Chapter 2
The next morning, Chuck was assigned Uhura. When he arrived on the Bridge, they burst into spontaneous applause.
Chuck grinned, slightly embarrassed. "I was glad to help. Does Tanzer think it worked?"
Young replied. "Too soon to tell, but he thinks it helped. They're going to do it again tonight, but none of us are eligible. They want new suckers. And they're changing the contents of the vat."
"Sounds like a show worth seeing."
Chuck joined Uhura at her station. She remained on the Bridge for the duration of their stop at Outpost 72. Then she turned over her station to a subordinate.
"I'm teaching a class for the next hour. Then I have to see half a dozen people in my department. I hope to get a lunch break before the 1300 briefing. The rest of the afternoon is flexible. I have some research I'm working on, and some papers to grade. I usually go to the believers' meeting at 1900. It'll be short because of tonight's show."
So Chuck spent the day with Uhura. She was quietly competent, unfailingly cheerful, and not apparently hampered by the lack of sight. He himself was getting so used to it, he hardly thought about it anymore. Over lunch, Uhura gave him her testimony.
"My story's not very exciting, not compared to the Captain's, or even Spock's. I understand you've heard their story, so all I'll say about that is that it's not what convinced me. You see, operating in the realm of the impossible is nothing new for us; we've been doing it for years. So yes, it was a miracle that we could talk to First's people, but for me anyway, it wasn't a life-changing demonstration of the power of God."
Chuck swallowed a bite of salad, wondering how much prodding she would tolerate. "What about Jim's and Spock's testimony of victory over hate?"
"Yes, it's a powerful testimony, but that's not what convinced me either. I don't know how much you've seen of their relationship, but it's not all that unusual for them to endure hell for each other. Nothing they did on First's ship was out of character. It wasn't until the mission was over that I began to realize what a permanent change had occurred.
"They each shared their experience with the entire crew. Talk about transparency! My goodness, you never saw such openness! At first, I thought they were crazy, that people just wouldn't understand - and they didn't. But it didn't seem to matter. They were happy all the time. The change was especially noticeable in Spock. I remember being profoundly shocked to hear Spock laugh." She played with her fork, remembering the incident.
Smiling warmly, she continued. "It was maybe a week after we'd left First's vessel. Dr. McCoy made an appearance on the Bridge and began needling Spock. It was the old logic vs. emotions argument. Spock just looked at him and started laughing. The Captain started laughing too, and within minutes, the whole Bridge was in hysterics. We didn't even know why we were laughing, but they did. The joy of the Lord is contagious.
"The first baptism, a few weeks later, really impacted me. I began to see how serious they were about this, and how radical a change had been made. There were twelve of them in the water that day. The pool was lined with spectators; it's not every day that the ship's Captain gets baptized. He challenged us to observe the difference in their behavior.
"They started holding meetings on the Rec Deck. Those first meetings were a combination of Bible study and prayer group. I went to most of them and just listened. It was fascinating. They read a passage of Scripture and talked about what it meant. If they disagreed, they would all go research it and talk about it again the next night. They met almost every night, and they drew quite a crowd. Not because of the arguments, but because of what they did next.
"Whatever they decided the passage meant, they would then draw applications to their own lives. That's really where the Captain's 'no secrets' policy got started. He didn't come out and say that's the way it's going to be from now on. He just modeled it so thoroughly - he and Spock both did - that everyone else copied them."
Chuck wiped a bit of sauce off his chin, hoping he didn't have to prompt her with another question. If it was the wrong one, it could be a distraction.
Uhura went on. "One thing that happened the second week really touched me. I don't remember the Scripture passage they started with, but where they went with it was how precious and valuable they were in God's sight. Then they jumped to the need to see good in those around them, and praise the good, rather than correct the bad.
