Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed Chapter 18. I really appreciated them. This chapter was kind of tough because there was no Finchel interaction in this episode, but Rachel searching for her mom is something I would have liked to have seen her do with Finn, so I put some of that in this chapter. Hope you like the new chapter and review if you want me to keep going!

Chapter 19: Dream On

Mr. Schue arrived for Glee practice with a man Finn didn't recognize. He had a feeling he didn't like this guy.

"Okay, guys, listen up," Mr. Schue said. "This is Mr. Ryan. He's a member of the school board, and he would like to say a few words. I just want you guys to listen critically and know that what he's saying is just one of many opinions."

"Take out a piece of paper," Mr. Ryan said. "And on that paper, I want you to write down your biggest dream. A dream that means so much, you're afraid to admit it even to yourself." Finn took out a piece of paper and wrote down his dream. His dream was to be happy and successful. He was distracted by the sound of Mr. Ryan throwing something. "Your dream is never going to happen," Mr. Ryan said. "91% of you will spend your entire lives living in Allen County, Ohio. So unless you wrote down that your dream was to work for a mid-market health insurance provider or find an entry level job in an elderly care facility, you're going to be very disappointed."

Finn knew that Rachel was in the 9% that wouldn't be in Allen County forever. Would he, though?

"This is really depressing," Mercedes said.

"I'm going to guess that a lot of your dreams involve showbiz," Mr. Ryan told the class. "Well, let me tell you. Showbiz dreams are the most unrealistic of them all."

Finn noticed an upset look on Rachel's face. He knew Rachel wanted to be a huge star.

"But that's what I want to do with my life," Tina stuttered.

"Oh, look, I'm not trying to hurt your feelings," Mr. Ryan said. "I'm just trying to spare you disappointment."

Finn didn't like this guy, and he could tell Mr. Schue didn't, either. "I think we get your point."

"Aw, well, Schuester here's a prime example," Mr. Ryan said. "He used to have that glimmer of hope in his eyes that I can see right now in all of yours. But he couldn't make it happen for himself, so he now has to try and convince you all that it will happen for you. Guess what? His dream didn't work out. And neither will yours."

Mr. Schue pointed at the door. "Okay, you're done here."

"You would be wise to show me some respect," Mr. Ryan sneered.

Mr. Schue didn't budge. "You've said your piece. Now get out."

"Well, Schuester, I should thank you. You've made my decision about which program to cut a lot easier," Mr. Ryan said.

Cutting the glee club? This guy was like a male Sue Sylvester. The school board couldn't cut glee club. It was the best part of Finn's day.

x

Rachel couldn't get over what Bryan Ryan had said to them. He was going to cut glee club? He couldn't do that! She was disappointed enough that she didn't go to a performing arts school, but New Directions was helping her grow as a singer. Now she was in the dance studio, trying to get her mind off things as she practiced some ballet moves. Then she saw Jesse watching her. She thought that he was done with her.

"Hi," Jesse said.

"Hi. How was your spring break?" Rachel said.

"Good. It's good to be back. What were you just rehearsing?" Jesse asked.

So maybe they weren't broken up. "A guy came to Glee Club to talk to us about dreams," Rachel explained. "Luckily, I've known mine since I was four. I'm going to play three parts on Broadway— Evita, Funny Girl and Laurey in Oklahoma. I was just practicing her dream ballet with Curly. It's what I do when I'm feeling a little stressed." Well, there were other parts she wanted, too.

"That's not a dream," Jesse said. "A dream is something that fills up the emptiness inside. The one thing that you know if it came true, all the hurt would go away. You singing Don't Cry For Me Argentina in front of a sold-out crowd, isn't a fantasy. It's an inevitability."

He really thought so? "I thought you'd never come back," Rachel said.

"And miss all your drama? Never," Jesse said.

Rachel quickly changed and began to leave the studio as Jesse followed her out. "So what is it, your dream?"

"I don't know," Rachel said. She knew what it was. Somehow, she wanted all the ends to come together. She wanted to be successful, but at the same time, she wanted to have a family and friends and a nice house. She was afraid to admit that to Jesse though.

"Well, then go inside, find it and ask it what it's gonna take," Jesse said.

"Why are you pushing this?" Rachel asked.

"Because you're my girlfriend, and I want to know all your secrets. When you lie awake at night, what's missing?" Jesse asked.

Rachel knew that Finn was missing. She couldn't say that though. Jesse had just come back. She couldn't hurt him like this. She couldn't mention friends either. Jesse had so many friends it was hard to keep track of all of them. There was something that was safe to say. "My mom."

