Well, here we are. Wally's not "outed" as crazy yet, but we certainly experience some insanity. Make a guess now!
I feel freedom in my head. So lightheaded. But, it is nice. I smile. 'Why is it dark?' I, internally, roll my eyes. 'Gotta open your eyes Walman.' I open my eyes. The blinding light forces me to close them again. I try again a few seconds later. I squint my eyes until I am used to the light. I look around. I'm in one of the softest beds ever made. 'Oh, nice. I'm gonna steal this. I gotta figure out how? How would I go about taking a whole bed? I guess I should take the sheets fi…"
"Wally? Kiddo? You awake?" I see Uncle Barry peek his head into the bedroom. I smile at him, hopefully cheerfully. Dick crawls under my uncle's legs to get into the room. Barry laughs. Dick rushes to my bedside. I smile at him. He smiles at me. Barry walks into the bedroom. Followed by Bruce. They walk to the other side of my bed.
"So, dude. How are you feeling?"
'How am I feeling? Should I tell them about how lightheaded I am?'
"You tired Kid?" Barry asked.
'Hmm. Should I answer him?'
"No. Actually, I am wide awake Uncle Barry."
"You had us worried for a little while," Bruce tells me.
'So, I'm all better?'
"I'm sorry."
Dick waves my worry away. "You were suffering from sleep deprivation. It's okay. I've acted, well, probably worse when I'm lacking sleep."
"I was?" I questioned.
"Yeah. Bruce recognized the signs he said. Listen, Wally, if your ever too tired to go to school or on a mission or patrol- just tell me. I'd rather you get enough sleep."
'No sleep was my problem. I knew I wasn't crazy.' "Okay, Uncle Barry. Will do." I look at the clock. "I am fully awake. Can I go to school? Now." I suggest. I softly glare at Dick. "Shouldn't you be at school?"
"Yeah. But I wanted to make sure my best friend was okay. You scared me last night."
'What would he want to hear? Sorry? I don't remember? Won't happen again? That's it. Just tell them: won't happen again.' I smile and say, "It might happen again." Everyone frowns. 'Was that the wrong thing to say? Oops.' I laugh. "I'm kidding."
They all laugh. Barry looks me in the eyes. "Don't scare us like that."
"Take me to school." Barry nods.
Bruce agrees. "You to Dick."
"Awe man." Dick whines.
We Zeted back to Central with the Zeta Tube in the Batcave. Uncle Barry's car was close. He leads the way. We drove for a few blocks before he pulled over. We were still at least ten blocks away from my school.
"What are you doing?"
"I keep forgetting that I'm supposed to let you practice. Your Aunt… Well, let's just say that I'll believe it when I see it."
I hop out, excited. 'Aunt Iris doesn't know what she's talking about. I'm not a bad driver. I'm a great driver.' Uncle Barry takes a seat in the passenger seat while I hop into the driver's seat.
"Okay Kid. Put your foot on the break and then switch to the D for drive."
I close my eyes tight. 'Don't yell. Don't yell. You are better now.' I open my eyes. 'Why does it still burn when I'm angry if I'm all better?. "I know," I say, slowly.
"Okay kid. Just making sure."
I put the car in Drive. I keep my foot on the break and look behind me. Then I gaze into my driver's mirror.
"Don't forget your blinker, Wally."
I throw the car into park. I glare at Uncle Barry. "I know," I yell.
He throws his hands up. "I'm just making sure. You've only been driving for two months and have never been in the car with me."
"Just let me do this. Okay?" He nods. I put the car back into Drive. I put my left blinker on. I look behind me and then into my driver's mirror. I slowly pull out.
We are driving for a few minutes before someone starts honking behind me. I look at them in my rearview mirror. Uncle Barry leans over to look at my dash. "Wally. You're doing fifteen in a forty. You gotta speed up."
"I know, Uncle Barry," I shout.
"Wally, stop yelling at me. I trying to help you. Turn right up here."
"I know where the school is."
"Wally, two minutes and you're not driving anymore today." I turn right on the street Uncle Barry wanted me to turn on. "Wally. The curb. You're driving on the curb."
"It's okay," I yell. I position us back on the road.
Uncle Barry looks scared. "Okay? No. It's not okay to drive on the curb. What if a pedestrian was just walking by and minding their own business?"
'I could have killed someone: I'm sorry. I want to say that.' "They would have got run over. And next time they will know to get out of my way."
