Thanks for all the review on Chapter 20. I appreciate them! This has never been a favorite episode of mine, so it was one of the harder chapters to write, but I'm overall happy with how it turned out. So I was wondering, what would you guys think if I wrote a chapter or two to fill the gaps between Season 1 and Season 2? Since there's a few months gap, I thought that might be fun. Anyway, enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think!

Chapter 21: Funk

Finn walked into the auditorium with the rest of the New Directions. Rachel had said it was an emergency meeting. He wasn't expecting what they found: Jesse standing on the stage with Vocal Adrenaline. Well, maybe this was why he hadn't been coming to practice. "Jesse? What are you doing up there with them?" Rachel asked.

"I've transferred back to Carmel High, Rachel," Jesse said in his usual snide voice. "I'm sorry that it's come to this, but you guys were awful to me. You never accepted me, you never listened to my clearly superior ideas."

Finn had never wanted to punch Jesse more. "Why are you here in our auditorium?"

"The blogs and the chat rooms say that we're finished, and that you guys are ripe to topple us. We just wanted to show you a something we came up with a few days ago to see if you agree with that assessment," Jesse said. With that, he launched into a number with Vocal Adrenaline. Finn had to admit that no matter how rude or obnoxious they were, they were talented, and that was all that would matter to the judges at Regionals.

New Directions was in trouble.

"It's a Carmel High tradition," Artie explained as the group walked back to the choir room. "They psych out the competition a few weeks before the big show. They call it a funkification. Meaning they show us what they've got, and we spiral into a deep black funk."

Finn tried to stay active, but he was so worried about Rachel. He knew she was embarrassed by what Jesse had done. "Yeah. Yeah, we used to do the same thing to other football teams. You know, try and get inside their head before a big game, pull little pranks to intimidate them."

"Yeah, well, the difference was our football team sucked. Those guys are golden," Puck pointed out.

"Come on, keep your heads up, guys. It's going to take more than that to get us into a funk," Kurt encouraged.

There was more. As the group walked into the choir room, toilet paper was hanging from the walls.

x

"Finn!" Finn turned and saw Puck walking toward him. Finn hadn't spoken to Puck since Sectionals. If anything, he was more mad at Puck than at Quinn. Puck had been the one who'd gone after the girl he was dating.

"What?" Finn asked, trying his best to be civil.

"I need you to help me get revenge on Vocal Adrenaline," Puck said. "Putting toilet paper in our choir room? They can't just get away with that!"

"Well, what did you have in mind?" Finn asked. He had to admit, he was mad at Vocal Adrenaline, but he was even more mad at Jesse.

"Come with me to Carmel," Puck said. "I know what to do."

"All right," Finn said. Even though he was mad at Puck, he wanted to get revenge on Jesse. Vocal Adrenaline didn't matter as much.

After school that evening, Finn and Puck drove to Carmel High where Puck told Finn his idea - they were going to slash the tires of the Vocal Adrenaline members' cars. Finn didn't think this was such a good idea, as it was destroying property, but then he remembered Jesse and agreed to it. Jesse's car wasn't too hard to find - the license plate was JSJBWAY. Finn made a special effort with that car, cutting deep into the tire.

x

Unfortunately, the prank didn't go so well. The next morning, Finn and Puck were called down to Principal Figgins' office, where Principal Figgins, Coach Sylvester, Mr. Schue and Ms. Corcoran were waiting. Why was Ms. Corcoran here? Had it been discovered?

"Finn, Puck, I heard you two talking yesterday about going to Carmel for revenge," Mr. Schue said. "Something suspicious happened last night. Do you two have anything to do with that?"

Oh no. Finn knew this wasn't a good idea. "Yeah, I did it," Puck said. "And I'm proud. All I did was step up and be a man. They got what was coming to them."

"A few of my students TP'd your choir room," Ms. Corcoran said. "You slashed the tires on the Range Rovers of all 26 of my performers. Those were gifts for our win at Sectionals. That's 200 times 26 times four equals... I don't have a calculator."

"I'm sorry, you bought all your kids Range Rovers?" Mr. Schue asked. Finn was thinking the same thing.

"We have a very active booster club," Ms. Corcoran said.

Will Schuester: Look, nobody got hurt. It was a harmless prank.

"That's what they said about a young man in Chicago in 1871, who thought he'd play a harmless prank on the dairy cow of one Mrs. O'Leary. He successfully ignited its flatulence and a city burned, William. That young terrorist went on to become the first gay president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln," Coach Sylvester said, making as little sense as ever.

"Enough. These students have committed a felony. They are hereby expelled," Principal Figgins declared.

Expelled? That couldn't happen!

"Look, I don't want anyone to get expelled," Ms. Corcoran said. "I'm not going to press charges as long as you pay for the damage. You can take it out of the glee club budget."

"That'll bankrupt the glee club. We don't have that kind of money," Mr. Schue said.

Finn had to think fast. "We'll get jobs. Give us a month. We'll pay you back, Ms. Corcoran, I promise."

"Fine," Ms. Corcoran agreed.

