Negan is insufferable, he is a god damn monster, why in the fuck did you leave Deacon with him? Your mind screamed as you walked through the door of your room, Simon following only a step behind you. Your mind was scolding you on a loop, like an old broken record. The rational, reasonable person part of your brain knew that Negan would never hurt your son, but that emotional part of your mind. That part that drove all the decisions that had served you and your child well to that point was livid with your rash choice. He just had his hands wrapped around Simon's neck… He was literally choking the life out of the man that you happen to be fucking at the moment… and you thought it was a brilliant idea to leave your precious, innocent child in his fucking care!
You were so lost in your thoughts when Simon reached out and touched your arm you jumped. The simple, gentle touch sent a wave of rage through your body as you swatted away his hand. It was not until you looked up and saw Simon's hurt and shocked expression did you realize what you did. "Oh shit, Simon… I didn't.." You stammered as you reached out and took his hand.
Simon gave you a half smile and little nod. "No, I understand… Negan…" He started but stopped when you started shaking your head. Negan was consuming enough of your mind that the last thing you wanted to do was to have Simon only continue the discussion. He reached out cupped your cheek. "Listen, I hate the idea of leaving you right now… but he is only going to ride my ass harder if I don't get to work." You let out a little groan. You didn't want to be alone any more than he wanted to leave you. Simon pulled you into a tight hug and kissed the top of your head. "It's quick day," He started as you gazed up at him. "We are just prepping for a run to the Hilltop tomorrow… just a few hours and I'll be back." His hands smooth your long dark hair as he leans down and places as sweet kiss on your lips.
Turning away from him, your hand lingering in his as you looked around the room uncomfortably. "What the hell am I going to do Simon?" You exclaimed completely at a loss of how to spend your day. "I have been working or minding Deacon for two years…" You started, your voice shaking as this sudden loss of purpose washed over you. Simon let out a little chuckle as his hand slipped from yours as he started to move towards the door.
"Well, a nap may be a good place to start sweetheart." Simon suggested as his hand gripped the door knob. He paused and turned back for a moment. "I'll come back here when I am done for the day, if you want…" You nod from the middle of the room with small smirk playing on your lips as Simon turns to leave with a smirk of his own playing on his lips.
Simon's advice was sound enough, the last nap you remembered taking was the day that Deacon was born. Though you had only been up for a few hours, the day was already wearing on you where you felt that perhaps taking that nap sooner rather than later was a good idea. As you walked into the small side room where your bedroom was, you pushed your long skirt down and let it crumple to heap on the floor as you lifted your shirt off over your head. Letting out a long heavy sigh you ran your hands over your bare skin trying to settle your mind for a moment before you crawled into bed and under the light blanket. As you nestled yourself into your pillow you couldn't help but stare at spot where Simon has slept.
His pillow was just inches from your head. You reached up and pulled it into your arms. It still smelled faintly of him. That unique smell of alcohol, soap and something you couldn't quite put your finger on. It was just Simon. The simple lingering smell of him made you smile softly and feel oddly safe. That feeling of safety allowed sleep to come far easier than you had expected just as it had the night before.
How long you were asleep you were not quite sure, but you could have slept for hours more if you hadn't been awaken by the sound of a familiar cry and feverish pounding on your door. Half asleep you rolled out of bed and searched for your robe. Slipping it on quickly and tying it closed as you walked out of the bedroom you called. "I'm coming…"
It was only when you opened the door and saw Negan looking quite frazzled holding a screaming Deacon did you fully wake up. "Help… please…" Negan said in an uncharacteristically desperate tone as you reached out and took your son into you arms.
"What did you do to him?" You accuse sharply, you eyes narrowed in on Negan who was still standing in the door as you moved into the room trying to console your son.
Negan scoffed at your comment. He seemed genuinely offended at the implication that he was the source of his son's distress. "I didn't do fucking shit… he was fine.. we were playing then I got up for one second to go get a fucking drink and he loses his fucking mind!" Negan is frazzled, he obviously hadn't dealt with the glory that was a toddler of the age of 2.
