Chapter 5

Emma makes her way back into the kitchen, grabbing her mug of now cold coffee and slumping into a chair. Her mind is swirling, trying to make sense of the last five minutes. She has no idea what to make of it; was their conversation good? Was it bad? Did she push too much? Emma runs her fingers through her tangled golden locks and thumps her head on the kitchen island repeatedly, letting out a groan in the process. I screwed up.

She hears her door open and she groans again, really not wanting any company at the moment. "Please go away," she calls out, her forehead still pressed against the marble surface, "I'm getting over a hang over."

"Oh, don't be so dramatic," she hears Ruby scoff, so she lifts her head. The brunette is sitting beside her with a smirk plastered on her face. "You do look like shit though."

"I feel like shit."

"Well, I was going to talk to you about Victor, but clearly something else happened yesterday night. So spill."

Emma rolls her eyes and sips her coffee, not really caring how cold it is. "Nothing happened."

"Don't give me that, Emma. I'm not that dumb. I can tell when you're lying."

"Fine," the blonde grumbles, averting her attention to her mug, "Killian stayed the night."

"He what?"

"Stayed the night. So anyway-"

"He stayed the night?"

"Yes. Pay attention. As I was saying-"

"Killian sexy-pants Jones stayed the night and you said nothing happened?!"

"Ruby, would you shut up so I can tell you more?"

"Yea, sorry."

Emma sighs and stares straight ahead, trying very hard not to make eye contact with her friend. She knows exactly what Ruby was thinking. (And it is way off from what actually happened.) "We were both drunk, and he couldn't drive home like that, so I let him stay over. But nothing happened that night. He just slept on the couch."

"And?"

"And what?"

Ruby rolls her eyes and lets out a frustrated sigh. "Come on, Ems. Something happened this morning. I can tell."

"He made me breakfast, I brought up something I probably shouldn't have, and we had this little... God I don't know how to describe it. I want to say connection, like we found something that shows we're kindred in some way, but I don't think that's the right word. Anyway, after our little thing, he left. Just like that. I couldn't say or do anything. He was just… gone."

"Maybe he just got nervous. I mean, he might've been a wreck too. Maybe he's just trying to figure out what happened between you two."

"Or maybe I fucked up."

Ruby leans across the kitchen island and takes Emma's hands in hers. "Look, Ems, this is your first relationship-like thing in awhile, and it might be the same situation for Killian. It's normal for people to get nervous around the ones they're attracted to. So try not to make it something you did wrong. Think of it as something you did right."

Emma smiles at her friend. "You know, sometimes your wisdom surprises me."

Her friend laughs. "I know. I sometimes surprise myself too. I should go. I can tell you about Victor when you get rid of your hang over."

.

It's two days before Mary Margaret and David leave for their honeymoon to Spain, and Emma finds herself driving to their loft across town. She feels bad for stopping by unannounced, knowing that they're probably trying to get everything ready for their trip, but she really needs to talk to David.

She walks up four flights of stairs (woo exercise) and knocks on the door. Part of her is nervous, not knowing what David will say or think if she tells him what's on her mind, but she really needs to just get it out of her system.

David opens the door and greets her with a smile. "Hey Emma!"

"Hey David! Is Mary Margaret there?"

"No, you just missed her. She left around ten minutes ago to get some last minute things for our trip."

"Oh, that's okay. I wanted to talk to you. Can I come in?"

David steps aside and Emma walks in, following him to their kitchen table.

"So what's up?"

Emma chews on her bottom lip and stares at the table for a little bit before answering. "How do you know Killian?"

"Killian Jones," he says with a chuckle, shaking his head a little before responding. "We met when we were very young. I think it was seventh grade. We've been friends ever since. We've been through a lot together."

"So I've heard."

"Wait what? How?"

Emma lets out a groan because she really doesn't want the whole world to know what happened two nights ago, but David looks really confused and she knows she would feel bad if she left him in the dark. "Killian, er, stayed at my place a couple nights ago."

"Oh!" His eyebrows shoot up in surprise, but then he gives her a grin that makes her fear for what he has to say next. "Did you two-"

"No! We just talked. And got drunk."

"But are you two a thing now?"

"No. I mean, I don't know, but that's not why I'm here."

"Okay..."

"Look, when we were drunk, Killian told me about Milah. It just kinda reminded me of, you know, Walsh. But when I brought it up the next morning, it went badly. He blamed himself for what happened-"

"Come on, Ems, just ask me."

"What happened?"

David sighs and massages his temples. "Emma, I don't think Killian would want me to tell you. I mean, it took him a long time to get over her."

"Is it like what Walsh did to me?"

"Yes. A lot like what Walsh did to you."

They sit in silence, and Emma continues to chew on her bottom lip while contemplating how to say what she's trying to get at.

"Do you think he's worth it?" she whispers, avoiding David's gaze. "I want to like him. I want to trust him. I want to be the girl I used to be. I really do. But I'm scared, David. I keep remembering about what happened in the past, and now I can't let down my walls for anyone. Not after Walsh. He's just the bitter reminder of what happens when you give someone your heart. And I don't want to find out the hard way that Killian is exactly the same."

"Emma," David says softly, taking her hands in his, "Killian isn't Walsh. I can tell you that right now. He is honorable, and when he falls for someone, he falls hard. He isn't some sleazy douche that Walsh is. After what happened between him and Milah, he says he hasn't found the one yet. But you two, you two are different. You guys have so many things in common, it's kind of insane."

"What? No. Besides the heartbreak, we have nothing else in common."

