Hi everyone! Thanks so much for all your support of this fanfic. Here begins the Finchel engagement arc. I like this arc and wish they'd gotten married, but I know not everyone feels this way. But this is one of my favorite episodes! Hope you enjoy and review if you want me to keep going. And today's my birthday, so I'd like reviews as a birthday present ;)
Chapter 57: Yes/ No
School had started up again after Christmas break. Finals passed, and now it was the second semester of senior year. The last semester of high school. Finn couldn't believe how fast things were winding down. He'd applied to a few state schools, but he wanted to do something special. Rachel was going to take the Broadway world by storm. Kurt was either going to do the same thing or become a top notch fashion designer. Finn wasn't even sure what he wanted to major in.
Then Finn saw the photo of his dad. Maybe he could become a hero in the army as well. But what would his mom think? She'd lost her husband. No way would she want to lose her son as well. And Rachel. She'd be worried sick.
Finn wasn't sure if this was even what he wanted to do. But it was something worth considering. He called the local ROTC office and asked when would be a good time to meet.
Finn met with the recruiter during his lunch hour the first day back at school second semester. Rachel had wondered why he wasn't joining her, but he said he had some homework to do. But she seemed happy to see him at glee, so he knew she wasn't mad. Then Finn's thoughts were interrupted when Mr. Schue came in. "Finn, give me a drum roll."
Finn drummed as Mr. Schue wrote "Marry Me" on the board. "Yes, I am proposing to Ms. Pillsbury," he announced.
The glee club cheered. "This is the kind of news that you share with your family, and you guys are my family," Mr. Schue added.
"Mr. Schue, we're so happy for you," Finn said.
"We totally don't think you'll screw it up this time," Quinn said.
"Here's the thing: it's got to be perfect," Mr. Schue continued. "I'm sitting down with Emma's parents to ask for permission, and then this proposal needs to knock her well-washed socks off. And that's where you guys come in, okay? So the assignment for the week is to come up with a proposal number. And you know Ms. Pillsbury— it's got to be perfect."
"Well, you can count on us, Mr. Schue," Artie said. Finn saw Puck, Sam, Blaine and Mike go over to where Artie was sitting, and he got up from his drums to join them.
"The girls are going to want to do something cliche," Mike said.
"Yeah, they will," Finn said. He knew what a cliche was now, thanks to Rachel.
"Maybe we should go to the auditorium and work on something else," Sam suggested.
The boys agreed and all began walking to the auditorium. "So, have any of you guys thought about when you get married?" Blaine asked.
"I don't think I could handle commitment," Puck said.
"I do think Tina and I will," Mike said.
"I want to marry Mercedes," Sam said. "I just need to get her back."
"Well, I hope you do get her back," Finn couldn't help but say. "That guy she's with is a bad influence on her." He knew Shane was the one who'd encouraged Mercedes to be rude to Rachel during West Side Story auditions.
"Well, Finn, one day I want to marry your brother," Blaine said.
Maybe now would be an okay time for Finn to say it. "I have thought about marrying Rachel. I know we're young, but when I think about my future - I can't help but see Rachel in it."
"That's sweet," Artie said. "All of you guys. Now, let's put together our number for Mr. Schue. We need to get it done to show him tomorrow, before the girls have a chance to show him what they have in mind."
As the guys began to work on their number, Finn couldn't help but think about their earlier discussion. It was true. In all his thoughts about the future, Rachel was there. Could a wedding be in the future for them as well?
x
After school the next day, Finn, Artie, Mike, Puck and Blaine summoned Mr. Schue to the auditorium. Sam had synchronized swimming practice, but he told the other guys to go ahead with showing it to Mr. Schue today. Mr. Schue arrived just as the guys had finished setting up the disco ball. "I've been thinking, Mr. Schue. The girls are gonna try to neuter you with this proposal assignment by encouraging you to sing a sappy ballad, or maybe even cry during it. That's not only humiliating, it's predictable. Therefore, I'm proposing you subvert expectations, and lead with your hips," Artie told their teacher as they arrived.
"My what?" Mr. Schue asked.
"So modest," Mike said. "You have rock star hips, Mr. Schue. It's true. Mick Jagger hip."
"Yeah. Unleash the moves we've been practicing on Ms. Pillsbury, and she will swoon. Don't be alarmed by the disco ball," Artie said.
The music began. Artie led the boys in the song, while Mike showed Mr. Schue the dance he'd choreographed.
Artie: Oh yeah,
Watch it, ooh!
