here is a new chapter. It took me almost a week to write this, but i was riding high after watching the gold medal win in the Men's Mogals.(first Canadian gold medal win on Canadian soil, even though we've hosted the games three time now!!!) so i decided that it was a good time to finish. Hope you enjoy!:) oh and as always anything recognizable is J.K. Rowling's.
Remus pushed his chair back with a sigh and stood going out into the garden. It was the twilight hour and the garden was cast in long shadows that stretched at odd angles. Sighing again and running a hand through his hair which really could use with a bit of a trim, he decided, he thought of how this time last year he would usually find his mother sitting back here, basking in the pre moon glow.
After much deliberation Remus had decided to move back into his parents house, his house now that they were deceased. Even with the help of magic it had taken he and Tonks three days to get it back into livable condition. That had been the last time he'd seen her that summer. Eight weeks. Had it really been eight weeks since Sirius had shown up on his brand new motorcycle, which did fly, saying that he had to talk to Remus about something private and Tonks had left through the fire after a brief goodbye? Had it really been eight weeks since he started as an active member of the Order?
Remus rubbed the heel of his hand over his eyes tiredly. Since fully being inducted into the order at his first meeting, the same night Sirius had shown up, effectively pissing Dora off as he destroyed the mood she was trying to create, he had been going non stop. He had just come back from the sight of a Muggle attack. Moody had told the Auror office that he would investigate so that the Order could do so first. It had been horrible. The Muggles were terrified almost out of their minds and had not been able to tell them anything coherent before Moody took pity on them and performed a memory charm.
At least they weren't murdered, he told himself. That was something. And tomorrow he and Peter were supposed to be going to Bell End. Dumbledore had heard rumors of suspicious activity there. He wanted them to quietly scope it out and report back without giving away who they were or why they were there.
Remus leaned back against the doorframe and his mind again drifted to Dora. She had sent him a rather scathing owl the other day demanding to know why he had not yet answered any of her letters. He glanced over at the table were they were piled neatly. He really should get back to her before she became suspicious. She knew nothing of the Order and for the time being he wanted to keep it that way. He had a feeling that she would be involved soon enough as it was.
Moving back to the table he found a quill and began to write.
Dora.
I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you until now; the days seemed to have slipped by. I've been busy, tutoring the Adams girl, as you know.
It wasn't a lie. He really had been tutoring her; he had to feed himself somehow.
I promise I will come and see you before you go back to school; I'll even come see you off if you want. To borrow a phrase from you I "miss you like crazy". I can't really write more now, I have an early day tomorrow, the roof has a hole that I haven't yet patched up. It's amazing that a house can go into such disrepair in seven months. I suspect raccoons have made their home in the attic. I will write again soon.
Love Remus.
He reread the letter and sighed dejectedly as he went to Bethan's perch and gave her the letter. He watched her fly away and felt a small stab of Jealousy. She would soon be with Dora and he was stuck home.
Feeling exhausted he headed for bed. He really did have an early morning ahead of him.
"God damn it Peter!" Remus cursed as he fell through James and Lily's fire behind him.
"What's happened?" Lily asked almost fearfully from her perch on the coach.
"What's happened is we were almost killed."
Peter collapsed on the coach beside Lily. He was shaking and when he sat the vibrations of his body made the whole coach shake.
Remus looked at him and shook his head getting his anger in check.
"I'm sorry Peter. It wasn't your fault." He said in gentle tones. He knew it would do no good for them to be fighting or for him to be mad. They had figured out that the prominent village elder was a death eater, even if Peter had got them caught and almost killed.
"No, it was. I'm useless." Peter was practically sobbing. Lily and Remus made eye contact and she raised a brow as if asking what should I do?
"Lily, I wonder if you would mind making Peter a cup of tea?" he asked as he sat on Peter's other side.
"Of course."
Lily rose and went into the small kitchen of the flat. The sounds of water boiling could soon be heard.
