Chapter Five

The loft was filled with the overpowering smell of onions and bellpeppers sizzling away in a pan. Stiles hummed to himself as he stired the noodles and pasta sauce. Derek knew cooking was one of the things he liked best, and it was certainly one of the boy's talents.

"Dinner soon," Stiles promised, turning to give him a wide smile.

"Good," Derek said. "Think I'll just excuse myself then- shall I?"

He made his way to the bathroom, pausing to look at his reflection in the mirror. He could still hardly believe it wasn't the face that had greeted him just this morning.

The face was familiar, but long behind him. His teenage self hadn't yet filled out completely, but the eyes and lopsided grin were still pretty much the same. It would take him some time to get used to this.

For some reason he also briefly pondered that he and Stiles were about the same age now. Stiles was actually just a little older in Derek's present state.

Derek had often wondered about this when he'd gotten those weird feelings and thoughts for Stiles. What if he were younger? What if pursuing more than friendship weren't technically illegal? Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.

His mind suddenly recalled the woman's curse- his hesitance to love, secrets he kept hidden.

He already knew Stiles had his own secrets as well. Really, the hyper teen probably kept too much to himself, to the point of attracting a Nogitsune. Weren't he and Stiles alike in that very thing? If he weren't a werewolf he didn't doubt the trickster spirit might have gone for him.

"Yo Der!"

Dinner was ready. Derek was impressed as ever by the spread on the table. He certainly didn't deny Stiles' cooking abilities.

He knew that after Claudia's death, Stiles had learned to cook because he didn't want his dad eating unhealthy fast food all the time. Claudia... whom everyone said Stiles so took after.

Derek knew the boy wouldn't likely want to discuss it, but it kept eating away at him as he played with his spaghetti. Finally he had to say something.

"Stiles, what was your mother like?"

Stiles eyed him in surprise and shock.

"Huh?"

"I'm sorry," Derek blurted quickly. "I know you don't like to talk about her."

"No it isn't that," Stiles said. "I just don't think many people would understand. Why do you want to know?"

As Derek suspected, Stiles now seemed guarded and distrusting.

"Well everyone says you're a lot like her," he pointed out.

"No," Stiles denied quietly. "I don't think I am. She was a nice person Derek, a good person."

"Stiles I keep telling you, what you weren't in control of doesn't make you a bad person."

"I'm still not a good person," Stiles argued. "Think about it. I'm sarcastic, snide, crude, and I think about only myself."

Derek shook his head.

"Everyone looks out for themselves Stiles!"

"Not the way I do," the boy shot back. "I think I'm just entitled to have everything I want! Think about the way I go after Lydia, after Malia, after... "

Stiles stopped himself, cutting off with a frown.

"Its okay Stiles," Derek tried to assure him. "That part of you is okay."

Stiles gave him a withering look.

"Do you have the slightest idea what that's like Derek!? To go to school everyday and hear people make cracks at it, even your best friend. To hear your best friend, your brother make cracks at people who are... "

"I don't suppose my acceptance would matter," Derek spat, tired of listening to the teen's whining and self-pity.

"Huh?" Stiles asked in confusion.

"When have you ever heard me take shots at anybody for it?" Derek demanded, eying him like daring him. "That's what teenagers do Stiles! They say stupid crap. Then they grow up and they realize you have to take life as it is. Why continue to hide it?"

Stiles looked at him, and suddenly he looked vulnerable, like he was ready to break.

"What if everyone hates me?" Stiles whispered, lips trembling with fear. "What if even Scott hates me?"

"Scott doesn't hate Ethan," Derek pointed out.

"That's different! Ethan isn't someone he's known forever. He tolerates Ethan."

"Stiles do you really believe what you're saying right now? Think, you know Scott. He's one of the nicest guys there is. You're lying again- to yourself."

"I don't know what to do Derek," Stiles sobbed, burying his face in his hands. "I hate myself. I hate everything that's happened! I just... "

Stiles didn't protest when Derek crossed the room, carefully placing that hand on his shoulder, just like he'd once done for him. Stiles inhaled through a choking sob and threw his arms around Derek. Derek let him. Stiles had been through more than some grown people ever go through.

"Its okay Stiles," Derek reassured him gently, carefully stroking the back of his head. "I promise it is. Its okay to like guys too."

Stiles exhaled loudly, but he didn't let go.

"Stop blaming yourself," Derek said. "Don't lose yourself again. Don't let him have the power. I don't know what I'd do... "

Stiles looked up at him, eyes still moist from crying, but no longer upset.

"What do you mean?" he asked, once again seeming vulnerable.

"I can't lose you again," Derek whispered shakily, fingers still stroking through Stiles' hair. "You have no idea what it did to me, watching that monster control you, thinking you were gone. I realized I didn't despise you. I lied too."

"Why Derek?" Stiles asked gently, raising a hesitant hand to his face.

"Because of what you make me feel," Derek choked like the words were painful, but the other teen knew this was the most open he'd ever been. "I was drawn to you almost immediately Stiles. Only one other person has ever... "

Derek hesitated, but Stiles didn't want the walls to go back up- not yet.

"Paige."

"Yes," Derek sighed with a shudder. "When I was just this age now. I was drawn to her for who she was. There was nothing sexual or possessive about it. That's how it is for you Stiles. Its just who you are."

"What are you saying Derek?"

"I'm saying... "

Derek looked deeply into those whiskey eyes. He'd become lost in them, and there was no pulling back now. Maybe he didn't want to.

"You're more than just a friend to me Stiles. I know this is... love. I love you... "

Stiles inhaled at the words, feeling both want and fear. There was recognition. He recognized what Derek was saying because he'd also felt it.

His mind flashed back to so many things- that day they'd first locked eyes at the preserve, holding the older Derek up at that pool, slapping and punching in an attempt to bring him around in that elevator.

"I love you too," Stiles whispered, trembling with the confession. "Derek!"

Derek seemed to study him for several moments. There was a certain state of absorbing the confessions, and it seemed like a long silence, difficult to break. Stiles found his eyes moving lower, taking in the other teen's lips, and he wanted to know.

Somehow they seemed to find their way to each other almost at exactly at the same time. Derek moved forward to meet him, their lips connecting like long-parted mates united, like longing and soul.

Derek inhaled and his lips quickened. He held Stiles closer, thinking of how right this was, how real and unshakable. He'd thought about this, but now it was his sixteen year old self finding love again, finding it in the most unexpected place- in the arms of another boy.

It didn't matter. Gender didn't matter. It was everything about Stiles- body and soul, like coming home to his mate at last!

He never wanted to let go. Stiles didn't want to let go...