You couldn't help but chuckle as you looked at Deacon who was finally starting to calm down. His head resting on your should and his little arms wrapped around your neck. "He is two years old Negan… he doesn't know how to process his emotions properly." You say trying to be calm in the moment but Negan still standing in the doorway make things both far too public for your liking and a bit like you were on two different sides. "Just come in.." You say as you set Deacon down in his crib and begin to take off his shoes and get him ready for a nap. You glance over your shoulder and watch Negan take a few steps in, still staying close to the door even though it was now shut. "He gets easily upset when he get tired… don't you bubba?" You turn back to Deacon who gave a large yawn and shook his head in protest. You simple nod at him in return as you set about getting him ready for his nap.
Negan takes another few steps towards you as you turn around to set Deacon's shoes on the floor before putting his dirty jeans and diaper in the laundry basket. "How was I supposed to know that?" Negan asked honestly and you couldn't help but roll your eyes at his stupid question.
You scoff as little as you start to close the gap between you and your ex husband. "Have you never been around children?" You ask earnestly. Negan huffs but doesn't answer. "Toddlers… particularly two and three year olds, can be trying because they are literally growing so fast and learning things so quickly… it's a lot for little brains to handle." You glance over at the crib and see Deacon start to settle down. "Lay down bubba.." You said softly before turning back to Negan. "It doesn't help that he obviously has your temper.." You note with a small laugh but Negan did not find your comment at all amusing as he stared back at you with a cold, dark look in his eyes.
Negan took a slow step towards you as he loomed over you, "So are you going to blame everything bad about him on me?" There was a part of you that wanted to say yes to his question, but as an act of self preservation you shook your head and cast your eyes to the floor.
Even after all these years Negan made you feel like less of a person when he loomed over you like this. He nearly had a foot on you in height. You drew in a sharp breath as you tried to muster some of that resolve that you had a few hours before and meet Negan's gaze once more. Pushing your shoulders back you stood tall and you jaw was clenched tight. You hands instinctively crossed in front of your chest and you cocked your head to side as you began to speak. "I just said he had your temper… stop trying to pick a fucking fight where there is none Negan…" The tension hung thick in the air that separated you and Negan. Both with equally stern glares painted across your faces.
Negan almost pushed into you has he tried to press the issue. "Well I'm not the fucking one trying to play the who takes the fucking blame game because if you want to start that game darling then let's fucking go." He almost growled as he finished his sentence and you drew in a sharp breathe as you place a hand on Negan's chest shoving him back. "Where were these fucking balls when you were my wife.." He chuckled darkly as he gripped your wrist yanking your hand away from his chest.
Your face contorts in anger and pain as his large hands grip your slender wrist with far more force than was necessary. You struggle for a moment before snatching your hand back and rubbing your wrist with your other hand. "I had balls back then too but you fucking broke me you son of bitch…" You snap forgetting that Deacon was only a few feet from you. "I actually fucking wanted to be with you… you saved me… from.." You stammer as the memories of the night that Negan took over the Sanctuary from the savages that ran the camp before. You take a deep breath as you look back up at Negan. "Do you even remember? Did you even know who I was when I came up and said I wanted to marry you like Frankie did…"
Negan's bottom lip trembled as he listened to you speak, remembering the events as if they had only happened days before. "I knew.." He mumbled and your breath caught as the words reached your ears.
For all these years you believed and Negan in many ways had led you to believe that he didn't remember that he had saved you from those wolves as Negan called them. In your small way you were the reason he was in power, you were the reason he had that damned baseball bat in the first place. It was never that you felt he owed you something, because he was the one saved you. A simple acknowledgement of your role as catalyst to the events would have been more than enough.
As you let a long sigh you tilted your head back fighting back the urge to cry. "Then why didn't you just fucking say something Negan?" you choke out, you voice shaking as you speak. Your hands tremble as you run them through you long messy hair. You take another long soothing breath trying so desperately to calm the urge to scream at him as you catch the sight of Deacon's little toes peeking out from under his blanket as he napped. "Why when we were together did you call me her name then?" You ask as bitterly as your eyes finally lock on Negan's face.
He was doing his best to hide the storm of emotions but those dark telling eyes hid nothing. He closed his eyes for a moment, his mouth down turned in a solemn, stern grimace. As if something was cutting at his very core. I struck a nerve. You note as you take a small step forward, your head swaying slightly with the movement as slightly cocky, half smirk played in the corners of your mouth. "Is it because I look like her?" You ask as you take another step noticing the muscles in Negan's neck twitch with your words I guess the answer is yes. You chuckle darkly as you take another step forward. "So when you were fucking me… all those times you came in my room, smelling like booze in the middle of the night mumbling about how you were fucking sorry and you love me, it wasn't for me…" Your jaw clenches as Negan takes a sharp breath in and his eyes open back up and is only able to look at you for more than a moment before casting his eyes to the floor once more.
