The first thing Erin did when she arrived home was slip into her pantry and dig frantically through the boxes and cans, searching out the one bottle of alcohol she had not been able to part with. Alan had bought her the bottle of Lazzaroni Amaretto for her birthday a few years back, and she had been saving it for a special occasion. And then, she had gone to rehab, but still she couldn't get rid of that bottle.
Her fingers finally came in contact with the cool glass of the bottle and she sighed in relief, tugging it out and smiling at the caramel color. Biting her lip a little, she made her way out to the living room and sat heavily on the sofa as she just continued to stare at the bottle. There was something stopping her from opening the bottle, from diving headlong into oblivion, and she wondered why she couldn't find the strength, or weakness, to take that first sip.
Letting out a watery laugh, she closed her eyes and finally undid the top, opening the bottle without looking. The delicious, familiar, scent spread into her senses and she brought the bottle up to her nose, breathing in deeply. A low groan tumbled from her lips as she began to bring it down to her lips. She had almost taken that first sip when a sharp knock came at her front door. Frowning, she set the bottle on her coffee table and stood up.
The knocking increased in intensity the longer it took her to get to the door, and by the time she answered, she was furious for some unknown reason. "Yes?" she growled out before looking into the bemused face of Penelope. "Oh, hi."
"Hi, yourself, cutie pie." The pet name took her even further aback, and so she speechlessly led Penelope inside, locking the door behind her. "I, I hope you don't mind me coming to your house, I just couldn't leave things as they were. Something told me that you needed a friend to listen to you, and here I am."
Erin nodded, dumbfounded at the perceptiveness of the younger woman. "I do," she finally whispered as she took hold of Penelope's hand, guiding her into the living room. The sigh of resignation tore at Erin's heart, and she followed Penelope's gaze to the coffee table, her shoulders sinking as she realized what the other woman must think of her. "I haven't taken that first sip. I was waiting for something, or perhaps, someone to come."
"Erin." Her name sounded like a plea dropping from Penelope's lips, and she shrugged a little, folding in on herself as she took a seat on the sofa. "I am so very proud of you right now. You didn't give in to the craving, even though you might have wanted to."
She looked up, only to see Penelope smiling sweetly at her. "I was saving this bottle for a special occasion that never came. I really want to get drunk right now, even though it won't solve any of my problems."
"Well, I could always drink the bottle for you."
She giggled a little before shrugging once more. "I suppose that you could. Someone might as well get some pleasure from the bottle." Penelope nodded and picked it up, taking a swig before shuddering a little. "It's a bit strong."
"Strong is not the word for that sweetness, Erin. Though I could easily get used to drinking this, it is delicious."
"It was my alcohol of choice, back in the day." She gave Penelope a wry smile before pulling her knees up to her chest, watching the woman drink a little more of the amaretto. "Thank you," she said, the words blurring together as they escaped her throat.
"This is nothing, Erin. I would do anything for a friend, I want you to know." After taking another swig of amaretto, Penelope set the bottle aside, resealing it and then turning to face her. "All right, what brought about that craving that you felt you couldn't keep at bay?"
"Everything just seems to be going to Hell in a hand basket. I'm alienating you from your friends, I'm at the center of this vile person's target, David obviously is still smarting from our breakup, even though he was the one to end things, even though a small part of me still loves him. I've tried to tie a knot at the end of my proverbial rope, but it seems like someone has covered the knot with grease, and I'm fast losing my hold."
The words just spilled from her lips, like she had really taken those drinks instead of Penelope. She had had the annoying habit of complete honesty when she was blitzed, much though it had not done her any good. "Then it's a good thing that your friend is here to catch you, should your hold fail."
The tender smile on Penelope's lips made her feel so at ease, and she nodded a little, almost anticipating when Penelope leaned forward and kissed her. The sweetness of the amaretto still lingered on her lips, and she lapped at the younger woman's lips with her tongue, savoring the taste. When she pulled away, Erin let out a soft sound of disappointment. "I thought that you weren't coming on to me?" she asked, suddenly needing to distance herself from the emotional intimacy of the moment they had just shared.
"I wasn't. You just seem to need kisses. Don't you ever kiss your friends?"
Erin bit her lip as she shook her head a little. "Not like that," she said so lowly that Penelope leaned closer once more to hear her. "Friendship kisses are always on the cheek. Aren't they?"
"It all depends on you, cutie pie." Again with the pet name, and Erin chuckled a little. "What? Don't like that one? I'm certain I can think of some cute name that will suit you. Dave is the Italian Stallion, Hotch is either Boss Man or Hotch Rocket, Der is my chocolate Thunder God, Jayje is Gumdrop. All my friends get a new moniker, so you had better get used to that right quick."
Erin nodded, letting out a long, slow, breath. "I suppose that would be all right, Penelope."
"I'm glad that's settled, then. Now, is there anything else that I should be aware of in your past that might be dredged up by our mole? If we can get one step ahead of this person, perhaps we can find them before any of us gets hurt further."
She sighed as she thought about her past. Bringing her eyes up to look into Penelope's, she slowly shook her head. There were things that had been buried in the past long ago, and she was almost certain that they would not come back to haunt her. And there was no way that she was close enough with Penelope to even begin to explain her affair with Alex. "No, Penelope, there is nothing else in my past that you should know."
The other woman frowned at her, as if she knew that Erin was keeping something back, but then her eyes cleared and she nodded. "All right, when you feel comfortable enough, I'll want to hear that story." A large yawn tore through Penelope, and Erin found herself answering in kind. "Would you mind if I crashed at your place tonight? I don't trust myself to drive after drinking and being this tired."
A small part of Erin wanted to say no, wanted to have Penelope leave her inner sanctum, but then she looked into those soft brown eyes, and found herself nodding. "I might have an old shirt of David's that would fit you, but…I've lost weight thanks to my ordeal, and I've gone down a full size."
"That's okay, I can make a t-shirt work no problem."
"Good," Erin said with a relieved breath. "Um, if you want to follow me upstairs then, I can search through my dresser." Getting up, she took off for her bedroom, not looking back to see if Penelope was following or not.
The floorboards creaking in her bedroom told her enough to know that Penelope was hot on her heels, and she shook her head a little as she opened her pajama draw and began to root around inside, her hand finally coming in contact with the worn, soft, t-shirt. Turning, she held it out to Penelope.
Erin let her shoulders slump as soon as Penelope was out the door. While she hadn't wanted another kiss, she had almost been expecting it, and a tiny part of her was disappointed to not receive it. Which was absurd, she knew. She could not possibly be falling for this woman, not when her last relationship with a woman had been so disastrous. Letting out a deep sigh, she pulled out a nightgown for herself and quickly stripped, deciding to shower in the morning. There were some things that only sleep could quell, and this feeling was one of them.