Just shoot for the stars,
If it feels right,
And aim for my heart,
If you feel like
And take me away and make it OK
I swear I'll behave
You wanted control
So we waited
I put on a show
Now I make it
I was born in a crossfire hurricane
And I howled at my ma in the driving rain
And it goes like this
New Directions Boys: Take me by the tongue and I'll know you (Finn: But it's alright)
Kiss me till you're drunk and I'll show you (Blaine: But it's alright)
All the moves like Jagger
I've got the moves like Jagger
I've got the Jumpin' Jack Flash, it's a gas, gas, gas
I don't need to try to control you (Finn: But it's alright)
Look into my eyes and I'll own you (Puck: But it's alright)
With them moves like Jagger (Blaine: Now)
I've got the moves like Jagger
I've got the moves like Jagger
Artie with New Directions Boys: I was born in a crossfire hurricane
And I howled at my ma in the driving rain (Finn, Puck and Blaine: Moves like Jagger)
But it's all right (Finn, Puck and Blaine: Now)
Artie: I'm Jumpin' Jack Flash, it's a gas, gas, gas
And it goes like this
New Directions Boys : Take me by the tongue and I'll know you (Finn: But it's alright) (Artie: Take me by the tongue)
Kiss me till you're drunk and I'll show you (Blaine: But it's alright) (Artie: yeah yeah)
All the moves like Jagger
I've got the moves like Jagger
I've got the Jumpin' Jack Flash, it's a gas, gas, gas (Artie: Oh yeah)
I don't need to try to control you (Puck: But it's alright) (Artie: Yeah)
Look into my eyes and I'll own you (Blaine: But it's alright) (Artie: Oh oh)
With them moves like Jagger
I've got the moves like Jagger
I've got the moves like Jagger
Jumpin' Jack Flash, it's a gas, gas, gas
"Oh, guys," Mr. Schue said. "I like it. A lot. It's a... it's an inspired choice, but... you know, all that dancing, means a lot of sweat, and Emma hates dirty, so, uh... you know, I don't want to do anything to trigger her. It's definitely in the mix."
As Mr. Schue began to leave he turned to Finn. "Hey Finn, can you come with me? I wanted to talk to you about something."
"Yeah, of course," Finn said. He followed Mr. Schue to his car.
Mr. Schue drove to a ring store. "I just wanted a second opinion," Mr. Schue told Finn as they arrived at the store.
"That's fine," Finn said. As they walked in, Finn began looking at the rings. "Rachel says you're supposed to spend two months' salary on the ring. Or was it two weeks? Honestly, I just zone out every time girls start talking about this stuff. So when's the wedding?"
"She has to say yes first, right?" Mr. Schue admitted. "And I have to work up the nerve to ask her. After my last marriage, I just don't want to fail again." Then he looked at Finn. "Finn... I want you to be my best man."
Finn couldn't believe it. Mr. Schue was asking him? Not a brother, not a cousin, not a co-worker, not a friend from high school or college... "Are you screwing with me right now?"
"You've taught me more about being a man than anyone I've ever known," Mr. Schue said. "You stand up for your friends, you're not afraid to cry, and you'll make sure I don't do anything too stupid at my bachelor party."
Finn gave Mr. Schue a hug. "Is that a yes?" Mr. Schue asked.
"Yeah!" Finn exclaimed. "Wow!" Mr. Schue trusted him. And he trusted Mr. Schue. So maybe now would be a good time to talk about what had been on his mind recently. "Hey, do you mind if I talk to you about something, man-to-man?"
"Yeah," Mr. Schue said.
"I've been thinking about my future, too," Finn began. "So I met with a recruiter."
Mr. Schue looked confused. "I thought you said you were giving up on football."
"For the Army," Finn admitted. "I just want to do something special, you know. Like my dad, but without the whole dying part. You know?"
"Yeah," Mr. Schue said.
Then Finn saw a nice ring. This was the type of ring he thought Rachel would like. "Hey, that one's really nice. It's medium-sized so it should be easy to clean. Ms. Pillsbury would really like that."
x
Rachel had put together a number for a proposal with Mercedes, Santana and Tina. The girls had picked out a song that made them think of the first time they'd seen the guys they loved (or girl, in Santana's case). Rachel remembered the first time she and Finn saw each other so well. Even though she'd just been walking down the hall, she couldn't help but turn and look at him. Tina and Santana both said they felt similar ways when they first saw Mike and Brittany, and Mercedes just said she liked the song. The girls went to Mr. Schue's office, ready to show him the song.