Finn just hoped somewhere would hire him.

x

Rachel couldn't believe what Jesse had done to her. She was hoping that someone was interested in her, but the team had been right all along. Jesse was only trying to mess with her and the team. And the worst part was, she could have been with Finn this whole time, but she couldn't because of Jesse.

Mr. Schue called Rachel into his office. Rachel went in, not really thinking about Regionals.

"You seem to be taking this Jesse thing pretty hard," Mr. Schue said.

"I want him to be eaten by a lion," Rachel said.

"Jesse cared about you," Mr. Schue said.

"No, he didn't. Our entire relationship was just some diabolical plan. They knew if they broke my heart close enough to the competition, that I'd lose my will to live, and then New Directions would have no chance at winning Regionals. It's textbook, you destroy the heart of the team's heart and you destroy the team," Rachel said.

"Well, I'm really sorry," Mr. Schue said. "Do you think you'll be okay at Regionals?"

The truth was, Rachel wasn't sure. But she knew the ultimate revenge on Jesse would be to beat him at Regionals. "Yeah, I'll be fine."

Her mother had told her that she wouldn't go soft on them at Regionals. Rachel now knew she was right. Her mother and her now ex-boyfriend - who else was going to hurt her?

x

"Right, left, and flip, okay?" Terri Schuester said, demonstrating to Puck and Finn how to fold some sheets. The only job Finn and Puck had managed to get was at Sheets N Things. This was far from the type of job Finn wanted, but he had to pay back for the tires, so it would have to do.

"Can I go shirtless under this apron?" Puck asked.

Terri looked annoyed. "Look, I only hired you two losers because I'm desperate to increase my quarterly sales and you'll work for less than immigrants. As I'm you know, Mr. Schuester and I are now officially divorced. I mean, I'm sure he talks about it all the time. Anyway, I'm on my own now. And I need to make manager by the end of the year so that I can maintain my lifestyle."

Another associate named Howard Bamboo came over. "Terri, that guy who gave me Bell's palsy is back again today."

"So, help him. He's our best customer," Terri said before leaving.

Howard looked at Finn and Puck. "You need to go help him."

Finn already had an idea that he didn't want to help this guy. "But she just told you to do it."

"I have got seniority over you two losers, which means you have to do what I say," Howard said.

"Well, then I need to kick your ass," Puck said.

Mr. Ryerson came over to Howard, Puck and Finn. Finn knew why Howard didn't want to deal with them. "Bamboo! You two! Apron boys!"

"You're not gonna fondle us, are you, Mr. Ryerson?" Puck asked. Finn was thinking the same thing.

"I've recently redone my bathroom as an homage to Miss Jayne Mansfield," Mr. Ryerson said. "Pink! It's all pink! This is amaranth pink. I need rose pink."

"But this is all the pink that we have," Finn protested.

"Wrong answer," Mr. Ryerson said. "Did they change the name of this place to Losers N' Things? Did everyone in the whole world die so they had to give these jobs to you two morons? And where's my Muzak?! How am I supposed to shop without my Kenny G? Let's go! Crank it!"

Puck picked up his guitar and then turned to Finn so they could perform a song for the customers.

Puck: In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey
Butane in my veins and I'm out to cut the junkie
With the plastic eyeballs, spray-paint the vegetables
Dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose
Finn: Kill the headlights and put it in neutral
Stock car flamin' with a loser and the cruise control
Baby's in Reno with the Vitamin D
Got a couple of couches, sleep on the love seat
Puck: Someone keeps saying I'm insane
To complain about a shotgun wedding
And a stain on my shirt
Finn: Don't believe everything that you breathe
You get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve
So shave your face with some mace in the dark
Finn and Puck: Savin' all your food stamps
Aand burnin' down the trailer park
Yo.
Finn: Cut it.
Finn and Puck: Soy, un perdedor
I'm a loser, baby
So why don't you kill me?
So why don't you kill me?

Terri came over to Finn and Puck. "I thought Jews were supposed to be smart. Go restack the space heaters."

Finn noticed an unfolded sheet. He knew that they had a specific way that they wanted the sheets folded, so he went over to Terri. "Mrs. Schuester, can you show me how to fold this sham again?"

Terri gave Finn a weird look. "Mrs. Schuester?"

"Oh. I'm sorry. Yes, sure. Of course. How old are you?" Terri asked.

Why was she asking him this? "Sixteen."

"Oh," Terri said.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Schuester, my heart's not in this," Finn admitted. "This whole Vocal Adrenaline thing's really getting me down, and we have to come up with this funk number for Glee, and I have like, less-than-zero ideas, and I..."

"Glee?!" Terri exclaimed. "God! This club is like toxic mold on my life. I'm sorry. What am I doing? This is exactly how I destroyed my marriage. I have this compulsive need to crush other people's dreams."

Finn knew now why it hadn't worked out for her and Mr. Schue. "Yeah, that's what Mr. Schue said." Then he remembered that Terri was his boss, so he had to pretend to like her. "I mean, I think you're awesome, though. I mean, look how hard you've been working to try and help me fold a sham. Well... and you'd be a total MILF if it weren't for the whole faking-the-mother thing."

