[Disclaimer] Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight but Lilly is all mine

[A/N] It's so hard to say goodbye to something that you love so much and I've cried so much in the last week that some people asked me if someone died.

WTHN will always have a special place in my heart and I don't know if any other story I'm going to write will ever be loved like this.

Hugs and kisses to all my lovely readers out there. Hope you'll enjoy this little glimpse into the future. I really enjoyed writing it a lot.

**Epilogue**

Lilly

I closed my mouth around the tiny piece of grapefruit and tried my best to ignore the disgusting bitterly aftertaste it left on my tongue.

It's not supposed to taste good, I reminded myself. You're just eating this yucky stuff in order to get rid of your fat ass.

The dog whimpered and when I turned my head in his direction I realized that he looked completely miserable. Slowly I stood up from my chair and kneeled down next to him on the kitchen ground.

My fingertips moved over the fluffy, russet colored fur and a low purring noise escaped his throat before he nudged his snout against my cheek.

"No," I whispered.

"We can't go to the park now. Have you forgotten that I'm still grounded?"

He whined again and I opened the kitchen door for him to let him out in the garden.

Two gone, two more to go, I thought exasperated when my eyes caught the calendar hanging on the wall.

"So, not fair of them to ruin my summer holidays like that." I mumbled, rubbing my fingertips over the tiny tattoo on my left wrist that had led to me spending an entire month inside the house like a fucking prisoner.

Mom had flipped when she had discovered it and Momma had like usually taken her side although I knew that she didn't really mind it at all.

At least, that's what she should do. I know that Momma has a tattoo herself and hers like…ten times the size of mine.

I poured myself a glass of diet coke and emptied it in one big gulp, placing the glass on the kitchen counter when the phone started ringing.

"Hello?"

"Did I reach the reformatory?"

"You're such an asshole, Alec."

"Hello to you to, Lilly. I can't believe you really stayed home today too although your folks were out the entire day. God how chicken, are you?"

I growled and felt my cheeks turning warm from anger.

"How nice that you've finally remembered calling your girlfriend,"

"I have a social life too that needs my attention, baby, but now I'm all yours."

For Alec having a social life means hanging around at one of his shit-headed friends' places and play videogames.

"Do you want to go to Derek's party with me tonight?"

"Alec, which part of me being grounded is too complicated for you to grasp?"

"Oh come on, Lilly, just sneak out of your window. It's not like you haven't done it before."

"I don't need any more trouble with my mothers' than I already have."

"Kay, if you prefer me going there on my own…,"

"Alec…,"

"Yeah, I know. Oh, did I already tell you that my annoying sister is back from Italy again. It seems like she and Trish had a pretty good time over there."

Something cramped painfully around my heart and for a moment I wondered what was causing it.

"Are you still there?"

"Hmm,"

"Look, I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't have mentioned my sister. The two of you are still bitchy with each other, aren't you?"

I didn't have the nerves to discuss my Jane problem with him, because I knew that he was secretly thrilled that his sister hasn't spoken one single word with me since she caught me and him kissing behind the gym three months ago.

No matter how hard I tried I couldn't bring myself to understand why she was so terribly pissed at me for dating her brother. It's like she's jealous although that would be completely ridiculous of course.

Jane is the one who suddenly stopped having time for me because she needed to turn her entire attention to her new girlfriend. I had tried my best to be nice to this unspeakable excuse of a woman but the truth is that I can't stand Trish no matter what. She's not good enough for Jane and I wonder what the hell she's seeing in her that draws her in…

"You're not crying again, are you?" Alec asked after a few awkward moments of silence.

"No, I'm not. Look, I'll try to convince my mothers' to let me go tonight but I can't promise you anything."

"Fine, let's talk later then. Bye. I love you, baby."

"Ditto,"

I hung up and took a deep breathe through my nose when I heard the key turning around in the lock.

"Lilly!"

My little sister rushed into the kitchen and wrapped her arms around me.

"Oh Lilly, you should have come with us to the zoo. They have new ice bear babies and they are so cute."

Her light brown eyes started sparking when she started telling me every tiny detail about the animals she had seen today.

"Hi Lilly, how was your day?" Mom asked me when she and Momma entered the kitchen hand in hand.

"Long and boring," I stated, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

"Do you want to have some milk?" I asked Zoe when I poured myself another glass of diet coke.

"Yes, please. Do we have cocoa too?"