"Your mom? You mean like you want to meet her?" Jesse asked.

Rachel really just wished her mom wasn't such a mystery, though meeting her would be nice. "I just would like to know who she is. I don't really need to meet her or anything, but maybe just find out her name or something about her." She knew there was no way she'd be able to meet her mom. She wanted to, but she wasn't sure if her dads even knew where her mom was. "It's silly. It's not like it's going to happen or anything."

"Why?" Jesse asked.

"Well, just because my dad never told me anything, and I didn't want to ask them anything 'cause I didn't want to hurt their feelings," Rachel said. That was true. She'd always wondered about her mom and wanted to meet her. She had a feeling that if she said something to her dads, they'd take it the wrong way.

"So let's check it out without them knowing," Jesse said. "Do you know why I came back to school here? To win another national title and make all your dreams come true. If this is one of them, then I'm not going to stop until it happens."

Maybe Jesse was did care about Rachel. He had come back. He said he wanted Rachel to meet her mom. Rachel felt a stinge of guilt though. She was still longing for Finn.

x

"Hey," Rachel said.

"Hey," Finn said, looking up at Rachel. He was surprised that she was talking to him. He'd heard Jesse had come back and they were sort of back together. However, this was a sophomore study hall, so he didn't have to worry about Jesse butting in.

"I really hope the school board doesn't cut glee," Rachel said.

"I hope they don't either," Finn agreed. "I'd be so sad."

"Me too," Rachel said. "I'd really miss singing with you."

"So would I," Finn said. "Rach, do you think what he said was right? About our dreams never coming true?" He'd been thinking about that all night.

"I don't know," Rachel said.

It was the first time Finn had seen Rachel not so confident. "What did you put down for your dream?"

"Well, I wrote that I wanted to be a huge star, but there's more than that," Rachel said. "I want to be successful, but I want a family and friends and to be loved and to know my mom."

That was pretty similar to Finn's dream. The family part... he was really hoping that they'd have a family together. Something else stood out to him too. "Your mom? You've never met her?"

"No," Rachel said softly. "I don't even know her name or what she looks like or where she lives."

"I'm sorry, Rachel," Finn said. "I miss my dad, too. At least my mom's told me about him and showed me pictures of him." He thought about how lucky Rachel was to still have the chance to meet her mom. He really wanted to meet his dad.

"Well, I'm afraid to tell my dads," Rachel told Finn. "I was worried they'd get insulted."

"I'm sure there's a way to find out for yourself," Finn said.

"How?" Rachel asked.

Finn thought for a moment. "Rachel, you're so talented, your mom has to have extraordinary talent, too."

"Are you saying you think I'm the daughter of some big star?" Rachel asked.

"It would be a way for them to make a little extra money," Finn said. Sure, it sounded crazy, but Rachel was too talented to have just gotten it from anyone.

"Do you think there's a possibility that Barbra's my mom?" Rachel asked.

"It's a possibility," Finn said. "Let's see if she or any other big stars were in Ohio around the time of your birth."

x

Rachel couldn't believe what she and Finn had discovered. She wasn't going to tell Jesse that Finn had helped her though. She knew he didn't like Finn. Still, she thought he'd be impressed with what they'd discovered. Too many pieces fit together for it not to be real. Rachel went up to Jesse with some things she'd printed. "I found her."

Jesse looked surprised. "Your mother? Where?"

"In the library," Rachel said proudly. "I've been researching her all morning, and as I suspected, my intuition has been proven correct. My mother is Broadway legend Patti Lupone. I've always had a deep connection to Ms. Lupone, her choice of roles and songs. I decided to do a little math to see if her being my mother was even possible. I was born December 18, 1994. 1994 was a big year for Mother. She was a sensation in Pal Joey. But that was in New York; I was born in Ohio, you say. Well, Mother took many breaks from the show to tour with Mandy Patinkin. That April found them at the EJ Thomas Hall in Akron, Ohio, for a standing room performance, nine months before I was born."

Jesse didn't look convinced. "Are you saying that your fathers impregnated Patti LuPone in the Marriott in Akron? Was Mandy Patinkin in on this?"

Rachel wasn't so sure, but she did like the idea of Patti LuPone being her mom. She handed Jesse a photo. "All you have to do is look at pictures of her in her performance in Master Class in 1996. Look at the pain in her eyes and the hurt she's feeling from giving up her obviously talented little girl."