"Peter, you're not useless. You're afraid, we all are."
Peter let out a derisive laugh. "You're not. You and Sirius and James aren't afraid of anything!"
It was Remus's turn to laugh. "Not afraid? There are days when I'm terrified. I'm afraid that you're all going to die, that something will happen to Dora. I'm even afraid of myself. As to James and Sirius, there are many things that they fear. It's a human emotion Peter, we all feel it. The difference is that we don't let our fear paralyze us. You can't let it take over."
Lily reentered carrying three mugs. She handed two to Remus and Peter then sat again watching them critically.
Peter took a small sip and smiled at Lily thankfully.
"I put firewhiskey in it." She explained drinking her own tea. "I thought we could all use some."
After a while Peter calmed down and he and Remus went to report what had happened. Afterwards He returned to James and Lily's and Remus apparated home. It was evening and he really did have to take care of that hole before it rained. As soon as he landed in his lane he saw her sitting on the gate. She looked as if she had been sitting there for a while and the look on her face left him in no doubt that he was going to receive an earful.
Just as he reached her and was preparing himself for the argument ahead one of the woman from the village came up the lane with her brood of children. They were obviously coming form the beach. When she saw Tonks she blanched and pulled her children away from that side of the road. The children seemed fascinated by Tonks hair and cloths and stared openly.
"Don't stare!" the woman hissed as she herded the children past. "Don't make eye contact. It only encourages them!"
Remus was having trouble keeping his amusement in and Tonks snorted before putting a hand over her mouth as if she had to hold her laughter in.
"Good evening Mrs. McKendrick ." Remus said to her as she walked past him.
The Woman looked shocked that he had spoken to her, as if she had never met him before, when in fact he'd known her since he was a child.
"This is my Girlfriend Nymphadora," he introduced.
She looked between them and then pushed her children forward. "Yes, well it was lovely running into you Remus, but I must get my children home. Long day at the beach." She moved on but not before he heard her say under her breath, "Your mother would be rolling in her grave if she could see the pink haired hussy you've taken up with. What is this world coming to!"
At this Remus really did laugh and Tonks gave up and joined him. Their laughter seemed to scare the women more and she practically ran down the lane pushing her children impatiently and telling them to hurry up.
"I've been called many things." Tonks gasped when she had finally calmed down, "But I think this is the first time anyone has called me a hussy."
"Well that dress is rather short."
She hopped off the gate, promptly fell forward and he caught her before she hit the ground.
"Yeah well it's hot out, and I've found that when you're on a mission to get the truth you do whatever you have to. Including flashing a lot of leg."
She was indeed flashing a lot of leg. A lot of shoulder too, Remus thought as he helped her straighten up.
Tonks readjusted her dress and looked up to see him staring at her.
"If you're checking me out, you can just wait until later mister. We need to talk." Her tone left him in little doubt that she would just let it go.
"We should go inside," he sighed.
She followed him still looking determined and once they were inside sat on the arm of the coach. Remus moved to the small kitchen and pulled out a bottle of firewhisky that he was sure had been there since 1960, but he didn't care. After the day he had had he would need it to get through the up coming argument. He took a long pull straight from the bottle and ignoring the searing felling in his throat turned to find Dora leaning in the doorway watching him with one pink brow raised.
"Long day?"
Instead of answering he asked, "What did you want to talk about?"
Looking at him in the fading light Tonks could see that he was tired, exhausted even. His hair was disheveled and as she watched him take another long drink straight from the bottle there was a slight shake to his hand, hardly even a tremor really but she noticed it just the same. She wouldn't let herself feel bad for bombarding him though. It was time for answers and she wasn't going to let up until she got them.
"You've been avoiding me." She said in her direct manner. "Why?"
"I haven't been avoiding you Dora. I told you in my letter that I've been busy." He sat the bottle down but continued to stare out the window where he had fixed his gaze after initially seeing her in the doorway.
