Chapter 2: Lost in communication
Rey was working on another broken bit of the Falcon. Small lines of frustration formed between her eyes, when she concentrated so hard. She tried to find out what it was this time, that had been broken. "I know, I know. It should be working – but it doesn't." She answered slightly frustrated to a series of grunts and hisses uttered by Chewbacca, who was raising his hairy arms towards her.
The young Jedi sat on the top of the Falcon, throwing a wrench towards Chewbacca, who commented on her using the wrong tool for the task. Chewbacca grunted again, catching the wrench.
"I know, the hydro spanner should do the trick. Can you hand me one, please?", She asked calmer, adding "I'm sorry. I shouldn't whine about it. You took such good care of her for so long. It's my fault, I don't get this done."
Chewbacca answered with another series of grunts.
"No way. We can do this on our own. They have enough on their plates without getting their hands on our baby." Rey recoiled. She had set her mind to the task of fixing this issue. She didn't want to follow Chewbacca's lead of asking Poe Dameron for help. Ever since the talk with General Organa and especially after having talked about the upcoming party with Rose, Karé and Jess, she tried to avoid her friend. She felt a little self-conscious just thinking about him. And she was sad about it.
She could fix the Falcon on her own.
"Rey? Are you trying to repair or destroy that?", a soft voice mockingly asked. It was Rose Tico, who was on her break from duty on the flight deck. Grease graced her friendly smiling face and the jumpsuit.
"Hi Rose. Believe me when I say, I never intend to destroy the Falcon." Rey raised her hands in surrender.
"Permission to come on board?", the mechanic asked, directed at Chewbacca, who simply grunted and motioned towards Rey.
"I should have brought my tools, then?" Rose climbed the ladder, that was put up on the Falcon leading her to the top of the ship. "What ails this beauty today?", she asked and sat down next to Rey.
Rey didn't answer, instead she worked on a broken piece of metal.
"I think, this is beyond repair, Rey." Rose commented and looked around. Apart from the little broken piece, everything else looked well-kept and in order.
"Are you sure the Falcon needs repairs?" It made sense to her, that Chewbacca would growl and moan about Rey's rummaging the hull. But she wondered what made Rey hide in the hangar where nobody dared to disturb her.
Rey sighed and let the piece sink. She drew her knees to herself and let her eyes wander over the hangar. They were the only people in there, even Chewbacca had retreated.
"I wanted to be alone, to be honest. And working with my hands usually calms me down.", she admitted.
"Is it something I said last night?" Rose inquired without much ado. She already knew that something had bothered her friend at the bar.
"I … well, ehm." Rey stuttered. She really didn't know how to talk about this – not even with her best friend. "I'm not really good in talking to people. You know that. And I really don't look forward to a party." She shrugged and wanted to get up already. Only stopped by Rose putting her hand on her arm and smiling made her stay. "I really like hanging with you and Jess and Karé. But all the talking about this party made me nervous."
"Don't worry about it. Nobody is as confident as Jess and Karé. I had no idea how to talk to people either. Give it time." Rose grinned encouragingly. "A lot of their boasting must come from flying. But I think last night, there was also the alcohol speaking."
"But you are good at talking, too. It's so easy to talk to you. You always manage to say the right thing." Rey shrugged. "Everyone likes you."
"Oh no. That's not true. You should have been there, when I made a complete fool of myself when I first met Finn. I practically made mooneyes at him when I simply wanted to introduce myself to him." Rose blushed at the simple thought of it.
Of course, Rey had heard about that day. Finn had told her when they were escaping Crait on the Falcon. The Jedi got lost in that memory for a moment. And her mind wandered to another moment she remembered about that day. She tried to shake the thought of deep brown eyes, the soft curl of his smile and the warmth of his hand on hers. She couldn't fight the little smile that crossed her face for a second.
"I'm really not good with talking to people. I cannot simply invade their minds to hear what they think. I always shut my senses. And without this intuition, I feel blind." Rey admitted shyly. "Before having trained with Master Luke and reading up on the old Jedi texts, I think, I might have sensed other people's thoughts without even realizing it. I always had good instincts and senses. But ever since I shut these senses down, I feel clumsy talking to others."
