Draco was idly tapping his cane on the edge of the sofa as he hung his head off the bottom. His knees were tucked over the top, and he was humming to himself. He didn't mind the thumping that played in a decent beat to the song. The music in his head was causing him mayhem as it was. He heard footsteps and then a knock, before the door creaked open.
"Son, we are having a guest for the night," Narcissa snapped.
Draco stopped and arched his eyebrows. "A guest or a friend?"
"Family. Now at least ask Ramsey to clean that gruesome fur off your face," Narcissa growled and the door shut.
He knew she had every right to be frustrated with him. Draco hasn't been very kind to her lately, and he wasn't exactly confident how to fix it. It all was circling the fucking drain, and no amount of guilt would change that. He was worse than his father; everyone he loved he has hurt.
He moved his cane so it thudded in front of him on the floor and he tapped it, listening to it hiss against the carpet. It was a grounding sound that helped him square down the song replaying in his mind. He was mumbling along to the song until he remembered the last bit of lyrics.
"I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me
And it's been awhile since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile since I said I'm sorry…"
He finished and paused his cane as he heard footsteps outside the door. "Draco, can we speak?" Hermione's voice asked carefully as she entered the room.
Draco fumbled and nearly toppled himself off the couch at the abruptness of her appearance. "Yes- well- what is it, Granger?" he hummed as he righted himself on the sofa.
She shifted, and he could hear a shyness he wasn't used hearing. "Draco, can you please do me a favor? Teddy is spending the night, and I want you to," she paused and exhaled. "Please don't hurt his feelings, alright? He idolizes you," she admitted.
"Oh, yes, of course, Granger. I love that kid," he said and rubbed his face.
"I appreciate it. He is the most important person in my life," She told him, and the sound of her rubbing fabric was audible.
"I know. Anything else?" Draco asked, hoping that his eagerness was in his voice.
"Your mother mentioned your facial hair and her horrible dislike for it. Well, I could help you with it," she murmured.
He frowned deeply. "What?"
"She asked me to see if I would offer considering you are not a fan of another man doing it," she declared and shifted again.
"Why are you doing this?" he inquired tapping his tool on the floor.
"I want to make this easier. It is clear my son loves you both deeply. If I do end up going through with my next adventure, your mother is going to be relentless. Shall we at least be cordial?" her voice was nervous, and he bit his lower lip.
"Okay," he said quietly.
Her breath was let out with relief clear on the air. "Okay, good. That is good."
Draco stood up, and they made their way from the room. He could hear his mother doting on the child down the hallway as they approached the staircase. It was sweet and light on the air as the boy was going on about Christmas. Hermione was silent aside from her footfalls as she fell into step behind him.
He wasn't sure what to say to her. He hated himself so much lately that her instant change in attitude was alarming. They went inside his wing, and he heard Hermione hesitate a moment. Draco twitched his lips and hemmed as he found his way into his bathroom. "I assume you aren't going to kill me, correct?"
"Wouldn't dream of it, Malfoy. Your mother would be upset I ruined the bathroom rugs," she retorted as she followed.
The sound of the light switch triggered and he tapped his cane. "Where do you need me then?"
"Toilet, I have decent light," she muttered and shuffled through the drawers.
The Malfoy put down the seat and huffed as he pulled off his shirt. He sat down, stretching his legs out in front of him. The woman was running the sink before too long, and he listened to her shifting. There was a discomfort in the air, and he wished he could see her face. He didn't know what to say.
"How was New York?" he finally settled on.
"It was good. I will hear back from the specialist this week if my egg took," she declared and approached him. "You want me to rid it all or make it look less mangy?"
"I can't see it, so do what you think looks best," he mused.
She hummed in contemplation before speaking. "I am just going to give you a fresh start." He heard a bowl and something wooden or bristled. "It might be a bit cold," Hermione warned.
It was a pause of time, and he grew concerned. "Granger?"
"Oh- I am sorry," she simpered and he felt the brush and thick liquid cover his cheek.
"Were you admiring me?" he teased, and her hand staggered.
"No- I mean- I didn't," she stuttered then cleared her throat. "I just didn't remember," she sighed.
The sting in her voice made him cringe at her touch again as she finished her task. Hermione stayed silent still as the small chime of the bowl being set down and her pacing before her body heat was felt close to him. "Head back," she whispered.
