Hey everyone! Thanks for all your reviews on the last chapter. I know that lots of people don't like this episode because of Rachel offering to not go to New York, but I think that showed a lot of character growth. Finn really made Rachel into a much better person and I was so proud of her. Enjoy and review if you want me to keep going!
Chapter 63: Saturday Night Glee-ver
Rachel couldn't stop thinking about what Finn had said to her.
He was worried that she didn't love him, that she just loved the idea of having a boy to be with. That was not true. In fact, that couldn't be farther from the truth. If that was the case, she would have been just as happy with Puck and Jesse. It hadn't worked out with them because she still loved Finn.
For Rachel's entire life, she'd been attending dance, music and acting lessons, to prepare for a career on Broadway. She couldn't even remember a period where she was doing anything else. Was it really that she wanted to be on Broadway? Or was it just that her theatre-loving parents had been sending her to these lessons for so long that she couldn't even imagine doing anything else? She hadn't even had the time to develop other interests and hobbies or look into other careers.
Before Finn came into Rachel's life, everyone Rachel knew hated her. Her dads had raised her to think that she was special and that she was better than everyone else because she was so talented. Maybe it was because her dads were really the only people she was close to before meeting Finn that she believed it for a while. But at the same time, she knew that no one liked her. She was tired of being the only person left when the teacher asked the students to partner up and spending lunch by herself every day.
Then she and Finn both joined Glee and they grew close. Through spending time with someone who liked her and accepted her, Rachel realized that there was more to her than music and Broadway. And she shouldn't have been so dismissive of the idea of going someplace other than New York.
The thing was, since she'd been in Broadway related activities for so long, she wasn't sure if she would be very good at something else...
x
Rachel hadn't talked to Finn since what happened in the hall.
Finn felt horrible about it. Yes, he thought she was being a little unreasonable, but at the same time, he understood where she was coming from. Her whole life, she'd been working toward the same goal. Part of what being in a relationship was about was about making compromises, but maybe he was taking things a bit too far.
That accusation - of course. He knew that Rachel loved him. She was the only person other than his family who she knew loved him unconditionally. What if she was going to break up with him or end the engagement?
Finn took a seat in glee club. It felt weird not sitting by Rachel. Mr. Schue was explaining the contest. A dance contest to win a suit from Saturday Night Fever. Okay. Finn couldn't dance, so this wasn't going to go to him anyway. He continued to think about Rachel when his turn came and watched her. She wouldn't end things, right?
"Okay, officially, officially, you guys are amazing!" Mr. Schue said after everyone had danced. "I was just conferring with my co-judge, and our three finalists for the suit are Santana Lopez, Mercedes Jones and Finn Hudson."
Finn was a finalist? He was one of the worst dancers. Everyone knew that. "Give it up!" Coach Sylvester said as everyone clapped.
"Okay, I'll see the finalists, the rest of you can go," Mr. Schue said.
Finn couldn't talk to Rachel now since she had left. Mr. Schue led Finn, Santana and Mercedes to his office and sat them down. "Congrats, guys. You three are the finalists of the Saturday Night Fever Dance Competition."
"Whoo!" Finn cheered. Maybe he was right and his dancing was getting better.
"High stakes here," Mr. Schue continued. "Which one of you will walk away with Sue's coveted white suit?"
"Sounds kind of cool to me," Finn said.
"Oh, great. It's yours. Can we go now?" Mercedes asked.
"Okay, look, this isn't really about a suit," Mr. Schue admitted. "It's about living out your dreams. Of all the seniors in New Directions, you three have yet to decide what it is you want to do with your lives. So your assignment for the week: perform a song from Saturday Night Fever, and then share your hopes for the future."
So now even Mr. Schue was noticing Finn didn't know what he wanted to do with himself after graduation.
x
Rachel looked at Finn across the hall. She wished she could go apologize to him, but he hadn't talked to her, so maybe he didn't want to. Kurt saw Rachel looking at Finn and came over. "You should talk to him. Help him."
"He called me spoiled and self-centered, okay," Rachel told Kurt. "He can come to me and talk to me first."
