Erin woke up the next morning feeling refreshed and ready to face a new day. Despite her thoughts that Alex would disturb her solitude, Erin had found that she had welcomed the other woman being there. They had fallen into an easy rhythm that had reminded Erin so much of their early relationship, and she found the hours passing by so quickly that she wondered how she would react when the time came for her to go home.
Sitting up, she stretched widely before slipping out of bed and padding over to the armoire, rifling through her clothes until she found the outfit she wanted. Heading to the bathroom, she locked herself behind the door and slipped off her nightie before climbing in shower and turning on the water.
As the warm stream splashed down on her, Erin let her thoughts wander. While she loved being able to spend time with Alex, there was something that she found lacking in their interactions. A part of Erin's heart wished that Penelope was there to talk to, that she would be able to ask forgiveness from her, and that they could start their relationship anew. And those thoughts scared Erin, because she knew them full well. They were the same sort of feelings that she had experienced with Alex the first time around, when love was fresh and beautiful. She did not want to feel love for Penelope, since a part of her knew that it would only end in tears.
The water started to feel a little cool on her skin, so she hurriedly washed her hair before easing off the cold water, eking out the hot water for as long as she could so that she could wash up. Turning off the water completely, Erin grabbed a fresh towel from the rack and wrapped it around her body before stepping out onto the bathmat. Shaking her hips a little, she felt drops of water roll down her legs, and she smiled as she made her way over to the counter, staring at her reflection in the mirror as she dried her body.
There was something in her eyes, as if she had found some peace by Alex showing up at her door the other night. "Erin, you're not going to do this to yourself, you're not going to let yourself fall head over heels for her again. That didn't end well the last time, and now that she has James in her life, it would end even worse for you," she whispered before drying off her face. It didn't take long for her to apply her makeup, and then she was dressing, pulling on a pair of comfortable knit pants and an oversized summer sweater over her underwear.
"Are you almost finished in there, Erin? I want to take a shower, too!"
She gave herself a guilty look before striding over to the door and tugging it open. "I may have used all the hot water up, Alex. Sorry?"
The other woman rolled her eyes at her before reaching out and taking hold of her elbow. "I cannot believe that that was the one thing I forgot about you. I still remember all the cold showers I had to take after you when we were…well, when we were together."
Erin nodded, biting her lip as she let Alex guide her down to the kitchen. "I was thinking about that time as I showered, actually. And remembering some good things. But we can't go back to that time, no matter how much I might want that. I'm free, you are not. You love James too much to leave him for someone like me."
Alex stopped them in the hall, turning Erin so that they were looking at each other. "You're right, Erin. Just because I came here, does not mean that I plan on having a torrid affair with you. I still love you, but it's different now. It's more tender and friendly, and I keep trying to convince myself that I should turn off those feelings. That I should be so angry with you for everything that happened, but you've wormed past my defenses time after time, and I'm not going to fight those feelings any longer. So while I love James with all my heart, I love you, too. Just not in the more carnal sense. I'm going to leave that to you and Penelope."
She squeaked a little as she shook her head, tugging her arm free of Alex's grip and hurriedly making her way to the kitchen. Erin knew that Alex would be hot at her heels, and she fought to find a way to deny the truth that her friend had so succinctly seen. Using the refrigerator as a buffer, Erin pulled open the door and grabbed the carton of eggs. "So, scrambled or fried this morning?" she asked too brightly, and Alex gave her a tender smile as she shook her head.
"Fried, but I'm not going to let you off the hook so easily. I'm not wrong, am I? There is something between the two of you."
Erin sighed deeply as she set the carton on the counter and knelt down to pull out the frying pan. "While I may feel things for her, I'm not certain that she reciprocates those feelings. And while we're working on this case, there is no way that I can explore something. I'm on thin enough ice as it is, after everything that Curtis did to try and destroy me." Turning her head, she let her features take on her feelings as she blinked rapidly. "I, I just can't…"
Her voice broke, and then Alex was moving forward, wrapping her in a tight hug. "Oh, Erin, sometimes you have to take that step into the unknown."
"It would be so much easier if she didn't despise me now, for not telling her about us. We're not going to move past that, and I'm going to use this time here to get over this infatuation, so that when I go back to the office, we can work together, and I can move on."
Alex stroked her hair tenderly before pressing her lips to her forehead, comforting her sweetly. Erin sighed a little, remembering this side of Alex so well. "I'll try to make certain that she sees the sweet side of you."
They sighed in tandem, and Erin had to actively fight the urge to turn her face and kiss Alex's cheek, since that could destroy everything between them. "You were the only one who ever saw me as sweet," she finally replied as she pulled away and set the frying pan on the oven. "I'm not even certain that I see myself that way any longer."
"Well, maybe we'll just have to work on that, then," Alex said as she moved away from her and boosted herself up on the counter. "Now, are you going to want tea or coffee this morning?"
"I think it is the perfect morning for Earl Grey, don't you? And it seems that David picked up my habit, too, since there's a fresh box in the cupboard next to you." Alex nodded and began to rummage through said cupboard while she turned back to the stove and turned the burner on. While the pan was warming up, she grabbed a knife and then sliced off a slab of butter to grease it with.
The delicious scent of food and tea mingling together helped to relax Erin a little, but that feeling of ease soon disappeared when a heavy knocking resounded through the room. Instantly, Erin stiffened, giving a stricken look to Alex. "I don't know, Erin," she murmured, reaching for her service weapon. "And my gun is in my suitcase."
"It's probably nothing," she murmured, trying to calm her pounding heart. "Watch the eggs," she said as she turned down the flame and carefully made her way to the front door. Erin peeked through the window, not seeing anyone there right away.
"You haven't opened the door yet?"
Erin jumped a little and swallowed the shriek that came to her lips. Shaking her head, she gave Alex a small smile. "I wanted to see if I could see who it was. Did you take the eggs off the burner, at least?"
"Yes, Erin." She caught the gentle eye roll and frowned. "I know enough not to come between you and your food."
Before she could give a tart reply, another round of loud knocking shook the door, and she took a deep breath. "Whatever you're selling, I don't want any," she said as she opened the door, only to gasp at who was standing on the stoop.
"What are you doing here?" Alex and Penelope asked in tandem, and Erin closed her eyes, feeling like she had just fell down a rabbit's hole from which there would be no escape.