Thanks for all the reviews on Chapter 9! I really enjoyed reading them. Ballad is one of my favorite Season 1 episodes, despite the lack of Finchel, because I just love Furt! So it was great to write so much Furt in this chapter :) I didn't want to make this chapter too long, so I did cut some things. (Finn and Rachel both had pretty big parts in this episode, so I did have to make some cuts.) I extended several scenes (in particular Furt and Finn/ Carole scenes) from the show and added in a Finchel scene. Hope you guys enjoy and review if I should keep this going!
Chapter 10: Ballad
At the beginning of Glee practice, Mr. Schue wrote "Ballad" on the board. "Ballad. From Middle English, balade. Who knows what this word means?"
Rachel raised her hands, but Mr. Schue called on Kurt. "A ballad is a love song."
"Sometimes, but they don't always express love," said Mr. Schue. "Ballads are stories set to music, which is why they're the perfect storm of self-expression. Stories and music are the way we express feelings that we can't get out any other way. Okay, now, sectionals are in a few weeks and there's a new rule this year: we have to perform... a ballad."
Rachel was so excited. She loved ballads. They were probably her favorite types of songs to sing. "Looks like my weekly letter to the Ohio Show Choir Committee finally paid off!"
"Okay," Mr. Schue said. "So here's our assignment for the week: I'm going to pair you off, and I want you to pick a ballad to sing to your partner. Look them right in the eye, find the emotion you want to express, and make them feel it."
"I pick Quinn," Finn said.
That was not okay! Rachel wanted to be Finn's partner. She had so many great songs in mind for them to sing together and to each other. Luckily, Mr. Schue didn't support the Finn/ Quinn partnership, either. "No, no, no. Too easy. Your partners will be chosen by fate. I put all your names in this hat. Whoever you choose is your partner."
"But Matt's out sick today," Santana said. "He had to go to the hospital, 'cause they found a spider in his ear."
"I guess I'll just have to put my name in the hat for now," Mr. Schue said. "Who's up first?"
Puck went up first and took Mercedes's name out of the hat. Then Artie went and drew Quinn's. Finn went up next, and Rachel crossed her fingers, hoping he'd choose her. Then she heard the name Finn read. "Kurt."
At least it wasn't a girl. "Mr. Schue, I don't know if I can do this with another guy," Finn said. Maybe he'd redraw Rachel's name!
"The fates have spoken, Finn," Mr. Schue said. Tina took Mike's name out and Santana took Brittany's. That left Rachel with Mr. Schuester.
"Maybe we should just wait until Matt gets back," Mr. Schue said.
Finn could tell Mr. Schue didn't like the idea of singing with Rachel, but he decided to say what Mr. Schue said to him. "The fates talked, Mr. Schue."
"Would you mind clarifying what kinds of songs you want us to sing?" Artie asked.
"Why don't you let Mr. Schuester and I demonstrate," Rachel said. "Brad, Endless Love in B-flat, please. It's my favorite duet."
Mr. Schue made a face. "I really don't think that's an appropriate song, Rachel."
"Why?" Rachel asked. "It's a great song, and it's a perfect ballad."
Finn wished he could be the one to sing this song with Rachel. "Yeah. I really like that song, Mr. Schue."
As Rachel and Mr. Schue sang, Finn noticed something he hadn't noticed before. Rachel had a really hot ass. Then he noticed Quinn giving him a look. She knew Finn was looking at it.
x
Singing with Mr. Schuester had helped Rachel see him in a new way. She always thought he didn't like her very much, but he was a really talented singer, and she had to admit, he was handsome. This week was going to be fun. Instead of having regular practice, they'd be meeting one on one with their partners. Rachel had gotten a little something for Mr. Schue as well. "I just wanted to confirm that we're set to rehearse our ballad at 4:00 sharp this afternoon," Rachel said as she left Spanish class.
"Oh. Isn't Matt back yet?" Mr. Schue asked.
Rachel hadn't even talked to Matt much. How would she be able to sing a ballad with him? "No, it's just you and me, all week long."
"Great," Mr. Schue said. "I'll see you at 4. Is there something else?"
How did he know? Rachel handed him the box. "I just wanted to give you this. Open it." She smiled when Mr. Schue opened it, revealing the tie she got him. "Gold stars are kind of my signature thing. I figure every time you wear it, you can think of me and the star you're helping me become."
x
Finn had to admit, he didn't know how he was supposed to do a ballad with Kurt. Kurt was nice and Finn really liked him, but wasn't a ballad kind of a boy/ girl thing? He just wished he'd pulled out Rachel's name.
