Chapter 6
Chuck raised the subject again the next day.
"Spock, about Twenty-nine, is there any reason I shouldn't go talk to him myself whenever I have time?"
"I do not know the medical effects of prolonged sessions of contact. If you expect to do this repeatedly, consultation with Dr. McCoy would be prudent."
"I may do that. Two other questions: what he did the first time - that automatic download - is it really dangerous to my mind?"
"I do not think so, not in seven-minute segments anyway."
"Good. The other question is complicated. Twenty-nine showed me his first meeting with Jim. But he left out a part of that conversation in which Jim showed him his memory of the hours immediately prior to his becoming a Christian. Twenty-nine would not show me those memories because of confidentiality. However, he agreed that if I obtained your permission, he would, provided you gave assurance that Jim would consider such permission sufficient."
"Do you understand what you are asking for?" Spock inquired mildly.
"I believe so. Jim is gone, probably beyond the reach of any harm my reports could do." He swallowed. "You, however, are not. I understand if you don't want to give me access to those memories. There are limits to Jim's 'no secrets' policy."
Spock shook his head. "You misunderstand me. There are no limits on the 'no secrets' policy, not for Jim, and not for me. He would not refuse you access to those memories, nor shall I. My question concerns your knowledge of what those memories contain. You are asking to live those hours as he lived them, to feel what he felt. The level of emotional trauma was severe. Why do you wish to subject yourself to this unique form of agony?"
"Because it's part of who Jim Kirk is."
"Very well. I will speak with Twenty-nine."
It was two days later before Chuck found a block of free time to pursue his conversation with Twenty-nine. They discussed the problems involved in what Chuck was asking for. Jim's memory tape ran a little over fifteen minutes uncondensed. Chuck wished he could do it uninterrupted, but got Twenty-nine to promise to restart the tape just as soon as he regained consciousness.
Spock was right: It was awful. But Chuck considered it worth every minute. The emotional agony was beyond description. But Chuck had expected that. The principal thing he learned, though he doubted he could express this in words either, was the depth and strength of Jim's commitment to Spock.
xxxx
Spock had lunch with Dr. McCoy the following day. To McCoy's practiced eye, Spock seemed preoccupied. Formerly, he would have had to needle Spock into divulging anything of a personal nature. Now, he came right out and asked.
"Spock, is something troubling you?"
"The Klingons are overdue at Outpost 67."
"Be thankful for small favors. Maybe they won't show up at all. And anyway, how do you know? Uhura promised me she'd let me know if we heard anything from Jim."
"There have been no official communications from 67." He paused. "Doctor, if you have finished your meal, perhaps we could adjourn to your office for a more private conversation."
Silence reigned until they were seated in McCoy's office.
"Doctor, you recall the conversation in Jim's quarters the night we battled the demons? I told you of a type of mind link with Jim which was spontaneously generated. Such a link was established between us the day Jim departed the ship. I have kept that link open for the past two and a half weeks. I have told you this, because I do not know what effect Jim's death would have on me. I have told no one else, because this link is not something I could repeat at will."
McCoy had long ago given up being surprised at Jim and Spock's embracing strange phenomenon, but he couldn't help imagining the shared agony. "Spock, why are you torturing yourself like this? And didn't Jim say he didn't want you to do this?"
"This link is different from the kind he refused. There is no available data on the effects of traumatic severing of this link. Jim has allowed me to remain. He says he doesn't care that I am constantly reading his thoughts. I am able to compartmentalize it, so it is not 'torturing me' as you suggest. But I am doing this because the Lord wants me on hand to do something for Jim when the Klingons arrive. I do not yet know what exactly I am to do."
xxxx
In due course Kirk shared his conversion to Christianity and how that had changed his perspective on many things. Things moved from there to a discussion of miracles. It had been Kirk's intention to speak to each one individually about becoming a Christian, but Burt surprised him at the next evening session.
"This talk of miracles is all well and good, but what speaks loudest to me is what I see in your day-to-day life. You've been demoted from starship captain with a crew of over 400 to head of this outpost with a crew of four. But I don't see any bitterness, contempt, or superiority. Instead, you've been unfailingly cheerful, genuinely concerned about us as people, and more than ready to do your share plus some. I want to know what makes you the way you are, and how do I get what you have?"
