[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] I have some issues keeping away from writing even if that would be way better for my health.

Thanks and hugs to all of you who keep reading and reviewing. Your encouraging feedback means a lot to me.

This chapter here is dedicated to secrets87 and mydsgirl. Hope you'll enjoy the update.

*I feel like I need to give you a little warning. We are going to find out some ugly details about Rosalie's past in this one. Feel free to skip the part between the XxXxXxX if you can't handle reading that kind of stuff.*

**Chapter 104**

I dipped another piece of potato into the creamy sauce before I put it carefully between my lips to nibble on it. For the first time in a very long period of time I didn't feel any appetite at all.

Maybe it was because of the culinary tantrum the beautiful blonde haired woman sitting opposite from me was throwing.

No dressing on the salad, no butter on the steak and sure as hell no potatoes at all. Carbs after 5 p.m. almost seemed like a sacrilege to Rosalie who had managed to lose all of her pregnancy fat during the last few weeks.

Unfortunately it didn't seem to have had a positive effect on her character. She was terribly tensed almost bitchy and I wondered why she had agreed to come to dinner at my house tonight at all.

"That was really delicious, Bella." Angela mumbled wiping her mouth on a napkin.

"But you didn't eat much, Dragostea mea. Aren't you feeling well?" Stefan asked her, taking her hand in his to squeeze it gently.

"Maybe she's trying to lose some weight?" Rosalie assumed, taking a sip from the glass of water in front of her.

"No, it's not like that." Angela stumbled out, fisting her hand around the napkin that she was still holding.

It was obvious to me why Angela was so nervous. Both of us had agreed that it would be best to break the happy news to her husband on a neutral territory. What we hadn't planned was that the evening turned into something like a family meeting.

I sighed and emptied the glass of orange juice in front of me in one big gulp.

"You actually know that this stuff contains nothing but sugar, water and some artificial flavor crap?" Rosalie asked me, putting a wisp of her long hair behind her ear.

"I'm drinking it because I like the taste."

"But it's a waste of empty calories,"

"Hmm,"

"How are the twins doing?" Stefan asked Emmett who pulled a few wrinkled pictures out of his purse.

"They're growing every day. Oh and I've finally figured out how to know which is who."

"Took you long enough," Rosalie muttered, taking another sip from her water.

"Are things going okay with Irina? I know it's none of my business but my brother-in-law keeps calling me over and over again because he's worried about her."

"He's calling because he's an asshole who doesn't respect his daughter's privacy at all." Angela stated, pouring herself another glass of the empty-caloried orange juice.

"He's just a bit overprotective. I know that you don't like him but he's family. You can't choose your family."

"Hmm, I know."

"Well to come back to our au-pair. She is really good with kids."

"And unlike a man who dares to call himself their father, Irina managed to know which twin is which within a couple of hours."

"It's not his fault. All babies look exactly the same. Not that they aren't cute that way." Stefan mumbled, running his fingers over the metal of Angela's wedding ring.

"The only thing that is wrong with Irina is that she is so terribly nervous all the time. She gets almost panicle when we are in a crowed place like the mall."

"That's just because she's not used to that. I mean she comes from a tiny village and Seattle is a pretty big town."

"Hmm, whatever, she needs to get used to it. Oh and we definitely need to convince her to go to the park with the kids again. They really need more fresh air, it makes them sleepier."

"Why doesn't she want to go there?" Angela asked Emmett, taking a small sip from her orange juice.

"Some creepy idiot tried to talk to her the last time she went there and now she's scared that something like that could happen again. I've tried to convince her that it's perfectly safe. It's not that there are constantly women getting raped there during the daytime."

Rosalie's plate landed on the floor with a shattering noise.

"Keep your stupid mouth shut for once, McCarthy." she stumbled out, pressing her hand against her lips. Her face had an almost greenish color now.

"Excuse me; I really think that I need some fresh air now."

With that she rushed out of the kitchen door. Slowly I stood up from my chair to follow her. It wasn't like I was keen on holding her hair while she threw up the few calories she had managed during the dinner but somehow I started worrying about her. Maybe it was because I actually knew how much Ali cared for her older sister.

Outside on the porch it was terribly cold for a summer night and I felt the bare skin on my forearms breaking out in goose flesh.

Rosalie sat down on the ground, her head pulled between her knees.

Hesitantly I put one arm around her quivering shoulder. A low sob escaped her throat before she burst out into tears.

"Are you okay?" I asked her worriedly, twisting her hair into a messy ponytail so that she wouldn't get it dirty.

She sniffed and pulled a tissue out of her pocket to clean her running nose.

"Crap," she whispered hoarsely, wiping a bit of smeared mascara from her cheekbone.

"I bet my entire makeup is ruined now."

"It's not that bad." I assured her, rubbing my fingertips over her wrist.

"Are you okay, Rose?"

She shook her head and sighed deeply. For a long moment none of us spoke a single word at all.

Somehow it was frightening and an unpleasant shiver of fear went down my spine.

"But I should be okay. I mean isn't it ridiculously stupid to let something torture you that happened such a long time ago."

I handed her a fresh tissue and took her hand in mine to rub small circles over the silver bracelets around her wrist.

