CHAPTER THREE: HIGH-SPEED WARIO KART!

Music: Super Paper Mario: Fracktail Battle watch?v=OYpsMiBUOBU

"DRIVE, WARIO!" Waluigi yelled, hurriedly glancing back to check on Bowser's progress!

"I'M DRIVING AS FAST I CAN!" Wario yelled back. "THIS BABY'S GOING AS FAST AS SHE CAN!"

"Wait, you call your car your baby?!" Waluigi turned around, cocking his eyebrows in a suggestive fashion.

"Keep your stupid jokes to yourself-"

"YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"
The partners' blood ran cold- Bowser was gaining on them, his Koopa Clown Car grinning menacingly down at them!

"NO ONE STEALS FROM ME AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!" Bowser roared, raining fire down on the road around him!
"Drive drive DRIVE!" yelled Waluigi.

"I'M TRYING!"
Wario sped down the narrow mountain road, pushing his engines to the absolute limit! Unfortunately for them, Bowser was fast approaching, his evil grin of a thousand teeth striking fear into the heart of Waluigi!

"DIE!" Bowser pressed a button on his Koopa Clown Car, and the machine's mouth opened to spit deadly fireballs at the dastardly duo!

Music: Mario Kart 8- Bowser's Castle (Final Lap)

watch?v=n-OI45f-dgo&t=4s

"All right, Waluigi got this!" Waluigi reached under the car seat, lifting it up to reveal a stash of freshly armed Bob-Ombs, and a BAZOOKA!

Stuffing handful after handful of bombs into the nozzle of the thing, Waluigi pulled out a pair of purple sunglasses, yelling "IT'S WALUIGI TIME!" with a mighty WAAAAAAAAH!

Firing a volley of explosives at the infernal assault, they blew up instantly on contact with the fiery orbs, denting the grinning vehicle!

"HA!" Waluigi twirled his mustache in celebration! "ANYTHING ELSE YOU GOT, LOSER?"
"I'M ONLY JUST GETTING STARTED, PUNKS!" Bowser yelled, throwing Mecha-Koopas down on the car!

"What's that going to do- AAAAAAAAAH!" The clockwork devils were biting and chewing into the car's metal hide! Wario saw this, and began to see red!
"NO ONE MESSES UP MY PAINT JOB! I PUT SOLID GOLD DUST INTO THAT!" Wario put the car on autopilot and joined Waluigi in the back seat, tearing off a Mechakoopa and decking it against the road, smashing it to tiny pieces! Then he grabbed another one, wound up, and threw it directly into Bowser's bony noggin!

"YOU LITTLE-! ROOOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRR!" The Clown Car suddenly grew boxing gloves, and began to swoop down towards the car directly! "TASTE MY JUNIOR'S LATEST UPGRADE!"
Bowser tried to engage in rapid fisticuffs, but Wario was the Diamond City Boxing Champ before he lost the title for bribing judges, and he hadn't lost any of that strength! Matching Bowser blow for blow, the blows got faster until both of them locked fists, each trembling at the other's sheer force!
Wario grinned, then headbutted the Clown Car with his mighty skull, knocking it into a mountainside, making it start to spark and smoke!

"Now, Waluigi! The Wario Bros. Secret Technique!" Wario yelled.

"Which one?"
"Number 1, Bros. Waft!" Wario quickly squatted down, his ample buttocks pointed directly at the careening Bowser! Waluigi pulled a match out of his pants, struck it and held it up to Wario's ass!

"WARIO BROS SPECIAL MOVE! BROS WAFT!"
Wario let loose a massive garlic fart, which turned into a massive fireball, coming directly towards the Koopa dictator! Trying to hold it back with his own fire breath, it didn't last, and he got a faceful of burning garlic odor!

When the smoke cleared, Bowser's face was completely black with ash and his mane singed!
"MY HAIR! MY GLORIOUS, LUSTROUS MANE!" Bowser roared. "YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!"

"RRRGH! SUPERGIANT IRON BALL!" Bowser pointed to the sky, and a platoon of Fly Guys brought in a iron ball almost as wide as the road they were driving on! "GET CRUSHED! GWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Wario got in place, spreading his legs to steady himself, and caught the iron ball with both of his hands!
"All right Waluigi, put those long legs of yours to use!"

"WALUIGI KICK!" Waluigi began spinning around, so fast that his movements started to blur, then delivered a mighty roundhouse kick to the iron ball, sending it flying back to Bowser!

"NO! HOW CAN THIS BE?!"
The giant ball hit him dead-on, and he flew off into the distance, screaming bloody murder all the while!
"I'LL GET YOU BACK FOR THIS! KING BOWSER NEVER FORGETS AN INSULT!"

He disappeared into a twinkle in the sky, his voice disappearing completely!

Music: Super Smash Bros Brawl- Waluigi Pinball

watch?v=RCZIBcpOlMc

"WE DID IT! ALL THE MONEY IS OURS!" Wario laughed greedily, with Waluigi joining in, until they happened to look at the road ahead.

Music: Mario & Luigi Partners in Time: Serious Trouble!

watch?v=B0xNQj3VNcM&t=11s

The road ended on a complete dead end, with a sheer cliff!
"WAAAAAAAA! What do we do?! Waluigi's too young and handsome to die!" Waluigi screeched, pulling his mustache in fear!

"I GOT IT!" Wario got back into the driver's seat, and pressed a specific button, under a panel reading DO NOT PUSH marked with a rocket! A jet thruster suddenly appeared out of the back grill of the car, and took off instantly!

"WHAT DID THAT BUTTON DO?!" yelled Waluigi.

"IT'S THE ROCKET BOOSTER! HOPEFULLY WE'LL LAND SOMEWHERE LESS ROCKY AND SHARP!" Wario barked back!

"IF WE DON'T DIE FIRST!" Waluigi retorted.

As the rocket sped up, Wario and Waluigi were plastered against the back of their seats, yelling all the while;

"THE WAAAAA BROTHERS ARE BLASTING OFF AGAIN! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-"

(audible twinkle)

Will the Wario Bros survive the inevitable crash landing?
Will Bowser recover his pride from this crushing defeat?!
AND WHERE IN THE WORLD WILL THEIR WACKY ADVENTURES TAKE THEM NEXT?!
FIND OUT ON THE NEXT CHAPTER OF:
WARIO & WALUIGI: PARTNERS IN CRIME!