So Kirk led him to the Lord right then and there, in front of everybody. As he shed years of bitterness, the change in Burt was immediate and obvious, both in his face and voice. As a result, the other three also wanted to become Christians. That evening's session went on late into the night, but nobody wanted to sleep anyway.
The next several evenings Kirk shared about the basics of a walk with the Lord, and building Christian community. Not knowing if each session would be the last, he tried to say only that which was most important.
xxxx
After two weeks of role-playing Kirk, Young abruptly changed tactics.
"Tomorrow's briefing will be held on the free-fall court. Anyone who doesn't like zero-g, see Dr. McCoy for anti-nausea pills before the meeting. Dismissed."
As the meeting broke up, Sulu couldn't resist needling Spock. Sulu loved zero-g, and he knew Spock didn't.
"Hey, Spock, are you gonna take the pills this time?"
"No, Mr. Sulu. The pills are of limited usefulness to my metabolism. I shall take the precaution of fasting until after the briefing. Do not concern yourself; I will be functional."
The next afternoon, they gathered in the free fall court. Chuck heard mild speculation. Mostly this group exhibited a ready-for-anything attitude, and that cheerfully. Sullivan, who was there too, couldn't understand it. Chuck didn't either, but he accepted it, whereas Sullivan resented it.
When all were gathered, Young turned off the gravity, and announced they would hold a tournament. For the next thirty minutes, they played one on one. Sulu was the champion. He and Chekov played regularly. Everyone else was a novice. Spock learned quickly, of course. Uhura did fairly well. Scotty was used to zero-g, and thinking spatially came naturally. McCoy and Young, however, couldn't seem to do it at all. Chuck and Sullivan weren't asked to play.
Then Young paired them up for a tournament of two on two, asking Chuck to play, so he could have four teams of two. They played three ten-minute games, and Scotty and Chuck were the winning team. Young had teamed himself with Sulu, McCoy with Spock, and Uhura with Chekov, in an obvious attempt to match good with bad players. Chuck had been a wild card, and turned out to be a pretty good player.
The next half hour, Young announced would be a free-for-all: everyone playing at once - the blind against the sighted. This announcement was greeted with dead silence. Then Chekov asked about Chuck.
"Chuck and Sullivan are both on your team."
Spock recognized immediately that he could not hope to win. Any self-respecting Vulcan would concede the game at the outset. But Spock had been much influenced by Jim Kirk, who didn't believe in giving up. So he spoke briefly to Young, who was nearby.
"Sir, if you would play defense, I shall endeavor to score a point or two."
"Certainly, Spock. Any words of wisdom?" Young tried to emulate Kirk's crooked grin, hoping amusement came through in his voice.
Spock ignored the nuance, even if he heard it. "Plant yourself in front of the goal. The ball cannot travel through your body."
Meanwhile the opposing team was getting organized. By unspoken consent, Scotty was captain.
"Let's have Sulu, Chekov, and Chuck on offense. The rest of us play defense. Sulu, plan your tactics while I organize the defense."
Sulu drew Chekov and Chuck to one side.
"Now, here's what I think we should do."
Chuck interrupted, "Remember, Spock can hear every word you say."
"I know. That's why we've got to have a plan that works, even if he knows exactly what we're doing."
Spock was mildly surprised to discover that they actually considered him a threat to their chances of winning. Then he overheard Sullivan telling the defense that they should make as much noise as possible, so as to hinder Spock's ability to hear where the ball was. Uhura protested that this wasn't fair, but she was overruled. Meanwhile Sulu and company were arranging hand signals for communication.
The game began with several swift attacks by Sulu's group. Young managed to ward off the first two, but the third got through and the first point was scored. Within ten minutes, Scotty's team had racked up five points. Spock had not yet scored. During the next ten minutes, Young redoubled his efforts, and Scotty's team only gained another two points. Spock still had not scored. In the last ten minutes, Spock managed to gain control of the ball, divert attention away from Young, and score three points.
With the game over, Young called for debriefing. He wanted to know how they felt about playing a game so obviously weighted toward the advantage of one side over the other, especially against one of their own.
"What we were doing didn't seem fair to you and Spock," was Uhura's thought.
"Life's no' fair!" retorted Scotty.