"In order for us to help you propose to Ms. Pillsbury, we're going to need some salient information first," Tina said.
"Okay. Come on, ladies. It's not like this is the first time I've ever proposed," Mr. Schue said.
"Oh, yeah?" Santana asked. "How did that marriage work out for you? I mean, what was your big move then? A jumbotron that said 'Hey, Terri, I Want To Make a Fake Baby With You'?"
"Let's start from the beginning with you and Ms. P," Mercedes said. "What'd you think the first time you met her?"
Mr. Schue sighed. "I'll never forget how I felt the first time I saw her."
Rachel knew they'd picked the right song now. "I think we've got this one covered."
The girls led Mr. Schue to the auditorium, where they gave the sheet music to Brad and took their seats on the stage to sing their song.
Rachel: The first time ever I saw your face
I thought the sun rose in your eyes
Tina: And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave
To the dark, (dark) and the end of the skies
My love
Santana: And the first time ever I lay with you
I felt your heart so close to mine
Mercedes: And I knew our joy would fill the earth
And last, 'til the end of time, my love.
Rachel: And the first time ever I saw
Tina with Mercedes, Rachel, and Santana: Your face
Mercedes with Rachel, Santana, and Tina: Your face
Santana with Mercedes, Rachel, and Tina: Your face
Rachel with Mercedes, Santana, and Tina: Your face
At the end of the song, Mercedes ran out of the auditorium. Before the girls could hear what Mr. Schue thought, they followed her out and found her crying in the bathroom. "Hey, what's wrong?" Tina asked.
Mercedes looked at the girls. "That song was so... It was so beautiful and moving. The first person I thought of wasn't Shane. It was Sam. I don't know. I thought it was in the past."
Rachel knew that feeling all too well. The whole reason it didn't work out with Puck and Jesse is that Rachel knew that it was Finn that she loved. "Yeah, I think you just need to take it slow, okay? And listen to your heart. Maybe the spark with Sam is still there."
x
Mr. Schue had asked Finn to meet him in his classroom. Finn didn't know why, but he agreed to do it. When he went in, he was surprised to see Miss Pillsbury and his parents there. "Uh... hi."
Burt pointed at a chair. "Have a seat."
Finn sat down. Why were they here? "Okay."
Burt seemed to tell Finn was confused and explained why they were there. "Will, uh... told us about your plans for the future."
Finn didn't want that shared. "Yeah, which was supposed to be private."
"I knew telling them might upset you, but I felt obligated to bring Burt and your mom into this discussion. This is a big decision," Mr. Schue admitted.
What was Finn supposed to say now? "Well, you know, I was... I was going to tell you guys about it sooner or later."
Burt seemed upset. "Look, Finn, you know what want, okay? I'm gonna need somebody to take over the shop while I'm off in DC, and if I let your brother do it, he's gonna have all the grey small monkeys wearing white dinner jacket."
Finn laughed. "Yeah, he would. Well I'm not in the scene tomorrow."
"Okay, well I'm glad. Now, because I'm antimilitary or anything like that. I just don't get where you're coming from with this," Burt said.
"Well, my dad was a war hero," Finn explained. "I have an obligation to him to be a good man. To make something of myself, to help people like he did."
Carole looked upset. "I knew it was about him."
"You don't have to prove to anyone that your dad's in you," Miss Pillsbury assured Finn. "Everybody already knows what kind of man you are."
"Yeah, but how can really know until you get tested? And what better way than to walk in his footsteps?" Finn asked.
Carole looked like she'd been holding something in that she had to let it. "Your dad was a good man. He was brave and true, and he had the same goofy sense of humor you do. But he didn't die in Iraq. He served over there, but something happened to him. I never found out what. Uh, I... he... I don't know if he... he did something or saw something just lost his way, but... but he broke."
Finn could already tell he didn't like where this was going. "He died a hero's death, right?"
"He died in Cincinnati after being dishonorably discharged," Carole admitted. "Honey, he had a drug problem that he tried to get over when he came home, for you mostly but then he would just... disappear for a day or a week sometimes. One day, he just didn't come back. It was an overdose."
So Finn's dad wasn't a hero. He'd died from an overdose. Finn felt like he was going to throw up. "Oh, I feel sick."
Burt gave Finn a sympathetic look. "It's a lot to hear. Just, you know, take it slow."
"Oh, my God," Carole sobbed. "I see everything that was good in him... I see it all in you."
Finn didn't want his mom pretending she did nothing wrong. He jumped up. "Why did you lie to me? Why?"