Negan didn't need to answer your questions because that short glance, spoke volumes where his voice was silent. Your gaze was fixed on him, your eyes dark with years of pent up rage and pain that had built up over the years. "You never called the others her name…" Your voice is filled with malice, you could see Negan's expression harden as you pressed forward. "Just me… because that's what it all comes down to doesn't it…" Negan's eyes pop back open as your words cut him deep. "You only saved…you only married me… you only fucked me because I reminded you of Lucille…" You almost spit her name like poison from your lips.
Negan's hands clench into fists at the mention of his dead wife's name and there was a moment where you thought he was going to take a swing at you but thankfully he didn't. "You think you know fucking everything about fucking everyone don't you?" He snarled. You gave him a small yet cocky little smirk as you shrugged and he scoffed at your pathetic excuse of an answer. "Oh so now the cat's got your fucking tongue…" He snapped back quickly this time being the one to almost push you backwards as he took a small step forward.
As your bare feet regain their solid footing on the cool concrete floor, as you take a long shallow breath. "No." You start slowly. "I just want an honest answer out of you for once in this farce we call a relationship." Your words while harsh had a tone of brutal honesty to them. Negan's eyes were focused on you now, studying every small muscle movement of your face as you tried to remain calm.
Negan glanced over towards Deacon's crib, watching his son sleep for several moments before turning back to you. Letting out a long, heavy sigh Negan reached out and placed his hand on your shoulder. "You want the truth?" You give him a quick nod and he lets out a small huff. "Fine." He said sharply as his hand slipped away from your shoulder as he started to walk into your bed room. You stood in the middle of the larger room staring at him as he stood in the doorway to the other smaller room. "Come on…" He demanded and this time you followed.
Once in the room Negan gestured for you to sit on the bed as he leaned back against the dresser. As you stat down, your hands fidgeting in your lap, Negan finally started to drop his mask. "Yes…" The simple word, just one syllable send a shiver down your spine making each hair on your body stand on end in the sudden realization that you weren't making all those jealous feelings up. "From the first fucking day I walked into this place… when it was nothing more than a fucking shit show run by children… I couldn't believe how much you looked like Lucille when I met her almost 20 years ago when I was in collage." His bottom lip quivered for a moment as he almost smiled as if he was recalling a fond memory from his youth as his eyes cast to floor for a moment. "I didn't want to know you, at that point everyone one who's path I had crossed and I started to fucking care about ended up dead… and I watched Lucille die once…I didn't want to get all fucking attached to you and then go through that shit all over again." His voice shook as his eyes started to raise to meet your gaze.
His hands shook as he gripped the dresser. "Then… a few months in to being here, Simon and I were drinking late one night and I hear this blood curtailing scream." This time you were the one to cast your eyes to floor as he recounted his side of the events of the night that changed the course of so many people's lives. "Simon and I are both like 'What the fuck?' so we race across the yard and find those fucking wolves beating the shit out of you, doing what they did…" His voice almost cracks as he describes the events. There wasn't a day that went by that you didn't think of that night, but in all this time you had never heard Negan's side of things. "You looked up at me… tears in your eyes and so fucking scared, blood all over your face… screaming 'help me'." You glanced up at Negan to watch as he hung his head low. His eyes locked on his boots. "I lost it, I picked up the bat and the rest well you know the fucking rest." He grumbled as he kicked his boot against the floor in frustration, "Yes maybe the fact that you look like goddamn ghost of my dead wife played a factor but I am not the type of man that would have stood by and watch some innocent girl get fucking raped…"
You wince as if his words physically stung you. "I know." You choke out fighting back tears. Not because Negan had hurt you, because while the truth of the matter did hurt. His willingness to be honest with you was something that you had never seen before in Negan. You bring your hand to your cheek to quickly wipe away the stray tear that was daring to roll down your cheek in defiance of the stony expression you were trying to maintain. As painful as the subject matter was you didn't want Negan to see just how much it was ripping you apart, deep in your soul, to hear the much needed truth.