"That's a great way to start a marriage," Kurt snapped.
"What if he doesn't want to talk to me?" Rachel asked.
"He does," Kurt said. "I live with him, remember? He feels horrible about what he said. He's afraid to come to you because he thinks you're mad at him."
"I'm really not mad at him," Rachel told Kurt. "I'm mad at myself."
"What do you mean?" Kurt asked.
"I was just being so unreasonable," Rachel said. "I should give his dreams a chance, too."
"Well, I know he's willing to talk to you," Kurt said.
"Okay," Rachel said. "I'll talk to him." She got out her phone and sent a tweet to twitter. "Anyone who's engaged to me should come to the auditorium." Then she went to the auditorium, hoping Finn would meet her there.
x
Finn stood at his locker when Puck came over. "So what's up, dude? We doing this LA thing or what? 'Cause I had to go apartment-shopping. And if I get a one-bedroom, you're screwed. Two dudes in one bed is like confirmed gay."
Finn didn't know what he wanted to do, but he knew he didn't want to clean pools. "I can't. Look, that's your dream, not mine."
Puck looks disappointed. "Dude, I can't go without you. You're my best friend."
"You can do anything without me, man, okay?" Finn told Puck. "You never needed me before."
"Yeah, but if you're there with me, then that big city won't seem so... scary," Puck admitted.
Puck? Scared? "Scary? Scary?" Finn asked. "Nothing scares you, man. Your five-mile ride on top of Mrs. Witt's Chrysler is still a car-surfing record, okay. Seriously, you'll have that place wired in no time."
"So if you're not going with me, what are you going to do?" Puck asked.
"I still really don't know," Finn admitted.
"Well, do me one favor, would you? When you do find your dream, make it as big as you are. I don't know much, but I know this. You owe it to yourself. And now you owe it to me," Puck told Finn.
Finn felt his phone vibrate. There was a new notification from Rachel on Twitter. She'd tweeted "Anyone who's engaged to me should come to the auditorium." Finn went to the auditorium and saw Rachel waiting there. "I got your tweet. 'Anyone who's engaged to me should come to the auditorium.' You could've just texted."
Rachel gave Finn a sweet look. "Yeah, but I wasn't sure if we were speaking. I miss you."
"I miss you, too," Finn said.
Rachel gave Finn a big hug. "Now I feel like I'm finally reentering my body. I really don't like not talking to you. I mean, nothing feels real unless you're there to tell it to."
Finn felt the same way. "I never realized how much time we spent talking."
"I've been thinking, and if you don't want to go to New York, then we don't have to," Rachel continued.
So Rachel was going to just give up her dreams? "That's crazy. I don't want to stand in the way of your dreams," Finn told Rachel.
"Look, the only reason why we've been focusing on my dreams is because we haven't taken the time to look into yours. What if your dreams are bigger than mine?" Rachel asked.
Finn had to admit that he still didn't know what to do. "I don't think that's going to be a problem. I mean, I did one of those quizzes online that was supposed to tell you what job you'd be good at, and my results were competitive eating champion." What did that mean anyway.
Rachel motioned for a chair. "Okay, sit down. My whole life, I felt like I was in the wrong place. Like I was just some alien, and no one understood me. But all I had to do was just go to New York. Go home to Broadway, and then everything would be fine. But I was wrong. My home isn't some place, it's someone. It's you. Of course, I want us to go to New York, and maybe we will, but not until we give your dreams an equal shot."
Finn couldn't believe Rachel was willing to put him ahead of her lifelong dreams. "You love me that much?"
Rachel nodded. "Are you just figuring that out now? So, can I please sing to you about it? I mean, it's from the movie, and it's really good."
Of course Finn wanted to hear her sing, but he decided to tease her. "Do I have a choice?"
Rachel giggled. "Well, you know, I kind of planned the whole singing thing first, just in case you took a little convincing."
Finn laughed. "No choice."
Rachel gave Finn a flirty smile. "I'd hate for it to go to waste." The jazz band began playing music as Rachel sang to Finn.
