And (drumroll please) here's the double update! Ta DA!
Not so silent (guest): I don't think I've heard that song; I'll have to give it a listen.
Me (guest): Well, you know, Percabeth isn't necessarily a bad thing. But yes, too much of it kind of adds to the yawn factor. And the part where you kind of go mad because of fluff overload. I try not to kill my story with cuteness-am I doing an okay job? Oh, and I actually don't have a personal Ipad/Ipod/Iphone-I have one for school, but they have anything relatively fun blocked. They even have fanfiction blocked, which totally sucks. Plus, i don't understand Clash of Clans. My friends both play it, and I just shake my head at them. But then, I didn't understand Flappy Bird or Angry Birds or any of the once super popular games either.
daughterofzeus911: Yeah, I've seen the cover-I noticed their absence too. It's freaking me out a little. I haven't read the sneak peek, but I finally got to read the Staff of Serapis-Elfie is the bestest friend ever and got me the special edition Mark of Athena (which is the only HoO book I didn't have, btw) with the Staff of Serapis inside for my birthday. Hands down, I'd have to say it's probably my favorite birthday gift so far.
Laughy taffy (guest): I am really sorry about all this, and the no heads up thing makes me feel even worse, but I didn't really get a chance this time. I am going to try, for sure, to update at least on Wednesday, and maybe even double update, so look then.
Sophhascoconuts (guest): Usually, yes, but as I explained in the previous chapter's author's note, I've been having difficulties. Also, about the secrets between Percy and Thalassa-I've been meaning to work them in, I really have. I'm hoping to reveal them in the next Percy chapter-not the one after this Jason chapter, but the Percy chapter after that. When he's (hopefully) getting some rest, only to be greeted by nightmares. Poor Percy.
Emma (guest): Aww, thanks! And I actually have a bunch of book ideas of my own, and there's one that I've even started writing that's about (guess what?) Greek mythology! It's very much my own thing, though, so no worries about copying Rick. I hope to get something published before age 18-so I have three years to work on it. That should be enough, right? ;)
Guest (aka John Michael): Thanks! Christianity means a lot to me. And I'm glad you think I'm a funny, semi-crazy person-that's me to a T! Although sometimes I get very philosophical and strange...although the whole strange thing is debatable-some would say I'm always strange! ;p
RMS Titanic (guest): I'm all right, you're welcome, and thanks! You have epic coolness also!
HoOisawesome (guest): Well, I think it gives my fanfic a little more oomph, don't you? More pizaz, or whatever. It makes it seem more...real. And it makes you guys even more hooked on it, 'cuz you have to find out whether or not I kill Percy...*evil grin*
Rajell Cellar (guest): My parents didn't really care-but I don't think there's any reason why you shouldn't have one, to be honest. Fanfiction is completely free, and it's a pretty secure website, too. I haven't had any problems with my account or anything, and as long as you're safe with your information, I highly doubt anyone will track you down using your account and become your creepy stalker. Also, fanfiction offers educational opportunites-you get to develop your writing and receive feedback from people who aren't obligated to tell you it's perfect. Constructive criticism goes a long way, and writing on fanfiction has improved my writing a lot.
shreylakhanpal4: I know, everyone wants to know about the 'marshmallow incident.' You'll find out soon, I promise!
17wilsonh: Oh, my! Dear, dear, dear! *says with heavy southern accent, fanning face* The scandal!
Enjoy! Oh, and I'll hopefully be updating Five Ways to Die soon-I know I warned you guys against reading it, but PLEASE READ IT! I want to know what you all think...
Chapter LXXIV
Jason
Jason has seen some pretty weird things in his life. But today is like an overload of weirdness.
First, they meet flying snakes. Then they fight giant mutant owls. A little later, he could have sworn he saw a black deer flying low over the trees. All the craziness is making him edgy.
So, when Frank suddenly pops out of the ground directly in front of them like some possessed daisy, it isn't really his fault that he nearly beheads the guy before he realizes who it is.
"Whoa!" Frank shouts, ducking beneath Jason's Imperial Golden blade.
"Oh, sorry, Frank." Jason apologizes sheepishly. "I didn't realize it was you."
"Really, though, man," Percy starts, stepping forward and clapping Frank on the shoulder, "You might want to try and warn someone the next time you're going to pop out of the ground like that."
Frank makes a face. He looks queasy. "Don't worry, I'm not planning on doing it again. That was weird."
"Weirder than having your body turned into hundreds of white bubbles that then traveled over a hundred miles an hour to an underwater palace made of hot pink coral?" Percy asks cheerfully.
Frank smiles weakly. "I wouldn't really know, seeing as that hasn't happened to me, but no, probably not weirder than that."
Jason looks closer at Frank's face, studying him. Something seems...off. Wrong.
Frank's skin is paler than a ghost, and his eyes look haunted-almost like Percy and Annabeth whenever they think about Tartarus.
"Frank, what happened down there?" Jason asks suspiciously.