Negan let out a long breath before he continued, "Then a few weeks later, you come up to me and ask me if you can be one of my wives… you still had a fucking black eye and bruises up and down your arms. You looked half fucking starved and on the verge of death." Negan was obviously frustrated recalling this moment. His breaths grew shorter as he ran his hands through his hair. "What the fuck was I supposed to say (y/n)? No, because you look like my wife that died… it would be too hard for me… too fucking cruel for you. " He questioned you wide eyed but you couldn't even look at Negan at the moment for fear if you did you would lose the little resolve you had left. "I couldn't do that… so I say ok… then to make things worse as time goes fucking on for me, you are nicer to me than all the other wives… even when I did nothing but push you away. You take everything I threw at you without a peep of protest. I would come see you only when I missed her. I didn't hide that either because I wanted it to hurt. I wanted you to hate me… because if you hated me it would be easier for me to be hateful back and maybe eventually you would fucking hate me enough to leave." Negan paused and let out a long breath and half hearted chuckle. "I guess my plan fucking worked."
As you shook your head with disbelief at the tale you had just been told. It was hard for you to imagine the hold that woman still held over him. "Can you hear how fucking cruel that all sounds." You choke out the last thread of resolve wavering. "Everything that you ever did to me… for me… even probably still do…" Your voice wavers as your hands shake as you scoot back on the bed searching for Simon's pillow blindly behind you. As your hand grasps it you quickly clutch it to your chest as you burry your face in it to hide the tears that were now streaming from your eyes.
Negan took a few steps forward and reached out to comfort you but you swatted his hand away with an angry snarl. "Don't you fucking dare…" Lifting your head from the pillow, your eyes red from your tears as you glare up at Negan.
"I am sorry," Negan started sounding incredibly sincere. "but you wanted the truth…" That after thought he added cut deep and it was meant to do so, he couldn't let you get the best of him completely.
Shaking you head as you hand clutched the pillow tightly in your hands as you hid your face once more in the pillow as your tried desperately to resist the urge to punch the father of your child. All you could think of to say as you lifted your head after a few moments was "Please leave." Your voice was soft, weak and filled with sorrow. "Just go… leave me alone please…" You plead.
Negan sighs and shook his head. "I don't think that's a good fucking idea what so ever." His voice held a tone of concern that you didn't expect from him in that moment. "Being alone right now is the last thing you need."
"Then pull Simon off work and let him come be with me because I do not want you here." You snap quickly as you toss the pillow aside and stand up. Negan takes a step back his dark eyes narrowing in on you.
Negan's glare was stern and he shook his head. "No." He said simply.
"I don't give a single fuck if you say no… I am not your wife… I am sure as hell not your fucking dead fucking wife… that's your option. Take it and fucking go.." You said shoving him towards the door. Though he towered over you the rage coursing through your veins causing this brash move made you bolder than you had been in years. Negan seemed shocked as he stumbled back. He had seen sides of you he did not know existed in the last 24 hours. In his mind you had always been this mild, meek little thing who couldn't and wouldn't defend herself. This woman before him was a different creature entirely. You were rattled, unhinged almost in that moment as you pushed him once more to try and get him out of your bedroom. "I need to fucking process all that fucking shit you dumped on me… it's only fucking fair… now leave." You seethe as Negan takes a step back towards the door.
He was not a nervous man, you had never seen him look truly nervous before that moment. "Fine… but I am going to wait for him out here… with the kid." He almost stammered as he took another step out of the bedroom as you gripped the doorknob tightly.
"Fine." You growl as you close the door, though you wished you could have slammed it for a better effect but that would have woken Deacon and he was the most innocent party in all this chaos. As much as you wanted to allow yourself to fall apart and feel all the emotions that were being locked in your wounded soul to their fullest extent. You could not do so knowing Negan was on the other side of the thin wall.
He had already seen far too much of the side of you that few people ever see, that dark broken side that still didn't sleep through the night because of the nightmare that plagued you. Till last night… you thought for moment trying to occupy your mind with any other subject than the truth behind the shaky foundation of your and Negan's relationship.
