Chapter 2: Her Ice in my Eyes

Before Sokka's mind could process anything that just happened, he suddenly became aware of himself sitting Indian style on a mat in the chief's tent. All of his friends and family were gathered around in the circle. Some of whom hadn't seen each other in at least a year. Gran Gran had even managed to make her way. She was excitedly talking to Katara across the room. Sokka couldn't make out what they were talking about. He gripped his knees with his hands. The mild conversation in the room was just in preparation for the main event; Sokka could tell that everyone was anxiously waiting for him to speak up. Under normal conditions, there would have been little problem. His heart was beating so hard that he swore that it would leap from his throat if he tried to talk. A hand touched his forearm and Sokka looked to his side and found Suki giving him a nod.

He drooped his head for a moment before springing up to his feet. With little effort, all eyes were already on him and all conversation came to an abrupt end. Standing there with a wide stance and his hands on his hips, he said, "Most people here seem to have concerns about me. Let's make something clear: I'm fine, mostly. Physically, I'm not sick. That isn't to say I haven't been struggling with something, though. And that something is definitely physical." Sokka could feel the eyes of his father on him, but he kept speaking, finding it easier to keep his eyes closed so he didn't see the reactions on people's faces. "I'm not what you would call eloquent or even tactful, so let's stop dancing around the issue: I'm concerned about my body as a man." Finally, Sokka opened his eyes and found most people confused than shocked. Rubbing his brow, he said, "My body has been developing as a woman and not a man. I don't know why. Even more troubling: my body has gotten small, my voice has gotten high, and I don't expect to be a man at all anymore in the near future—at least not physically."

There was less shock and more of a subtle confirmation of thoughts on the faces of his closest loved ones, but Hakoda remained mystified. He stood up. "This a joke? I love jokes. I do. But this…"

At that, dead seriousness snaked across Sokka's face like a snake in a grassy field. "I wouldn't joke about this. On my honor as a man, this is the truth."

Silence. It billowed in from Sokka's declaration and settled at the feet of his father. Hakoda finally asked, "What would cause such a thing? I've never even heard of anything like it happening before."

Aang held up a finger. "Nice segue to me!" Aang airbended himself to his feet and smiled. "I may not know why yet, but I'm sure I can find out. Mystical stuff like this is more often than not rooted in the Spirit World. I can travel there and figure out what may have attached itself to Sokka."

"So there may be a way to reverse the curse?" Suki asked.

"Curse is a strong word, but maybe," Aang said.

Sokka crossed his arms and asked, "How couldn't this be a curse?"

"Being a woman is a curse?" Katara asked, cocking her eyebrow.

Sighing, Sokka shook his head. "Not if you were born that way. If you were born a guy, yep. Sounds pretty cursetastic to me."

Hakoda waved his hand at his son. "Then why are we wasting time talking about this? Shouldn't we get to it?"

"Aang and Katara just got here. I'm probably the most anxious to get to my true, masculine, muscular self, but they probably need to eat and rest first." Sokka said.

At the mention of Southern Water Tribe cuisine, Aang turned a bit green and said, "Don't worry about me. I don't want to be a burden. As a monk, I'm plenty happy with trail rations."

Katara eyed her boyfriend suspiciously and Hakoda slapped him hard on the back. "Nonsense! It would be rude for us not to bring out our finest food for the Avatar." He gestured to a guard who immediately saluted and left to go fetch the cooks.

Aang ducked away from the chief, coughing a bit from the slap. He felt a tap on his shoulder. Turning, he found Suki looking expectantly at him. "So you'll fix him, right? He'll go back to being the old Sokka?"

Putting up his hands, probably attempting to hold back her enthusiasm, Aang said, "I never said that I could fix him. I only afforded to find the cause. The cause may lead to a cure, but it may not."

Suki's face fell at the answer. "You mean… He could be stuck this way? What happens if you can't cure him?"

Aang frowned. "Many scenarios exist. He could get cured, he could get only partially better, he could just remain how he is right now for the rest of his life, or…he could end up continuing to progress. I feel that his fear of becoming a full-fledged woman is just." He puts his hand on Suki's shoulder and smiled. "At the very least, he has a good woman at his side, no matter what."

She avoided his eyes. "Oh, yeah… Of course."

The dinner was delicious. His father had told the truth: he had brought out the best that the Southern Water Tribe could offer; however, throughout the meal Sokka found himself picking at the food more than eating it. Suki was doing the same, but she still ate it. Aang appeared to be pretending to eat now and then.

Sokka looked at Suki and said, "You know that I still cherish you, right?"

Suki looked surprised and nodded. "Of course. I still feel the same."