Rachel: Ooh
I know your eyes in the morning sun
I feel you touch me in the pouring rain
And the moment that you wander far from me
I wanna feel you in my arms again
And you come to me on a summer breeze
Keep me warm in your love
Then you softly leave
And it's me you need to show
How deep is your love
How deep is your love
How deep is your love
Ooh
I really need to learn
'Cause we're living in a world of fools
Breaking us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me
I believe in you
You know the door to my very soul
You're the light in my deepest, darkest hour
You're my savior when I fall
And you may not think I care for you
When you know down inside that I really do
And it's me you need to show
How deep is your love
How deep is your love
How deep is your love
Ooh
I really need to learn
'Cause we're living in a world of fools
Breaking us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me
Da da da da
And you come to me on a summer breeze
Keep me warm in your love,
Then you softly leave
And it's me you need to show
How deep is your love
How deep is your love
How deep is your love
I really need to learn
Ooh I really need to learn
'Cause we're
Living in a world of fools
Breaking us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me
Dada
Ooh oh oh
How deep is your love
How deep is your love
I really need to learn
'Cause we're living in a world of fools
Breaking us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me
Yeah!
How deep is your love
How deep is your love
Oh
I really need to learn
'Cause we're living in a world of fools
Breaking us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me
At the end of the song, Finn went up to Rachel and gave her a kiss. "I love you. Do you think there's still schools accepting applications in New York?"
"Let's go find out," Rachel said, taking Finn's hand and leading him to Miss Pillsbury's office.
x
Rachel was so glad that Finn wasn't mad at her. It turned out that there were some schools in both New York and Ohio that were still taking applications, so Finn and Rachel could apply to those places together and figure things out. She'd arranged for them to meet with Miss Pillsbury and Mr. Schue, and Miss Pillsbury had pamphlets and applications for multiple schools. "This pile is places in Ohio that you actually have a shot at an athletic scholarship, so you hang onto those. And then these are the ones with the cool glossy papers that you got excited about," Miss Pillsbury told Finn, handing him the pamphlets and applications they'd looked at.
"What do you think, Finn? Think your dream is hidden in there somewhere?" Mr. Schue asked.
"I don't know. This is a lot of choices," Finn said.
Rachel tried to sound encouraging. "Well, there's no rush. I mean, there's a little, you know, rush, because the applications are due soon, and, well, I mean, there's the whole we need to figure out where we're gonna begin our lives thing, but there's no rush."
Finn picked up the papers. "Okay. Well, I guess I just need to take some time with these by myself, and see if I can, you know, shake a dream out of here somehow."
"It's in there," Miss Pillsbury said.
Finn stood up to leave. "Okay. Thanks. All of you."
"Hey Finn, we believe in you," Mr. Schue said.
"Thanks," Finn said.
x
Finn wasn't sure if he'd do well in college. His grades had improved this year and last year, but there were countless honors students in high school who'd struggled in college. Since he'd just become an honors student...
Mr. Schue passed Finn at his locker and tapped his shoulder. "Come with me."
Finn followed Mr. Schue to his classroom. When they arrived, Mr. Schue took the pamphlets that Finn had thrown in the trash and put them on a desk in front of them. How did Mr. Schue know Finn had done that? "What, are you going through the garbage now?"
"Oh, come on. I know you were just humoring us in there. I could see it in your face. So I followed you out," Mr. Schue said.
Finn was afraid to admit he was afraid of college. "What was I supposed to say, man? Sorry, I'd rather puke than spend a minute in any of those places? Right in front of Rachel, with a big smile on her face, all proud of herself?"
"She just wants what's best for you," Mr. Schue said.
"Yeah, she does. Until she realizes her fiancé is a total loser," Finn groaned.
"Is that what you're scared of?" Mr. Schue asked.
"It's the truth. Doesn't anybody understand that maybe the reason I don't know what to do with my life is because I'm not qualified to do anything," Finn admitted.
"You just don't know what you want yet," Mr. Schue said.
Finn felt his thoughts pouring out. "What I want is for time to stop. Okay? I want it to feel like I'm on the football field and the crowd's going nuts! Or I want it to feel like I'm on the stage during a performance, and everybody's on their feet."