Turning back towards the bed you took a few short steps before falling forward and flopping down on the bed. You scurry up towards the head of the bed and wrap your arms around the pillow Simon had used last night once more. You closed you eyes and did your best to try and calm your mind but it was no use. Silent tears started to seep from your eyes betraying your near iron will to fight back these emotions. Your chest grew tight as a feeling of panic coursed through your veins as you closed your eyes. In an instant you were back to the night that Negan had come to your rescue. You could almost feel the heat from the fire on your skin. The sound of the long dead men cat calling you echoed through your mind as you lay alone in the room. Taking a sharp breath your eyes pop open, It's not real… it's just a memory… it's the past… they are all dead. You repeat trying to calm that panic that was only tightening it's grip on your body and mind in that moment.
You were so lost in your own thoughts that you didn't hear the knock on main door, or that Negan had let Simon in. There was muffled conversation between the men. You were not paying enough attention to make out what they were saying to each other. Only frantic and frustrated tones that almost made you think it was all in your head.
It wasn't until Simon walked into your bed room did you even notice that any time at all had past. As he closed the door behind him, Simon quickly rushed to your side. As he sat down next to you, he reached up and wiped the tears streaming down your cheek. "What did that son of a bitch do?" Simon asked in a soft yet distinctively angry tone.
You lift your head up a little as you sniffle and bring the sleeve of your robe to your face to dry your tears. "Fucking Lucille…" You grumble and instantly Simon knew what you meant and you watched as this look of pure rage spread across his face. He didn't seem shocked or surprised by your words either, which led you to believe he likely knew about this all along.
"He never fucking deserved you." Simon reminded you bitterly as his strong hand, tenderly caressed your cheek. Your hands slowly move towards your tear stained cheeks, sniffling softly as you try to wipe away the tears as they stream down your cheeks. Simon lets out a long sigh as holds his arms open. "Come here sweetheart…" Without much thought you almost fell into Simon's arms. Your face pressed against his chest as your cries turned into hard sobs as you finally allowed yourself to feel some of the emotions that you had been pushing down since your conversation with Negan had begun.
As you sobbed your breaths grew shorter and you could feel the full grip of sheer terror take hold on your body. The tightness in your chest spread like wildfire through all the muscles of your body. Your lips quivered as your sobbed "I wasn't doing anything… I didn't do anything… why did they pick me… why did Negan say yes… why did he use me like that?" You wailed into Simon's chest as your hands gripped the back of his shirt for tightly. "I am just cursed or something…" You sob hard as you rest your head against his chest. With each sob your body shakes with the raw pain of memories.
This was not the first time, nor would it be that last time, that Simon held you, sobbing in his protective embrace. The first time was the night that all this started in way. Negan took care of the men who had assaulted you and Simon, he was the one who picked you up and took you too the former army medic who was once the camps only medical care. He stayed with you till Sherry and Dwight found you, then Simon left to finish the rest of the old guard off with Negan. It was something that you could not remember but it was a moment that Simon could never forget. It was the first time he slaughtered a group of people out of pure rage. Between Negan, Simon, Gavin and a few other long dead friends they killed everyone who had anything to do with the group of young men who had assaulted you. Negan and Simon being the two with the most blood on their hands at the end of the night.
Simon let you sob in his arms till you had no more tears left in you and your body was exhausted in every way possible. Simon put you to bed, tucking you in and laying with you till you were asleep before he got up and went back out into the main room to collect himself. It was not easy for him to play the stoic, comforting partner. It wasn't in his nature but you had a hold on him from that night that he had helped save you. He tried to talk Negan out of taking you as his wife all those years ago and again when Negan shared his plan to drive you away with him. Even back then Negan accused Simon of warning him against being with you only for selfish reasons but Simon saw something more in you. Where Negan saw the ghost of Lucille, Simon saw the dream of a future. He saw how what happened broke you, how what Negan was doing was only breaking you more and for the first time in his life. Simon wanted to be the one to save girl, but you and Negan were not making that easy for him.
Simon pinched the bridge of his nose as he settled back in one of the wooden dining room chairs as he took a long deep breath. "What the fuck am I gonna do with you?" He mumbled as he hung his head trying to think of some way he could possibly make things less painful for you. As he was lost in his thoughts there was a soft knock on the door, at first Simon didn't notice it but by the second knock the door opened and Negan stuck his head in.
"How is she?" Negan asked softly and Simon motioned for him to enter. Negan stepped in the room and quickly closed the door behind him. He eyed the bedroom door for a moment as Simon kicked another chair away from the table slightly. Negan took the hint and joined Simon at the table.
"Where's Deacon?" Simon asked soon as Negan took his seat.
