Note- the first scene happened on Criminal Minds during season three.

Got Me Coming Undone

Part One

2007

"What? No snappy retort? What's going on?"

"Not in the mood."

"Penelope?"

"Uh, that guy from the coffee shop asked me out and I took your advice and I blew him off."

"Oh! Um,... well good. Smart move. Something was definitely wrong with him."

"Wow. You are some profiler. You could tell how wrong he was from what little I told you."

"Garcia, I didn't mean-"

"I wonder was it that he was too handsome or too interested in me that tipped you off on how wrong he was?"

"Garcia, I-"

"Just cause you wouldn't cross a crowded room to hit on me doesn't mean that a more perceptive, less superficial man wouldn't. Hey, Derek? You want snappy? You suck!"

He sat there in shock, staring at the phone, after she hung up. What the hell had just happened? Derek Morgan was stunned, to say the least.

He felt rattled. Shook to his very core.

He never fought with his baby girl before. And to fight about something like this, something so stupid, made it even worse. Ever since the day they met he had been flirting with her and now she threw it in his face that he was too blind to want her?

That was not what was holding him back and it hurt to think she believed him to be so shallow as it find something wrong with her looks. Didn't he tell her every day she was the sexiest woman he ever met? He had always been into her. He liked her for her body, her mind, her heart and her soul. Penelope Garcia was the full package.

She deserved a man who was ready to settle down and he hadn't ever felt like he was at that place. But when she told him, earlier that day, that she met a guy who was "smoking hot," as she said and repeated to drive the point home, and she looked at him with shining excited eyes over another man Derek had a moment of clarity: he could get ready to settle down real quick if the other option was her dating some other guy.

He didn't tell her that though. His head was spinning. He wanted to save face. So he put on a big smile for her, while warning her to be careful with this new guy. He just didn't want her getting hurt and he didn't want her rushing into something. Rushing away from him.

That moment was one he replayed all morning, as the team flew out of town for a new case, and now as he sat there he thought about it again. She had said that she wasn't the type men write songs about. He started to tell her how wrong she was but she cut him off.

Now he knew that she really believed that. She believed she wasn't gorgeous enough to get any man she wanted. To get him.

The hurt he felt knowing that made a bitter taste come onto his tongue. Not for him and not even for the painful realization he just had about how she saw him but for her. His baby girl.

She was insecure, even if she hid it well, and now he could finally see just how broken she was inside. He hated knowing she was suffering with doubts about herself. She shouldn't have to. Not when he saw the beauty in her- inside and out.

Not when he loved her.

Love? he asked himself as he finally stood and headed out of the room. The word fit what he felt even better than he had ever realized before.

For all the time they had known each other they had this flirty, fun, sexy vibe between them that grew to a deep friendship. But it wasn't like he ever forget for one second that she was a hot, brilliant babe. He checked her out every time she walked away and he made sure he saw her everyday that he could, no matter how out of his way he had to go to make that happen or if he had to miss sleep or a date for her. Being in her computer lab was more fun for him than most other things and it was an important part of his routine: hanging out with his best friend.

He slowly fell for her. She stole pieces of his heart over the years and became the most important woman in his life, no matter who was in his bed. He was just waiting to feel ready for a serious relationship before he asked her to be with him.

He always felt like she would wait on him. Like she understood what they were moving towards but after the events between them today he knew he was way off base. Not only was she far from waiting on him, she didn't even think he wanted her at all.

That he wouldn't pick her out of a crowd.

It stung. He felt bruised and battered by her today but he blamed himself for her being this way. He had assumed way too much. He needed to make this right with her. As he walked out to the rental SUV to go to meet up with the rest of the team he called Penelope back "Hey."

"Tell me what you need," she said in a stern tone that told him to not get personal with her.

"You, Garcia. I need you to go to dinner with me as soon as I get back."

"Not if you were the last man on earth, Morgan." Click.

He stared at his cell. He had been rejected by women before, not often but it happened, still he never felt this kind of hurt over being shot down. He had a bad feeling this was a turning point for them and he was about to lose his baby girl....and never get her back again.

As he drove he thought back to all the days he had known her. And how she was the only woman he had ever fallen in love with and how she didn't even know that. How she probably wouldn't even believe him if he told her.

( I remember what you wore on the first day

you came into my life and I thought

"Hey, you know this could be something."

-

Cause everything you do

and words you say

you know that it all takes my breath away.

-

And now I'm left with nothing.) (Boys Like Girls and Taylor Swift)

XXXXXXXXX

He hesitantly walked into a church, when they got back to Virginia and Penelope was ignoring all his calls to her cell phone.

Derek was questioning everything in his life. Did God exist? Why was there so much evil in the world? Why did men like Carl Buford exist? What would he do if Penelope never treated him the same way she did yesterday? What if he could never convince her they were headed somewhere together?

What if she had shut down on him for good? If there was a God and if he refused to do anything for all the victims that the BAU dealt with everyday, why would he listen to Derek now...a man who wasn't even sure what he believed in...and why would he help him?

Tears rolled down his face and he prayed he could be a better man. Be the man she needed most. Because if he had messed up that then his life just got way off course and he had no clue what the rest of it would look like.

Thinking about living without her left him chilled to the bone. "Give me some answers. What does it all mean? Help me.....God, help me. I need to be stronger. Don't let me lose her. Don't take her away from me....please. Let her see how much I need her. Let her believe in me. Let me believe in You. Give me some answers. What does this all mean?"

(So maybe its true.

I can't live without you.

And maybe two is better than one.

-

But there's so much time

to figure out

the rest of my life.

And you already got me coming undone.

And I'm thinking two is better than one)