"One question: What was in it for her?" Jesse asked.

Rachel and Finn hadn't considered that. "Money, a sense of charity for those in need? I don't know. Guess you're right. Do you want to hear my research that proves that my mother is Bernadette Peters?" They'd done some research and there were other possibilities.

"Why are you so afraid about finding the truth?" Jesse asked.

Rachel sighed. "I don't know, I guess I just don't want to think that my mother is some teenage trollop like Quinn, or worse, some skanky girl who would do anything for money, including giving me up."

"Why does it have to be one of those choices?" Jesse asked. "Maybe she had a really good reason for doing what she did. We need to do a real investigation. Like, CSI real. Do you have any baby stuff in your house, something that might give us a clue?"

"My fathers kept every piece of paper related to my life in files and cabinets in our basement. It's sort of a little Rachel Berry museum," Rachel said.

Jesse looked encouraged. "Perfect. We'll start there."

x

After school, Rachel came upstairs with some boxes from the basement to go through with Jesse.

"What took you so long? Your dads will be home soon," Jesse said.

"There was so much stuff in the basement, it's like a shrine," Rachel said. "It's creepy and flattering at the same time. But these boxes had the earliest dates on them, so..." She handed one box to Jesse and began going through the other. "My baby teeth."

Jesse held up an ultrasound photo. "Look."

"Is that me?" Rachel asked.

"Looks like you," Jesse said. "I think you're in fifth position."

Rachel continued going through the box. "Makes sense. My dad says they used to play Vivaldi into my mother's belly. Put that there." She found a trophy. "My first singing competition. I came in first place."

Jesse looked at the date. "You were eight months old."

Rachel kept going through the box. "I was very musically verbal. Cute little baby shoes."

Jesse held up a tape. "What's this?" He read what it said. "From Mother to Daughter."

Rachel took the tape from Jesse. "Oh, my God, she wrote this. She held this in her hand." Then Jesse took it out of her hands. "What are you doing?"

"Playing the tape," Jesse said.

"No!" Rachel protested.

"Why not?" Jesse asked. "She wanted you to hear this."

Rachel was beginning to feel overwhelmed. "I'm not ready. Look, this is all happening too fast. What if she's singing on the tape? What if she's terrible? Or worse, what if she's better than me?"

"I can't believe we're so close to your dream coming true, and you're running away from it," Jesse said.

"No. It's, it's my choice. It's my life, and I'm not ready," Rachel said. "Jesse, I think that you should go."

As soon as Jesse was gone, Rachel picked up her phone and caled Finn. She knew he was the one who really understood. "Hello?" Finn said.

"Hey," Rachel said. "Finn, I've done some thinking, and maybe we were wrong. Maybe my mom isn't one of those Broadway stars we were researching. I think she might just be a regular person."

"Yeah, I guess we were being a little crazy when we looked up those Broadway stars," Finn admitted.

"Finn, Jesse came over and we were looking through some boxes," Rachel said. "I found a cassette tape that my mom made for me."

"Seriously?" Finn said.

"Yeah," Rachel said. "Finn, I'm so nervous. This is really happening."

"Look, how about I come over this weekend and we listen to it together?" Finn suggested. "That'll give you some time to get ready and you won't be alone."

Jesse had pressured her, but Finn knew how to make her feel better. "Thanks, Finn."

x

After school the next day, Rachel came home and found Jesse in her room. How had he even gotten in the house? "Jesse, what are you doing here?"

Jesse went to Rachel's cassette player with the tape. "I said that I was going to help you make your dreams come true."

Rachel had made plans with Finn for listening to this tape. "No. I'm not ready."

Jesse put the tape in the player. "Yes, you are." He left the room as the tape began.

"Hi baby," a woman's voice said. "It's your mom. I think this pretty much says it all." This was it. This was Rachel's mom. This was what her voice sounded like. Then some music began, and Rachel's mom began to sing. At some points, she stopped, as if she wanted Rachel to sing those parts.

Rachel's mom: I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high and life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Rachel: Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung
No wine untasted
Rachel's mom (Rachel): But the tigers come at night (But the tigers come at night)
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart (As they tear your hope apart)
As they turn your dream to shame
Rachel: And still I dream she'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather
Rachel and her mom: I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream
I dreamed

Rachel had just sang with her mom. Her mom was so talented, and she could tell from the way her mom was talking on the tape that her mom loved her. Now more than ever, she wanted to meet her mom.

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