Vignette 5 - The Farm Boy and the Bastard

Just inside the western city gate of Gariland, early evening

"We'll stop at our barracks tonight. I'll speak to the Headmaster and explain about you, Argath. Almost all of the other fourth-years are at Eagrose, so there should be no problem in finding you a bed in the dormitories." Ramza was speaking as they entered the city of Gariland's West Gate. He thought a moment.

"Actually, can you do that, Delita, please? I have that purse that Zalbaag gave me to improve the quality of our kit. He said what the Akademy supplies isn't adequate if we run into anything serious. I thought I'd see if any of the shops are still open. I did get us all better swords and daggers at Eagrose, but the lighter armour, that's made here, is more suited to our needs."

As Ramza stopped speaking he saw that Delita looked reluctant. His voice was unsure as he replied.

"I'll try, but you know how the Headmaster is with me, he refers to me as the "farm boy" even when I'm very obviously within earshot. The gods only know what he calls me when I'm not around!"

"The Headmaster's a prejudiced old man. So what if you're low-born?" Ramza saw Argath turn and study Delita with an indefinable expression.

"Says the boy whose father was the second most important man in Gallione."

"And my mother was every bit as low-born as yours." He lowered his voice. "I wish you'd stop being like this with me. Do I ever make you feel like you are less than me? If I ever have, I'm heartily sorry for it."

"Forget it." Delita's voice was clipped, but he hadn't answered the question, which made Ramza wonder. Did he unconsciously do things that emphasised his and Delita's difference in status?

"Hildegarde... no, hang on... Ophellia, can you take Argath and speak to the Headmaster, please. Delita, since you don't want to be the one to speak to the Head, are you coming with me or going with them?"

Delita sighed, he supposed that at least Ramza had realised he was right about the Headmaster and changed the task to the fellow squire with the highest social rank. It would make things go smoother with the class-conscious Headmaster of the Akademy, that Ophellia, a Viscount's daughter, was the one who would be dealing with this. Even though Hildegarde's family were very wealthy, they held no titles - in fact they were in trade. He hated that their world had to be like that!

"I'll come with you; if you really are buying enough kit for everyone, you'll need help to carry it." He said.

The party split up. Delita and Ramza headed down a quiet side street.

"Do I make you feel like I think you are less than me?" Ramza had gripped Delita's shoulder and halted him.

"Not usually, and I know never deliberately, of course. Mostly it's just my tendency to be over-sensitive about the fact that I am a farm boy, just... dressed up in a lordling's trappings." Delita began to turn away, but Ramza's grip on his shoulder tightened.

"Delita, you are one of the three people I love most in this world. Much as I respect, even love them, you are far more to me than either of my own brothers. Promise me that if I ever do anything to insult or injure you, you'll tell me immediately." Ramza's voice was intense.

"All right, but no need to get so damned serious about it. I'll tell you from now on when you're being the arrogant young lord, okay?"

"Okay." Ramza grinned and the two young men hugged for a moment.

"I don't do it that often, right?" Ramza's grin didn't fade.

"Never more than half a dozen times in a day." Delita said drily, though with a straight face. Ramza glanced at him, looked away, glanced back, and his smile dropped.

"You mean that! Delita, I..." He didn't know what to say. Delita sighed.

"'Course I don't. Ramza, I just told you to stop being so serious. Now you're being an idiot as well as over-serious!"

"I'm not an idiot!" Ramza punched Delita's shoulder.

"Not all the time... Just most of it!" Delita grinned at his friend.

"I'll show you idiot!" Ramza grabbed Delita and, with some difficulty, got the taller boy in a headlock. Laughing and trading insults, the two young men progressed down the street, more wrestling than walking. As they reached the more populous areas of Gariland, they broke apart, straightened clothes and wandered along, still grinning broadly.

If any of the Akademy's masters found out that they had been seen scuffling together in public, they would be read a lecture about their immature behaviour bringing disrepute to the school, and they'd both heard that one a few times already. Neither much cared about the masters' opinions, but they also didn't want to have to be bothered with another recitation.

"Ramza, did you see Argath's face this evening when you said I was low-born?" Delita asked.