Uncle Barry rolls his eyes. I slam on the brakes to stop the car in front of the school. "Kiddo. Are you sure you aren't still tired?"
I smile. 'Of course, I'm sure.' "Uncle Barry, just leave me alone today." I jump out of the car and run into the school before Uncle Barry could stop me.
'What time is it?' I look for a clock. I see one at the end of the hallway. The office comes first. I stop in and get my late pass.
"Wally my boy, you're never late."
"Happens." I rush the word out. I'm trying not to snap at my principle.
"We are in third period."
I facepalm. "Oh fine." I snatch my late pass and walk, as slowly as possible, to the hell hole known as English.
I peek my head into the room. I see the rest of the class- Taking a test? Maybe? My teacher ushers me into the room. I walk towards her to receive my copy of the test. She smiles. I glance at the clock. 'Uge. The class just started.'
"Wally." She starts in a whisper. "We are doing a creative project. Taking a break from The Giver."
'Oh thank god.'
"I told everyone to write a song. Something personal. We'll do this for two weeks. Go sit down and begin the writing process."
'Well shit me. This sucks.'
'I don't know what to write about?'
I hate writing. I hate it so much.
This shit sucks.
'Well, that's stupid. Even for me.' I take a deep breath. 'Hmm.'
I was daddy's little boy.
I was daddy's little whore.
But, that doesn't matter anymore.
Because now it's true love.
All around.
I'm Uncle's Little boy.
I'm Uncle's Little Innocent sunshine.
Who can tell me what's wrong with me? Who can show me…?
Oh, forget that.
My head is all over, my brain isn't sober, and the pain feels forever.
Can anyone sever
My issues.
Or tell me, because I sure wish I knew
If these problems had a name.
Because I am starting to think that I am not entirely sane.
'Oh, this is getting good. It's easy.'
I feel so much. I feel so often.
Of every single second, of every single day.
I just can't make the pain go away.
I love so very few people so much that it hurts my heart when we are apart.
And I fear so much that we will grow apart.
They'll leave me.
They are gonna leave me.
But I have the power (that's what I always say) to keep them safe,
Right here in my life.
One minute, you are the best. You are high on my radar.
A shining star
With zero rife in my life.
But then skip a second. You could very well be…
Nothing to me...
A horrid nobody. Dropped. Off. Of. My. Earth.
Best friends today. Enemy's tomorrow.
You would think, that knowing this
I'd try to fix…
'Fix what?' There's not a thing wrong with me. You heard them. I was just tired.' Suddenly I hear the teacher clear her throat. For our attention, I assume.
"Okay, guys. I Want to use the last fifteen minutes to take a look at what you have gotten thus far."
I sigh. 'No thank you, ma'am.' I hear her pick and choose students. I hid my head. 'I hate sharing.' The moment I dreaded came. She called, "Wally." I grabbed my piece of paper and walked to her desk at the front of the room.
She reads the top of the page, which I crossed off.
"I hate writing. I hate it so much.
This shit sucks."
"Cute Wally." I shrug. She's not looking forward to reading the real song. 'Like I care.'
She begins to read it to herself.
I was daddy's little boy.
I was daddy's little whore.
But, that doesn't matter anymore.
Because now it's true love.
All around.
I'm Uncle's Little boy.
I'm Uncle's Little Innocent sunshine.
Who can tell me what's wrong with me? Who can show me…?
Oh, forget that.
My head is all over, my brain isn't sober, and the pain feels forever.
Can anyone sever
My issues.
Or tell me, because I sure wish I knew
If these problems had a name.
Because I am starting to think that I am not entirely sane.
I feel so much. I feel so often.
Of every single second, of every single day.
I just can't make the pain go away.
I love so very few people so much that it hurts my heart when we are apart.
And I fear so much that we will grow apart.
They'll leave me.
They are gonna leave me.
But I have the power (that's what I always say) to keep them safe,
Right here in my life.
One minute, you are the best. You are high on my radar.
A shining star
With zero rife in my life.
But then skip a second. You could very well be…
Nothing to me...
A horrid nobody. Dropped. Off. Of. My. Earth.
Best friends today. Enemy's tomorrow.
You would think, that knowing this
I'd try to fix…
She stared at that piece of paper for a long time. The bell rang. Lunch is a must. 'I need to go. I think I'm hungry.'