"I didn't know that." Rose looked at her friend sadly. "Would it help you to read others?"
Appalled, Rey moved away and shook her head. "A Jedi should never ever read other people's minds without their consent. Nobody should do that. It's one of the worst things you could do to another sentient being." She shuddered. "Kylo Ren did that to me, when I was on the Starkiller base. He did it to others, too. Even today, I sometimes get nightmares because of it. It felt like something was ripped from my mind that only belonged to me."
"I didn't know that. I'm so sorry." Rose began to understand, why Rey wouldn't want to use her ability for such a thing. "But we can read people without this ability, too.", She tried. "There's more to see with you won eyes. There's body language. There's touching and of course some people talk completely different to different people. But in order to manage that skill, you actually have to be around people." Rose nudged her friend friendly.
Rey shrugged. "I know these things. But still, I don't always know how to read these signs."
Rose thought about the revelation a bit. "But you seem so at ease when you talk to me or Finn. I never noticed that it troubles you that much." She added smilingly "And you are totally calm when you talk to Poe. There's not the slightest hint of insecurity, when you talk to him. And he's always very relaxed when he's talking to you. So, I think you already know how to communicate with people – better than you realize."
A fierce blush crept to Rey's pale cheeks. "You think so?"
"Well, of course. We are your friends. You should not be embarrassed. If you need help in large gatherings, just let me know. You should not be afraid of this party thing. And don't worry about that date thing. I will not let you feel alone."
"I have no idea, how we even got to this point." Rey whispered. "I have no interest in dates or dancing." She sighed. "But I'm still not going. I want to go back to Ach'To in a bit. I want to feel the force and learn some things, I studied in the old books."
"It would be great to have you at the solstice festivities. But, if you don't feel like going, I won't push it any further."
Rose looked around and after making sure, that the Falcon really didn't need any more work, she smiled softly. "Don't worry so much, Rey. You're a great person and you are loved." She hugged her and started to descend from the ship.
"Thank you."
"I really don't feel like going to this party. I really need a good night's sleep." Poe Dameron exclaimed in frustration. He walked the long corridor down towards the mess hall with BB-8 in tow. The little droid beeped enthusiastically. "See, even Beebee-Ate know I sleep to little."
"Come on, Poe. You never miss a party.", Jessika Pava teased him. "And you can still sleep after the party. Maybe even better than you expect." She lets the words linger a bit too suggestively for a public place, making Poe blush involuntarily.
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Jess." He dismissed his friend's allusion and hurries a little up to get out of a situation, that clearly embarrassed him. Upon walking into the mess hall, he quickly scans the room for an empty seat – it is always hard to find a quiet table at the main rush hour in the evening. He quickly joins the queue and loads up his plate with fruits and bread and finds the place he was looking for.
"Hi Rey.", he greets the Jedi and plops down next to her. "I heard you had more trouble with the Falcon this morning." He casually strikes up a conversation. "You should have her listed in the inventory. It's easier to get spare parts from the official channels then.", he suggests and chews on some bread.
"Chewie doesn't want that. You know how he feels about that." Rey answered quietly. Before she could say anything else, they are joined by Snap, Karé and Jess.
"So – about the party. When are you guys planning on being there?" Snap asks around when sitting down on the opposite side of the table. "Is there an official part that we have to attend? Or can we just come and go as we please?"
"Oh, these two won't even attend. Didn't you know?", Jess motions towards Rey and Poe. She seems a bit miffed about the fact.
"You're not coming? Both of you? Has the general deployed you on another mission again?" Snap asked clueless.
Poe glances towards Rey, who seems to be very focused on her food, tossing it around her plate. He clears is throat and answered reluctantly "I just told Jess, that I'm tired and don't feel like partying much. She just doesn't believe me, that is all."
Karé tilts her head and nods. "Isn't it solstice on Yavin 4 as well soon?"
