A/N: Tonks' point-of-view

A/N #2: Apologies for re-posting chapter 108.

The meeting had already been going on too long. It was supposed to be a quick rundown of what post battle assessments needed to be done, what in the castle needed to be investigated and studied before elves and the faculty could clean up and get back to normal. These things were never easy, the ministry had knowledge that needed to be gained while the survivors merely wanted to finish planning funerals, grieve and figure out how to start living again. It was hard enough when dealing with one family affected, but with the attack on Hogwarts they more or less had five hundred people and their families to deal with. Three aurors and five Ministry officials were already dealing with families wanting to remove their child instantly from the school, whether or not they had been properly questioned. Five hundred witnesses, twenty injured, one dead...This is a nightmare. Tonks thought before correcting herself, No…you wake up from nightmares. As she looked down at the ring now on her left hand she knew there was no waking up, no turning back.

"We need send someone to search Snape's rooms. See if there is any indication of what they have planned next." MacKenzie announced getting to the next order of business.

Tonks head snapped up. "I will do it." She had to know. There must have been something she had missed, some clue as to why he had done this, why he had lied.

MacKenzie gave her a long look before saying slowly, as if for each word he was trying to think of exactly what to say, "That would be ill-advised."

Tonks looked at him and blinked a few times before she realized exactly what he meant. That would be inappropriate. You have a conflict of interest. You are too close to the suspect…The hell she was! I want to find out the "whats and whys" of this more than anyone in this room! She glared back at her comrade before restating, her voice taking on a cold firm edge, "I. will. Do. It"

Kingsley and Mad-eye exchanged looks, and this time it was Mad-eye who spoke, "I am sorry Tonks, but you and Snape were too close."

Tonks winced at the use of her perfered name, it meant Mad-eye was going out of his way to appease her, the wince deepened as she realized just how common knowledge her relationship with Severus had become, even if they didn't know the ins and outs. What had once been her lifeline through the past year had now become humiliating. Aurors were supposed to be good judges of character and here she had chosen a known death eater turned notorious murderer. It didn't matter that everyone else had also seemed to trust him, she had invested so much more. There has to be more, a reason, a clue. I must know. I couldn't have been that wrong. It all couldn't have been a lie. "Please…Yes we were close, but that means that no one knows more of what to look for or where to look than I do. I can also get past the wards, saving us the time, energy and manpower it would take to tear them all down."

Tonks waited as looks were once again exchanged. "Fine," came Mad-eye's gruff reply "but I expect a report immediately after. Be careful. If there is anything of importance in there it is likely to be cursed, as he would know we would conduct a search. If you need backup you will call for it. Albus trusted him and now he is dead, I will not allow you to add yourself to that list Nymphadora."

Between the triumph of being allowed to conduct the search and the sting from that final remark, Tonks let the use of her first name go unchecked as she stood up and left to make her way down to the dungeons.

The moment she walked into Severus' office Tonks realized the other three aurors may have had a point. Making her way over to Severus' bookshelf, her fingers trailed lightly over the spine of a book that had changed so much Screw the Roses Send me the Thorns… "The first lesson you will learn is how to properly kneel for your Dominant"… his voice seemed to echo off the stones around her. Squeezing her eyes shut she tried to force him out as she went through the books one by one, looking for notes, hidden papers, any information at all.

Nothing. Tonks set the last book back on the shelf and turned toward his desk. Her breath caught remembering the joy she had felt when her hair had returned to pink, the calm place in her mind that he had helped her create. That place no longer felt calm or safe, it just reminded her of deception and lies. Drawer by drawer she went through each paper, grading rubrics, potions notes, day planners. She narrowed her eyes as she opened a drawer containing careful rows of vials and dried herbs. Conjuring a box she levitated them out one by one, making sure not to come into physical contact. Wolfsbane, Corpse Water, Bugleweed, Viper's Bugloss, Ashthroat, Henbane, Wormwood, Lupine, Calamus, Dragon's blood, Stinging Nettles, and Bat's Blood Ink.

Tonks hated dealing with ingredients. Spells were easy, they had intent already associated with them, as did completed potions. Ingredients, however, were tricky. The same ingredients that could cure warts could also kill, those that could banish a demonic spirit could summon one. It all depended on the ways they were mixed. Many of the ingredients in front of her were strictly controlled and regulated by the ministry but as a potion's master and the main potion manufacturer for Hogwarts hospital wing he had likely been given authorization, despite his ties to the Dark Lord, thanks to Dumbledore. Why shoot him off a tower when he had given you everything you needed to poison him. Tonks thought bitterly.

Still focused on the ingredients, Tonks opened the last drawer quickly. Looking down she froze at the sight of her collar resting on top of the list of limits her and Sev had created. Hands shaking, she pulled them out. The words became blurry and she wiped her eyes quickly, remembering the fear she had felt when she saw him covered in blood outside the gates of Hogwarts, how she had waited by his side until he had woken up. Turning briskly to the fireplace, she cast Incendio and watched as she crumpled up the sheet of parchment and cast it into the flames. Watching the paper whither and turn black, she felt as though something inside her was doing the same. "Damn you, Sev. Damn. You." She whispered into the fire as she prepared to let her collar follow the paper.

As the image of him saving her from the Vampire, sacrificing years of his life for her came to her, it was like he were there with her, stalling her hand and attempting to ease her pain. I can't do it. She thought with a panic, the list was one thing, destroying the collar meant she should destroy the bracelet and seeing those go up in flames…it was too much right now. Later. I will take care of those later. She promised herself as she slipped the collar inside her robes.

She went through his room in a cold daze, forcing herself to look at the bed, the half drunk cup of Earl Grey tea, the Brimstone potion as if they belonged to someone else. A traitor. A criminal. A Death Eater. Just another day on the job, adding potions, robes, and a mask to the box for Ministry classification and documentation.

Tonks marched up to the office where the other Aurors were still arguing over the impact of Severus' betrayal, how security measures needed to be increased at Hogwarts without Dumbledore there, on how the measures that were already in place were clearly not enough. The moment she entered the room went deathly quiet as each pair of eyes searched her face. Tonks took the box out of her pocket, set it on the desk and used her wand to return it to its normal size, every item neatly arranged and separated as necessary. It held no answers, for her or for them. Those I will have to find myself. Without a word she turned and left.

"Nymphadora?" Mad-eye's rough voice called out to her. Tonks didn't pause, didn't turn, just kept walking.