AN: have some down time so i thought i'd update. The Characters and anything else recognizable do not belong to me. Only the story idea. :)

When they arrived at the Tonks's Ted was waiting and seemed confused when his wife and daughter appeared out of the fire followed by Remus. He started to say something, most likely to ask what was going on, but Andromeda shook her head and said to her daughter. "Nymphadora why don't you take Remus up stairs? I'm sure he's tired."

Tonks entwined her fingers through his and led him out of the room and up to hers. She was sure her mother had meant for him to go to the guest room, but she didn't want him to be alone.

Once in her room Remus sat on the bed and put his head in his hands. It was all so surreal. He felt like he was in someone else's body, like a scared child trapped in a man's body. All he wanted to do was curl up and hide from the world. And to cry. But he wouldn't.

"Remus?"

He looked up. Dora was leaning against the door looking unsure and helpless of what to do.

"Come here," he said more hoarsely then usual. How long had it been since he'd spoken last? Surely only an hour.

Tonks moved to the bed and sat beside him. Without hesitation she put her arms around him and pulled him over so he was leaning against her.

"How did you know?" he asked after a time.

She didn't have to ask what he meant. "It was a feeling. When you left I started to feel uneasy and I knew something was wrong. I don't know why or how but I just knew. So I flooed to the Weasel and mum followed."

The fell into silence again and eventually they fell asleep lying there together. That was how Andromeda found them the next morning.

Remus stayed with the Tonks's for the holidays. He seemed to be getting on fine and that worried Tonks. She kept expecting him to become upset, to break down and cry at least. But he never did. Not even at his parent's funeral. It was like he had built a wall around himself. It made her feel distant from him and that made her feel depressed and even more helpless. She had no idea what to do for him.

A Week after he had been there she had written to Sirius, James and Peter telling them what was happening. Within an hour Sirius and James had fallen out of the fire in the sitting room.

"Where is he?" Sirius asked. For once he was not smiling or smirking. He was totally centered in on the issue at hand and how somber it was.

"Upstairs in the shower." She sat on the coach and ran a hand through her hair tiredly. "He's completely closed himself off. I haven't been able to get more then one word out of him for three days! I just don't know, he says he's fine, but how can he be?"

They heard footsteps on the stairs and James said quickly, "We'll talk to him."

Remus entered the room to find his two best friends waiting expectantly for him.

"Remus." James said feeling awkward. What should he say? It was hard getting Remus to talk openly at the best of times.

"James, Sirius." He sighed sinking onto the couch.

They exchanged looks and then Sirius took charge. "Remus," he said without preamble. "You have to stop this."

Remus glanced up at his friend. "Stop what?"

"Stop bloody pushing everyone away is what."

"We know you're hurting." James added, "But it's not going to do you any good to keep it inside. We're your friends Remus, your brothers. We'll stand by you through the good and the bad; it's ok to let everything out."

"I'm not keeping it inside." Remus said almost angrily. He stood and started to pace. Tonks had never seen this side of him before, the agonized one that tried to rationalize everything. James and Sirius had seen it many times.

"Do you think I want to be like this? If I could cry or scream or do anything believe me I would be doing it. But I can't! And all I can keep thinking is that if I had let them meet me like they wanted to then this would never have happened."

"You can't know that." Tonks said firmly. "The Death eaters could have struck later and then you might be dead too!"

"Well we'll never know will we?" Remus turned abruptly. He was breathing hard and his eyes were hard. They had that wolfish gleam that rarely ever showed it's self.

"I'm going for a walk. I need air."

He then strode out of the room and in a second they all heard the front door close. Even when he's angry he can't slam a door, she thought shaking her head.

"Well you tired."

"It's a start." James sighed. "He's going to get worse I guarantee you."

James's prediction was only partially right. After his rant Remus seemed to be getting back to his regular self, yet there were moments when Tonks would catch him with a pensive far away look.

Two days before they were to return to school Remus found himself alone in the kitchen with Andromeda. It was early and they were the only two up, Andromeda because she was an early riser and Remus because he couldn't sleep. He hadn't been able to for some days.

Andromeda was moving serenely through the kitchen making breakfast and he was sitting at the table staring at the polished wood.

"You look tired." She said conversationally to him.

Remus glanced up to find her watching him. He smiled slightly. "I am."

"You should go back to bed, according to my daughter I'm the only one crazy enough to be up at six in the morning."

Remus smiled again but shook his head. "I can't sleep; haven't been able to for days." He said quietly.

"You need a cup of tea." She declared moving to the stove. It was her belief that tea helped all problems.

Remus laughed shortly. "My mother…" he sighed. "My mother used to say there is no problem too big that a good cup of tea can't help with."

She looked at him over her shoulder. Sitting at the table he looked worn down and forlorn. Suddenly he covered his face with his hands and his body began to shake.

It had hit him like a wave banging against his raw senses. Finally for the first time in weeks he was able to let it out. The grief, the anger, the constant bitter emotion that was eating at him from inside. Finally he cried.

Remus felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. Looking up through tear filled eyes he found Andromeda sitting beside him. It was her hand that was rubbing his shoulder in gentle soothing circles. She didn't say anything simply sat there with him until he had calmed down. Then she handed him a steaming cup of earl grey and returned to making breakfast.