"You're late," Kurt said as Finn came into the auditorium.
Finn sighed. "Sorry, Kurt. I've just got a lot on my mind."
"Sing to me everything you feel," Kurt said.
"Okay," Finn opened his mouth, but nothing came out. "Uh... I can't. I can't. I can't sing to a dude."
"You have to try," Kurt said.
Finn felt everything coming out at once. "I can't, okay! I can't! I'm sick and tired of people pushing me to be somebody I'm not."
"Your lashing out at me is fantastically compelling and inappropriate," Kurt said.
Finn realized he might have hurt Kurt. "Dude, I'm sorry. You're really awesome, Kurt. I'm just under a load of crap right now."
"Girls," Kurt said. "They're your problem. They're up, they're down. Girls."
Finn could talk to Kurt. Rachel would feel bad if Finn tried to talk to her about the baby and his complete lack of power in the situation. Puck clearly wished it was his. Quinn yelled at him whenever he tried to have a say. He just couldn't tell his mom. But Kurt - Finn had a feeling he could talk to him. "It's the baby. She's my daughter, and there's so many things I want to say to her, and I'm never going to be able to."
"Like what?" Kurt asked. He gave Finn an understanding look, and Finn felt so relieved.
He could talk more. "Well, like how I don't want her to think that her father just abandoned her. How I would do anything for her. How, no matter what I do, I'm always thinking about her. How I'm going to spend my whole life loving her, and she's never even going to know." He knew this baby was going to think of whoever ended up adopting her as her father, but he was the one who helped make her. Right?
"You got to let it out," Kurt said.
"How?" Kurt asked.
"By singing. I'll Stand By You by the Pretenders," Kurt suggested. "It's in your wheelhouse, and I know you know it from the radio because it's a classic. And you do well with the classics, especially in the soft rock mode."
"Yeah, I do like that song, but how is it going to make me feel better again?" Finn asked.
"By singing it out," Kurt said. "To the audience. Imagine your little girl sitting there." He pointed at the front row of the auditorium, then sat down at the piano. "Thank God I never missed a piano lesson."
Kurt began to play the piano, and Finn began to sing.
Finn: Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'Cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less
I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
So if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
Don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'Cause even if you're wrong
I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
And when...
When the night falls on you, baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own
I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
"So, how did that go?" Kurt asked at the end of the song.
"I feel better," Finn said.
"I thought you would," Kurt said. "You know, that's one of the songs I'd listen to if I had a bad day. Like if I got thrown in the dumpster too many times or got too many slushies or something."
Finn felt bad. Why hadn't he told the other boys from the football team to stop? "Well, think of it as being for you too."
"Really?" Kurt asked with a big smile. "Thanks!"
Finn patted Kurt's shoulder. "No problem." It hadn't just been for the baby. It had been for Rachel, too. No matter what, no matter who they were with, he was always going to be there for her. "So, what song do you want to do?" Finn asked Kurt.
"Let's focus on you right now," Kurt said. "You're having a much harder time."
"Thanks," Finn said. Then suddenly he remembered. He had to have dinner at Quinn's in a few days. "Hey Kurt, could you maybe come to my house tomorrow? I have to have dinner at Quinn's soon... and I'm bad at picking out things to wear."
"You know clothes are my specialty!" Kurt said.
x
It had felt so good to talk to someone about his feelings. Finn didn't know how much he'd needed that. After school, he put the DVD in his laptop and began singing again. Then suddenly, he saw his mom coming into his room. Oh no. He thought she was at work...
"Finn, what's going on? What are you doing?" Carole asked.
Finn's heart skipped a beat. "Uh, nothing."
His mom sat next to him. "Were you just singing to a sonogram?"
Finn nodded. "Uh-huh."
Carole gave him a shocked look. "Is Quinn pregnant?"
Finn burst into tears and collapsed in his mom's arms. "Mom. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I screwed up. I'm so sorry."
"Shh, shh," Carole said. "It's going to be okay."
Finn wiped his tears and looked up at his mom. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."
"I understand," Carole said. "You're scared. I was pretty young when I had you."
"Mom, Quinn's not letting me have a say in any of this!" Finn said. "Every time I suggest something, she yells at me."
"So I'm guessing she wants to give the baby up for adoption?" Carole asked.
Finn nodded. "Yeah. Mom, I... I do love my baby. I love her. But I'm not ready to be a dad. It'll be hard... and Mom, I don't know if Quinn's the right one for me. Before I found out about this, I was planning on breaking up with her."
"I'm so sorry, honey," Carole said. "You're going to be okay."
"How do you know?" Finn asked.