He listened to her and felt the blade touch his skin. The woman was careful, and he felt the perfect amount of firmness to it as she swept it slowly over his skin. "Are you scared?" he asked after a long wait.
"To cut your face? No," she snorted, and he heard the shift of fabric against the blade.
"No, to have a baby," he said.
She made another pass with the razor before answering. "A little. I am alone but not entirely. I have Teddy and Regulus said he would be there if I needed anything. Harry and Ginny are team 'Baby Black,' so, it will be alright."
"What you said to me before. You were right," Draco sighed, and her fingers touched his freshly shaved skin.
"Likely," she responded.
"I was and have been a horrible person. I don't know anything else," He admitted, and she ran the blade under his neck.
"That is a lie, you know," she murmured.
His brow pinched together. "What do you mean?" he asked lowly.
"You weren't terrible to me when we were together. You just didn't own up to your behavior before we ever got together," Hermione said gently, and her hand turned his head.
"How do you admit to being such a disgusting person? How does it not ruin anything good about you?" he inquired as the blade ran on his other cheek.
She snorted. "It isn't about where you have been; it is about where you are going. The past can only be just that if you let it go. You really think I would have attempted to be with you if I didn't try?" She asked him, and he sighed heavily.
"I am spineless," he replied.
"Sometimes," she agreed with a sound. "Hold on, let me get under your nose."
He could see her in his mind. Her quizzical but focused expression as she ran the razor near his lips. Hermione's deep amber eyes as she watched the shaving cream disappear and his pale skin appear underneath. Draco liked those things about her, even if he couldn't see her.
"You didn't defend me," she breathed.
The blade left his skin, and he exhaled. "I know. I didn't know where we stood. I froze knowing that if I exploded you would see that ugly side of me and leave me anyway. I have this twisted side that wanted to beat Antonin to a bloody pulp. That disgusting side that wanted to stick a knife in Yait's hand. That dark side that wanted to shove a fork in Malcolm's eye socket… I could have easily and not lost sleep over it."
He felt the wet cloth run against his face. "Regulus told me that Antonin was convicted, but he is out now. He must have had some good lawyers because he didn't get any time. However, I am sure the fines and losing his spot on the board was justice enough." She declared, and Draco hemmed.
"I am glad he got something. He deserved far worse," Draco replied, and her fingers touched his clean skin.
"I hated you since the wedding," she confessed and exhaled. "You brought that horrible woman who laughed and jeered at me. I was going to tell you I made a mistake and I wanted to start over. She told me I was pathetic on my way to the bathroom and I knew I couldn't stay and watch."
His hand reached up to her face, and he felt the dampness of a tear trail. "I am so sorry that I keep hurting you. I just wanted your happiness, and by being selfish, I caused you pain. If I would have known that it would have happened like that, I would have never even thought I deserved you."
She pressed his hand harder against her face, and he felt more silent tears run around his hand. "You do, Draco, that's what makes me so upset. If you would just let me in and be yourself with me, it would be different. You would see how important you are to me."
He swallowed hard and bit his lip. "Hermione, if you knew the person I am you wouldn't say that. I am this dark gnarled person. I have this shadow that rises and swells it can devour me at times. Maybe there is something truly wrong with me."
"Don't you understand?" she questioned and moved her hand from his, but he soon felt the chilled touched of her fingers on his chest. "You have so much more than you credit yourself. If you just believe in yourself, you would be able to see that."
"Do you have to leave tonight?" he breathed, and she sighed.
"I do. Charlie is waiting to drive me home. He promised to help me pack up some of my flat for me. I am going to move in January if all goes according to plan."
Draco frowned and tilted his head. "Where are you moving to?"
Her fingers tensed slightly against his skin. "I am going to move into a nice house closer to Harry and Ginny so I can get some help with the baby. The specialist told me that as long as the embryo takes and I keep on my diet and prep hormones it should work well," she explained and he nodded.
"Good, I am glad as long as you feel comfortable," he told her.
He felt her move through her arm, and her lips touched his. "You have no idea how much I miss you," she whispered when they parted.
"I miss you too," he paused and touched her lips politely once more. "But, I have so much to make up to you if I could ever be worthy enough for your forgiveness," Draco's voice was gentle as he touched her shoulder.