"Oh shit, man. Sorry. I totally forgot about it." Jess apologizes. "How long has it been?"
"Too long. Maybe, I'll join you later." Poe got up from his seat, shoving the ring dangling from his necklace back under his collar harshly. "Excuse me. I think, I have some report to finish." Without another word he left the mess hall.
"So, why don't you want to attend the party?", Snap went on inquiring Rey. She looked shocked and swallowed the bit of fruit, she had managed to eat. "I'm not into dancing. Excuse me, please." She stood up as well, gathering her plate and Poe's forgotten plate as well.
"Let me guess – you have a report to finish?" Jess smirked. It dawned on her, that she might have stirred something up the other night.
"What exactly did I miss here?", Snap wondered.
"Honey, I think you're as much in the dark as they are." Karé Kun grinned.
There was a knock on his door. Poe looked up from his desk and rubbed his temple. "Come in."
The door to his quarters slowly opened and Rey entered the room hesitantly. "I think, you forgot your Koyo Melons, you never leave them behind."
She reached out, placing the fruit on Poe's desk. "Is everything alright?" She tried to be as easygoing as usual around her friend. Even though the last few days had left her confused and worried.
"Actually, no." Poe admitted and went over to the small cupboard next to the couch. Being a Commander and especially being friends with General Organa had resulted in him having a larger quarter than being the norm for a Commander. His quarters didn't only consist of a small room with a bunk, but instead were bigger. He had a small living room with a desk and a couch and a bedroom with a private fresher.
He slumped down on the couch, pouring himself a glass of whiskey, that he had gotten from the cupboard. He didn't even ask, if Rey wanted a drink, too. He knew her well enough to know that she didn't like strong alcohol.
Rey went over to the couch and sat down next to him. Softly, she touched his arm. "What is wrong?"
The small and innocent touch of her hand sent a surge of electricity through his body. He liked her – a lot. They had spent a lot of time together, but still it gave him a strange feeling when she casually touched him like that. We are friends, he reminded himself quickly, before answering.
"I know that everyone wants to celebrate the solstice on Lah'mu. But, as Karé so pointedly observed, it's solstice on Yavin 4, as well. Both this planet and the moon I grew up on have similar orbits around their suns. The seasons are similar and the festivities as well. I haven't been home on Yavin 4 in almost ten years. I simply don't want to celebrate another solstice away from home."
"We could get the Falcon and fly to Yavin 4, if you want." Rey offered. She knew it was a bad idea as soon as the words left her mouth, but she hated seeing her friend sad.
"It's not that easy. Yavin 4 was one of the most important bases of the old rebellion. The First Order will have a close lookout for any activity or known ships. Leia explicitly forbids any travel to Yavin 4." Poe took Reys hand and smiled at her. "But I really appreciate the gesture. Even if such a plan would endanger my own father.", he added with a crooked smile.
"Damn, I always miss that one part of information, don't I?" Rey smiled back at him, her insecurity and uneasiness melting away under his smile. "Do you at least want the Koyo Melons, or should I eat them all on my own?"
"Let's share the loot." Poe offered and grinned, taking one of the fruits. "Maybe, we should make the best about the situation and join the others at the party?"
"I really don't want to go. And I asked permission to leave the base for a bit. I need to go back to Ach'To." Rey softly admitted. "There's so much yet to learn for me, and I think the solitude of Ach'To will help me with that." She stared at her hands, not daring to look at Poe. She felt his disappointment. She didn't need to use the force to feel it. He was so clearly projecting his emotions. She hated to let down her friend like that.
Silently they ate the Koyo Melons, until Poe sighs "I'll miss you. How long will you be away?" He didn't care about the magnitude of this admission. He really didn't want to see his friend go.
"I don't know. If I go the direct route, I'll be there within a day. And Chewie won't let me stay there for longer than a week. With everything going on here, you'll hardly notice me being gone at all." Even though Rey was mostly referring to work, she also meant for the party to occupy Poe's mind. "When I'm back, maybe you can tell me all about the solstice traditions on Yavin?"
"I'd like that very much." Poe smiled at her.