"I thought I'd never be okay again after your dad died," Carole said. "But you helped me be okay. Finn, you'll always have a place in your heart for this baby, and maybe one day, you'll find a way to be part of her life. One day, when you've found the one and you're ready, you'll be a great dad. It's okay to be confused and not think you're ready now."
x
Finn did feel better after talking to his mom. She never made him feel bad about himself, maybe he should have told her sooner. However, he would feel bad if he didn't tell Quinn he told his mom. The next day at school, he went up to her. "Babe, I told my mom and I feel so much better. You should probably tell yours."
Quinn looked horrified. "I can't believe your told your mom. What if she tells my mom?"
Finn wasn't sure if his mom and Quinn's mom had ever met. "No, she's not."
Quinn continued lecturing Finn. "Half the school knows. Your mom knows. Who else do you want to tell? Huh?"
"But she's not going to tell anybody," Finn protested.
"You're wrong, I'm right," Quinn snapped. "I'm smart, you're dumb."
Finn was reminded of why he wanted to break up with Quinn. "She doesn't talk to other moms." But it was too late. Quinn was walking away.
Kurt came up to Finn. "How do you explain her constant irritation with you? It's because she's a girl."
Finn shook his head. It was because she was Quinn. "No, I think it's the pregnancy hormones or something. They make her kind of nuts."
Kurt smirked. "It's enough to want to give up women altogether."
Finn didn't want to give up women. "Yeah. Anyway, thanks for the advice about singing to the baby like that. Uh, worked like a charm. I owe you one, dude."
x
That afternoon, Finn's mom was at work, so Finn and Kurt were in the basement, going through Finn's dad's old clothes, trying to find something for Finn to wear to dinner at Quinn's house. "Thanks for coming over, Kurt," Finn said. "I know you're into fashion and that kind of stuff. And I need to find something nice to wear to the Fabrays' for dinner, so..."
"I couldn't be more pleased and honored to help you find something vintage and appropriate to wear," Kurt said.
Finn pulled out the box. "Here it is. My mom never had the heart to throw this stuff out."
"My dad's the same way," Kurt said. "My mom died ten years ago, and he still keeps her toothbrush on the holder by their sink. The broken dresser in their room still smells like her perfume. I know it's stupid, but sometimes I'll sneak in there and open all the drawers and lie on the floor and close my eyes and just smell her."
Finn felt so bad for Kurt. At least he didn't have time to get to know his dad and miss him. "That's not stupid. I guess in a way, I'm lucky I never knew him, you know?" He pulled out some nice clothes. "Check this out."
"Not half bad. Your father had good taste," Kurt said.
Finn pulled it on. "I can't believe it fits." He knew what he was going to have to do. "My father was brave enough to fight in some desert thousands of miles away, and I can't even go over to Dudley Road and tell the Fabrays the truth."
"Your father didn't charge into the breach empty-handed. He had a weapon," Kurt said.
"You think I should bring a gun?" Finn asked.
"No, I think you should use your greatest weapon— your voice," Kurt said.
"Maybe that's not a bad idea," Finn said. "Will you help me pick a song to tell them with?"
"Of course," Kurt told Finn.
x
Mr. Schuester had sang another song to Rachel and she'd been so turned on. Why hadn't she noticed earlier how cute he was? She'd overheard his conversations with Miss Pillsbury around the school. She knew he was having marriage troubles. So why shouldn't she help out?
Rachel went to his apartment and rang the doorbell. Mrs. Schuester came to the door. "Hi," Mrs. Schuester said. "You're Rachel, right?"
"Yes," Rachel said. "I've noticed your husband's stressed, and I was wondering if you guys could use some help." Really, she just wanted in their house.
"I'd love that," Mrs. Schuester said. "Can you make dinner?"
"Of course," Rachel said. "Can you show me his baby pictures?"
"Maybe after you do some more housework," Mrs. Schuester said. "After you make dinner, could you clean the bathroom?"
"Yeah," Rachel said. She chatted with Mrs. Schuester as she made dinner. Then Mr. Schuester got home.
"Hey, sweetie, I'm home. Something smells good," Rachel heard him call. She snuck up behind him and gave him what she'd been making. "Oh, thanks."
"You're welcome," Rachel said. "Casserole's almost ready. Hope you like venison." Then she went to clean the bathroom.
After a few minutes of cleaning, Mr. Schue came in. "Rachel, you shouldn't be here. I've got to take you home."
"Did I do something wrong?" Rachel asked.
