A/N

Long one this time, hope you all enjoy it. My other story, the Archangel Kitten, may or may not be wrapping up, so that might affect how often I post this one. I do have a few chapters of buffer between writing and publishing, in case I hit a block.

The next one is also longer.

Entry 21

D&S made it to town, so I teleported over to talk to them. Since I didn't bring a suit and have no practice impersonating FBI or whatever stupidness, they sent me to go talk to Anna's parents (I didn't mention that I'd already been), while they went to the Connor Beverly Behavioral Medicine Center, where Anna escaped from.

I had already talked to Anna's parents, so I was a little slow about getting there. If I'd been just a little faster maybe I could have saved them.

When I got there, I had a creepy feeling about the whole thing. I sneaked around the back. There were two demons already in the house.

"They're mine," I said, quickly. "Get out or I'll send you back."

One of them fled. The other decided to argue.

"Getting feisty, are we? I hear you're a half-breed."

"Oh, I'm only half demon alright. The other half is worse."

It grinned sickeningly and slit the Miltons' throats in one smooth motion, then fled the scene.

"NO!" I screamed. I was too late. If only I had gotten here first. If I'd known, I could have had them lay down salt. I was so freaked out that I forgot what the demons looked like, so there was no way I could track them and nothing I could do. I sat on the floor and waited for the Winchesters to get here and cried.

When I heard the Impala drive up, I opened the front door from the inside and came out. Sam noticed first that something was wrong.

"Keigh! Are you okay? What happened?" he asked. I shook my head numbly. I didn't want to talk. They'd see for themselves.

Dean wasn't paying attention. "Hey, sweetheart, you learn anything?"

I clenched my fist and disappeared into the house. Dean and Sam went in and saw the Miltons lying in their own blood.

Dean took pictures and looked for clues and rambled on about how important Anna must be. Sam tried to talk to me.

"Keigh, believe me, I know how hard this is. Hunting is never easy. Especially when you lose people. But you have to come out. If you want to be a Hunter, you can't run away. You have to work through things."

I materialized. "Fine," I said. "You want me to be a Hunter; you want to talk; talk. I don't promise to talk back."

"Of course she doesn't want to talk," said Dean. "She's a demon bitch. This is what they do."

"Dean, let's not jump to conclusions," said Sam. "Did you talk to the Miltons, Keigh?"

I couldn't answer, so I shrugged. Somehow Sam got us all in the Impala. Dean drove. We talked.

"This wasn't the first time I went to see them. I went when you guys got the case, because it was going to take you three days to drive here."

"Okay," said Sam. "Did you get anything?"

"I don't remember. It was a long time ago," I said.

"So, did you get here and find them dead already?" asked Sam.

"No," I yelled. "I got here and there were demons and one of them killed them both in front of me! So stop asking!"

I vanished again. This time I didn't pay attention to what they were saying. Instead, I went home.

When Crowley saw me crying and freaking out, he pulled me into a hug. I just cried for about ten minutes. Finally, he asked me what happened.

"Keigh, you look awful. What's going on?"

I hid under my hair. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Honey, you need to talk about it. Whatever this is, it's destroying you. Please, tell me what's wrong."

"I watched people die."

"Okay?..."

"That stupid case, Dad, like I was asking you about. I went on a case with Sam and Dean and now those people are dead and it's all my fault."

"Sam and Dean are not dead," said Crowley.

"No, Dad, it's not them. That girl, Anna, she's a freak like me but she didn't know it, and her parents died, and I [huge sob] couldn't stop it."

Crowley patted me awkwardly on the back. "Keigh, it's not your fault."

I didn't want to talk about it. Somehow the whole story just fell out of me. It felt better knowing Dad knew, but I would have rather just tried to forget about it.

"Keigh, you made the right decision to tell me. This was just going to eat you up inside."

"I can't go back. They'll hate me. Dean thought I killed them. I didn't. It wasn't my fault."

"That's right. It wasn't your fault. You did the best you could to save them. It's the demons that killed them that are at fault, Keigh. If Sam and Dean blame you, it's because they're stupid."