"Spock can take it," was Chekov's opinion.
Sulu added, "If we had let down our guard for one second, Spock would have taken full advantage of our carelessness. We won, yes, but we wouldn't have if we'd been nice about it."
"If the game had gone on any longer," put in McCoy, "you might even have won. You saw what he did those last few minutes!"
"Actually, no, I didn't, but I gather it was pretty impressive. So the collective opinion is that even blind, Spock can take on the lot of you, and win if you gave him half a chance? Spock, any comments?"
"Their assessment of my ability is rather overstated."
"Ye're jest modest."
"Ve haf seen you and Keptin Kirk pull wictory from defeat too many times, Spock. You cannot fool us."
"And what would Kirk have done in this situation?" Young wanted to know.
"The unexpected."
"Something aggressive."
"He would have changed the rules."
"Probably turn out the lights."
"Spock?" Young asked.
"I presume you mean that he would be participating as a blind player. Do you mean him to replace one of us, or would he be a third player?"
"Does it matter?"
"Yes. With a third player, turning out the lights becomes a viable option. Without it, the opposing team would simply turn them back on and post a guard. If he replaced me, he would probably have played a more aggressive game, taking control of the ball sooner. If he had replaced you, the opposing team might have had some significant competition."
"And what about you, Spock? Don't you think the game was unfair?" he probed.
"Sir? I fail to see what bearing fairness has on the matter. Doubtless you had reasons for arranging the parameters of the game as you did."
"Indeed I did. This session's adjourned. Same time and place tomorrow. Dismissed. Spock, if you would remain, please, I'd like a word in private."
The room emptied except for Young, Spock, and Chuck. Chuck did not even tell them he was there, though he was sure Spock knew it. Impossible to tell whether Young did or not.
"Spock, I deliberately set you up. Yet you display no anger. Do you hide it behind a Vulcan mask of calm?"
"Why should I be angry about a game?" Spock was genuinely puzzled.
"They ganged up on you. I wanted them to. I wanted to know if they would, and I wanted to know what you would do."
"Are you satisfied with the results of your experiment?"
"Yes, so far. You said earlier that if you and Kirk had been playing together, you might have won. Why?"
"Several advantages would be at work: Captain Kirk plays recklessly and doesn't believe in giving up. We work well as a team without the need to discuss strategy. Lastly, the opposing team believes that we would win."
"Spock, I would like you to teach me to fight the way Kirk does, so that the two of us could win against Sulu and Chekov."
"Is that in the way of an order, sir?" A note of reluctance came through clearly.
"No. I gather you don't want to. Why not?"
"There are several elements. Skill in unarmed combat, facility in zero-g, and an extensive repertoire of tactics and strategy are all important. But the key is to think like he does, and that is not easily taught. However, I have a prior question, if I may."
"Of course."
"Why are you studying and trying to imitate Captain Kirk?"
"He told me you knew. I'm trying to take his place not only as Captain of the Enterprise, but socially and relationally among you senior officers."
"May I speak freely, sir?"
"Yes, please do." Getting Spock to speak his personal opinion was rare. Young held himself still and focused.
"I do not believe you can achieve your goal by trying to imitate Jim Kirk. No matter how well you imitate him, you cannot be Jim Kirk. No one expects you to, or wants you to. The relationships among the senior officers of this vessel are characterized first by honesty. If you would replace Jim Kirk, you must do it as Joshua Young, not as an imitation."
"You don't sound as if you object to my goal."
"Captain Kirk didn't either," Spock reminded him.
"I don't understand either of you."
"Jim Kirk is my best friend. One of the things we have an understanding about is the importance of the safety of this vessel and her crew. We support your goal because it is best for the Enterprise. Nothing we do here will bring him back. Conversely, it is not necessary for me to deny my friendship with Jim in order to be a friend to you."
"So, how do I go about establishing myself as Josh Young, friend of Spock?"
"Do you play chess?"
xxxx
With Spock's encouragement, Young began to spend time with each of them. They all found him friendly, easy to talk to, charming. A real enigma, considering his service record. McCoy was holding forth in the officers' mess over a late dinner, trying to get an opinion out of Spock. Suddenly Spock's still form became rigid.
"What is it, Spock? What's wrong?"
"Klingons, at Outpost 67."