It was late and Ramza and Delita were in their beds in their shared room in the barracks. They'd blown their candles out, but it was stiflingly hot for Spring and neither could sleep, so they'd begun to talk in that slightly hushed tone that people use in the dark.

"Yes."

Delita waited for what felt like hours for more of a response.

"And?" He finally burst out.

"I was hoping you hadn't noticed. It was a strange look, certainly, but I was already having difficulty knowing what to make of him, so I decided that I'm not going to borrow trouble. Who knows, maybe it was nothing, maybe he was just constipated, it was that sort of expression!" Ramza said, grinning, unseen.

"Don't make jokes. Don't make light of this sort of prejudice!"

The hurt in Delita's voice made Ramza regret his feeble attempt at humour.

"I don't mean to make light of it, but we aren't absolutely certain that that look meant anything. I know you think that I'm privileged and I know nothing of prejudice, but I've occasionally felt it.

"I remember walking into father's study when I was little and Dycedarg saying "and here's one of the bastard half-breed whelps now!" He'd been having a row with father, and I think he assumed I wouldn't know what he was saying. I didn't really, then, but I never forgot the words and the tone, and once I was old enough to know what he meant I've always wondered if he still feels that way, deep down."

Actually, Ramza thought, he tried not to wonder about it. He'd rather just believe that either his brother had been speaking only out of temper, or believe that it was a long time ago and that Dycedarg had changed his mind in the intervening years.

"I'm sorry, as unpleasant as that was, it simply isn't the same. I can become every bit as good a man as you, better than Argath, I'll warrant... or Dycedarg himself, for that matter. I have as much honour, as much bravery, so why does the class I was born into always have to be seen as so damned important?" Delita said.

"I wish we could change that, too. Maybe when we're older..." Ramza said.

"I hope so. I want to live in a world where everyone is treated fairly. Why should that be so hard to achieve?" Delita asked, though he already knew the answer.

They were quiet for a few moments, before Delita went on in a different tone, remembering Ramza's earlier comment:

"Hmm. Why was Dycedarg rowing with your father, to say such things so openly? Do you remember?"

"I don't know, I was very little. We were living at the Mansion, though, which means it was after father married mother, so I must have been at least five.

"Maybe the row was about the legitimation; if Dycedarg opposed it, that would explain why he said what he did." Ramza said.

Delita thought about that. To him that didn't make sense - once Ramza's father had eventually married his mother, it would have been best for the whole family to support the legitimation of their children; it minimised any scandal attached to the Beoulve name.

"One hell of a thing for Dycedarg to say to your father. I never knew they argued like that."

"Usually, when they did, it was about Dycedarg's and father's definition of honour. Dycedarg thought that what he felt was best for House Beoulve should take precedence over father doing what he felt was the right and honourable thing. I don't think they clashed frequently; it's not as if the Beoulve family honour and father's personal honour could have been in opposition too often." Ramza said.

"An interesting one, your eldest brother. I'm sure he'll always do whatever is best for the House - in fact, that goes without saying - but I think he could be terribly ruthless if that was what was needed." Delita said

"I fear so. I also fear that "interesting" is not the word you'd like to use. Perhaps you are right. I honour and respect Dycedarg, but he's hardly been a loving brother to us, has he?"

Delita suddenly began to laugh. His voice, when he spoke was affectionate.

"Oh Ramza, you always say "us", as if Tietra and I really were brother and sister to you and Alma."

"It's the way we grew up isn't it? It just seems right to say it that way." Ramza's voice was matter-of-fact.

"To you, perhaps. I doubt Dycedarg, or even Zalbaag would ever say it."

"I suppose not. Zalbaag's terribly fond of you and Tietra, though." Ramza said.

"Be honest; Zalbaag's terribly fond of Tietra - difficult not to be."

It was dark enough that Ramza couldn't see Delita, but he could hear the smile in his voice and imagine the affectionate look on his face.

"I think he likes me well enough, but I don't think it goes further than that." Delita added.

"Well, since he got home permanently from the war, eighteen months ago, Tietra's been living in the mansion the whole time and you and I have been here, mostly. He's bound to end up fonder of her than you, under those circumstances." Ramza said.

"No need to try to console me, I don't have quite the same level of big-brother-worship that you have for him."

