This is a song fic set to the song The Search is Over by Survivor. It is highly suggested you go to you tube and listen to this song before reading this fic. Also watch the dates in the story to understand the progression.

The first section takes place after the season three episode called True Night.

Living for a Dream

Morgan and Garcia

Part One

December 2007

It was the best Saturday night of his life. He wasn't out at some club, dressed to the nines, shaking his behind on a dance floor with a bevy of beautiful women surrounding him. And he wasn't experiencing the rush of taking down an unsub.

Derek Morgan was kicking back at his baby girl's apartment.

Finally she was getting her energy back and he could breathe a little easier over her health. They decided to have themselves a two person celebration tonight. They were making homemade pizzas and for dessert banana splits. Neither were in his usual healthy diet but he would have agreed to anything she wanted that evening.

He loved seeing her looking healthy again. Smiling, laughing, with light in her eyes. Often these days he would watch her from across a room but now he wasn't watching her the same way that he used to- either with pure lust in his gaze, like a hunter stalking prey, or an amused look that asked "What is Garcia up to now?"

Instead he watched her with the eyes of a man in love- truly appreciating how precious she was. He thought he knew it before she was shot. But he had no clue. He had kept a wall up between them, kept a safe emotional distance, kept himself just close enough to make her interested in him (for he didn't ever wanna lose her interest) but far enough away so nothing was truly expected of him.

It shamed him to think how badly he had let her down over all these years. She deserved better- the very best.

Now that she was recovered almost fully from her injuries he had the time to give her that and he had all the motivation that he needed. He had gotten way too close to never sharing this moment or anymore other ones with Penelope Garcia.

He had the chance to make more memories with her now. To share more moments with this woman who amazed him with her strength, courage, fire, intensity, tenderness and sexiness. God had given Derek Morgan more time with his baby girl and he wouldn't squander it.

Dancing around her kitchen, as he made his pizza while music blasted through the air, he couldn't stop smiling. She was laughing at him and that only made him ham it up more.

Until she said "I bet this is a boring Saturday for you. You're a good sport, Morgan, for spending it in like this. I'm sure you can't wait to get back to your normal routine."

His smile slid away.

She wasn't like other chicks. With any other chick he would suspect she was baiting him to say he preferred her company over anyone else's but that wasn't Garcia's style. She truly meant what she just said.

She didn't believe that he would rather be with her than anywhere else. She didn't know that when he said he loved her he meant in from the bottom of his heart. That every day he grew more taken with her.

That he was changing. Growing up. Falling for her in a different way than his lusty crush of the past. She didn't know how it hurt him when she doubted his motivations and feelings.

But Penelope hadn't said those words to hurt him.

Derek knew that. Still it did cut like knife. Because he knew he couldn't call her his woman for real if she didn't believe that he would rather be with her than anywhere else in the world.

He said "I'm right where I wanna be, mama. Now hush that motor mouth and get this food in the oven. This full grown man needs some dinner before he has to go to extreme measures." He gave her a flirty look.

She flirted back "I'm sure I could suggest a tasty appetizer while you wait for the main course."

He chuckled while he watched her take the pizzas and place them in the oven. When she turned back around he was smiling again but his worries persisted. He needed to do more than he was doing in order to prove himself to her.

Derek simply was not getting his message across. She couldn't see his love in his eyes, in his smile. She didn't hear it in his voice, believe it in his words. She couldn't feel his love in her heart and soul.

There had to be a way to let her know that he didn't want to go back to the bar scene. He wasn't bored here with her. Cruising bars for a flavor of the night was boring, vapid, old and tired. Spending all his free time with her was exciting, fresh, new. This was where he wanted to be. Needed to be.

If only Penelope would believe in that...believe in him.

(How can I convince you

that what you see is real?

-x-x

Who am I to blame you

for doubting what I feel?

-x-x-

I was always reaching.

You were just a girl I knew.

I took for granted the friend I have in you.)