Hearing Crowley say Dean and Sam were stupid made me laugh. It's not like I had never seen death before. I just was never there to try to stop it. I was really nervous about going back to talk to the Winchesters again, though. I knew I tended to keep vanishing, but what could I do? I wasn't going to sit my butt in their stupid car for three whole days, and I didn't think they would want to be teleported around with me.

"I think you should go back. If they pick on you, just call me, and I'll teach them a lesson about whose daughter not to bully."

"No, I'm okay. I'll go. You don't have to get in some stupid fight with Sam and Dean, Dad. I'm a grownup."

Crowley cleared his throat. "You're six."

"So? You wanna discuss how old you really are, Dad? Huh? Or is how old you look good enough for you?"

"Fair enough," said Crowley. "Good luck, Keigh. Please call me if you need anything."

I nodded and teleported into the Winchesters' car.

"Hi," I said to get their attention.

"Keigh," said Sam, surprised. "You shouldn't have left like that. I called and called you, but you weren't answering. We didn't know what happened to you."

"I know. I wasn't listening. I went home to talk to my dad," I explained.

"We drove around, waiting for you to come back," said Dean. "We know where we're going next. Sam and I saw this church, and he recognized the window from one of Anna's drawings. Sam made some calls- it's her father's church. We think that's where she might be."

"It makes sense," said Sam. "We just didn't want to keep going without you. In case you were coming back. Keigh, it's been like two hours."

"I'm sorry," I said. "I know I disappear a lot. I should have told you where I was going. So- let's see this church, huh?"

When we got to the church, we saw someone moving. Like the macho idiots they are, Dean and Sam got out their guns. To find a lost girl. Seriously, bros, that is a whole new level of OVERKILL. I looked at them like they had three heads, but they ignored me.

I guess, between us, we did have three heads. Okay, off topic, sorry. (But like I said, you shouldn't be reading this anyway. It's my personal journal.)

When Sam and Dean saw that it was just Anna, they did put away their weapons. I hid behind Dean and tried not to look scary.

"Anna? We're not going to hurt you. We're here to help," said Sam. "My name is Sam, this is my brother, Dean, and our friend Keigh."

"Sam?" asked Anna, starting to come out of hiding. "Not Sam Winchester?"

"Uh- yeah," said Sam.

Anna stood in front of us. "And you're Dean? The Dean?"

You should have seen the look on Dean's face. I was a little jealous. He stared at Anna like she'd just told him he was the cutest guy in the world.

"Well, yeah. The Dean, I guess," said Dean, holding back a goofy grin. And staring at Anna. Aah! Not fair. I guess I never called him "The Dean," though.

"It's really you," said Anna. "But who's your friend? Something's wrong with her face."

I resisted the temptation to chuck her out the church window she loved so much. If Dean wanted to like her and not me, good for him. She looked like an airhead or a player to me, anyway. If the first, he'll get bored of her drama, and if the latter, she'll probably dump him and then maybe I'll have a chance.

"It's complicated," said Sam. "She's a friend. Don't worry."

Anna focused on Dean. "The angels talk about you, you know," she told him. "You were in Hell, but Castiel pulled you out, and some of them think you can help save us."

Queen of the run-on. No, I understand, I really do. Dean likes you and not me and you can't even end a sentence.

Anna turned to Sam. "And- some of them don't like you at all." Sam made a face. Then she turned to me. "But you I've never heard of. I don't know anything about you. Sam, Dean, you shouldn't trust her. I think she's a demon."

"Well, thanks, for the vote of confidence," I said. "I'm glad to see that puppy dog here likes you. But I prefer to consider myself a friend of Bobby Singer's."

"Like I said, she's a friend," said Sam, possibly a little more ready to defend me since Anna dissed him too.

"Sam and Dean Winchester. They talk about you all the time lately. I feel like I know you."

"So, you talk to angels?" asked Dean, seeming more focused on the mission and less enamored of Anna. Maybe. It was too early to say, anyway.

"Oh, no, no way," said Anna. "They probably don't even know I exist. I just overhear them."

"You overhear them?" asked Sam.

"Yeah, sometimes they talk, and- I just- hear them. In my head."

Anna looked stressed. She looked like the perfect cute little damsel in distress for Dean to save. OK, no, I should give Dean a chance. Maybe he won't fall for her.