"Because your dad was so much more than the last few months of his life," Carole admitted. "That man he became was not your father. Honey, I was going to tell you when I thought you were ready."
Finn still couldn't stomach what he'd been told. "Well, I'm not ready. I mean, how... how, how did you think I could ever be ready for something like that?" Unable to hold it in anymore, he ran out of the classroom and to his car, where he cried for a little while. He'd wanted to think that his dad was a hero. Someone special. Someone he could aspire to be. Now his dad was... he was ashamed to call him his dad.
Finn got out his phone and sent Rachel a text. "Where are you?"
"I'm at Breadstix with Kurt," Rachel texted back.
Finn didn't want to wait until she got home. "Can I come join you guys?"
"Of course," Rachel texted back.
Finn drove to Breadstix, where Rachel and Kurt were sitting at a booth. As soon as he walked in, he could tell that Rachel knew something was wrong. "Finn, what's wrong?" Rachel asked.
Finn collapsed in the chair. "My mom lied to me."
"What?" Rachel asked.
"My dad didn't really die saving people," Finn admitted. "He died of a drug overdose." It hurt his stomach to say that. He'd spent his whole life looking up to his father, but his father wasn't the man he'd been led to believe he was.
Kurt looked shocked. "A drug overdose?"
"Yeah," Finn admitted. "My mom just told me that my dad had a drug problem after he came back from the war and then went and died in Cincinnati. She said the man he was when he got home wasn't my father."
"Oh my God," Rachel said, moving closer to Finn.
"I can't believe she lied to me," Finn mumbled.
"Me either," Kurt said. "I remember the first time I came over and you were talking about him..."
"No wonder none of my dreams ever work out," Finn groaned. "Cause I got loser DNA."
"Well, if you're throwing a pity party, I want in," Kurt said. I have as much chance getting into NYADA as I do playing Stanley in Streetcar.
"Yeah, well, the letters came out from NYADA today saying who are finalists, and I have been trolling the NYADA chat rooms, and people are already talking about getting those letters," Rachel said.
Finn couldn't believe Rachel and Kurt weren't finalists. "You didn't get one?"
"No, and I'm not going to, because Figgins put an addendum to my application talking about my suspension," Rachel complained.
Kurt signaled for the waiter. "Screw this. I'm getting a whole cheesecake." He turned back to Finn and Rachel. "The future used to be such an abstract idea, and the dream was enough, you know? But now the future has the nerve to show up, and it's expecting us to do something, and it's not interested in giving a lending hand."
Finn totally agreed with what Kurt said. "I'm actually kind of scared. I thought the world would care more," Rachel said.
"Make that two cheesecakes," Kurt said.
"I actually thought we were all going to get out of here, you know?" Finn told Kurt and Rachel. "Why did she have to tell me that? And why can't I have something in my life that's... special, that means something?"
Rachel just leaned over and gave Finn a hug. "I'm so sorry."
"Thank you," Finn said. He didn't know what else to say."
x
The next day in glee club, Mr. Schue asked if anyone had any proposal numbers in mind, and Rachel came to the front of the room. "This is not only a suggestion, but this is a song I have for Finn," Rachel said. "I know we're going through a scary time in our lives. I know that we're going to hear things we don't want to hear. I know there's lots of uncertainty. But I also know that no matter what, I'm going to love you, and I want you to know how much I love you." The piano began playing, and Rachel began what Finn thought was her best song ever.
Rachel: I can't win, I can't reign
I will never win this game
Without you, without you
I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without you, without you
I won't run, I won't fly
I will never make it by
Without you, without you
I can't rest, I can't fight
All I need is you and I,
Without you, without you
Oh, oh, oh!
You! You! You!
Without
You! You! You!
Without you
I can't erase, so I'll take blame
But I can't accept that we're estranged
Without you, without you
I can't quit now, this can't be right
I can't take one more sleepless night
Without you, without you
I won't soar, I won't climb
If you're not here, I'm paralyzed
Without you, without you
I can't look, I'm so blind
I lost my heart, I lost my mind
Without you, without you
Oh, oh, oh!
You! You! You!
Without
You! You! You!
Without you
I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without you, without you
Without you
At the end of the song, Finn went up to Rachel and gave her a kiss. He knew that she was right. No matter what happened, they were going to have each other. He had something special in his life - her. And he could see them having a great life together. Now he was beginning to wonder - was it too early to make things official that he and Rachel were meant to spend their lives together?
x
The New Directions ended up deciding to do Rihanna's We Found Love for the proposal number for Mr. Schue and Miss Pillsbury. The synchronized swim team was also going to be helping out with a routine, leading them in the dance. Mr. Schue arrived with Miss Pillsbury as the song began.