"All of a sudden, the Captain got real quiet. They just waited for him. After a minute, he said the Lord had convicted him about something he needed to make right, and he excused himself, saying he'd be right back. He stood up, looked around the room til he saw me, and came over. Speaking quietly just to me, he looked me in the eye and said he needed to apologize to me. He wanted to do it in front of everybody, but he wouldn't if it would embarrass me.
"I didn't know what he was talking about, but I'm not easily embarrassed, so I said, 'go ahead.' He drew me into the circle, and the first thing he said was that I was one of the most competent people he knew. He spent several minutes telling everyone what a wonderful person I was. Meanwhile I'm standing there wracking my brain for what he could possibly need to apologize to me about.
"Then I had it. Two days previously, he had yelled at me on the Bridge. I hadn't thought much of it at the time, just that he must be having a bad day. I corrected the problem and forgot all about it. By the time he had finished telling everybody, he made it sound like he'd committed this great, terrible sin. I think, in retrospect, that he did see it as a serious sin, but I just thought it was a joke.
"He asked my forgiveness, and I said 'sure'. Then he wanted to know if he could make restitution. He had to explain the word to me, but then I asked if he was serious. He assured me he was. So I told him.
"'Captain,' and I pulled his chair into the middle of the circle, 'I want you to sit in this chair while everyone in this room, who feels so inclined, tells you exactly what they think of you. You listen to each one, but you're not allowed to respond. No protest, no defense, no explanation, not even a thank-you-for-your-input. You say absolutely nothing, but you don't get out of this chair until every last one has had their say. Then you have lunch with me tomorrow and tell me about it.'"
They waited a moment for the laughter at the next table to die down.
"Well, of course, he did it, and it took over three hours. Word spread and people kept coming in to get their turn. Spock and a few others stayed to the end. I wasn't sure the Captain would last. He gripped the arms of the chair, tears streaming down his cheeks, but he listened attentively to each and every one. Spock was last. All he said was, 'Jim, my esteem for you continues to grow. I know how hard this was for you.'
"The captain stood up, looked at me, said nothing, and left. I almost regretted what I had done. But Spock turned to me and said, 'Do not worry. He will be all right. It is a good thing you have done to him. Thank you.'
"We did have lunch the next day. I'm not sure what I expected, maybe for him to make a joke out of the whole thing. But he didn't; he thanked me.
"'Uhura, thank you, I would never have endured such a thing if you hadn't required it. Criticism would have been easy; I was ready for that - expected it. I've certainly made my share of mistakes over the years. But to sit there and listen to testimony after testimony in praise of my character - my courage, my compassion, my whatever - I just wanted to scream. But you had commanded silence, so I bit my tongue, clung to the chair, and cried silently. I wanted to deny that what they said about me was true, because it's not how I see myself.'
"He told me he went back to his cabin and argued with the Lord about it half the night. When he finally ran out of steam, he said the Lord spoke to him. Jim, I don't see you the way they do. I don't see you the way you see yourself. When I look at you, I see Jesus in you. And it's in His righteousness that you and I can talk. It's not how good and wonderful you look; it's not how bad you think you are; it's in and through Jesus that you are made righteous.
"So he thanked me again because he'd gotten this word from the Lord, because of what I'd forced him to face. And Chuck, he never asked me why I did it; he never said, 'don't you dare do this to me again'; he never pointed out that what I'd made him endure was much worse than what he'd done to me."
They were both finished eating, and lunch break was about over. So they tabled Uhura's testimony until dinner.
Once again seated with their food trays in the officers' mess, Chuck asked his first question. "What was the most significant thing about that incident with Kirk?"
"It's hard to explain. He'd always been a dynamic leader. We'd follow him anywhere. We all knew that he would die for any one of us, and it wasn't just because he was reckless, although he was. He really cared and we knew it. But this was different. This was caring on a much deeper level.
"You know, we all build protective defense mechanisms from early childhood. Well, I don't know if this makes sense, but it was as if, all of a sudden, he didn't have any defenses. Not because they'd been shattered, but because he didn't need them anymore. That, I think, is what finally got through to me, that this was not the same man I thought I knew.