A couple of weeks later it was New Year's Eve. He felt it was his perfect chance to show her his feelings. This way he could always say it was just a midnight kiss if she didn't want more.

He had to protect their friendship, their future. He couldn't push her into a place she didn't want to go with him. Because maybe if she wasn't ready today, if she didn't love him that much yet or believe in him, maybe she would tommorow or the next day. He didn't want to lose her from his life, no matter what.

If it was no big deal to Derek he could have kissed Penelope any old time. But it was the biggest deal of his life. And so he planned it carefully.

They took a cab to a bar and met up with their friends. Everyone was loud and rambunctious that evening. Derek had to fight the crowds all night and do his best to keep Penelope either by his side or within his sight. He still was shaken from her shooting. Her leaving their table to go to the bathroom with Prentiss was enough to put him on edge till she came back and he saw, yes, his baby girl was okay still. Nothing had happened because he wasn't near her to protect her.

In time he hoped those feelings of worry lessened but so far they were as strong as ever. Derek knew too much about the world to not think the worse when he lost sight of the woman he was crazy about.

When it was almost midnight he pulled her away from their friends. He slipped her coat on her and took her hand, pulling her outside into an unseasonably warm, for that time of year, night.

"Morgan, do you wanna leave already? We missed the countdown! Are you feeling okay, baby?"

"Shhhh, we didn't miss it yet." He showed her his watch. "We still have a minute."

"And we're out here, why again?"

"Do you know what shhhhh even means, motor mouth?"

"No," she said, in a cute voice as she crinkled her nose at him. "I know what overprotective means though. Are you trying to stop Garci from getting her freak on with a stranger at midnight?"

"Something like that." Derek looked at his watch again. "Here we go: ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one." He looked into her eyes. "Happy New Year, baby girl. Welcome to 2008."

She gave him a very soft look, as tears pricked her eyes. So often she fought showing too much emotion over her shooting but Derek knew that deep inside it had hurt her soul deeply.

She whispered "We made it."

"That we did." He was looking at her in the most tender way. Gently he cupped her face.

She stilled and her breath hitched.

He leaned down and gently pressed his lips to hers, only lingering a moment, before pulling back and staring into her eyes. "You believe me when I tell you that I love you, right?"

More tears flooded her flush face and she nodded, before hugging him tightly. And Derek believed, foolishly, she truly meant that the way he wanted her to. He believed they were headed somewhere amazing together.

Right where they both wanted to be. Right in the place that made him feel whole, safe, loved and finally excited about his future for more reasons that just his job opportunities. Excited about a future they could share together.

(I was living for a dream,

loving for a moment.

Taking on the world,

that was just my style.

-x-x

Now I look into your eyes.

I can see forever.

The search is over.

You were with me all the while.)

But soon she broke away from him, wiped her face, suggested they get a cab and they headed back to her place, where she went right to bed, leaving Derek on the couch. As he lay there awake for hours it was clear to him that she didn't know what their kiss had meant to him.

He wasn't about to just give up though.

The next morning he pulled her close the second she came out of the bedroom. Her bed hair was a mess and her dark eyes were sleepy and smudged with make up she hadn't taken off the night before. In other words she looked sexy as hell.

He was determined in that moment. Determined to kiss the doubts right out of her and show her all his feelings. The things he couldn't put into mere words.

"Morgan, what the hell?" she muttered, as he wrapped her in his arms, before she looked up and into his eyes and gasped. "What has gotten into you?"

He let her go and stepped back. "Nothing. Uh...I just didn't give you the best New Year's kiss last night. Not my best work. Thought I could remedy that right here and now."

She gave him a confused look. "Well I certainly wouldn't complain if you want to ravish me but can I brush my teeth first?" She headed for the bathroom, shaking her head at his odd behavior.

Derek sat on the couch, hanging his head. He was getting nowhere fast with romancing her. Doing sweet things only made her see him more as a friend. And trying to be romantic practically had her bolting for the first exit.

Maybe she just needed more time. It had only been a month. Surely time was all it would take to get them where he wanted them to go.