Chapter 4: The First Moment

"Could you hold on a moment?" Sokka asked. Zuko just looked at him. "I need to go freshen up. I was just on a run, after all."

Zuko blinked and then nodded. "Oh, sure."

Walking out of the tent, Sokka hurried to his tent. He splashed his face with some water and dried it off. Grabbing a brush covered in dust in the corner, he pulled his hair out of the wolf tail and took a few minutes to brush his hair. His hair was much softer and smoother than it used to be. In the last few weeks leading up to Aang and Katara's return, he had been neglecting the sides of his head. His hair had always grown quickly, which made maintaining it a pain. Lately, he's had less of a desire to. Even still, the amount that had grown in such a short time was strange. Sokka would never claim to understand anything about the spirits, but maybe the changes his body was going through was making his hair and nails grow faster. His hair didn't match in length, but when it was down, you almost couldn't tell. Looking at himself in the reflection of the water, he brushed his hair so more and made sure there wasn't any dirt or anything on his face.

Satisfied, he stood up and turned to a small bag lying beside his sleeping mat. Inside, there was a tunic designed for a woman that Gran Gran had made for him. He hadn't worn it, which made him feel a bit guilty but now is a great excuse to put it on. Sokka hurried to get changed without messing up his hair. He made a note for the future: get changed before hair. The tunic was smaller than what he was used to, but it fit. It had elaborate, flowing embroidery. Very girly. He felt a bit nervous and self-conscious going out like this. What if someone saw him? Why was he doing this again? A prank? Too many questions. He pushed them aside and with a hard swallow, he stepped outside his tent.

The fog outside was beginning to lift. He did see some early risers walking around, but no one he knew personally. Hurrying back to the chief's tent, he found Zuko seated on one of the mats arranged in a circle. Some Fire Nation guards had caught up to his and were standing on the sides of the room. They immediately looked at Sokka. Zuko held up his hand to signal to stay where they were.

"I'm sure Chief Hakoda will be along shortly. He always likes going over plans before the morning meeting in here." Sokka said.

Zuko cocked an eyebrow. "You seem to know a lot about the chief's schedule."

Sokka blinked and then laughed. "Well, you know… Small village. You just notice things when not much is going on."

The Fire Lord seemed to go off into another world for a moment and then nodded. "The Fire Palace is always a hectic place. Even beyond that, the Capital, is also always busy. So many people. So many things to do. Nobody notices anyone else's patterns or schedules. I can't imagine living in such a place." Honestly, Sokka was surprised that Zuko believed him. His amazement must be been telling because Zuko said, "Oh, sorry. I shouldn't be talking so casually with someone I just met. It feels like we know each other, though. You do look familiar."

Laughing, Sokka said, "I…uh… Well, you see, I'm related to Katara."

Zuko gave his knee a light rap and nodded. "That's it! You look a lot alike—although, I don't remember Sokka or her speaking about a sister."

Sokka waved his hand. "Oh, I'm sure it's because you guys were busy saving the world. I can see why a few personal details would get pushed to the side."

"It was a hectic time. There was so much going on. I didn't think a lot of things I did back then through." He looked away, his eyes going soft. "Mai…"

"How is Mai?" Sokka perked up. "Ummm… Katara mentioned here. She's your fiancée, right?"

Zuko kept his gaze away from Sokka and said, "We were betrothed for most of our lives. Never really thought about it. Never really cared. There was always something else going on." He shook his head. "Problems start when you start thinking."

"Don't I know," Sokka said to himself. Leaning forward, he asked, "Did something happen?"

"About a year ago, I asked her if she loved me. Like really loved me—I wasn't really sure what love was, still don't. I liked Mai. She was familiar. I couldn't help but wonder, though: is that enough? Mai seemed to think so. I even tried to convince myself that it was enough too, but it gnawed at my in the back of my mind." He laughed to himself and continued, "I guess I have my own dreams about how I think this stuff should happen. For a long time, the Fire Nation line has been determined by birth." His face grew serious. "But we don't live in that Fire Nation anymore. A departure from what's expected and what's traditional was imminent. I needed to find out for myself what that meant."

All of this was foreign to Sokka, but he was interested regardless. "What does it mean?"

Zuko looked into the hearth at the center of the room. "Wish I knew. It's something I haven't discovered yet. But it involved getting to know Mai beyond the tradition, beyond what was expected. What I found is that we have too little in common. We got along, but nothing special." He laughed lightly in an almost bitter way. "Sorry, I'm talking too much—you're easy to talk to."

Sokka shrugged and said, "I sometimes think it's really easy to talk to strangers, especially when you're traveling. It's easy to tell your secrets to someone you're not going to see tomorrow and for the rest of your life."

"Oh, so you've traveled?" The Fire Lord asked.

It was at that moment that Chief Hakoda walked in with Katara. They seemed to be having a conversation about something, but whatever it was got cut off at the sight before them.

"Sokka?" Katara said, her eyes wide.

