Uryu's POV
"That fake-breasted bimbo did what to my rice?" Rukia growled when Chad explained what had happened in the cafeteria. You'd think she'd be more worried about my well-being, right? Chizuru rubbed at her shoulders. "Calm down, Rukiruki," she murmured softly to her. "No! Do you know how long it took Nii-sama to make those lunches? Why I oughta shove my foot-" I tuned out the rest of her rants. Honestly, why didn't she think to get the lunches her damn self? If had confronted Rangiku in my place, she would've wiped up the mess with that girl's chest and everything would've gone to hell. But I don't care! I wouldn't have rice down my back then, would I? "I'll fix some more bentoes for you guys," Chad said, but no one really heard him over our president's angry voice. Because I'm such a good person, I passed out what was left of the lunches to Kon, Mizuiro, and Shuuhei. Damn that Hallibel wannabe! I'm super hungry now!
"Chad seems like a nice dude," Kon says, munching on his food. "Yeah, I wonder why he was so happy to help out our little Uryu," Chizuru added, wigging her eyebrows. The way she said that made me arch an eyebrow. It was almost as if she was suggesting... My face went red. "No! It's not even like that, Chizuru!" I squeaked. "He said that he helped me because Ichigo and Keigo liked me," Kon, Mizuiro, and Shuuhei gasped. "No way!" they all cried out, dropping their food in exictement. Well, Kon and Shuu were excited. Mizuiro had this strange look pointed my face. It looked like he was actually glaring at me. What on earth did I do wrong? "That's impossible! Keigo pratically has 'Anti-Gay' tattoed on his forehead!" Shuuhei chuckled. "You're right, Shuu. He must think Uryu's a girl or something!" Kon guessed correctly. I think it's in my best interest that I don't tell them about the "Umeko" incident. They'd probably laugh at me. "As for Ichigo," Rukia said, finally deciding to end her ranting and join the group. "I'm sure he's gay," Everyone stared at her with wide eyes, including me. How in the hell did she know that? Kon cleared his throat and said, "You guys dated for, like, two months! When did you-"
"Since I caught him ogling my big brother's ass when he thought I wasn't looking." I couldn't help but laugh at that. So, Ichigo's into "Pretty" guys. Looks like I've got an advantage! Well duh, Ishida! Like him making out with you wasn't a big hint! How about I keep that a secret, too? "Now Rukiruki! You know that's not a fair argument," Chizuru argued. "You know damn well that Byakuya's ass is inhuman," Everyone else murmured in agreement. What? It's true! That ass is nice. "That's gross!" Rukia grumbled. "What, so you don't agree?" I asked her. Our president flushed a bright red color. "I... I didn't say that..."
After we laughed at Rukia for a bit, the conversation turned back on to the subject of Keigo and Ichigo. Chizuru and Rukia fought over who would be a better boyfriend for me. Um, hello? Keigo's an annoying homophobe and Ichigo's a freaking god. What is there to debate about? "Ichigo is a closet moron that follows whatever the majority does!" Rukia shouted. That was kinda true... "Well. Keigo treats anyone who isn't straight like utter crap! Remember what he did to Shuuhei? Who knows what he'll do when he finds out that Uryu's a dude?" Chizuru yelled back. My head shook at the both of them. Though, like I said, Rukia does have a point. Ichigo is still in the closet and it doesn't look like that's going to change anytime soon. "So, Uryu, I heard that you are the son of the infamous 'Kurosaki Hime'!" The secretary pointed out to me. Rukia glared at her. "That doesn't have anything to with this!"
"It has everything to do with this! What if Uryu decides to follow in his beautiful father's footsteps and become the bride of a Kurosaki?" Chizuru exclaimed. Kon and shuuhei applauded her. I was dumbfounded. Did she just call Ryuken beautiful? First Szayel, now her? What do these people see in that stern man? "I actually spent the night over the Kurosakis' house last night," I told them suddenly. Of course, I immediately regretted doing that when I heard Chizuru let out a loud squeal. "Tell. Me. Every dirty detail!" she took my shoulders and shook me. "W-wait! I had no choice! Ryuken and Isshin got drunk so I had to stay there!"
"Did you sleep in his bed?" Chizuru asked, completely ignoring me. Ugh! I guess there's no way around this.
"Yes." Another squeal.
"Did you guys go past first base?"
"No." And... cue the disappointed grunts! "Damn! I thought Ichi would be more forceful!" Kon grumbled.
"Are you two boyfriends?" Shuuhei asked. I shook my head. "We're supposed to be going on a double date with a friend of mine and somebody Ichigo chose on Saturday."
"Does that mean you'll be at his rugby game on Sunday?" Chizuru asked, eyes gleaming.
"The members of the Student Council have to supervise each game, so he has to go!" Rukia stated. "But Mizuiro and I are on the spirit team!"
"Wait! This school has a spirit team?" I asked. Chizuru giggled. "Yeah! Didn't you know? Rumor has it that the Kurosaki Hime started up the spirit team to be closer to Isshin Kurosaki during his rugby games!" My eyes widened. Guess who has two thumbs, a sexy date on Saturday, and perfect blackmail material for Ryuken. Uryu Ishida!
Heyy! I just wanted to say thanks for all the love and stuff! I've been having a bad case of writer's block lately! *bows* Forgive me! And if you haven't read it already, please check out my IchiIshi one-shot "Our Family"! Thank youu!