"Okay, anywho. It's lunchtime. So I'm just gonna grab..." I reach for the paper. I tug the corner, gently. "This. And head out." She stops me. 'Why?'
"This is true?"
"It's not a big deal. Just words that sound nice together." I look at the clock. "It will get better. I promise." I quickly add. I snatch the paper and run out of the classroom door. 'I hope that bitch don't make this into a bigger deal than it actually is.'
"Wally." I hear my name being called. I stop in my tracts. "Wally." I hear it again. I turn around. I see my ex-friend, Hartley, chasing after me.
"What?" I ask, venom dripping off my tongue.
"I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry I yelled at you. I'm sorry for calling you petty and sad. If it affected you that much, it's not petty. Can we still be friends?"
'No. Of course not.' My face- suddenly I'm smiling. I don't want to smile. "Yes. Of course."
"Great."
'Great? I just told you we aren't friends still and that's great?' He puts an arm around my shoulders. I have no energy to push him off of me.
"Let's go meet up with James and Nicole." He says to me.
"Okay." Besides that, we walk in complete and utter silence to the cafeteria. I see James and Nicole chatting in the lunch line. Or should I say Nicole is chatting while James is looking at the ground? We cut in line to be with them.
"Hey, you two," Nicole says, a smile present on her face.
"Hi," James said in a hurry. He looks depressed. 'Wait. James has depression, right? No. Psychotic depression."
"James, you alright."
"Just wait." He tells me. So I wait. We get our food. I get three lunches today to start off with. And we head to our usual table. Once we sit down Hartley says, "Spill it, Jesse."
I went to the doctors yesterday.
"And that's bad?" He's normally so chirper after a doctor appointment.
"The doctor doesn't think I have Psychotic Depression anymore. He thinks I have Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder."
"You did always say that you didn't feel like you had psychotic depression." Nicole offered.
"Yeah, but you don't get it. You guys are normal. It get's hard. This is my fourth diagnosis. I'm never gonna figure out what's wrong with me. And without knowing what's truly wrong with me, I can't figure out who I am." He sighs before continuing. "First it was Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Then they thought it was Unipolar Disorder. Then they gave another crack at it and I was trying to understand myself. I started to believe Psychotic Depression was what I had. What to blame these things wrong with my head on. But no. Now they wanna tell me I have Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder."
"New pills," I asked.
"Of course. With each diagnosis comes a new prescription. And worse of all, I have to study up on a new disorder."
"Hey. We have to study a new disorder." Nicole corrected.
"Did I hear that correctly. Whittle James Jesse is crazy?"
"Go fuck yourself, Walker," I say. 'God, I hate this motherfucker.'
"Yeah, Axel. You to bored with your own life, you gotta eavesdrop on other people's?"
He ignored both me and Nicole. "So do you like, see dead people." James rolled his eyes.
I stand up. I push him. "That's enough, douchebag."
"Wally. Don't." James says. He too, now standing.
"Yeah, listen to your boyfriend, West." He pushes me back. The scene started attracting the attention of the vultures -cough- I mean, students.
I smile. "Don't push me, Walker." I push him back. He tumbles over.
Terra Markov caught him and pushed him back towards me. "Kick the science geek's ass." She shouted. She jumps up with her fist in the air.
I raise my fist. I nod at him. 'I'm gonna kill him.' He glares at me. He turns to face James. "You gonna let your friend take your beating Psycho?"
I grunt. I am so angry. 'I want to kill him. I'm gonna kill.' "Don't look at James. Or Nicole. Not even Hartley. This is between me and you. And the only motherfucker who is going to take a beating around here is you." I push him again. "Loser," I add.
"Just like a sad, little nerd to defend the insane. Take your best shot, freak lover." I start to laugh. I can't stop laughing. He looks at me awkwardly. He is holding his hands up, limply. I suddenly stop laughing. I'm breathing heavily. "What the hell is your problem, West? Is crazy contagious?"
My eyes snap up- looking him in the eye. "I. Am. Not. Crazy." I say slowly. "I am not crazy," I repeated, much faster- much louder. I jump on him, knocking us both to the floor. I'm sitting on his chest. I'm hitting him repeatedly with each of my fists. Right. Left. Right. Left. "I'll fucking kill you. I'm gonna fucking kill you." I grip my hands around his throat. He's choking. I smash his head against the floor a couple of times. The cheering and booing and worrying- all a jumbled mess of noise around me. "Just, fucking die. Die. Fucking Die." I can't help but to cry. He won't die like I want. I feel arms on me. I'm being pulled off of Axel Walker. 'What's going on?' I blink my eyes. I'm standing now. I look down. 'Axel is bleeding really bad.'