"A lot." He replies, sighing. "But Periclymenus told me some things...and he gave me a new bow, see?" He holds up a bow made of gold for them to see, and Jason's not sure how he didn't notice it before. The thing is ridiculously detailed, carved with hundreds of different symbols and pictures. And there's a new quiver on Frank's back with matching arrows.
"How does it bend if it's made of metal?" Percy wonders out loud, echoing Jason's own thoughts.
"Magic?" Frank answers uncertainly. "I don't know, but Periclymenus said it would never miss. And if an enemy tries to use it, they're not going to be happy."
"Does it have some sort of defense mechanism, then?" Jason asks curiously.
"Sort of." Frank replies. "It heats up so that it's glowing white hot and burns the hands of any enemies that try to use it. But it won't burn me; I was even holding it when Periclymenus showed me."
"That's really cool." Jason admits, leaning over to look closer at the bow.
Percy is already disenchanted with the bow, though, and is studying Frank's face. "Frank, what happened? Besides meeting Periclymenus, I mean."
Frank pales even further, and Jason straightens back up to hear his answer. "What do you mean?" He stammers, avoiding Percy's question.
"Come on, man, I know you better than that. Something's up. What is it?" Percy replies.
Jason's surprised once again by Percy-he's a lot more observant than anyone gives him credit for.
"Um." Frank says, his voice shaky. "Well-"
But just then, a roar shatters the silence-the exact one Jason and Percy heard earlier, except very, very close. Too close for comfort.
"What was that?" Frank asks.
"Better not to find out." Percy replies.
Frank takes a deep breath and seems to calm himself. Some color comes back into his skin, anyway, and his eyes look more determined than haunted. "I'll tell you guys later." He says, glancing into the woods where the roar came from. "Right now, I think we all agree that we need to get away from here."
"Too late." Percy replies, pointing at the edge of the trees. "Ugly's already here."
Jason turns apprehensively to where he's pointing, tightening his grip on his sword. The bushes on the treeline rustle and shake, and Jason feels his nerves building the way they always do when he faces an unknown enemy.
Then, it happens. Out steps a terrifying, fire-breathing...Chihuahua.
Jason stares at it in confusion. When the Chihuahua does nothing more than cock its head to the side like a curious puppy, he turns back to Percy. "A Chihuahua? Really?"
But Percy's still tensed for battle, staring hard at the dog. "That's not a Chihuahua." He mutters grimly.
The Chihuahua immediately turns its head to look at Percy instead of Jason, and starts growling viciously, the fur along its spine standing straight up like a mohawk.
"I don't think he likes you very much." Jason observes.
"You think?" Percy replies sarcastically. "That thing almost killed me on my first quest. And it's the only monster that I didn't kill. I've had plenty of hard fights, but this was the only one unfinished."
"What happened?" Jason asks.
"Him and his mom cornered me at the top of the St. Louis Arch. I ended up jumping through the side and falling into the river." Percy explains.
Frank looks at him in surprise. "You mentioned that when you were in Alaska. Not the monster, but falling from the Arch. I wondered what could have made you fall."
Percy nods. "Well, you're looking at it." He gestures to the Chihuahua, which is still growling at him, foam dripping from its black lips. "One thing doesn't add up, though."
"What?" Jason asks.
Percy glances at him without turning away from the Chihuahua. "The first time I met him-and his mom-it was because Zeus sent them. But why would he send them to attack us now, when we're on a quest to save Olympus-again?"
"Well, it helps if we've changed sides, deary." A feminine voice says from the trees. Then a fat old lady waddles out of the trees.
"Echidna." Percy greets her, his voice grim. "Long time no see."
"Isn't an echidna an anteater?" Frank wonders out loud.
The fat lady's expression immediately turns murderous, but instead of her skin turning red with anger, it turns green-she's covered in scales. Her pupils turn to snake-like slits, and she hisses, a forked tongue flickering from her lips.
"Why must everyone insist on bringing that up? Curse Australia for naming that horrible animal after me!" She screams angrily. "For that, demigod, you must die."
Frank looks offended-and a little pale, still, but Percy just waves his hand impatiently.
"Yeah, yeah. Death threats. Woop-de-doo. They're getting really boring, don't you think, Jason, Frank?" Percy asks.
Jason shrugs and nods. "A little, yeah. Every monster we meet, it's the same thing. Death threat after death threat."
"And then they're the ones that get killed." Percy adds. "It's so irritatingly predictable."
Echidna glares at him. "Would you rather we just attacked, then?"
Percy shrugs nonchalantly. "Actually...yes. It'd save a lot of time."
"Who are you, anyway?" Jason interrupts, studying Echidna. The name is irritatingly familiar, but for some reason, he can't quite remember it.
Echidna howls in rage. "I am the Mother of all Monsters, wife of Typhon, the Great and Terrible Echidna!"
Jason nods thoughtfully. "Oh. So you're that Echidna."
She glares at him for several moments. Then she smiles-a gruesome grin that reveals pointed, stained teeth. "You heard them, sonny, they want us to go ahead and attack. Try not to let Jackson escape this time-although I have no doubt you'll kill him this time. You were very angry when he got away years ago, weren't you, sonny?"