Negan raised his black leather glove covered hand as he spoke. "With Sherry, he was really pissed off when he woke up in my room. I took him to the wives and little man knew Sherry right away and ran straight towards her. It was actually cute as shit to tell you the truth." Simon couldn't help but chuckle softly as he looked at Negan for a moment before glancing back at the bedroom, slightly worried what would happen if you woke up with Negan there. "Did you know that (y/n) and Sherry were like childhood friends or some shit?" Negan asked distracting Simon from his previous thought.
"Yeah. D mentioned it earlier, (y/n)'s brother actually got him his job before all this shit." Simon pointed and Negan smirked. Simon was trying to keep the conversation light despite the fact that he wanted to beat the shit out of Negan for sparking your emotional break. As he chewed on his bottom lip contemplating how he wanted to word what he needed to get off his chest to one of his closest friends, his foot tapped nervously on the smooth grey floor.
The silence was nearing an uncomfortable length when Simon finally found the words he was looking for and his foot steadied. "You do know.. from all that shit from before you took over.. probably left (y/n) with like PTSD." Negan gave a barely visible nod as he cast his eyes to the table. "I warned you, don't take that girl on. You told me even before all that happened to her, that she reminded you of your wife. That you would just watch her and get lost in your memories of Lucille." Simon's words were sharp and precise as he spoke. Each word meant to be another chink in Negan's armor. "but you didn't listen. I get it, trust me I understand why you would want her."
Negan's gaze quickly moved from his hands resting on the table to Simon's smug grin as he gave his jab. His thin lips curled into a snarl as he leaned forward wait for Simon to say something to give him a real reason to finish the fight they had started earlier in the day.
Simon leaned forward as well, his forearms resting across the table as he continued. "You ended up getting what you wanted in the end, she left and was smart enough to leave before you found out she was pregnant. (y/n) is really such a clever girl." Simon let out a little laugh but Negan did not his statement amusing at all, as he balled his hands into fists as he continued to list to Simon's speech. "Since you shared some truth with her, let me share with you this little tid bit of information." Simon leaned back in the chair and almost chuckled as his eyes met Negan's "Everyone knew that kid was yours… but you…" Simon leaned forward as he continued. "It wasn't that hard for anyone to put together. (y/n) stops being your wife and magically 6 months later she gives birth to a perfectly healthy, full term baby… no other man in the picture. Was it immaculate conception? Is Deacon the second coming?" Simon said with a laugh but Negan found none of this amusing.
"Shut the fuck up Simon.." Negan finally groaned. There was this small part of him that had always known that the baby you had given birth to was his child. Like Simon had pointed out, there was no other real option.
"No," Simon retorted. "You are a smart guy Negan, one of the smartest men I have known. How in the fuck did you not put two and two together before yesterday?" Simon asked sincerely, he was really puzzled by the whole situation.
Negan let out a small sigh and shrugged. "I didn't see her with him much, I only ever really got a good look at him before when he was a tiny little shit and they all look the same when they are so fucking little." Negan tried to make excuses but even they sounded horrible to him the second they came out of his mouth.
"Bull shit… I knew my son was mine the fucking second I saw him so that right there is fucking bull shit." Simon was buying them either and just shook his head. "You want to know what I think?" He asked his friend in a condescending tone.
"No." Negan replied back sharply.
"Well I don't give a fuck what you want right now because you need to fucking hear this shit." Simon slammed his hand on the table to get Negan's attention before he spoke. "You didn't do anything about the kid till I said something… because you didn't want (y/n) back in your life… each day reminding you of Her." Simon pointed out simply and Negan couldn't deny what he was said an air of truth. "What was best for the kid be damned, what was fucking best for (y/n) be damned. That girl was struggling for years. Barely getting by, raising that baby all by herself." Simon shook his head as he spoke, his voice filled with a mixture of rage and disappointment in a man he considered one of his closest friends in either of his lives.
Negan let out a heavy sigh and covered his face with is hands for a moment taking a long deep breath. "All Lucille ever wanted was kids…" Negan started slowly as his hand slicked his hair back as he spoke before leaning back in the chair. "We tried the old fashioned way, we saw doctors, we even scrapped together to do one round of some hormones and shit… no baby. We tried the whole adoption route but we couldn't afford all the fees and shit." Negan hung his head for a moment as he took a deep breath. "You are fucking right though…I knew the kid was mine from the second I heard she had a baby." Simon glared at his friend, his dark eyes burned with anger and Negan raised his hand up. "Don't fucking start… you said it first."