Rachel: Yellow diamonds in the light
Now we're standing side by side
As your shadow crosses mine
What it takes to come alive
It's the way I'm feeling I just can't deny
But I've gotta let it go
New Directions: We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
Santana: Shine a light through an open door
Love and life I will divide
Turn away cause I need you more
Feel the heartbeat in my mind...
Rachel: It's the way I'm feeling I just can't deny...
(New Directions: I just can't deny)
Rachel and Santana: But I've gotta let it go, oh hoah woah
New Directions: We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
Rachel: Yellow diamonds in the light (Santana: In the light)
And we're standing side by side (Santana: Oh)
As your shadow
Rachel and Santana: Crosses mine...
Santana: We found love!
New Directions: We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
Rachel: We found love!
New Directions: We found love in a hopeless place (Santana: Oh-oh!)
We found love in a hopeless place
(Santana: We found love)
We found love in a hopeless place
(Rachel: Ooh)
(Rachel and Santana: We found love)
We found love in a hopeless place
At the end of the song, Mr. Schue paused in front of Miss Pillsbury. Finn listened closely, trying to figure out the right things to say if he ended up deciding to go through with asking Rachel to marry him. "Emma, you are the one," Mr. Schue said. "You always have been. The truth is, I feel like I've had to stop myself from doing this from the second I first saw you. The first time I held this hand, it felt like I'd held it a million times before. Like somehow, it's always been here. Life is messy. It just is. And I... I know that's hard for you, but that's why you have me, to balance things out. But you have to realize, you do that for me, too. Every day. Loving you and being loved by you makes everything better. I love you with everything I am and everything I ever hope to be. So... Emma Pillsbury... will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"
Miss Pillsbury stared at the ring. "I love you so much."
"Is that a yes?" Mr. Schue asked.
"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Miss Pillsbury said.
As the glee club cheered, Finn now knew for sure he wanted to go through with asking Rachel to marry him. Since they were a lot younger, he was going to do it in a private place, but he knew he wanted to do it.
x
Rachel walked to the auditorium, where Finn was waiting for her. She saw him on the stage, looking at a photo of his dad. "You have his eyes. His mouth a little bit, too."
Finn looked over his shoulder and saw Rachel. "I've always had trouble finding myself in his face. You know, when I was kid, I used to stare up at the wall, his picture hanging there, and I used to convince myself we were, like, twins."
Rachel didn't know that. "Is that why you asked me to meet you here? To talk about your dad?"
Finn stood up. "No, no. I, uh, I want to talk about you. About us. I was gonna lay out a picnic, like the one you had for our first date, but I couldn't really figure out where you got those cool airplane cups, so..."
Rachel smiled at the memory. "And I told you you could kiss me if you wanted to. I never understood why you ran off so quickly."
"Yeah, I was just nervous," Finn admitted.
"Oh, I could never make you nervous," Rachel giggled.
"Kind of nervous right now," Finn said.
Rachel was confused. "Wait, what's going on?"
"Look, uh, I have something to talk to you about, but I want you to promise me that you won't say a word until I'm done. Okay, and I know that's sort of hard for you, so I need you to promise me," Finn said.
Rachel still didn't know where this was going. "Okay, I promise."
"Um, I just feel like, all my life, I've been, you know, wondering if I was gonna be as much of a man as my father was," Finn began. "Now, all of a sudden, I'm up at night worried that I'm gonna become the man who he was. Let's face it, I got, I got 'high school hero, life zero' written all over me. Except for one thing: you." Rachel knew that wasn't true, but Finn told her not to talk. "You're like a beacon of light guiding me through the darkness. You're like this big gold star, and for some bizarre reason, you chose to let me love you. And I feel like if I can just convince you to let me keep doing that, I'm going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay." He reached into his pocket. "I opened up my first credit card to get this. I know it's not a swimming pool full of dancers or a tux or it's not very big, but it's a promise, a promise to keep loving you for the rest of my life. All you've got to do is say yes." Finn knelt down and opened the box, revealing a ring. "Rachel Berry, will you marry me?"
An engagement ring? Rachel had never seen this coming. She knew that she wanted to marry Finn - someday. But were they ready to do this now? Shouldn't they wait until they were out of college with stable jobs? She loved Finn, she never wanted to be with anyone else... but they were still young. What was she supposed to say?
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