Tonks snorted derisively. "Yeah, I know I read it. Rather vague don't you think? You managed to avoid every question I asked you. Of course I guess I shouldn't be surprised, evasiveness is one of your greatest skills."
Remus looked at her now. If she was trying to get him angry he wasn't going to give in to it. So he calmly asked, "What do you want me to say Dora? I've been busy. I've been working and I'm sorry I haven't been able to answer you back as quickly as you would like. I don't know what you expect."
Tonks crossed her arms. Her usually laughing eyes were livid and in her anger her hair had shifted from pink to red.
"What I expect is for you to talk to me. What I expect is for you to be open with me. I've always tried to respect the fact that there are things that you don't tell me, things you'd rather I didn't know, but you're closing me out now. And don't you dare try and tell me you aren't!" she cut across when he seemed about to say something.
"What do you think went through my mind that day that Sirius showed up in a great hurry and I was effectively thrown out? And to make it worse he shows for dinner last night and is all evasive when asked what he's been up to and if he's seen you. I know I may look like I don't have a lot going on upstairs but I know when someone is lying to me. Now what in the bloody hell are you not telling me?!"
"For god sake Nymphadora do I really need to tell you everything?" he asked his temper getting the better of him. "I have never lied to you, and if there are certain things that I don't wish to share with you then you should respect that. If something was going on with me that I felt you should know about then I would tell you."
Tonks stared at him feeling angry and hurt. Why couldn't he just trust her? There was nothing she wouldn't do for him, nothing she felt that she couldn't tell him. Why did he always have to keep himself so guarded?
"Fine. Don't tell me; I don't know why you find it so hard to trust me." They were practically glaring at each other by this point. "But if you want us to continue being an us then I suggest you figure it out. Until then I really would rather not see you."
She turned then and began to storm out of the room only tripping slightly over the dip in the floor that was the threshold.
Remus watched her leave feeling regret for his words and the fact that she thought he didn't trust her. He did, he just didn't want anything to happen to her. But to go on without her…the thought made him feel ill. Making a decision he was sure he would come to regret once he thought it through more he strode from the room quickly and out of the house.
She was half way up the lane already and had to run to catch her.
"Dora, wait."
Tonks stopped walking and turned slowly to face him. "Come to spout more bullshit?" she looked like she wanted to cry but was holding it in.
"No. You're right. There are a few things I need to tell you; would you please come back inside?"
After a moments hesitation she nodded and they headed back into his house. Once they had settled at the table and he had taken another large drink of whisky he proceeded to tell her everything. Why his parents had died, how Dumbledore had approached him to join the Order, how he had agreed. The missions he had been on in the almost eight weeks since finishing school. He didn't go into detail about these, she wasn't in the order after all, nor did he tell her that he had almost been killed that morning.
After he had finished Tonks didn't say anything for a while. She seemed to be thinking. "You could die." She finally said in the smallest voice he had ever heard from her. "I'm immensely proud of you for doing this, but…"she seemed to be stealing herself. "What am I saying? Any of us could die at any time with Voldemort and his vigilantly cronies running around." She shook her head and looked at him. "I want to join."
Seeing his frown, she added, "Not right now obviously. I know Dumbledore would never let me in I'm only sixteen. But after I'm finished school. Merlin knows this war will still probably be going on."
Remus didn't want to but he found himself agreeing with her. There seemed to be no end in sight to the mayhem that had taken over their world.
"If it's still going on, I'll mention it to Dumbledore." He conceded.
She nodded and reached across the table to take his hand. "Why did you feel you couldn't tell me? You know I won't tell anyone."
"I know Dora." He said quietly. "But…"
"You were afraid that something would happen to me if I found out," she surmised and he nodded. " So why did you tell me?"
"After our argument it felt like the right thing. I didn't mean what I said."