"Tell me," I whispered, unsure if I really wanted to hear one single word of it.

XxXxXxXxXxX

"It was a week before my fifteenth birthday and today I know that I was nothing but a terrible naïve child with too big breasts back then. But at that time I felt like an adult woman who knew everything."

"I guess everyone is like that when you're fifteen." I mumbled, rubbing circles over her wrist. She had become so thin that I could feel her bones under the thin layer of skin.

"But I was…so terribly vain. I thought myself better than anyone else in my class just because I had won a few stupid teen modeling contests."

"I bet you were pretty back then."

"Yes, I was. At least from the outside but inside of me I was just shallow and insecure."

She sniffed and cleared her throat before she continued.

"I was desperate for any kind of attention because at home nobody really seemed to care about me. My parents were so concerned about Ali's weak heart and Edward...well Edward was just annoying little pain in the ass back then."

"Hmm,"

"And then Royce asked me to be his girlfriend and I was thrilled. He bought a rose for me on every single day for an entire month, telling me over and over again that I was the only thing on earth that could compare to their beauty. He was a slimy dazzler and I'm sure that if I had met him just a few years later I wouldn't have given him the light of the day. But back then…things were different. I was young and I was in love with the idea of love."

"Rose…,"

"On the day it happened I had snugged him into the house after dark, knowing that my parents wouldn't be home that night."

"What happened? What did he do to you?"

"You have to understand that everything that happened between me and Royce during that night was my fault. I was the one who invited him over. I was the one who promised him that we would finally do it that night."

"He…he…forced himself on you?" I whispered hoarsely, my own voice trembling slightly in my ears.

"It wasn't like that." she mumbled towards the ground.

"I…kind of encouraged him. I kissed him and rubbed myself against him while I was straddling him. It was fun and in a weird way it made me feel like a real woman. God, I was so fucking stupid back then."

She sniffed and wiped her running nose on the sleeve of her blouse, not even bothering to use the tissue now.

"I told him to stop, that I needed more time and he got so pissed at me. He told me that I was a provoking slut and…and."

"It's not your fault." I mumbled wrapping my arms around her shoulder to pull her closer to me.

"That's what Jasmine keeps telling me too but I know better. I didn't even scream for help that night. I just lay there and let him do it to me, like I was some lifeless doll. Thanks god the whole thing was over soon."

"That doesn't make it your fault, Rose. He could have stopped when you told him no. He had a choice; a man always has a choice."

"Whatever. Like I told you before, it shouldn't matter to me that much anymore. It was such a long time ago."

"Does Emmett know?"

"Of course not," her voice raised two octaves.

"He wouldn't understand. Please, Bella, you have to promise me not to tell him. I couldn't bear the thought of him knowing about these things."

XxXxXxXxXxX

"Babe? Are you and Bella still out there?"

She cringed slightly when she heard his voice behind her and quickly stood up from the ground, wiping away a bit of dirt from her backside.

"Can we go home now? I'm really tired."

He put his arms around her and planted a kiss on her cheek.

"That's because you keep starving yourself. Why in heavens name did you start with this diet crap at all?"

"I don't really know," she whispered leaning her head against his shoulder.

I told them goodbye, thankful for the dull light on the porch. It would probably manage to cover the tensed expression on my face.

When I walked back into the house I took several deep breaths in an attempt to calm myself down again.

"Bella? Are you feeling sick?" Stefan asked me worriedly when I sat down on my chair again. My hands were trembling and I quickly tried to hide them under the table.

"Just a bit dizzy," I mumbled halfheartedly.

"Maybe you should lay down a bit. The pregnancy doesn't seem to have a very good influence on your health."

"Hmm,"

Angela's eyes met mine and for a split second I wondered if it would be a good idea to wait a few more days to tell her husband. She was so insecure herself about her pregnancy.

Nervously I cleared my throat before I spoke up again.

"Stefan, there is something that Ela and I need to tell you about."

"Please tell me that Benjamin didn't do anything stupid again. Jeez, that boy is still such a child."

"It hasn't got anything to do with Benjamin." Angela stated, her hands instantly running down her upper body to place them right underneath her belly button.

"Or, no, that's not right; it has to do with him…at least a tiny bit. Do you think we can convince him to move out?"

"What for?"

"You might need his room for someone else." I stumbled out nervously.

"For whom?" he asked back, raising one eyebrow.

Angela gasped for air and a single tear rolled down her cheek a few heartbeats later. Stefan kneeled down next to her and cupped her face in his hand.

"I'm so sorry and I swear that I didn't do it on purpose."

"Do what on purpose?"

"I'm pregnant."

"Like…having a baby pregnant?" he stammered out after a few awkward moments of silence.

"How many other kinds of pregnant do you know? God, this is such a disaster."

She burst out into tears and sobbed against his shoulder for a while until she finally managed to pull back enough to wipe her running nose on the back of her hand.

"We're going to have a baby?" he whispered, circling his thumb over her cheekbones to wipe away a few of the remaining tears.

"I'm afraid we are."

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her trembling lips for a moment.

"Don't be afraid. This is something good, it's like miracle that it is happening to us and we should be happy for being blessed like that."