"Oh really? Well, after his heartbreak, he put up his walls, refused to let anyone help him until he broke down, dove straight into his work, and his liqueur cabinet, to take his mind off of what happened-"

"Okay, okay, I get it. We both have the same post-break up routines. But he is a flirt. I can tell. His eyes, his accent, how he treats women. The fact that he's a musician doesn't help either. He's basically the adult version of one of those boys in that band, 5 seconds of winter or whatever, that all the female students in my class are obsessed with. He can get any girl he wants. I'm probably just one of his quests."

"But you're not. You're different." Emma brings her attention from the hem of her jacket to David, who has a small smile on his face. "He's changed, Ems. He has an idea of what you've been through. He doesn't want to rush you or make you feel uncomfortable."

She can feel her cheeks burning and she brings her eyes down to the floor. "How do you know?" she asks quietly.

"He told me. Yesterday. He's waiting for you, Emma."

She nods, thanks him, and tells him to have a great time in Spain. As soon as she's on the street, Emma takes out her phone and dials Killian's number.

"Hey, Swan."

"Hey."

"What do I owe the pleasure?"

"Can you stop by the school tomorrow? Maybe around five? I wanted to talk to you."

"As you wish, lass."

"Alright. See you tomorrow."

"See you then, Swan."

"Bye."

.

Emma throws her pen down on her desk and sighs contently. She's finally done grading her students' homework assignments and all she wants to do now is sleep. She rubs her temples and groans, realizing that it's only Wednesday. She could've sworn it was Friday.

"Long day?" Emma quickly turns her head to the doorway, where Killian is leaning with a smirk on his face. Her breath hitches in her throat once she has a sight of him; his navy blue shirt and a black leather jacket makes her heart race, not to mention his dark hair looks perfectly tousled and makes her want to run her fingers through it. She gets out of her seat to walk over to him, but by the time she's standing he's already halfway to her desk. "You wanted to speak to me, love?"

"Yea. I wanted to thank you. For helping me grade all those papers."

"Ah, well, I couldn't let you read some of those awful papers alone." Killian takes a step closer, invading her personal space, not that she minds. (Not at all.) "Perhaps some gratitude is in order," he says playfully, his finger tapping his lips, and Emma gets the hint.

"That's what the 'thank you' was for," she replies, and she can't help but smile. "Besides, you couldn't handle it."

He takes a step closer, but she doesn't back away. "Perhaps you're the one who couldn't handle it," he says lowly, his smirk breaking into a devious grin.

Emma flicks her gaze from Killian's eyes to his lips, then grabs the lapels of his jacket and pulls him close to her, his lips crashing against hers. She feels his body tensing, but she keeps her lips pressed firmly against his, running her fingers through his hair until he slowly begins to relax into the kiss. Emma grips onto his jacket as if she's holding on for her dear life as he tangles his fingers in her hair and he pulls her hip into his. Killian slowly backs her up until she's practically sitting on her desk and tilts his head to deepen their kiss, and she lets out a moan as he tightly presses himself against her. Her fingers play with the hem of this shirt, slipping underneath and grazing his warm skin, eliciting a growl from the back of the throat.

"Hey, are you ready to go-" she hears Regina's voice suddenly enter the room, causing both Killian and Emma to jump away from each other. She attempts to straighten out her blouse and fix her hair while he tries to look casual and leans against her desk.

(Clearly, neither of them fools Regina.)

"I don't mean to interrupt, but I'm going to leave. You can find your way home, right, Emma?"

"Yea, go ahead. No need to wait up for me."

Regina nods with a smirk on her face and leaves the room, leaving the slightly embarrassed couple by themselves.

"You work with Regina?" Killian asks as he turns back to Emma, breaking the silence.

"Yea. How do you know Regina?"

"She's Robin's lass. We've all known each other since college. They've been together since sophomore year."

"Now it's all making sense," Emma chuckles as she begins to gather all her belongs from her desk.

"What do you mean?"

"She asked me about you before I even told her, and I assumed Ruby had told her, but now I'm guessing it was your buddy Robin."

"Well, Robin does have a tendency to talk. A lot."

Emma laughs and grabs her coat and bag from her chair. "I was, um, wondering if you could give me a ride home. I carpooled with Regina this morning and I'm pretty sure she's long gone now and-"

"It's my pleasure," Killian interrupts her and presses a light kiss against her lips, making her smile. She locks up her classroom and before they get outside, he helps her into her coat. (Because after all, he is a gentleman.) Killian holds out his arm and Emma takes it, and the two of them walk out of the school together.

.

Emma walks over to her bed and jumps on it, rolling onto her back and staring blankly at the ceiling. The memories rush through her head and a huge grin breaks out on her face. But it suddenly fades, her mind filling with falshbacks of the last time she felt this way and what Walsh did to her. She starts to panic, her body shaking and her breaths beginning to become short and rapid. Get a grip, Emma. Stop it.

Before it can get any worse, she hears a knock on the door, thankful to find Mary Margaret, despite the fact that the woman will be flying off to Spain the next day, standing in front of her when she opens it. (The woman has something like a sixth sense when it comes to being there when Emma needs her.) Emma recounts everything to her friend, and she feels the panic coming back. Her friend calms her down, explaining that what happened was good and she has nothing to worry about, reminding the stubborn blonde that Killian is definitely not the man Walsh is. After a fair amount of comforting, Mary Margaret leaves her, leaving Emma alone in her uncomfortably empty apartment. (She never really noticed it before, but with all the company she's had in the past few weeks, the quietness bothers her.)

Emma quickly changes and slides into bed, letting the sleep take over her and the kiss plant itself permanently into her thoughts.

Hello lovely people! I'm so so so very sorry I haven't updated in a long time. I've been going through quite a bit of personal stuff recently, so the last month or so has been pretty hectic for me. To make it up to you guys, I'll post another chapter tomorrow. Anyway, thank you so much for all the follows, favorites, and reviews! Getting those email notifications always puts a smile on my face. I hope you guys like this chapter!