She smiled. "I know." She glanced over at the large clock that hung over by the door. It was designed to show the phases of the moon as well as the time. It was almost eleven at night.
"Can I stay here tonight?" she found herself asking.
He hesitated. "Won't your parents mind if you don't come home?"
She shook her head. "No. They won't even know. They're visiting dad's brother. I opted to stay home; he's a Muggle and never really took well to anything magical. They'll be back tomorrow evening."
Realizing then what his hesitation could be she stood and came around the table to sit in his lap and wrap her arms around him. "I don't hog the bed you know," she said softly. "Nor do I expect anything to happen, expect for a little snogging. I really have missed kissing you." Her face was very close to his now and so it was easy to lean forward and connect their lips. After so many weeks of not seeing each other or having physical contact it felt like they could happily stay sitting there forever in each others arms.
Finally they pulled apart and Remus said somewhat breathlessly, "you can stay."
Tonks let out a little squeal of happiness and leaned forward again to kiss him, cutting off his laugh at her reaction. This kiss was more intense then the previous ones and left them both gasping. Still locked in a deep embrace Tonks slowly rose to her feet and pulled him with her. She then began moving them out of the room, managing to not trip over the threshold like she usually did.
Remus didn't know where they were going, but at that moment he really didn't care. All he wanted to do was keep kissing her. Who knew when the next time they would see each other would be. He caught a glimpse of the living room then and realized they were nearing what he knew were the stairs when suddenly she fell back and pulled him with her. With a thud they landed at on the bottom landing.
"Oh, bugger." She cursed softly from her position under him.
"Are you ok?" he asked hoping he hadn't hurt her when he landed on her.
"Yeah," her eyes met his and she smiled cheekily. "I'd be better if you continued to kiss me though."
He laughed softly and brushed his lips over hers slightly causing a slight tingle to go down her spine. "You're incorrigible." He told her before kissing her face. Slowly he made his way back to her lips as she pulled him closer and began working her hands under the back of his shirt. It really wasn't that comfortable lying on the hard floor, she mused distractedly as he began kissing her neck slowly. But she didn't care, not when he was kissing her like that.
"We should move this upstairs." She said breathlessly. Somehow she had managed to get his shirt off and could now feel the slightly raised skin that indicated his scars.
Remus's amber eyes met hers then, his hair slightly in his face. He nodded his ascent and suddenly she felt nervous. Were they taking things to far? She loved him she knew, but…
He pulled her to her feet and silently they made their way up the stairs to his room. For a moment Tonks felt like running from the room and saying she had changed her mind and would sleep on the coach. Instead she turned and kissed him again before she could change her mind.
They were moving again, Remus vaguely realized as she maneuvered them further in to the room. His heart was pounding and he was sure she could here it. Definitely feel it.
They had reached the bed and she sunk down on to it pulling him down on top of her. They continued to kiss, now in a passionate frenzy.
Tonks became aware of his hands slowly making their way under her dress and up her back causing the dress to push up. Now's the time, her mind warned her. If you want to stop tell him now. The longing for him to touch her, skin to skin was getting stronger, taking over. She pulled away slightly.
Remus pulled back too so they were looking into each other's eyes. "Dora," he said hoarsely. "Do want to stop?" Both of them were breathing heavily.
She seemed unsure so he said gently. "I'll stop if you want me to. We don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with. I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you into anything."
Tonks shook her head slightly. "I don't. And I don't want you to stop."
He gazed deeply into her eyes then, just to be sure she really meant it and wasn't just saying it because she thought that was what he wanted. When he saw nothing but determination he leaned forward, caught her lips in a searing kiss and began pulling her dress up and over her.
The soft material moved over her head and off of her and Tonks realized that this felt right. She didn't need to be worried about what Remus would think of her. He loved her and she loved him, more then she had ever thought it would be possible to.
As he slowly trailed kisses from her neck down to her stomach, she let herself stop thinking and surrender to emotion.