The Chihuahua growls louder in answer, and then it starts to change. It grows, first to the size of a dog, and then to a lion, until it's back brushes the branches of the trees. The growl turns to a low roar. It has the head of a lion with a blood-caked mane, the body and hooves of a giant goat, and a diamondback rattlesnake for a tail that grows right out of its shaggy rear. The rhinestone collar around its neck, complete with an enormous dog tag, was now easily readable-CHIMERA-RABID, FIRE-BREATHING, POISONOUS-IF FOUND, PLEASE CALL TARTARUS-EXT. 954.
And Jason understands. Not a Chihuahua-a Chimera.
"Yikes." Frank says, staring up at the monster's face.
"Ditto." Jason replies, clenching his sword nervously.
"Don't worry, guys. I only lost the first time because I made two mistakes-one of which was that I forgot about the tail." Percy reassures them.
Frank swallows. "What was the other?"
"I aimed for its neck." He replies grimly.
Jason winces. The rhinestone collar would serve as the ultimate armor-his sword would have been easily deflected, giving the Chimera time to strike back while he regained his balance.
Suddenly, the lion head of the Chimera opens his mouth, roaring, and his throat glows molten red.
"Move!" Percy shouts, sprinting sideways.
Jason really wants to ask why, but he knows better than to question an ally in the middle of a fight. Doing so usually ends with death. He lunges to the right, and Frank does the same to the left, just before a column of flame shoots from the lion's mouth right where they'd all been standing.
When he straightens back up, Jason expects to see Frank backing away from the monster in terror-the guy has a horrible fear of fire, for some reason unknown to Jason. But instead, he sees Frank standing to the side a little-where he ended up when he moved-only the slightest bit paler. He draws a shuddering breath and takes a more steady defensive stance-the fire doesn't seem to scare him as it used to, leaving Jason to wonder, once again, what happened in the tomb.
"Hey, Percy?" Jason calls. "Got any ideas on how to kill this thing without getting bitten or barbecued?"
"Attack together." Percy replies. "Isolate the lion's head and the snake tail-and whatever you do, don't try to behead it!"
"Got it!" Jason answers, and together, the three of them charge at the Chimera-Jason head on, and Frank and Percy on either side to keep the snake from biting.
Jason slashes at the monster's face-a Greek technique, but it works-leaving a deep scratch across its nose and making it close its mouth. Frank thrusts at one of its goat legs, but it scrambles sideways at the last minute, leaving Percy to make a hasty retreat to avoid getting knocked over by its goat body.
The monster opens its mouth to breathe fire again-but before it can, Percy yells, and water comes roaring through the trees, drenching Jason, but also effectively preventing the lion from barbecuing him.
"Thanks!" Jason calls, wincing and trying not to cover his ears while the lion wails like a dying cat, shaking the water from its fur.
"No problem!" Percy calls back.
The Chimera retreats, snorting water out of its nose, and rubs its face against its goat body, just like a house cat, before lifting its head back up and glaring at Percy. The snake tail whips around agitatedly behind it, also glaring with its snakey eyes at Percy and hissing. The lion head roars, echoing through the trees and sending all the birds in the forest flying out of the trees.
"Attack them, sonny!" Echidna screeches. "Kill Percy Jackson!"
The Chimera charges forward, its goat hooves stomping the forest floor with enough force that it sounds more like a horse stampede than one monster galloping towards them.
Jason has to throw himself sideways and roll to avoid getting trampled, but he takes the opportunity to slash at the monster's legs, leaving a deep gash on one of them.
Percy and Frank aren't as lucky, though-both of them get tossed aside. Frank just lands on the ground, even if it does wind him, but Percy gets tossed against the side of the beehive tomb, hard, and Riptide goes spinning out of his grip.
Jason knows it'll eventually return to Percy's pocket, and Percy must have faith that it'll happen soon, because he steps back into the battle without it.
As brave as that is, it's also impulsive and a little stupid-going against Annabeth's direct orders not to do anything impulsive or stupid. Of course, that's the thing with being impulsive-it's a split second thing that you don't really take the time to think through.
Percy does pretty decent unarmed, though, and when the lion's head opens its mouth to try and breathe fire again, he punches it in the throat, leaving it to hack and cough like it has a hairball.
It kind of makes Jason want to laugh, but he knows that would be unwise in the middle of a fight-so he limits it to a grin. Percy steps back for a second to reach into his pocket-apparently Riptide returned.
And then, of course, things go just the smallest bit wrong-the snake tail swings around and strikes at Percy before he has time to uncap Riptide.
If Percy hadn't raised his arm to block it at the last minute, the bite would have been instantly fatal. Instead, the rattlesnake sinks its fangs into Percy's right arm, with his fist still clenched around Riptide in pen form, sending its venom coursing through Percy's veins.
Wow, Percy just has the worst luck, doesn't he?
I love you, don't fight over golden apples, enjoy summer, we should totally form our own Camp Half-Blood summer camp, and GO HOOSIERS!
(Sorry, little burst of state pride there-is anyone else from Indiana? I feel lonely...)