Ramza felt certain that Delita was grinning at him.

"He was the senior General for the whole of the Order's armies by the time he was twenty-five. Difficult not to feel pretty proud of having him for a big brother, in those circumstances." Ramza said.

"And Dycedarg will soon be the main political advisor to the Regent of little King Orinus, if the rumours about King Ondoria not being long for this world are true. You have one hell of a lot to live up to, my friend!" Delita said, a cynical tone to his voice.

"I know it." Ramza sounded dispirited at the thought.

"I was only joking. Ramza, you will do well at whatever you choose, I'm certain of it, but you don't have to turn yourself into a copy of one of your brothers to make your mark on the world."

Delita was sorry to have said it; he knew how much the thought that he might never live up to his brothers bothered Ramza.

"Alma keeps saying something similar." Ramza said with a half-laugh.

"Well, listen to her then; your sister's like me, she has both feet on the ground. You and Tietra might enjoy going around with your heads in the clouds, but Alma and I are the practical ones, we see how things have to be." Delita said.

"I know it. That's why I always listen to the pair of you.

"Oh, how did we end up having such a deep and serious conversation? We should both be asleep!" Ramza had heard the distant striking of the clock on the front of the nearby Merchant's Guild. Then he thought he heard Delita sit up in bed.

"I'm still wide awake, I was thinking of going for a walk."

"Want company?" Ramza asked. He didn't think he'd get to sleep straight away, either.

"Y-e-s, but I was thinking of someone prettier. Juliana's room-mate is still at Eagrose, you know."

Delita got up and began to put his clothes back on.

"What, no censorious comments?" Delita asked.

"It's your life, just... don't get her pregnant, okay?" Ramza said, tone neutral.

"It hasn't got quite that far yet, between us, though I'm optimistic for tonight." Delita said cheerfully.

"Yeah, well. Have fun." The last two words didn't exactly sound as if Ramza meant them.

Ten minutes later Ramza was becoming breathless from laughing so hard at a very chastened Delita.

"Sounds like you were really subtle, Delita!" There could be no doubt about the sarcasm oozing from Ramza's voice.

"Yeah, well... so she said that as seduction techniques went, waking a girl from a sound sleep who was exhausted because she'd been marching all day and had marched and fought yesterday, as well, was one that was guaranteed to fail." Delita confided sheepishly.

"She also said that being obvious about the fact that I'd only come to see her because I was feeling randy and wide awake was less than flattering. She told me that if I couldn't sleep she recommended a cup of hot milk and a good book."

Ramza heard Delita's boots hit the floor as he began to undress again.

"And you always tell me I'm the one who's clueless with girls. Tomorrow, it sounds like you'd be better trying your grovelling techniques than your seduction techniques, if you ever want to get back into her good books."

Delita would quite often tease Ramza about his shyness around girls. He had to admit to himself, that being the one to wind Delita up about women, for a change, gave him a certain satisfaction.

"Hmph! Maybe you're right." Delita said morosely.

"And maybe she is - about the warm milk, I mean. Do you want some? I thought I might go down to the kitchens."

"You can be such a big girl! Bring me something alcoholic if there's anything in the back of the pantry."

"Oh yeah - because the cooks are going to leave that around for any of us cadets to sneak in and take! Also, I'm not a big girl - you're just getting childish because you aren't nearly as skilled with women as you like to pretend." Ramza was laughing slightly again.

"And you shouldn't mock someone whose heart could be broken, for all you know." Delita said resentfully.

"Delita, I'm not entirely stupid. Your heart was definitely not the organ that was involved in what you wanted from Juliana tonight. I'm not surprised she threw you out!" He pulled on his breeches under his nightshirt.

"So do you want milk or not?" He asked Delita.

"No. You and your bloody milk!"

Author's Note:

I know that there's a fair amount of Ramza/Delita shipping for this game, but that's not the way I'm heading with this, even though Ramza told Delita how much he loves him (hopefully, it was implicit that he was saying that he loves Alma and Tietra just as much). The way I see it, they have all four become unusually close in the years since the death of Delita's parents and that has only intensified with the deaths of Ramza's parents, as well - he was just expressing that.