"I wish I could say he led me to the Lord right then and there, but that's not what happened. I was so profoundly shocked, that I retreated into my own protective shell. But I continued to attend their evening meetings, and I continued to watch their behavior. Some two weeks went by. Finally, I went to see Dr. Chapel.
"Christine was one of the twelve at the first baptism. She and I had been pretty close off and on over the years. I felt I could talk to her and get straight answers. Not that the Captain wouldn't have answered my questions. But I didn't feel intimidated by Christine. Anyway, we had several talks that next week, some of them quite lengthy. As a result, I gave my life to the Lord, and was baptized with the second group."
Chuck quizzed Uhura as to what her questions were. They ranged from the simple - 'Who is God really?', and 'Is Jesus a white man?' - to the complex - 'What does it mean to be made righteous, and what difference does it make?' They ran out of time before she could answer all those questions.
The believers' meeting was interesting. Chuck had been to a couple of the large group meetings, but this was his first small group. There were ten people; Uhura was the team leader. They took turns sharing first about praise reports, then prayer requests, often on behalf of others. They spent some ten minutes praying for the mentioned requests.
Then Uhura said they would have to cut short the second part of their meeting, but she felt led to address an issue anyway, even if only briefly. She quoted a couple of Scriptures, then began to talk about the pain of returning sight. After giving a rather graphic description, she asked if anyone was battling fear of it. Three admitted they were. She then laid hands on each of them in turn and prayed for them. Lastly she closed the meeting with a brief prayer for all of them. After the group disbursed, Chuck had a few minutes alone with Uhura.
"Can you tell me why I do not sense in these people the same openness that you and the other senior officers have displayed? Is it because of me?"
"No, I don't think so. It's because they are fairly new in the Lord. Their minds have not yet been sufficiently retrained that their behavior is as changed as ours is. And the rate of change is different with each of us. My job is to love them all right where they're at, and encourage them to let the Lord change them as He chooses."
xxxx
Chuck attended the show later that evening. They were seating blind personnel in front of sighted, so Chuck got a seat in the fourth row. As in the previous night, the most popular were those that talked non-stop, displayed a fear of it, and then showed off with some gymnastics trick.
He followed the action fairly well by sound, especially since he knew by experience what was happening on stage. However, he could not guess the contents of the vat. The sound was a squish, but different from the jello. He tried to capture the smell of it, and he caught a whiff of something several times, but could not identify it. When the show was over with winners chosen, they announced the contents of the vat: cooked spinach. A chorus of disgusting noises ensued, but Chuck just laughed. When the room was quiet, Griggs made a further announcement.
"How many of you have enjoyed these two shows?" Vigorous applause. "How many of you are eager to try this for yourselves?" Nervous chuckles. "That's what I thought. How many of you would like to see the six winners compete again for champion?" Deafening applause. "Should we ask them if they're willing?" Hiss, boo, no-o-oo. "If Spock, Sulu, and Chuck are in the audience, please come to the stage."
As Chuck squeezed past the people seated in his row, he wondered if they were going to hold this playoff contest right then. Spock and Sulu both got there before he did. Griggs lined them up facing the audience. Knowing what it was, the spinach smell was quite obvious this close to the vat. Griggs started talking to them.
"They don't want me to give you the option of backing out. Do you understand what is being demanded of you?"
They each responded in the affirmative.
"Are you afraid?" Six negatives.
Then Spock interrupted. "Sir, if I may make a number of suggestions?"
"Of course. Improvement is always welcome," Griggs smirked.
"If you would put off this contest until tomorrow night, you could change the contents of the vat once more, so that we would all be in ignorance. Secondly, if you moved the contest to the Hangar Deck, you could raise the ladder an unspecified number of steps. Third, if contestants were kept in a separate room, none would have the unfair advantage of hearing others perform. Of course, the risk in putting it off is the possibility that some contestants may regain their sight before tomorrow evening."