"So let's find something out there that gives you that feeling," Mr. Schue said.
"Of being young? Where is it? Show me," Finn said.
Mr. Schue handed Finn a movie. "I want you to watch this for me."
Finn looked at the Saturday Night Fever tape. "Look, Mr. Schue, I don't really feel like doing my Glee homework right now, I just..."
"I think you know what you want for your life. I think you're just scared to say it out loud. I want you to see what it looks like when someone follows their dream, even though everyone else tells them it's impossible. You can do anything you want to, Finn. It's not the broken dreams that break us. It's the ones we didn't dare to dream," Mr. Schue said.
Finn turned on the movie and was reminded of himself when he saw the main character, Tony Manero. Tony had been a bit clueless at first, but then he really made a difference in the world with his talents. And if movies could help make this difference with people - maybe movies were what he could do with his life.
x
Finn sent Rachel a text to ask her to meet him in the choir room. He had applied to a school and he knew what he wanted to do in New York now, and he wanted to tell her. He also wanted her to help him with his glee assignment.
Rachel came in. "Hey. You said you wanted to see me?"
"Yeah," Finn said. "I think I finally figured out what song from Saturday Night Fever I want to do, but it doesn't work without a dance partner. Well, actually, it doesn't work without you... just like everything else in my life."
Rachel smiled. Finn held out his hand and led Rachel in the dance as he sang the song he planned to do for his assignment.
Finn: Oh, girl, I've known you very well
I've seen you growing every day
I never really looked before
But now you take my breath away
Suddenly you're in my life
Part of everything I do
You got me working day and night
Just trying to keep a hold on you
Here in your arms I found my paradise
My only chance for happiness
And if I lose you now I think I would die
Oh, say you'll always be my baby
We can make it shine
We can take forever
Just a minute at a time
Oh, oh, oh
More than a woman
More than a woman to me
More than a woman
More than a woman to me
Oh, say you'll always be my baby
We can make it shine
We can take forever
Just a minute at a time
Oh, oh
More than a woman
More than a woman to me
More than a woman
More than a woman to me
Oh, oh, oh
More than a woman (Oh)
More than a woman to me (Oh, so much more)
More than a woman (Oh, baby)
More than a woman to me (More than a woman to me)
More than a woman (Oh, oh, oh)
More than a woman to me (Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah)
More than a woman (Oh, baby)
More than a woman to me Yeah, yeah)
More than a woman
"That was incredible!" Rachel said at the end of the song. "That was amazing! You're definitely gonna win the prize."
"I already did. But look, there's more. I figured out what I'm gonna do next year. Can we sit down?" Finn asked.
Rachel sat down. "Why am I nervous?"
"Don't be nervous," Finn said. "Mr. Schue made me watch Saturday Night Fever. It was really good, and I realized I'm a lot like Tony Manero. Except for the whole being-able-to-dance thing. When I saw that movie, I realized the way that Tony took on the world... I want to do that, too. I want to move to New York. Like Tony. Like you. I want to live in New York City with you."
Rachel got excited. "Really?"
"Yeah," Finn said.
"Are you serious?!" Rachel said with excitement.
"Yeah," Finn repeated.
Rachel gave Finn a big hug. "I knew it. I'm gonna make you really happy, I promise."
"There's more. Just wait," Finn continued. "Uh, what was that acting show, on Bravo, with the swear words and the cool dude you made me watch?"
"James Lipton," Rachel said.
"Yeah. I applied to his school. I want to go to Inside the Actors' Studio," Finn revealed.
"It's just The Actors' Studio, but that's great," Rachel said. "It's a perfect, perfect fit for you. You just, you know, you can't... do this for me, all right? It has to be for you. It's too much pressure for me to handle."
"It is for you, but it's also what I want," Finn said. "It's my dream. I want to be an actor. I guess I was always afraid to admit it because I was scared of failing, but I'm not scared anymore, 'cause of you. I want to be a great man for you, Rachel. And I want to see myself the way you see me; like I'm capable of anything. Dreaming big. I love you so much and you deserve that."
Rachel smiled wide. "You're my hero; you know that, right?"
"You're mine," Finn said.
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