Dean was still on the case.

"Like, right now?" he asked.

Anna shook her head. "Not right this second. But a lot. And I can't shut them out. There are so many of them."

Dean looked her in the eyes. "So, they lock you up with a case of the crazies, when really you were just- tuning into angel radio?" He smiled reassuringly. Why does he have to be so cute when he's looking at Anna but have no interest in me? Damn. Maybe I should be wearing skinny jeans and a cute top and talking in a high-pitched, fluffy angel voice.

"Yes," said Anna. "Thank you."

If Sam hadn't said something and broken their locked gaze, I don't know what I would've done. But he did.

"Anna, when did the voices start? Do you remember?" he asked.

"I can tell you exactly," said Anna firmly. "September 18th."

Dean looked shocked and turned to Sam and me. "Day I got out o' hell," he whispered to Sam.

"First words I heard, clear as a bell," said Anna. "'Dean Winchester is saved.'"

"Yeah, cut the fluff," I said. "I'm sure you think that's real romantic. But I'm getting tired of all this fluffy bonding stuff. You don't want to date Dean. He's footloose. He can't keep a girl."

Dean looked shattered. He cleared his throat and looked at Anna. "Don't listen to her. She's just jealous 'cause she can't date me, 'cause we're cousins." He grinned. You know how Dean always thinks that if he looks cute, people will buy what he's saying? Like that.

Anna stared at us with wide eyes. "No. She's not your cousin," she said, shaking her head vigorously. "Dean, you need to be careful. Something's not right with her."

Dean turned to Sam. "You think she's legit?"

Sam shrugged. "This is above my paygrade, man."

"Well, at least we know why the demons want you so bad," said Dean, grinning cheerfully at Anna. She smiled back. "They get ahold of you, and they can hear everything the other side's cooking. You're 1-900-Angel."

Anna grinned and Dean blushed and smiled. I hate them.

"Hey, do you know, are my parents okay?" asked Anna. "I didn't go home. I was afraid."

Ruby busted in and Anna screamed.

"You got the girl? Good. Let's go," said Ruby.

I hid behind a statue. Or whatever they call them in churches. Ruby was going so fast she didn't see me.

"Oh! Her face!" said Anna, looking horrified.

"It's okay, she's here to help," said Sam.

"Don't be so sure," Dean cautioned.

"We have to hurry," argued Ruby. "A demon's coming. A big-timer. We can fight later, Dean."

"That's convenient," said Dean. "Showing up right when we find the girl, with some bigwig on your tail?"

"I didn't bring him. You did," said Ruby.

Anna was freaking out. Dean and Ruby looked like they were going to be arguing for about five hours. I did the sensible thing and fled the scene. This time, I just went to the Impala. I kept listening.

"What was that?" Ruby was saying. Caught.

"It was just the wind," said Dean, trying to cover for me.

I heard gasping, and then Ruby saying, "It's too late. He's here."

I knew Dean and Sam wouldn't want me to call Dad, and anyway, who knew what side he would be on? So I sneaked around outside, trying to figure out what was going on.

I ran right into the blue-eyed angel I'd seen before. This time, he had a buddy with him. A tall, muscular, glowering buddy who was even scarier. Before I knew it, I had a knife at my throat.

"Easy, Uriel," said the blue-eyed angel.

Uriel sputtered. "But it's a filthy demon hybrid," he complained. "We should kill it, Castiel."

So he was Castiel. The same one who pulled Dean out of Hell.

"I'm sorry," I said, holding my hands up where they could see them. "I promise I'm not existing on purpose. I'm not going to fight you."

I heard Sam screaming and turned my head.

"Kill me if you have to," I said desperately. "Please go save Sam."

Next thing I know, Sam and Dean come flying out the window of the church.

"Go," said Castiel. "We're not going to kill you." I ran after Sam and Dean.

We went back to their motel room, where I'm writing this. Dean and Sam are busy fixing up their own injuries, since they refused my help. I guess they're still a little creeped out by me. Dean is still really bothered about Sam's abilities from the demon blood, so I guess I'm just surprised he's willing to trust me at all. Sam explained that Ruby has Anna, so we're just waiting for her to contact us.