"You shouldn't be here," Mr. Schue said. "Let's get to your house." He led Rachel to his car and put her in the back seat. Rachel began thinking: why had she begun falling for Mr. Schue in the first place? He wasn't in her age group and he was married...
x
"The Fabrays are a tight-knit family," Quinn's dad said. Finn was sitting at their house for dinner. He'd made up his mind - tonight, he was going to say something. He felt better after telling his mom. Maybe Quinn would feel better after her parents knew too. Either way, they needed to know. "I have been blessed with a loving wife, two remarkable daughters. My first married a wonderful Christian man who owns his own chain of UPS stores. My second daughter, little Quinnie, we are just so proud of her. Captain of the Cheerios. President of the Celibacy Club. I got a little peek at the dress. I'm certain she's a shoo-in for princess of the chastity ball. But tonight we are very glad to welcome her new friend— quarterback, no less."
Finn couldn't hold in his nerves anymore. "I have to go to the bathroom. Uh... Too much pop."
"Oh, wait, it's right through the kitchen, sweetheart," Quinn's mom said. Finn ran into the bathroom and dialed Kurt's number.
"Well, hello, Finn Hudson," Kurt said.
"I'm at the Fabrays and I'm freaking out," Finn said. "What does a heart attack feel like?"
"Settle down, cowboy. This is why we burned the disc and spent all that time rehearsing," Kurt said calmly.
How could Kurt be so calm? "I can't do it."
"Yes, you can. Just remember the power of the ballad," Kurt said.
Finn couldn't stay here too long. "I have to go; they'll think I'm pooping." He looked in the mirror, trying to tell himself he could do this, before he went back to the dining room, grabbing a radio on the way there.
"That's my kitchen radio," Quinn's mom said.
"Yeah, I need to borrow it," Finn said.
"Finn, what's this?" Quinn asked.
"Well, we have this assignment in Glee Club to sing a ballad," Finn explained. "They're all about expressing the things you can't find any other way to say."
Quinn seemed to know what was happening. "Oh, God, Finn, don't. Please don't."
"No, I need to do this for both of us," Finn said, turning on the radio and beginning to sing.
Finn: You're havin' my baby
What a lovely way of sayin'
How much you love me
You're havin' my baby
What a lovely way of sayin'
What you're thinkin' of me
I can see it, your face is glowing
I can see it in your eyes
I'm happy you know it
That you're havin' my baby
You're the woman I love
And I love what it's doin' to ya
You're havin' my baby
You're a woman in love
And I love what's goin' through ya
The need inside you
I see it showin'
Whoa, the seed inside you
Quinn's dad turned off the radio and gave Finn a dirty look. "You got my daughter pregnant?"
Finn gulped. "I'm sorry."
"Let's go to the living room," Quinn's dad said.
"There must be some sort of mistake here," Quinn's mom said when they were in the living room. "Quinnie, we raised you right."
"You did," Finn said, feeling terrified. "We didn't even have sex."
"Can we just stop with the lying, please?" Quinn's mom snapped.
Quinn's dad looked at his daughter. "When you were about five years old, I took you and your sister down to an Indians game. All the other dads brought their sons, but my two girls were enough for me. Your sister made it through the whole game, but you fell asleep in my lap. I kept hoping nothing exciting would happen, 'cause I didn't want the crowd to get too loud and wake you up. Didn't matter. You stayed asleep in my arms till the game ended."
Quinn started crying. "Daddy, I'm so sorry."
Quinn's dad turned to Finn. "You need to leave." Finn was uncomfortable, but he didn't want Quinn to have to go through this alone.
"Wait. Please, Daddy can we talk about this? Finn is a good guy. He loves me," Quinn sobbed.
"You, too. Get out of my house," Quinn's dad said to his daughter.
What was he doing? He couldn't do that to his own daughter! "She can't do that. She didn't do anything wrong. Please, Mrs. Fabray, do something."
"Don't bother, Finn," Quinn said. "If she wanted to do something, she would've when she found out that I was pregnant."
Quinn's dad turned to his wife. "You knew?"
"She didn't tell me anything," Mrs. Fabray said.
"But you knew," Quinn said. "And I needed you. I needed my mom. And you were so scared of what he would do if he found out you just pushed it aside like we do every bad feeling in this house. If you don't talk about it, it doesn't exist."
"Now do not turn this on us! You are the disappointment here!" Quinn's dad snapped.
"Why? Because I'm not a little girl anymore? Because I made a mistake?" Quinn asked.
"Who are you? I don't recognize you at all," Quinn's dad said. What was he doing? This was no way to treat anyone! Finn wished there was something he could do, but he felt so powerless.