I nodded my head and sipped slowly on my own sugar-free drink.

"You know why we grounded you, do you?" Mom asked me hesitantly after sitting down on one of the kitchen chairs.

"Because you are pissed at me for getting the tattoo,"

"We're not punishing you for the tattoo but for getting it done behind our backs with a faked ID on top of it."

"It's my body and I can do with it as it pleases me."

"Lilly, we're not going to have this discussion again. What you did was wrong –point."

"I like Lilly's tattoo. It's pretty." Zoe mumbled while she nibbled on a candy bar she had pulled out of her backpack.

My stomach growled like a hungry wolf and I cursed myself for being so terribly inconsequent when it came to my eating habits.

I've inherited my temper from my father and my fat ass from my mother. Guess my life would be way easier if it were the other way round.

Nervously I cleared my throat before I spoke up again, turning my attention directly to Momma because she was the softer-hearted one of them.

"Can I go to Derek's party with Alec tonight?"

"Since when does being grounded contain attending parties outside the house?"

"Oh please, I really want to go. Everyone is going and you're going to make me a social pariah if you forbid me to attend it."

"No, you're not going and that's my last word."

"But I want to go! I need to go! Alec will be pissed at me if I don't show up."

"Lower your voice, Lilly. Your mother said no and she's right doing so."

"You can stay here with me and Cara if you want to, Lilly. We're going to have a slumber party."

Great, can you sink any lower than to spend a Friday night together with your little sister and her friend watching stupid Disney movies?

The doorbell rang and I went to open it, while I tried to figure out if it would increase my chances to go to the party if I started crying in front of everyone again.

"Hi Lilly, how's it going?" Stefan greeted me cheerfully while Cara behind him waved her hand shyly at me.

"Not that good. My mothers have a sadistic fun of ruining the best years of my life."

He smirked and grabbed Cara's stuff when he followed me into the kitchen.

"Grandpa!"

"Hi Zoe, your sister doesn't seem to be in a very good mood today."

"She's angry because mom won't let her go to a party tonight."

"Oh, I see."

He took my hand and turned it around to take a closer look at the tattoo that had caused all the trouble for me.

"So much drama about such a tiny tattoo,"

"Please, Stefan, convince them to let me go. It's really important to me to be there tonight."

"I don't know if that is going to work, Lilly."

"How are the wedding preparations going?" Momma asked him in an attempt to change the subject of our conversation.

"I've spoken to my brother on the phone last week but he and Seth still haven't made up their mind about the color scheme."

"The problem is that Benjamin's expectations and our financial possibilities aren't really compatible. I mean an ice sculpture. Who on earth needs an ice sculpture?"

XXXX

"I'm glad they let you go," Alec mumbled when he turned off the engine of the car.

He placed his hand on my knee and I instantly regretted having put on a skirt for the party.

"You look pretty, tonight." he whispered, moving his hand higher on my thigh in small circles.

"Stop that," I told him, grabbing my hand around his wrist to interlace the fingers of my hand with his.

The problem with Alec was that he was constantly trying to push my limits, no matter how often I told him that I was in no way ready for second base or third base or whatever kind of base. Still he can't stop with the fumbling all the time. It's so annoying.

Maybe the true problem was me and not him. When I was with Alec, I never knew how I was supposed to feel like.

When we stepped out of the car he kissed me and I waited for the legendary butterflies to swirl up in my stomach. It didn't happen. It never did.

Kissing Alec was basically nothing more than pressing my lips against his while he plugged his tongue so deep into my mouth that I almost choked on it.

"I love you, baby."

"Ditto,"

We entered the house and I realized that it was much too crowded inside there for my liking.

"I'll get us something to drink, baby." He stated, planting a wet kiss on the tip of my nose before he disappeared in the crowd.

"Oh hello, Lilly, nice to see you,"

I turned around and forced my lips into a faked smile when I saw Trish standing in front of me with her peaky arms around Jane's middle.

Jane was stunning tonight, like usually she had put on way more makeup than necessary but at her this smoky eye-thing looked…sexy somehow.

"How was Italy?" I asked Trish in an attempt to make some small talk.

"Lovely. Maybe you and Alec should come with us next summer. Shouldn't they, honey?"

Jane's mouth twitched for a moment before she cupped Trish's face between her hands and started kissing her passionately.

