Chapter 10
Moving up the Ranks
1 month later
John
"John, in light of your exemplary performance today and throughout your current tour of duty, I am recommending that you enter SAS training." James Sholto announced after a particularly hellish day. It had been a clusterfuck and John didn't feel particularly good about his performance. He wished that he could have done more. As the saying went, an ounce of prevention was worth a pound of cure. But John knew deep down that there was nothing that he could have done to prevent those injuries, but it still left him feeling helpless. John looked up at Sholto unsure if he was serious. There was no humor lurking in Sholto's blue eyes as he took a long drag off his cigarette. John wrinkled his nose as the smell of tobacco smoke reached him and for a bittersweet moment he was reminded of Sherlock.
"Those things will kill you." John lectured wearily with a sigh as they walked side-by-side back towards the barracks in Kandahar.
"I'm more worried about bullets or explosives." James replied with a sigh of his own releasing a plume of smoke as he answered. "You've earned it, John. That much is for damn sure. Anyone would back that up." James said changing the topic back easily. John and his commanding officer had, over the last few months, developed not only a mutual respect for one another, but a deep friendship as well, which often proved to be a bit of a delicate balancing act at times. James was always professional, but their relationship was a complicated one and it was a potential minefield of conflicts. James was the only one who knew the whole story. Everything, including Sherlock and his fall. Not even Murray had known that John had watched, horrified as his best friend, his unrequited love, had fallen to his death resulting in John re-enlisting without caring whether he lived or died. John sometimes got the sense that if things were different between them that James would have asked for more, but John's heart was still broken and, what's more, intimate relationships within the ranks were strictly forbidden. Not to say that it was unheard of for such things to go on behind closed doors.
Sholto had talked John down a few times when he was on the edge and ready to end it. Though the feeling came rarely, but when it did those times were brutal. Times when he missed Sherlock so much that it hurt to breathe and that all he wanted for the pain to end. "I can't deny that I owe you my life James, lord knows, but I don't want favors." John insisted wishing that he had a drink to settle his nerves. He cut the thought off quickly as he was reminded of Harry and all the trouble that the bottle had caused her over the years. John felt a pang of guilt for not calling her after Sherlock's death after he had re-enlisted. Assuming that she was still sober, she was probably worried about him. John would just add it to the ever-growing list of things that he felt guilty about. John squeezed his eyes shut and was assaulted by memories. It had been a horrific day. Their combat medic was amongst the wounded leaving John the only other person who was qualified to treat battle injuries. Though they had managed to avoid any loss of life, there had been numerous severe injuries. Two of the soldier's were now amputees and a third ended up with an emergency tracheotomy. That hardly qualified as a victory in John's eyes. John turned his head hoping to loosen the muscles that were still tight with stress. While his performance hadn't suffered because of it, he was feeling his age.
"John, I'm serious. This is purely based on merit. Your record is flawless. It is well deserved and once you complete the training you will qualify for another promotion to the rank of Lt. Colonel." Sholto insisted meeting his eyes evenly. John paused for a moment as he considered the offer. Even within the military, there was a great deal secrecy surrounding the 22 SAS Regiment. The training was brutal and included specialization in one of four different areas depending on the troop assignment. Boat which were maritime specialists, Air which included both HALO and HAHO specialists, Mobility were experts in desert warfare with advanced training in mechanics and Mountain which were experts in arctic warfare. There was also an anti-hijacking counterterrorism team. John knew more about SAS than most as he had worked with a team during his last deployment to Afghanistan during operation HERRICK before being shot in the shoulder leading to his medical discharge. What the hell, John thought. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
"All right, James. I'll do it. I can only hope that I can meet the high expectations." John replied hoping that he wouldn't regret his decision.
"I have complete faith in you. The training starts next week. It's been an honor John." James assured confidently but his eyes couldn't completely mask his sadness.