Hook… I Will Always Find You

Chapter Twenty-Eight

In Storybrooke once more…

After he finished talking with Belle when she finally told him it was time she returned home, Henry walked her back as far as he could until they split off in opposite directions, then slowly walked again through town on his way back to the loft while he kept his head down and his eyes on the street in front of him. However, because he wasn't really paying attention to his surroundings, the teenager was startled when he suddenly ran into Archie and Pongo while the doctor was locking up his office with a few case files in his hands.

The psychiatrist turned to the boy he'd been seeing since Henry was nine years old in surprise as he questioned, "Henry… What brings you out walking all alone at this hour in the morning?"

The thirteen year old knelt down in front of the dalmatian and pet him gently, then looked up at his friend while he replied, "It looks like I'm not the only one out at this hour. I'm guessing you were having trouble sleeping too?"

"You're right," Archie responded when Henry stood straight again and slowly began to walk alongside him while they headed in the direction of their apartments. "How about you tell me what's troubling you and I'll do the same. Although… I suspect our reasons are pretty similar."

"Did you come out here to your office because you were terrified by a nightmare you're afraid you won't be able to just shake off?" Henry asked him brusquely, then let out a sigh in frustration before he apologized. "I'm sorry, Archie. I didn't mean to snap at you. Honestly, I'm pretty sure I'll be fine now. We're not the only ones awake right now. I just finished talking with Belle down on the beach, as well as Grandma. I'm feeling better."

The doctor looked over at him as he answered, "If that were true, you wouldn't have snapped at me just now. And as your therapist, I know you well enough to know you're not."

The teenager chortled and then replied, "You're right. And you know, it's funny… Belle actually suggested I come by to see you and the truth is, I was going to. But I was going to wait until morning at least. I'm sorry to be troubling you tonight, Archie."

"Don't apologize," Dr. Hopper responded sincerely. "I told you years ago that you could come to see me any time day or night if you needed to. Besides, a conscience never sleeps and neither do the crickets. As you can hear."

"I tried going to bed earlier tonight," Henry began quietly after he and Archie took a few moments to listen to the crickets chirping around them. "But I wasn't asleep for more than an hour or so before I started dreaming. And it was great at first. Until it wasn't."

Archie nodded as he seemed to understand and then stated, "I'm guessing this dream you had was about Killian?"

The thirteen year old sighed again somberly, then he answered, "I was dreaming about the time Killian first began to teach me about sailing and how to navigate using the stars just after my dad died. But then it changed. In my dream we were interrupted by Dark Hook. You know… the version of him that was the Dark One Killian became after… Well you know about the rest of what happened because you were there, which I suspect is why you can't sleep either."

"The truth is, I haven't tried yet," the man of conscience replied in frustration. "I was talking with Geppetto who offered me some comfort. It's just that, well… I don't know really. I guess what bothers me the most is that Killian lost himself to that darkness when he sacrificed the good in him in order to save my life after Arthur shot me. Although, I'm also ashamed because my first thought once he did become that… was of fear. I was afraid of him and I shouldn't have been. I haven't admitted that confession out loud to anyone yet."

"We're supposed to be afraid of the Dark One," Henry responded to him with compassion. "The Dark One is pure evil, but it was the power you were afraid of, Archie. Not Killian. I'm sure he would be more understanding of that than anyone. As for everything else that's troubling you… Killian sacrificing the good in him… your fear that you've somehow still failed him… None of it is your fault, just as none of it's mine or my mom's either, nor anyone else's. I know my saying so, just like my mom and Marco no doubt tried to tell you so too doesn't really help you to stop feeling terrible…"

Archie quickly cut in as he corrected the boy by saying, "Actually, it really does help more than you realize. The more those I care about try to tell me that I'm not to blame for anything, the more I feel reassured by their comforting words. Thank you for that, Henry. But we haven't finished with you yet. Please… continue telling me about your dream. What happened after the Dark One appeared in front of you? Was Killian still there too, or did he just become the Dark One?"

When they realized they had come to the apartment building where the teenager lived with his mom and grandparents, Henry sat down on the curb and began to pet Pongo again while Archie sat down beside him, then he continued, "Killian was still there and his dark self stood in front of us with a cruel smile on his face. Killian tried to protect me and told me to run to find Mom so I could warn her of a danger greater than Zelena. But I was confused because the me in my dream didn't have any memories of magic or of who anyone who lived here really were. Yet once I fell out of my fear, I realized I still couldn't move and I was forced to watch the Dark One fight Killian as they fought with their swords. Killian was holding his own for awhile, until the monster knocked him off his feet and into the campfire we lit up on the beach behind him. His hand became burned so badly that Killian could barely keep hold of the sword, then while I stood frozen before them, I watched as the Dark One forced his cutlass to Killian's throat, transformed his hook into a left hand, then pulled out a replica of the dagger as he knelt down over Killian and finally ran him through with it. Just like Killian did to himself in Camelot, not just to protect us all, but because he couldn't live with himself any longer."

"I know that this dream was only my own fears manifesting themselves just to scare me and that what I saw in it wasn't real, but it was, Archie," he added curtly before the doctor could say anything. "What really happened didn't happen the way I saw in this nightmare, but it was real and Killian's suffering even more right now as we're talking. I can't sleep, because I don't want to take the chance that I'll start dreaming of him down in the Underworld. I should have gone with my family to help save him. If I had, I wouldn't be having nightmares. I'd be doing something to help them save him instead."

"So that's what this is really all about then," the cricket finally said after he had listened to his youngest patient. "You're blaming yourself because you don't think you're helping Killian while you remain up here in Storybrooke, safe from the evils your family are facing now to save the man you see as a father to you from his suffering. But the truth is you're wrong, Henry. You are helping him by staying safe. He gave his life to make sure that you remained so. More than that… you're holding on to the belief that your family will succeed in saving him, just like all of them saved you from Neverland. And that never-ending belief goes a long way in giving them and Killian the strength and drive they need to make it back home. There's a reason why you have the heart of the truest believer. It makes you powerful."

Henry looked over at the man of conscience still sitting beside him again and then smiled while he said quietly, "Thank you for your advice. And you're right. But I'm not sure that's going to help me with my nightmares. I can't watch him die again. And I can't watch anyone else die either should this nightmare turn into something worse. What can I do to prevent them that won't involve not sleeping? Because I know I can't keep that up forever either."

Archie thought for a few moments, then laid his hand down over the boy's shoulders and answered, "Just take each night as they come. Throughout the day, do the best you can to surround yourself with positivity. Remember the adventures you've gone on together. Think of the positive memories you have with Killian, especially the ones that mean the most to you, like the one from your dream before it became your nightmare. Remember why the times you've shared together is so important to you. If you can do that, this assurance should outweigh your fears. And if that doesn't work, come back and see me again. I could prescribe you something that might help you to sleep. I just don't think that'll be necessary. Everything's going to be all right, Henry."

"Thank you again," the teenager stated to him sincerely.

"You're welcome," his therapist whispered and helped his patient to stand again so Henry could get inside before Mary Margaret began to worry even more than she already was.