The painful cramping around my heart came back with so much force that I had to lean back against the wall behind me to remain standing. It hurt me so much that she was still ignoring me so completely. Jane has been the most important person in my life for such a long time and I couldn't, I didn't want to image my future without her being part of it.

"Are you finished watching my dyke sister and her boy…girlfriend making out?"

I cringed and took one of the filled plastic cups from him to take a sip from my coke.

"Yuck, what in heaven's name is this supposed to be?"

He grinned and leaned over to whisper into my ear.

"That's whisky. Isn't that cool, baby? Derek managed to steal some from his father's supply."

"Hmm,"

Hesitantly I took another sip and realized that it still tasted like crap.

"I don't think I like it that much." I mumbled, sitting down on his lap in a corner of the room.

"You look so pretty tonight, baby." he murmured while his tongue swirled over the shell of my ear. What the point is in this slobbering on my ear thing is beyond me but I let him do it because he obviously seems to like it a great deal.

His hands moved down my spine until his fingertips reached the roundness of my ass and I quickly stood up from his lap again.

"Stop that ass fumbling. I can't stand that."

"Oh baby, don't be like that and come back. I promise not to touch your backside again if it makes you feel uncomfortable."

The coke with the whisky wasn't really having a good effect on my empty stomach and I felt my knees starting to tremble slightly.

"Are you feeling dizzy?" Alec asked me worriedly, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

"A bit," I whispered while he led me to a small room at the other side of the apartment to make me sit down on the edge of a small bed.

"Maybe you should lie down for a few minutes."

I leaned back against some scratchy pillows and closed my eyes for a moment.

He kissed me again and I caressed his short cropped hair with my fingertips.

"Lilly, I love you." he mumbled, cuddling against my side so that I could feel him getting hard against my hipbone.

"Baby, I want you so much. Please don't make me wait any longer."

With that he rolled on top of me and started grinding his lower body against mine. For a moment I was too shocked to speak and he obviously misinterpreted that as a silent agreement.

"Oh, yes baby…,"

He opened the buttons of my blouse and I grabbed his head when I felt him kissing the top of my breasts.

"No,"

"Don't be such a prude, Lilly. We've been dating for over three months now and you've left me high and dry the entire time. Please, baby, I want you…,"

I sighed deeply and tried to sit up again what was difficult with him still on top of me.

"Let me go."

"Oh baby, don't be mad at me now. I know how to make you feel good."

His hand moved between my legs and a shiver of fear went down my spine.

"Let me go, Alec. I'm not ready…,"

His mouth was on mine before I could finish the sentence and the next thing I heard was him fumbling around on his belt.

"No,"

"Oh come on, baby, try to relax a bit. You're going to enjoy this as much as me."

"No, Alec. I don't want this. Please let me go."

"If you truly loved me you'd let me do it."

"Fine, so that means I don't love you. Now let me go before I start screaming."

"You stupid bitch, who the hell do you think you are?"

Suddenly his body was shoved off of mine and I rolled into a ball while tears started falling down my cheeks.

My entire body started trembling and I couldn't manage to calm myself down again no matter how hard I tried.

Then I felt a dainty hand on my quivering shoulder and raised my head again to blink into Jane's angry face.

"Everything is going to be okay, Lilly. I won't let him hurt you." she whispered into my ear while she started rubbing circles up and down my spine.

"Piss off, Jane. This is none of your damn business."

"Don't tell me, what's my business, you little piece of shit. The only reason why I'm not going to kill you now is because it would probably upset our mother. But if you ever dare to put one of your filthy fingers on Lilly again, I'm going to cut off your two inch dick and shove it up your ass."

XXXX

"Are you feeling a bit better now?" she asked me when she parked the car in front of a drive thru.

I nodded my head and sighed deeply taking a small sip from the milkshake she had ordered for me.

It's chocolate and after all the fruit and veggie crap I forced myself to eat in the last week the sweet taste of chocolate made me experience an almost orgasmic-like feeling on my tongue. Not that I have any clue how an actual orgasm feels like and it doesn't look like I'm going to learn about that any time soon.

Fucking asshole…

"Lilly?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you feeling a bit better now? You're still so pale."

"Yes, I'm good. Can you bring me home now? You probably want to go back to the party anyway."

"I don't give a shit about the stupid party."

"What about your girlfriend?" I asked her, checking my reflection in the review mirror. God, I looked horrible. My entire makeup was smeared around my eyes.

"Ex-girlfriend and just for the record, I don't give a shit about her too."