"All good suggestions. Audience, I put it to a vote: How many think we should do it now?" A smattering of applause. "Tomorrow?" Resounding applause. "All right. Same time tomorrow night, on the Hangar Deck. Dismissed."
xxxx
Chuck was supposed to spend the next day with Chekov, but Chekov spent the day in bed recovering his sight. His chosen buddy was Sulu, who kept him supplied with medicine. Chuck visited briefly, but only stayed a few minutes, because Chekov was so incoherent. Sulu was showing no signs of discomfort, and was his usual cheerful self.
Uhura was also missing from the Bridge crew that morning. Inquiry discovered she had been up all night with Christine Chapel and was sleeping. Young and Spock were being monitored by Lila and Sam, respectively, so Chuck went in search of Sullivan. He found him on the Rec Deck with Tanzer. He reported Chekov's and Uhura's condition and asked for new orders. Sullivan sent him to McCoy.
"But don't expect too much. He's undoubtedly still overworked."
"Right, sir. May I ask a personal question?"
"Certainly." Sullivan's tone was brisk, but not unfriendly.
Chuck kept it mild and respectful. "We were encouraged to find a buddy for the process of returning sight. I wondered if you had done so."
"No. I don't plan to need one. Why? Are you volunteering?"
"Not really, but if I don't show up for work, I wouldn't mind if you checked on me."
"Sounds like a good arrangement. Neither of us needs a babysitter."
McCoy was indeed busy when Chuck arrived in Sickbay, so he made the rounds of the patients instead. Opinions of McCoy were high, both personally and professionally. And praise of his Sickbay was unanimous. One crewman put it well.
"Nobody wants to be sick or injured. But I'd much rather be in McCoy's Sickbay, than any starbase, or even earth-based hospital, and I've been in a few."
Chuck had started in on the staff when McCoy finally came over.
"Are you pestering my people?" But he said it with a smile.
"Yes, Doctor, I am," Chuck admitted without apology.
"Well, you might as well pester me for a while. Come on into my office."
As they were seated, the intercom whistled.
"Doctor, it's Uhura. She didn't ask for you, but-"
"I'll talk to her. Thanks."
"Uhura, it's McCoy. How are you?" It was not a polite non-question. But she didn't answer it.
"Doctor, I only wanted to know about Christine. I left her at 0630 to get some sleep. It seemed like the worst was over for her."
"It is. She called in an hour ago. I told her to get some sleep." McCoy's medical radar was picking up something. "Uhura, what are you not telling me?"
"It crept up on me while I was asleep. If you put me on the sick list, it'll save me having to call the Bridge."
"Have you got medicine?"
"I gave Christine what I had. She didn't think it would be that bad."
"Famous last words. I'll send you some. Do you want somebody to stay with you? I don't think it'd be wise to wake Christine, but I can find someone else."
"Don't bother. I'll be okay. And no rush on the medicine. I haven't decided whether to take it or not," she admitted reluctantly.
"Uhura, I'm telling you - take the medicine. Your recovery time will be seriously hindered if you don't. You saw what happened to Christine, and she knows better."
"But if I'm giving the pain to Jesus, I shouldn't need medicine."
"Uhura, how much practice have you had doing that?"
"Not a lot, but more than Christine has," she claimed half-defiantly.
McCoy sighed. "Well, I can't stop you from trying, but be sure the Lord is saying to do this, and not your flesh wanting to do what Jim Kirk can do."
She acknowledged the advice with a nod. "Understood, Doctor. Uhura out."
"McCoy to Spock."
"Yes, Doctor."
"I just put Uhura on the sick list too. And Spock, she's trying to do this without medicine."
"Understood. I will do what I can, Doctor. Spock out."
Chuck had a question. "Doctor, can you explain the reference to 'flesh'?"
"Sure. It doesn't mean skin, or even the physical body. It's an old English usage that means the natural desires uncontrolled by the Holy Spirit. In this case, it could easily be a pride issue. We all know Jim Kirk wouldn't need pain medicine. Spock wouldn't either, but he's Vulcan, so he doesn't count. But trying to emulate Jim Kirk is a common failing among the crew. Uhura and Christine are by no means the only ones who've tried it."