I look around. Everyone is silent. I catch my friend's gaze. They look scared. Nicole is the first to recover. I'm being dragged out of the cafeteria. She shouts, "Wait." The teacher turns to face her. 'I feel like I'm under arrest. Did I just kill him?' I see the school nurse checking for a pulse. 'Hope he fucking dies.'
"Axel started the fight."
Terra intervenes, "yeah, maybe. But Axel isn't the one who went crazy. Wally West caught James' crazy." She tells anyone who decides to listen to her.
James stomps his foot in frustration.
Hartley puts a hand on James' shoulder. "He's not crazy. And you can't catch crazy you ignoramus."
"That's enough, students." The teacher looks at my two friends and Hartley. "You three, walk Mister West to the principal's office."
Nicole grabs my right hand. James rushes to my left side and grabs my free hand. Hartley walks beside Nicole.
The walk is pretty silent. James is shuffling around nervously. Hartley is chattering his teeth. And Nicole? She's humming. 'They are your friends, Walman. Relax. Don't kill them. Deep breath.'
"Guys. If you don't mind." I start with fake cheerfulness. 'Is that a word?' Shrug my shoulders. "I would like complete silence right now."
Nicole just couldn't let me have that. "Wally. What the hell was that?"
James had to butt in. "You didn't have to do that, Wally."
'Yes, I did.' "I know."
"Then why did you beat up Axel Walker to a bloody pulp?" Nicole is too noisy for her own good.
"Because I did."
I take a seat on the bench outside the principal's office. 'Uncle Barry might kill me today." I put my hands on my head. I push my right hand through my hair.
Nicole sits next to me. James takes a seat on the floor, in front of me. Kneeling. Hartle opts to stand on the side that I'm sitting. He places a hand on my shoulder.
I can't hold the sigh back. 'What's wrong with me? Stupid. I'm so fucking stupid.'
"Dude. Everything will be alright. Axel's been promoting an ass beating by you for a long time."
"Terra Markov is apparently still pissed at you for turning her down for the eighth grade formal. Who would have guessed?" James added.
I chuckle. "I knew. I have homeroom with her. She tells me every time we have a homeroom day."
"That's fucking insane." Hartle laughed.
"Hey. I said I could go out with her the next day. But one of my best buds, James, didn't have a date. I don't break my promises for my friends. I promised I'd take you to Formal and I meant it."
"I thought that was gonna be more embarrassing than going alone. But it was super fun."
"I remember Hartle pulled up with that hottie, Frankie Kane," Nicole smirked.
"Well, yeah. But she wanted to date Wally."
I smile. I feel bad for Hartle… And James. I turn towards Nicole. "I forget the name of your date. He moved. Right?"
"Yeah. He moved. He was weird. Joseph Wilson. And his dad, Slade I think, was weirder. And don't get me started on his brother Grant and Sister Rose. Wanna talk about crazy? Meet that family."
"No. I think crazy was… Rachel or Raven? What was her name?" James looks at me. I smirk. I know where this is going.
"It was Rachel Raven Roth. Raven was her middle name, but she preferred to be called Raven."
"Well, that bitch Raven was psycho. Totally manipulated you into going out with her. She had some mental illness now. I wanted to offer her my pills.
"Yeah. Probably." I say. What else could I say
"Wally?" I look up. There is my portly principle interrupting my reminiscing. I sigh before standing. "We are ready for you."
"Couldn't guess," I mutter.
Well, R&R! We discussed James' crazy tendencies. I hope my memory served me correctly. It was never revealed what disorder or illness he has. So I chose a few which I believed he could have. And misdiagnosis are a huge part of this game we are forced to play. James is gonna be a comfort, most likely, later on. So I wanted to remind everyone that James is "crazy" too and show that he has been dealing with this "coming out effects" for a long time. I thought Axel Walker would make a good douchbag in this. He's the second Trickster. For those of you who may not know. All characters in this story are DC originals. I don't own any of them. I thought adding one of the original Wally/Raven storylines would be good. And it helps diagnose Wally with this particular disorder. Ooo, another hint if you haven't gone and cheated yet.