Hakoda's face changed from shock to a bittersweet look of pride.

"Where's Sokka?" Zuko asked.

Katara looked at Zuko and then Sokka in confusion and then her eyebrows descended with anger as she worked out what must be going on.

Hakoda stepped forward with his arms wide and said, "Fire Lord Zuko! This is a surprise and quite an honor. A guard woke up when you arrived, but you caught me off guard. It's taken me a while to assemble the generals for an early meeting." He pointed at him with a smile. "I'm glad you're here. We need to iron out some misunderstandings in some trade agreements."

Zuko grew a bit pale at the prospect of paperwork and sighed. "If we must. I came because I got word that Aang and Katara had returned home and I wished to show my respects and thanks after all that happened with Mother."

Looking confused and then pitiful. "Zuko, we're friends. You don't need to thank us for anything. It's what we do."

Throwing up a fist, Sokka said, "Yeah, we showed Azula a thing or two during that, huh?"

Zuko turned to look at Sokka, suspicion in his eyes. "You weren't there, were you?"

Sokka covered his mouth. Katara glared at him and then smiled at Zuko. "Do you mind? I need to have a talk with my sister."

The Fire Lord nodded and then seemed to be mentally preparing himself as the generals came marching into the tent to sit in the circle. Katara dragged Sokka out of the tent after they entered. She threw him a few feet from the fountain and put her hands on her hips. "What was that?"

Sokka sighed with relief and ran a hand through his hair. "It was just meant to be a goof, honestly, but things…got weird."

"Weird how?" Katara asked.

He shrugged. "He started talking about Mai and how things didn't work out with her."

Katara gave him a dubious look. "Zuko? About Mai? To you? Some girl he never saw before?"

"He was the one who pointed out how strange it was," Sokka said.

"So what was your plan?"

Sokka gave a smile and said, "Maybe flirt with him a little and then reveal my identity and be all—ah hah!" He jumped toward Katara and waved his hands around. "It was me all along!"

Katara wasn't impressed. "That's so stupid."

"Tell me about it," Sokka said, turning away while rolling his eyes. "He totally ruined it by making it all serious."

"That's not what I meant, Sokka," Katara said, crossing her arms. "You need to be careful. Your change is supposed to be a secret."

Sokka turned slowly with a raised eyebrow. "It's the worst kept secret in the village!"

Katara threw her hands out at Sokka. "Well, duh! I meant to everyone else. You can't hide your identity from the village, but the entire Fire Nation doesn't need to know you grew boobs."

"It's not all of the Fire Nation. It's just Zuko. Settle down."

She took a moment to collect her thoughts before continuing, "Not just Zuko. His guards were in there. They know who Sokka is. They know he's one of the people that helped end the war. If they found out that you're a woman now, why wouldn't they tell someone?"

Sokka just shook his head. "When did everything get so complicated? I can't even prank a friend."

"Well, when that friend becomes the Fire Lord, things get complicated," Katara said. There was a pause and then she smiled slyly. "By the way, nice outfit. Gran Gran make it for you?"

Sokka had forgotten about the girly outfit and he felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment. "Yeah… Oh, no…"

Katara just patted his shoulder. "Welcome to womanhood, dear brother." She studied him for another second. "Wow… You even brushed your hair and washed your face." Giggling, she asked, "Maybe you like Zuko?"

A fire burst from inside Sokka's chest and it exploded out of his mouth. "What?!"

Katara kept giggling. "You're so red."

"I'm not red. I'm not blushing. I don't like Zuko. He's Zuko." He felt as if he should be angry or disgusted, but he only felt alarm.

Holding up her hand, she couldn't breathe she was laughing so hard. "Now you settle down. I was only teasing you." She paused for a moment. "But seriously, I think that you should tell Zuko the truth, but just make sure you're alone. Don't worry; I can help make it happen."

Sokka's face fell serious as he said, "You you talked with Suki at all?"

She nodded and sighed. "She won't listen to reason. I tried to tell her that you're still the same person, but…"

"That isn't enough and I understand why," Sokka said.

Katara's eyebrows rose with surprise. "You do? But if you're the same person, why should it matter if you're a girl now? Suki is already kind of butch."

He stared for a second and then slapped his forehead. "You can be surprisingly dense sometimes. Look, imagine if Aang became a woman, would you really be okay with that?"

She stopped and looked like she was taking the question seriously and then nodded. "Of course. I would still love him and stay by his side, even if he became a woman." The look in her eye told him that she was being serious.

Surprised and a little impressed, it took a bit before Sokka could respond. "Then maybe you don't understand that not everyone is like that. Not everyone's sexuality is that fluid. Suki likes men and that's all she likes. She still loves me, but I have a female body now—well, not completely yet, but you know what I mean. When she looks at me, she sees a woman and she can't… Well… Get into it."