"Then I suppose you should start," Hermione declared and took his hand in hers. "My name is Hermione Jean Granger. My parents left for Australia when I graduated from Hogwarts. I still sneak into my son's room to watch him sleep and watch romantic films by myself so that I can cry freely."
He shook her hand. "My name is Draco Lucius Malfoy. I was a spoiled, entitled snot until my father died and I lost my sight. After that, I felt like the world wronged me until I met someone who made me see how wrong I really was. I still hug a pillow before I go to sleep and I enjoy the smell of rain." He finished, and she laughed lightly.
"It was lovely to meet you, Draco. I will see you tomorrow afternoon?" she questioned.
Draco nodded and released her hand. "I look forward to it, Granger." He murmured, and she left him in the bathroom.
O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O
Draco had excused his mother so he could spend time with the boy. Ramsey had lit them a fire and taken down some of the figures for the child to play with on the rug. Draco wasn't sure if the boy was happy with his blind friend for the night, but he was trying to make a decent impression. It was the first time Teddy wanted to spend time with him aside from in the pool or reading a book to the incapable man. Draco was laying on the ground and making full effort to follow the child's story.
"This is a Hungarian Horntail and they are the meanest. It has a spine that is super sharp down its back. Feel it?" Teddy asked and pushed the figure to Draco.
"I do feel it. It is very spiky," he murmured and smirked. "It doesn't even bother you that I can't see?"
"Nope, it just means I need to tell you what I see. My mum told me all about it. She always says that just because you can't see doesn't mean you don't like to know things. She said your ears are your eyes."
Draco reached over and patted the child's shoulder. "You are such a good boy." He muttered and squeezed it lightly.
Teddy made a sound and tapped Draco's arm. "Hey, Draco. Does my mom want to be your girlfriend again?"
The man frowned deeply. "How do you know she ever was?" he inquired.
Teddy moved a few more figures because Draco could feel them scooting on the ground. "Well, Aunt Ginny and mum were talking about it when we were watching a film. Mum said that when she was your girlfriend she was happy and then you made her sad. Why?" Teddy declared.
Draco huffed and rubbed his face. "Sometimes boy don't mean to hurt girls that they like. I was not a nice boy before your mummy came to work with me. I used to be really mean actually. The meanest person your mummy ever knew. She made me nicer, but I didn't know how much she liked me too." He explained as simplistic as he could to an eight-year-old.
Teddy made a sound of thought. "Okay, but if she does become your girlfriend again, will we move here?"
What was Draco supposed to say to that? "Maybe if your mum wants to eventually we can talk about it then. This talk stays between us boys, alright? Your mum would be upset if she knew we are talking about her." He said and Teddy laughed.
"You are right. I like you Draco. I hope you do better," Teddy replied.
"You just like my big house with the toys I have left over from when I was a kid," Draco snickered while making a stupid face with his tongue out. Teddy giggled wickedly, and suddenly Draco's back had the body weight of him. "Ow! Kid, you weigh like three potato sacks."
The boy's arms went around his shoulders and he hugged the man. "Well, mum says I am going to be strong like my dad."
"I suppose we need to start doing push ups together," Draco chuckled and did two push ups before the child tumbled off in a giggle fit.
"Can we go play in the snow tomorrow?" Teddy asked.
"Yeah, we just need to make sure your Aunt Cissa doesn't mind watching just in case," Draco responded while flopping on the floor.
"Okay," Teddy sighed and let loose a yawn.
"Alright, boy. Time for some sleep. Aunt Cissa is gonna come wake you up early for breakfast. Head on down to your room."
Teddy's feet sounded on the rug. "Draco, can I take the werewolf figure with me? It reminds me of my dad's picture in my bedroom. He was wearing a wolf shirt." He sounded unsure as he asked.
"Of course, in fact, you can take whatever toys you want, alright? They are now yours when you stay here." Draco told him and the boy clapped.
"Thanks! You are the best!" Teddy exclaimed and padded over.
"Good night, Teddy. Sleep well," the man murmured.
"Night, Draco. Thanks for listening," the child said and the door sounded.
Draco smiled and reached for his cane. He pushed the toys away from walking area before standing up. There was something that happened… he actually could see himself spending evenings hanging out with that kid... maybe his mum too. Yes, that was indeed the dream.