He looked away at nothing in particular. "It's just… With all that's happened, I was beginning to worry that I hadn't said it enough. I didn't want you to think that…you know…"

"I never once thought that you didn't love me," Suki said, putting down her bowl of frost artichokes. "I moved here and stayed here for you."

"Is it true? Is the reason you've been training yourself so hard to protect me?"

Suki turned Sokka's head gently to look in his eyes. "What warrior doesn't train their hardest to protect their loved ones? You've been going through a rough time, so I was worried, yeah. I was worried that if something happened, you wouldn't be able to bring your full potential to a fight. You've been lax with your training and your physical upkeep. I was worried."

Sokka closed his eyes. "I'm sorry."

Suki touched her forehead to his.

After the dinner, Aang stood up and put his arms out to direct attention to him. "I will begin my journey now. Unfortunately, it will be long and boring. It isn't going to be entertaining, so I encourage everyone who doesn't require a presence here to go back to your business."

Sokka's guard friends stood up and left the room. Gran Gran excused herself, giving Sokka a kiss on the cheek as she left. She patted his shoulder. "You do make for a beautiful girl."

For some reason, relief spread out from Sokka's chest like cool water leaking from inside his body. His brow lowered in confusion. Sokka was seated in the center of the tent in front of Aang. Katara and Suki were seated next to each other to the side. Aang just gave a big smile just before snapping into his Avatar State. Blue light erupted from his arrow tattoos and eyes and his face became uncharacteristically severe. The light swallowed up Sokka and the room. Without warning, another Aang stepped out from his physical body. His spirit walked over to Sokka and then blinked in surprise.

"Sokka… Can…you see me?"

There was a pull and suddenly he became aware that he was looking at Aang looking down at his own body. "Yes…?"

Aang jumped back in surprise. "Whoa! How are you doing that?"

Sokka just stood there, clearly dumbfounded. "Your guess is as good as mine."

The Avatar walked closer and squinted up at him. "Sokka, why are your eyes so…blue?"

"Aren't they always blue?" Sokka asked with a shrug.

Aang looked from Sokka and then looked to the fur pelt leading outside. He snapped his fingers and his eyes brightened. "Let's go outside."

Before Sokka could ask why, Aang grabbed his hand and ran outside. Outside, it was night—which Sokka hadn't realized—and a full moon was casting a reflection in a fountain just outside the tent.

"Okay, here we are," Sokka said. He looked at Aang to find the Avatar gaping. "What? That's kinda creepy."

Pointing at the fountain, Aang said, "Look at your reflection. You're different under the moonlight."

Sokka's patience was waning, but he decided to humor his old friend and walked up to the fountain. When he looked down, he saw the face of a beautiful woman with icy blue eyes and long, white hair. She reminding him of Yue, but different. She was Yue if Yue was…her. The lines finally connected inside Sokka's head and he screamed, "I'm Yue?!"

Aang shook his head. "No, you're you, but there's a part of Yue inside your spirit." Sokka gave him a skeptical look, but the Avatar cleared his throat. "Yue and you shared a special bond. It was so powerful that it brought you to close together, even after only knowing each other for a short time. This bond has persisted." He pointed up to the moon. "Yue became a powerful spirit and that bond has allowed some of her power inside of you. Changing you, even your body."

"So Yue is changing me into a girl?" Sokka asked, still not convinced.

"Not intentionally, I'm sure, but so long as that bond remains inside of you, you're connected to each other and her influence is much more powerful than yours."

Sokka looked up at the moon; a dull pain ached inside of him. "So you're telling me that I need to completely let go of Yue to return to being a man."

"Unfortunately, no. If only it were that simple."

Sokka turned to him and asked, "So what do I do? How do I change back?"

Aang looked at the fountain for a moment, sighed, and then turned back to his friend. "Like I told Suki: finding the source could point the way to a cure, but in this case…"

"In this case what?"

"In this case, we're dealing with one of the most powerful spirits the world knows. If this was a case of a simple, smaller spirit causing some trouble, sure. But there's no way Yue would ever want to cause you pain. She's a young spirit who doesn't fully know the extent of her power yet. It can be dangerous to be in that kind of position. You're simply collateral damage. If she knew how to fix you, I think she would have already done it."

Taking a step back, Sokka closed his eyes and took a few breaths. "In other words: I'm stuck."

Aang frowns and avoids his eyes. "Sorry, Sokka… I wish I could do more."

Sokka crossed his arms and finally gave a nod. "Yeah, I know you would." He turned to look up at the moon one more time. "I don't think that our bond can be broken."

Walking over, Aang gestures back to the tent. "Let's head back. You're going to be exhausted."

"Why? It's only been a few minutes."

Aang laughed. "It's hard to travel to the Spirit World. Your connection to Yue has made you something unique. You have a foot in the Spirit World, almost like me."