"I didn't think it was true…" Simon responded quickly his voice filled with a great deal of misplaced rage about the years he had missed out on being about of his own son's short life. "I mean… you knew you had a son for two years and did fuck all about it?" Negan shook his head.
"I made sure she had extra points and had an easy enough job… she is the one that left with my kid." Negan responds sharply. "Then you point out how much she is struggling and that there is no denying that the boy is mine.. so I fucking offer her a spot back. She won't take it and I still fucking take care of her and the kid… how the fuck does she repay me? Fucking my best friend." Negan seethed as he leaned in and looked Simon square in the eyes. "So tell me… Simon… how long have you been fucking my wife.."
"She isn't your wife…" Simon replied slamming his hands down on the table. "She is her own fucking person and if (y/n) wants to be with me, I am damn sure not going to stop her because the woman is a god damn Queen amongst fucking peasants." Simon pushed back his chair as he stood up and loomed over Negan. "You had your chance, you blew it… that is on you." Negan's jaw clenched as Simon inched closer to him. "She wants us to be peaceful about this shit… we are fucking friends before anything else Negan." Simon reminded his friend. "Let's be honest… she could do a lot worse…" Simon smiled darkly as he stood up straight and placed his hands on his hips.
Negan leaned back in the chair and let out a heavy sigh. He was not a man that was defeated easily or often. There was no way that he was going to let Simon have his family without one hell of a fight, but this wasn't something he could solve with a swing of Lucille. He was going to have to play a long game, win you back with more than fists and threats. "Fine." Negan said simply as he stood up. "You want to play fucking house with my family Simon, have right the fuck at it… but know this…" He leaned in and got just inches away from Simon's face. "When you fuck up… and you will… because that is just who you are Simon… I am going to be right there, waiting to pick up the pieces." He reached his hand up and patted Simon on the cheek with a dark, ominous grin plastered across his face. "Tell (y/n) that Sherry has the squirt… I got shit to do." Negan turned around and strutted towards the door, as he was about to walk out he turned back for a moment and smiled at Simon. "We good brother?"
Simon gave a slow, measured, nod as he mumbled. "Yeah… we're good." Watching Negan intently as he walked out of the room. Once the door was shut Simon let out a heavy sigh of relief as his hands fell away from his hips and he cursed. "Fuck…" partly out of frustration partly out of relief. "Why do I feel like one of us is gonna end up dead before the end of this?" He muttered softly to himself.
"Because… that's the only way it ever ends Simon…" You answer him softly from the bedroom door. You had woken from your slumber when you heard the two men arguing. You hadn't caught all of their conversation but enough that your rage towards Negan only intensified in that moment and the feelings you had towards Simon feel so much than perhaps they truly were.
Simon turned around and watched as you walked slowly towards him, your arms crossed in front of your chest. "Sweetheart… you don't know what you're asking me to do…" He said slowly as his hand reached out and caressed your cheek. You leaned into his touch and smiled softly.
"It could be as simple as doing nothing Simon… it's only a matter of time before he pisses off the wrong cowboy." Simon chuckles softly at your words.
His hand slips into your messy hair as leans his forehead against yours, "Funny you say that…" He said with a dark smile that you both shared. "An outpost was just attacked the other day… there is some rouge group.."
You lift your hand and press it against his lips stopping him from finishing. "Then we wait…see what happens. You play good little solider and I will be on my best behavior… he can see Deacon as much as he wants. We give him no reason to suspect anything Simon…" You hand slipped away from his lips as you spoke. Even as you spoke the words you doubted your conviction, though Simon didn't seem to see the wavering emotions behind the tone of rage in your voice.
"If he pulls this bull shit again I will fucking kill him, with my bare hands…I don't ever want to see you like that again (y/n)" Simon said in low tone. His hands tangling in your hair pulling you into a bloodlust fueled kiss. "You are mine now… you understand…" He said in such a dark tone that it sent a shiver down your spine. Despite that shiver you gave him a soft smile and nod. "That's my girl…" He said with a soft chuckle as he wrapped his arms tightly around you.
There was this sick feeling in your stomach, like you may have just started something that had no good ending…for anyone. Least of all you and your son.