"I'm your daughter. Who loves you. And who knows this must be really hard for you, but I just need my daddy to hold me, and tell me that it's going to be okay. Please," Quinn pleaded.
"You have 30 minutes to get all your stuff out of here," Quinn's dad said.
"You can't do that!" Finn finally managed to say.
"Well, you're the one who did what you can't do!" Quinn's dad said.
Quinn turned to Finn. "What am I going to do?"
"I'm sure they'll get over it," Finn said. "In a few days I bet they'll realize what they did was so wrong and let you move back in. Why don't you just stay with me for a few days?"
"Thanks," Quinn said. They spent half an hour packing before going to Finn's house. He felt somewhat better when his mom said she could stay there.
x
After her talk with Suzy Pepper, Rachel realized how wrong she'd been acting with Mr. Schue. Her talk with Mr. Schue had helped her realize something too. She thought she had met that boy. Finn. He'd been the one person who seemed to like everything about her, even the things she wanted to change. He wasn't at school today, so she decided to give him a call. She smiled when he picked up after the first ring. "Hey Rach!"
"Hey Finn," Rachel said. "How are you?"
"Not so good," Finn sighed. "Quinn's parents found out and they kicked her out."
"What?" Rachel asked. That was horrible! Who did that to their child?
"Yeah," Finn said. "She's at my house now. I just... I don't know what to do."
Rachel's heart broke. Was there any hope for her and Finn? Not only was Quinn having his baby, she was living with him now! Was she that much of a hopeless romantic?
"Rachel, you still there?" Finn asked.
Rachel hadn't realized she hadn't said anything. "Yeah, I'm still here. I'm so sorry. This must be so hard."
"It is," Finn said.
"I'm really sorry," Rachel said. "I just wish there was something I could do."
"If I think of anything I'll let you know, okay?" Finn said. "You're a really great friend."
"Thanks, you are too," Rachel said. She hung up the phone and started crying. It looked like friends was all they were ever going to be.
x
Finn went back to school the next day. He and Kurt decided to spend the lunch hour working on their ballad to make up for lost time. However, they were mostly just talking.
"So they just kicked her out?" Kurt asked.
"Yeah. Gave her half an hour to pack. Father set the timer on the microwave," Finn said. The memories of that night gave him shivers.
"I'm sorry. I guess my plan kind of sucked," Kurt sighed.
"No, uh, this is good. No more secrets. You know, everything's out there— all the feelings. And that's better, right?" Finn asked. He wasn't sure, but he hoped so.
"Yes. Better," Kurt agreed.
Finn smiled. "Good. All right, well, uh, let's work on your ballad. You were really helpful when I was trying to find mine. So what is it?"
"I Honestly Love You," Kurt said.
Finn didn't know that song. "Sounds awesome. I don't know the song, or whatever, but it sounds positive and nice and stuff."
Mercedes came in. "Hey, you two. We need to go to the choir room."
"Why?" Finn asked.
"Because there's something we want to give you and Quinn," Kurt said.
Kurt and Mercedes led Finn to the choir room, where Quinn was sitting down and everyone else was standing at the front. Finn sat next to Quinn, who also had no idea what was going on.
"Your fellow Glee Club members want to sing a song for you guys to let you know how they feel about you," Mr. Schue said.
"What are you going to sing?" Finn asked.
Rachel gave Finn one of her perfect smiles. "Just listen. The song says everything."
New Directions: Hum
hum-hum-hum-hum
Hum-hum-hum-hum
Hum-hum-hum-hum
Artie: Hold on
Sometimes in our lives
We all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow
New Directions: Lean on me
When you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on
Just lean on me
Call on your brother
When you need a friend
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem
That you'll understand
We all need somebody to lean on
Lean on me
Artie: Oh, oh if there is a load
New Directions: There's a load
Artie: You have to face
New Directions: You have to face
Artie That you can't carry
I am right up the road
I'll share your load
New Directions: If you just call me
Call me
I'm calling
Artie: Call me
Mercedes: When you need a friend
Artie: Call me
New Directions: Call me
Call me
Call me
When you need a friend
Call me
Any time of day
Call me
Mercedes: Ooh, it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
Lean on, lean on me
Lean on, lean on
Lean on me
New Directions: Lean on me
Lean on, lean on
Hey, hey, hey
Lean on me
You can lean on me
I'm gonna need somebody to lean on
Gonna need somebody to lean on
At the end of the song, Finn felt so loved by his friends. He noticed Rachel, with the look of support on her face, and gave her a big hug. "You can always lean on me," Rachel said.
"You're amazing," Finn whispered. This would be tough, but he knew he wasn't alone.
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