"Has anyone succeeded?"
"A few. But most eventually give up and take the medicine. It takes a rare breed of stubbornness to do what Jim does."
"Which is?"
"First of all, his body is already conditioned to accept high levels of pain. Secondly, he made up his mind a long time ago that an ability to think was more important than pain avoidance. And he's been in plenty of situations where that decision was critical for survival. Third, he's not afraid to be stretched. Words like 'limit', 'can't', and 'give up' simply don't exist as far as he's concerned."
"Sounds like emulating Jim Kirk is a tall order."
"It is, but that reminds me. You haven't signed out any pain medicine either."
"I've got time yet," Chuck put him off casually.
"Don't wait too long."
xxxx
Midafternoon, Spock went to see Uhura. Finding her cabin unlocked, he entered.
"Uhura, it is Spock. Can you hear me?"
"Come on in, Spock. Forgive me for not getting up."
"Certainly." He sat in the chair by her bed. "I heard of your present difficulty from Dr. McCoy. Is there anything I can do to assist you?"
"You can tell me how the Captain manages to keep this up for hours on end without losing his cool."
Spock knew she didn't refer to Young, but to Kirk.
"By maintaining complete relaxation, which he can do because of total acceptance, and an absence of fear. But he has had much practice. Why do you wish to copy him?"
"I don't know, Spock." Pause. "I miss him, and he hasn't even been gone a week."
"He is all right. I would know if he weren't. Uhura, God has given Jim special giftings, including an ability to handle pain. God has given you other gifts, no less special. In the present situation, there is no need for you to endure this without medicine. You are no less valuable in my sight if you choose to take the medicine."
"Thank you, Spock. That means a lot." She took a deep breath and relaxed. "Okay, I'll take the pills."
Moments after leaving Uhura, Spock heard Kirk's voice in his head.
*Spock, are you there?*
*Yes, Jim.*
*I don't see how it's possible to talk like this at such a distance. Are you as unaware of me as I am of you, unless we're talking?*
*No, I am continually aware of your thoughts. I have not initiated conversation, because I do not wish to distract you.*
*So from your end, this is just like any other meld.*
*Yes, except that it does not require nearly as much energy to maintain this link.*
Jim's anxiety came through clearly. *You know I let you do this against my better judgment.*
*Do you find my presence an intrusion?*
*Spock! I don't care if you're reading my mind all the time. I've nothing to hide from you, and you know it. My concern is what happens to you when I die. Assuming I have any warning at all, if I tell you to go, just do it - no arguments, no questions, no goodbyes.*
*It should not be necessary for you to concern yourself with it, since I will know everything you know. Also, it is possible that this link is different enough that feeling your death will not incapacitate me.*
*Maybe, but I wouldn't hold my breath on it.*
*Jim, I am doing this because the Lord told me to. There is something you will need that I can do for you. I trust it will be obvious when the time comes.*
*I'm sorry, I should have known it was something like that. I'll just have to trust the Lord to take care of you.*
xxxx
Chuck saw Sulu at dinner. He reported that Chekov was over the worst, but wouldn't come to the show that night. Chuck sensed something in Sulu's voice.
"What about you, Sulu? Are you okay with tonight's show?"
"I'll be there," Sulu replied grimly. "Don't you worry."
"It's your eyes, isn't it?" Chuck guessed. "You're starting to get symptoms."
"Don't you dare tell McCoy! I don't want to get disqualified. It isn't as if I could see anything."
"Sulu, the show isn't for another three hours. You'll be in agony by then!"
"I don't care!" he insisted adamantly.
"It's just a game!"
"Promise me you won't tell, Chuck."
"I won't, if you agree to tell Spock. If he thinks it's safe, I won't say anything."
"All right, I'll tell Spock."