Crossing her arms, Katara seemed to be taking this in with difficulty. "But she admits that she still loves you."
"Sometimes," Sokka began to say, but a knot got caught in his throat for a moment. "Sometimes love isn't enough to overcome some obstacles. She feels terrible enough about this situation already. She doesn't want to leave. She doesn't want us to break up. At the same time, it may be inevitable."

She nodded and said, "Lately, she's been thinking a lot. I can tell. When we talk, it's like she's somewhere else. I'm pretty sure she misses you."

There wasn't anything else Sokka could say about Suki that he hasn't already said to Katara in the past week, so he just nodded. It was about then that the generals began to leave the tent, looking a bit smugger than Sokka was comfortable with after leaving a meeting with Zuko. The two siblings looked at each other with the same look of animosity toward the situation. Still, they walked back inside the tent. As they stepped inside, they found Hakoda in the middle of what looked like a bonding conversation, but Zuko looked a bit frayed in mood.

Clapping her hands, he caught the attention of the men. "Zuko, it's been a long time."

His face brightened with the sight of someone friendly and then he nodded. "It has."

Katara smiled and said, "Now, I know that you're busy, but there's something I need to tell you. It's personal, though, so could you excuse your guards?"

The Fire Lord nodded and then gave a hand signal to his guards. The guards hesitated, but obeyed and marched out of the tent in precise lines. Sokka noticed and admired the discipline, but wasn't a big fan of the robotic way that they moved.

Once the guards were gone, Katara peaked outside to make sure they had taken posts outside of earshot. When she was satisfied, she walked back and sat next to Zuko. She gestured to Sokka to do the same. Sokka wasn't sure about sitting so close if he didn't have to, but he did so anyway.

"A lot of things have changed in the past two years," Katara said with a light smile.

"Don't have to tell me," Zuko said, looking visibly more relaxed that he doesn't have to look and sound so official anymore. "The Fire Nation is like a completely different place."

Katara gave Sokka a look and he groaned nonverbally and said, "Here's the thing, Zuko."

The Fire Lord looked at Sokka and his face immediately snapped back into professional mode. "Please—"

Sokka held up his hand. "Yeah, I know, but you do know me." Zuko didn't looked convinced, but Sokka smiled and said, "When you first met me, I charged at you with a club and you kicked me to the side as if I was nothing."

He gave Sokka a look almost as if saying that it could have been anyone from when he was younger, but then looked perturbed and then laughed. "I still don't know. It couldn't be who I'm thinking, but then again… I haven't seen Sokka since I came here." He pointed to Katara. "And Katara called you Sokka earlier."

"Katara never mentioned another sibling because we didn't have another sibling. I'm Sokka."

Zuko shifted toward Sokka and asked, "How did this happen?" He held out a hand and cupped Sokka's cheek. "You look and feel exactly like a woman."

Sokka's cheeks flushed and a strange excitement grew from deep inside his chest, but he backed away and said, "Aang determined that my bond with Yue is the cause of the change. He isn't sure why, but guesses that she didn't do it on purpose. A part of her is inside of me and since she's a woman, my body began to reflect her will."

"This spiritual stuff," Zuko said with exasperation, "can be a source of frustration and confusion. Aang is stretched thin as the only person who can go to the Spirit World."

Katara gave Zuko a reassuring pat on his arm. "He can handle it."

"I want to believe you and believe in him," the Fire Lord said. "But the world is changing and the Aang is a creature of the past. He's having a hard time coping with all the changes happening in the Earth Kingdom."

She sighed and nodded. "He is, but I think a lot of the world outside of the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom is having a hard time adjusting to all of the new machines appearing. Factories. Look around you in this village: not a single machine to be found. I can't help but feel like it'll be like that for a long time yet."

Zuko looked at Sokka seriously and then took his hands into his as he said, "I can't imagine what this has been like for you, Sokka. I hope that you're doing okay."

Once again, Sokka felt his cheeks flushing. "Dude, I'm not dying. I'm just becoming a woman." Seizing a hand away from Zuko, he waved it as he said, "Granted, it did take me a while to admit to what was happening."

"A while?" Katara said, leaning into Sokka's view. "You waited years before you told anyone and only after it had become visibly obvious."

Zuko let go of Sokka's other hand. "If there's anything I can do to help, just let me know."

Sokka got close to saying nothing, but an idea occurred to him. "I could use a ride to the Northern Water Tribe."

"The Northern Water Tribe? Why?" Katara asked.

"Because if there's any way I can talk to Yue, it would be there," Sokka said.

The Fire Lord nodded and said, "You got it."

Katara said, "You could always ask Aang to give you a ride with Appa."

Sokka held up his hand. "I appreciate that, but this is a journey I think I need to take on my own. I can't explain it."

Smirking, Katara said, "You know, those clothes really suit you, Sokka. You should keep wearing them." She elbowed Zuko. "Right?"

Visibly put on the spot, he stopped to look at Sokka and a little pink formed on his cheeks. "Uh… Yeah… You look…cute, Sokka. I like it." He coughed. It was almost as if he saw Sokka as a woman for the first time.