"You're very sweet," Terri said. "You could be my second chance. I'm gonna change. I don't have to stay in this post-divorce funk forever, right?"

"Yeah. Yeah, right, I guess," Finn said. What was she doing?

"Well, then I am going to help you with your Glee assignment. Okay, you said you needed a funk song, right?" Terri asked.

Finn nodded. "Yeah."

"Okay, so, we'll type funk into the iTunes, and we'll see what comes up," Terri said.

"I never thought of that," Finn said.

"Oh, Howard, I'm promoting Finn to assistant assistant manager. You'll report to him from now on. Do you have a problem with that?" Terri said when Howard came in.

Finn had a feeling she was up to something. "Wow, thanks." He was still going to be careful.

x

Rachel was walking through the halls when her phone rang. She saw that it was Jesse. Maybe he was apologizing? "Hello?"

"Meet me out in the parking lot," Jesse said.

Rachel figured that the parking lot was a safe enough place to meet Jesse. She went to the parking lot where Jesse waved to her. As Rachel walked toward Jesse, she felt something hit her in the back. Then she felt something else hit her. Members of Vocal Adrenaline began appearing and throwing eggs at her.

Jesse looked on, almost looking please. Everyone was right! He was just messing with her.

"I hear you're a vegan, Berry," one of the girls from Vocal Adrenaline said. "The souls of those poor egg fetuses are all on your conscience now." She turned to Jesse. "Do it, Jesse. Are you with us or not?"

Jesse came over to Rachel. "Do it. Break it like you broke my heart," Rachel said.

"I loved you." Jesse took the egg and smashed it on Rachel's head. With that, he and the other members of Vocal Adrenaline drove away.

Rachel just stood there in the parking lot, feeling humiliated and hurt. What was wrong with these people? Was winning the only thing that mattered to them?

"Rachel!" Rachel turned and saw Finn.

"What happened?" Finn asked.

"Jesse did this to me," Rachel said. "Well, him and Vocal Adrenaline."

"What the hell!" Finn shouted.

"Yeah," Rachel said.

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up," Finn said, leading Rachel to his car.

"Finn, I can't believe it," Rachel said.

"I'm going to take you home to get you cleaned," Finn said.

"I just can't believe him," Rachel sighed.

"He isn't as bad as I thought he was," Finn said. "He's worse."

Finn couldn't be more right. "He is," Rachel agreed.

Finn and Rachel drove to Rachel's house quietly and they went straight to the bathroom. Finn washed the eggs out of Rachel's hair and helped find some clean clothes.

"Finn, thanks," Rachel said. She gave him a smile. It was nice to know that after everything, Finn still had her back.

"You're welcome," Finn said. "You know I'm always here for you. I'd stay longer, but I have to go to work. Call me if you need me, okay?"

Rachel smiled. "Okay." Leave it to Jesse to mess things up, but leave it to Finn to make things better.

x

"Rachel, is it true?" Mercedes asked. It was the next day, and Rachel was arriving at Glee. She guessed this meant that Finn had told what Jesse did.

"Now, nightmares of all of the mothers of the little baby chicks coming after me for revenge," Rachel admitted.

Puck jumped up. "Oh, this is bull! Finn, Mike, Matt, come with me."

"Right on. It's time for less talking and more punching," Finn said as he and the other boys got up.

Mr. Schue came in. "Hey, what's going on?"

"We're on our way to go all Braveheart on Vocal Adrenaline," Finn said.

"Guys, violence is never the answer," Mr. Schue said.

"It is when the question is 'What's the best way to mess up that Jesse kid's face?!'" Puck shouted.

"Mr. Schue, Rachel's one of us. We're the only ones who get to humiliate her," Kurt said.

"Stop! Get back here and sit down! Look, I know from experience that making someone else suffer doesn't make your pain go away. You're all amazing, no matter what Vocal Adrenaline says or does. We just need to find a way to remind ourselves of that," Mr. Schue said.

"We can't just let Vocal Adrenaline get away with turning Rachel into an omelet," Finn shouted.

"We're not. Rachel, dial Jesse's number on your phone," Mr. Schue said. Rachel dialed the number and handed the phone to Mr. Schue. "Jesse St. James? Will Schuester here. You and Vocal Adrenaline need to meet at our auditorium Friday, 3:00 sharp." He handed the phone to Rachel. "We're going to show them we can something that they can't do."

x

Mr. Schue had revealed to them that Vocal Adrenaline couldn't do funk. That Friday, New Directions put together a funk number to scare them with. At 3 sharp, Vocal Adrenaline were in the auditorium, and Rachel spoke to them. "Thanks for coming. After your brazen escalation of our growing dispute, which we were willing to put to rest, we decided the only way to truly funkify you is to show you the one thing we know you can't do. So enjoy."

New Directions performed the number, and Rachel noticed the horrified looks on Vocal Adrenaline's faces as they left the stage. "See you punks at Regionals," Puck called.

"Did you see Jesse's face?" Finn whispered to Rachel.

"I did," Rachel said. He had the most horrified look. "And I can't wait to see it when we beat him!"

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