Hook… I Will Always Find You

Chapter Three

After Archie arrived at his office with Pongo, he walked in and then over to his desk to turn on the lamp light. Night had fallen in Storybrooke as it had in Camelot, so the room was pitch black when he entered. But once he was able to see again, he slowly looked around until his eyes sadly stopped on a spot on his couch… the same spot where Hook sat the last time he had come to talk with him a few weeks ago so he could ask Archie if he would be sure to tell Emma just how much he loved her in case anything happened to him like Killian feared was about to.

The psychiatrist turned his head and started to put away some of the paperwork he had left out before joining the others on their trip to try to save their friend, until he quit when his thoughts kept falling back to that night. Finally, Archie walked over and apprehensively sat down in the space beside the Captain's place on the couch, then allowed his mind to wander back to his last session with Killian knowing that the memory would come to him again whether he wanted it to or not.

A few weeks ago, while Emma was out of town with Regina to find Lily and to save Robin…

Archie stood at his desk as he finished gathering his things together to go home for the night, when a knock unexpectedly sounded at the door. When whoever it was didn't knock a second time or enter right away, the doctor walked over and opened it to find out who was coming to see him after his normal hours. Much to his surprise, Hook was standing there, only he had already begun to turn away to leave before Archie could answer until the door was opened to him.

He looked at his friend as Killian turned back around to face him, then spoke up with concern in his voice saying, "Good evening, Killian. You're here awfully late. And you look exhausted… like you haven't slept in weeks. Is everything alright?"

The pirate captain cleared his throat nervously when Archie stepped aside to allow for Killian to walk past him so he could enter, then did so while he responded, "Says the cricket who is still here himself."

"Fair point…" Archie replied and closed the door again, then he turned around to face Hook, who remained standing beside the umbrella rack in the corner of the room until the psychiatrist also motioned for him to have a seat on the couch so they could talk more comfortably. "But you didn't actually answer my question. Are you doing alright?"

"I suppose I wouldn't be here at this hour if I were," Killian reluctantly answered and then finally sat down like Archie requested for him to do. "I'm sorry for coming here so late. If you're leaving, I can go."

The doctor smiled and shook his head, then sat down next to his friend while he responded, "It's all right… really. It's like you said, I'm still here myself. What can I help you with?"

Hook looked down at his hand as he thought for a moment and replied, "I'm not really sure where to begin. It's complicated. And the truth is… I'm not sure if there's a real reason I should be concerned, or if it's all in my head and I'm worried over nothing."

"Well, what's troubling you?" Archie questioned him again. "I'm guessing that whatever it is, it's been bothering you for some time, or you wouldn't be here."

"Aye," Killian answered quietly. "I can't help but worry… about Emma and her losing her heart to the darkness that Gold is trying very hard to put there. I know how it feels and believe me, it's an incredibly difficult hole to claw your way back out from. However, I also fear something even worse is coming. Something… something other than what Gold has planned for us all. I'm not sure why, but I can't seem to shake this feeling and the truth is… I'm scared. For Emma… for her parents and son… But also about myself to be perfectly honest. I'm afraid that if I lose Emma too… the way I lost Milah to Rumplestiltskin as well… then I'll fall back into the darkness I've fought so hard to break away from. If I do, I will never be able to push it away again. Certainly not without Emma. It took centuries for me to do so this time. I don't want to become that man again, but I know myself and I'm weak."

When he finished, the man of conscience looked into his friend's eyes while he responded, "You're hardly weak, Killian. I mean… just think about all that you've accomplished. You've changed from the man you were when you first came here. You're a good man… a hero. Not a villain. And you're also a good friend. To me that is, as well as to pretty much everyone in this town. I'm sure that everyone else would say the same thing too. Your biggest struggle is your fear of your own self and believe me, I understand a little of what that feels like. Tell me why you're so afraid that something terrible is coming. Have you been having dreams, or nightmares? Is it a feeling, or do you think perhaps it's just your fear trying to tear you down?"

The Captain looked away again as he stated, "I don't know. It could be any of those things, or perhaps it's just… instinct. That's why I'm here. I was hoping you might be able to tell me. But whatever it is, it's getting worse. Every day. And if there's one thing that I do know for sure, it's that if there's a way I can stop it… to protect Emma from it… I'll find it. I would give my life for her."

"For all of us, I suspect," Archie despondently replied. "I believe you would. Another quality in you that shows just how much you've really changed. I pray it never comes to that."

"If it does… in case should something happen to me, Archie… I need you to do me a favor," Killian then answered more sternly. "I need you to promise me you will tell Emma how much I love her. Remind her for me. I've loved her since our first kiss in Neverland, if not before then. I knew there was something special about her from the moment I first laid my eyes on her in the Enchanted Forest, fighting on the opposite side. I regret I couldn't let go of my damn pride sooner, but I'm who I am now because of her. I need her to understand that and to always remember it, in case I can't be here to tell her so myself."

The doctor continued to look at the pirate still sitting beside him and then he responded again, "I promise. I promise, but it won't ever come to that. Everything's going to be okay because you, Emma, and everyone else… you will defeat whatever Gold has planned and any other villains who might come after all this is over to try to destroy us. That's just what heroes do, Killian. It's what you do."

Hook turned back to the cricket and smiled, then in sincerity he replied, "I appreciate that you see more in me than I'll ever be able to see in myself. Thank you, Dr. Hopper. You're a good man. And you're very good at what you do."

When the memory ended again…

Archie finally turned away from the spot on the couch he'd been staring at for however long his mind had drifted off into his thoughts, as he lifted his hand up to his face and pulled off his glasses in order to wipe away the tears clouding his eyes before they could fall, but as he did so, a knock suddenly sounded at the door much to his surprise and he rose back to his feet, then walked over to open it up.

"Emma?" he uttered upon seeing the Savior standing there with Killian's sword in her hands. "I'm surprised, but… Please, come in and have a seat."

"Thank you, Archie," she answered quietly, then walked inside while the doctor closed the door again behind her.