I have absolutely no idea what you expect to happen to me. Perhaps those with strong imaginations may see me being swallowed, surrounded by their previous dinner, before passing out the other end due to a mix of bravery from me and natural actions from the cyclops, if you know what I mean. To those people, I say that you really need to stop taking biology, it is doing you no favours. Others may see me as the hero, using my power over wind or something-rather to save myself from a terrible fate. While I appreciate the way you envision me, that unfortunately did not happen either.
I have said it before. Life of a demi-god is no piece of cake. However, it just so happens that I was lucky this time.
For once in his life Luke used his quick thinking skills (what? I mean, have you seen your godly father when he tries to make poetry!? It takes him ages! I know you know…) by turning his bracelet from a double bass into the flattest instrument he could think of: a harp. Then, without even taking the time to consider if the harp was sharp enough to dent a fricking cyclops, he hurls the instrument at the offending creature.
What followed was about as disgusting as you might envision.
Rather than impale the monster and turn it to dust as normal, an action that is something I would rather not think about, as it is unclear whether I would have disappeared with it, it clangs against the stomach instead. Got to hand it to my protector and his strong throwing arm, as it would have taken some serious strength to actually toss an instrument that heavy at that great a distance and hit the target. What followed the clanging was perhaps the grossest account of regurgitation ever.
Yep, I was spewed out.
Out of the mouth of the cyclops came half a horse, tons of yellow-green goo and one drenched jewel of the gods. All in all, it was not a pretty sight to behold, and I won't even go into the details of my visit into the gut. Best to not give you all nightmares. Needless to say that I was humiliated that I had fallen for such a classic trick in the first place. The fact that my clothing smelt strongly of puke was not helping matters in the slightest.
At least I was saved by my knight in shining armour. The happiness at seeing me alive and breathing was clear in his face as he helped me stand up. For the first time since we were claimed there was not ounce of self-deprivation or remorse on his face, just pure elation that he had been able to successfully fulfil his role as protector.
Not caring a whit about the ooze I was covered in, I kissed him, as any good damsel in distress does. The magic of kissing him had only intensifies since yesterday, and once again I was drawn in by the delicious taste of Luke's mouth, leaving any though in the dust as our lips parted and tongues explored.
It wasn't until we ran out of breath that we parted, mutually satisfied with our growing relationship and aware that snogging was not the best idea considering the fact that we were still surrounded by sleeping cyclopes. Luke certainly grew aware of this fact, breathlessly informing me that we should kill them and spare the next poor soul to fall for their tricks. To which I glared at him playfully, before willing my weapon ring into a spear and helping him to slay the monsters that had attempted to kill me.
After the fire had been put out and the creatures had been reduced to dust the adrenaline slowly dulled away to be replaced by a growing awareness of just how much I reeked. As I scrunched up my nose in disgust Luke rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, undoubtedly remembering that my dignified fall into the mouth of a cyclops was his doing.
One of the things that I truly remember vividly of this trip I took with Luke was how proud I was of him for saving my sorry arse. After all, if I hadn't panicked and ran out of the bus the prophecy I had felt earlier that day would never have come to light. But as my godly mother's wisdom reminded me, everybody makes mistakes. Even the Jewel of Olympus. And so rather than fall into the pit of despair that was my failures, I instead focused on the beautiful man standing in front of me.
Holding his hand, I whispered praises in his ear. "You saved me. Nobody else gets that distinction but you. I am proud to call you my protector, the one that I care about, the only one I want to console me after my nightmares or sing to me at night. I am so glad you are here. I couldn't do any of this without you." As I spoke I looked him straight in the eye, making sure that he had no doubts concerning the sincerity of my words. And when he took me into his arms and held me tight against him I knew he believed me.
After the emotional mush was over, I boldly declared that I was going to invade the nearest house and take a long-needed shower because damn if I was getting on that bus less than my gorgeous self. Practically dragging a laughing Luke along with me I braved the front door with all my Hephaestus knowhow and made a beeline straight for the bathroom.
Okay, before you all start wolf whistling I must inform your sex-crazed minds that no, the two of us did not share a shower (NO Luke, I am not telling them about that… because its none of their business, that's why). We each took turns standing guard outside the door while the other cleansed themselves, because I was desperate enough to break into a house without checking if it was empty or not (I am sure that if you smelt as bad as I did you would not hesitate either).
I did of course have enough sense to summon money to leave as a 'sorry we had a shower in your house' apology. If the owners of that house are reading this, then I cannot stress how sorry we truly are. Feel free to contact us: we'll know you are the true owners when you correctly name the stolen product we took (what can I say, being the daughter of Aphrodite means that when I see I take).
Finally reaching the bus with our eyelids drooping heavily and our feet dragging behind us, we barely made it to the back seat before we were well and truly out of it. After such a long day of driving, making out and dealing with monsters we deserved a goodnights sleep, curled up in each other's arms and eternally grateful to be alive.
Thank goodness that the gods for once agreed.
…..
Back on the road, I once again mentally thanked the bus for being awesome and easily stealable. After all, the presence of a toilet was a luxury I appreciated having after waking up and needing to pee so bad this morning. Also, being able to actually sleep horizontally on a long bench far proceeded the uncomfortable seat of the car we were in before. Never mind the fact that it was huge enough to make me feel invincible, looking down at all the poor souls stuck in their tiny tin cans they call cars as I bowl past in the clunk of metal.
Unfortunately I could not appreciate the automobile in its entirely due to an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. Ever since I felt the prediction the day before, I had become aware that a similar prophecy may hit me at any point. What I was feeling at that exact moment was too reminiscent of earlier to be a coincident. I could feel that something infinitely worse than anything we had yet faced was coming. And that it would test our strength and will to the max.
Little did I know how important that prophecy would be to our quest and our future. Little did I know that I was close to finding the camp, that I would clasp eyes on my brother for the first time.
As well as attempting to make sense of what my stomach was trying to tell me, I was also intently focused on Luke. God that boy was distracting, with his lip nibbling habits and slow head bang in time to whatever song he was listening to on the iPod. Such seduction should be illegal for someone to so flawlessly pull off. I knew I wasn't innocent in the exchange: every time I felt his eyes on me I would either make some sort of sensual noise or lazily play with my hair. Basically, we were both riling each other up.
Considering how distracted I was, it is no surprise that my hands on the steering wheel moved on their own accord. It was only when I saw through the corner of my eyes a large obstructive object that I realised I should have been paying more attention to the road.
The crash was imminent. And the fire that followed was even more so.
So much for the bus.