"You…she…the two of you broke off?"

"Yes, we did."

"I'm sorry to hear that." I mumbled, knowing that my voice probably not sounded that sorry at all.

"Don't have to be. Trish and me that was never meant to be; she's the most boring person ever and then this stupid issue that she has with eating. No carbs after four p.m. What kind of bullshit is that supposed to be?"

"At least she's skinny. If I had a tiny bit more discipline...,"

"You don't need to lose weight, you're pretty the way you are."

I shook my head and sighed deeply.

"Did my brother tell you that you should diet?"

"No, he didn't. I don't need him to tell me that I'm fat."

"Lilly, stop saying stuff like that, what you call fat are curves that a lot of other women would kill for."

"I don't think so."

"Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you? You're pretty, you're smart and you got no reason to have any complexes."

I turned my head to the side and wiped away a few tears from the corner of my eyes.

"Are you crying now?" her voice sounded horrified.

"N…o…,"

"Shhh, come here, gioia."

She pulled me closer and started caressing my hair with her fingertips.

"Your hair is so beautiful. It feels like silk."

"And looks like carrots."

"I'm getting you a book for your sixteenth birthday next month; compliments and acceptable ways of reacting to them."

I laughed and that sound coming from my own mouth surprised me so much that I almost choked on my milkshake.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too, Lilly. More than I can tell you."

"If you did, you had a rather strange way of showing it. God, you didn't even talk to me in the last months."

"I'm sorry about that. It was stupid and childish of me. It's not your fault that you don't feel…,"

She stopped abruptly and leaned forward to search for something in her handbag.

"Here, I've found this the other day and wanted to show it to you."

I took the wrinkled Polaroid picture from her and looked down at the two tiny girls with the Halloween costumes, me with the inevitable princess tiara and Jane with a black hat and a cape trying to look like an evil little witch.

"Cute. Life was a lot easier back then."

"Yes it was."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can."

"Were you really in love with Trish?"

"Were you in love with my stupid brother?"

"I don't know." I whispered, staring down on the tattoo on my wrist.

"I do. I wasn't in love with her. She's just…well, I shouldn't say something like that but she was just a makeshift for me because…,"

"Because what?"

"Because the girl I really wanted to be with is off limits."

"It's not Zafrina is it?"

"Mrs. Whitlock? What makes you think that? She's like…forty or something like that. It would be totally gross. I'm just working at her office because I think it's a good preparation for law school."

"Hmm,"

"Is it someone from our school?" I asked her, twisting my hair into a messy knot at the back of my head.

"Yes it is. Are you finished with your questioning?"

"Why won't you tell me who it is? You know that I'm good at keeping secrets."

She took my hand in hers and caressed the delicate pink flower on my wrist with her fingertips.

"Did that hurt much?"

"Not really. The tantrum my mother made when she discovered it was worse."

"I can imagine that."

Her mouth twitched into a smile when she reached out her hand and wiped a tiny rest of the milkshake from the edge of my lower lip.

When her fingertip brushed against my skin a pleasant tingly feeling spread through my body, making me gasp for air in surprise.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have…it's just – "

She took a deep breath and cleared her throat nervously before she spoke up again.

"It's you. It always has been you and always will be. No matter if you'll ever return my feelings for you. I love you. God, I think that I already started loving you when you were still a little girl with braids."

My mouth is on hers before I have any time to think and maybe that's a good thing. Thinking has no room in this. Thinking is not supposed to have room in this.

Her lips started moving with mine, hesitantly at first, as if she's still trying to figure out if this was really happening and then suddenly she pulled me closer against her until I was almost sitting on her lap.

The tip of her tongue swirled over my lower lip until I parted my mouth a little and she gently nudged it against my mine.

Kissing her is nothing like kissing her brother. Jane isn't impatiently trying to shove her tongue into my mouth as deep as possible. She's so tender and her mouth feels so incredibly soft, so soft.

When she pulled back a few moments later I instantly wanted to kiss her again…and again…and again, until my lips were all red and swollen.

"Lilly, you don't have to do this."

"I know, but I want to."

I kissed her a second time, caressing the inside of her mouth with the tip of my tongue this time. She tasted sweet and a bit of those delicious almond cookies from her father's restaurant.

Most of all she tasted like Jane and with that I'm embracing all that the two of us were and all that we are going to be for each other once I'll manage to pull back from this kiss.

And I'm in love.