"Does that mean that I can go back whenever I want?"

Aang gave a shrug and then looked to consider it. "Maybe, but I think it's more likely that you hitched a ride with me."

Sokka thought for a second and then said, "I suppose it's better that way. I wouldn't want to be bothered with that kind of responsibility."

Nodding, Aang said, "It can be a burden." He smiled. "But also an honor."

It was quick. Like snapping awake from a dream where you suddenly started to fall. Sokka became aware that he was back in the tent in the physical world just before he fell over onto his face. The thud of his collision snapped Katara and Suki out of their drowsy daze.

Suki stood up and ran over to Sokka's side. Kneeling down on one knee, she helped him back to a sitting position. "Are you okay? What happened?"

Standing up, Aang said, "We found out a few important things: one, Sokka has a connection with Yue still; two, that bond allows travel to and from the Spirit World. This bond is powerful and allows the transfer of energy between the two. The moon is a great spirit and Yue is new at the job. I believe her young mind with that much power has resulted in the changes in Sokka's body."

"So can you sever this bond?" Suki asked.

"No," Sokka said, "I'm stuck like this."

"That can't be," Suki said, gripping Sokka's shoulder.

"If there is a way to change him back, it would involve Yue, but I believe that if she could change him back, she would have already." Aang said.

Suki stood up once she was sure that Sokka could handle himself again. She walked up to the Avatar and said, "That's quite an assumption. Yue could be doing this on purpose. Maybe she's jealous. Maybe she wants Sokka for herself."

"Yue isn't like that," Sokka said, shakily standing back up.

"It's a bit convenient, isn't it?" Suki asked.

"Suki," Sokka said under his breath.

"In three months, I was going to be accepted as a member of the Southern Water Tribe and finally be able to marry Sokka."

"Suki," he said through his teeth.

"Then this happens. Am I really expected to believe that it's just a coincidence?"

"Yue isn't like that, Suki. She's one of the nicest people I've ever met. Way too gentle to hold any kind of jealousy or malice." Aang said. He turned to Sokka. "You should remember who's talking. You were going to marry this woman. It is a bit strange that you suddenly get angry when she's just scared."

Sokka's eyes widen with realization and then he looks at Suki's back. He couldn't see her face, but he made out the subtle tremors in her body. She was trembling. He walked over and took Suki's hand. "I'm sorry… I…"

"You still love her," Suki said.

"Well… That's true, but I don't think I won't stop loving her, just like I will never stop loving you—no matter what happens." He gave the woman's hand a tight squeeze.

Suki pulled her hand away. "I already told you: I'm no lesbian."

Stepping forward, Katara asked, "Suki, maybe we should go outside and have a talk?"

The warrior shook her head. "No."

Katara kept approaching. "Come on. Let's not say something we'll all regret, right?"

Suki pointed at Sokka while glaring at Katara. "My betrothed is a woman! Say something I'll regret? Seriously? He's also in love with another woman. What else is there to say?"

"A woman that's no longer in the picture and never will be again," Katara said.

Shaking her head, Suki stood there for a moment. She put her head in her hands. "Why is this happening?" Lifting her head back up, she said, "For a woman no longer in the picture, she sure is changing a lot about Sokka's life."

"Exactly," Aang said, his voice snapping through the hostility in the room. "You're shocked and you have every right to be, but here's the thing: if you're angry and scared about the things that Sokka is going through, how do you think Sokka feels right now? He's looking for support from the one person he should be able to expect it from. The person he expected to become his wife, the other half of his spirit."

"And I was supportive and patient. It's been months since we had a conversation before all of this happened. He never told me anything." Tears were streaming down Suki's face, but her face remained determined.

"I should have told you sooner," Sokka said, "I get that. I'm sorry, but… I'm just trying to process all of this and I'm not doing a very good job."

Raising her hands to the three others, Katara said, "Look, it's been a stressful night and a lot has happened. Nothing more will come from this discussion except for more hurt feelings. Let's all get some rest and maybe we can talk about this again tomorrow when everyone has calmed down."

Suki sighed and wiped the tears from her cheeks with her forearm. "Okay, fine. Sokka looks too upset to speak properly right now, anyway. I'm…tired of always being the strong one. I was expecting more of a partnership…" With that, she walked out of the tent.

Walking over to her brother, Katara hugged him. "I'm sorry, Sokka."

Sokka didn't say anything, but he did feel strangely content in his sister's arms. It reminded him of a far off memory of his mother. His eyes suddenly felt heavy. Not his manliest moment: falling asleep in his sister's arms while remembering his mother. He had to find a cure to this condition. He couldn't be a woman for the rest of his life. He hated this. He didn't want to lose Suki.