So Over You

Morgan and Garcia

Chapter Two

July 2011

Her kleenex was a ragged mess. Penelope had cried her way through the ceremony, both because it was beautiful and she was happy and also because it made her think too much.

The wedding preparations had brought up a ton of emotions for her. She missed Emily even more as her and JJ went shopping for dresses. Emily should have been a bridesmaid too. And she missed her own mother and step father. She wished her mother could have lived to see Penelope get married, if that day should ever come.

Seeing JJ finally marry Will had also left Penelope feeling like an old maid who would never have a day like this to call her own, a husband to sleep curled up to every night, a child who had the love of her life's eyes. Penelope had broken up with Kevin Lynch months before, knowing that what they had was good but it wasn't enough for her anymore. It wasn't everything a love should be. She wanted more for herself but there were so many days when Penelope wondered if she had made a huge mistake.

Today was one of them. She couldn't imagine ever ending up married when she was currently stuck in a cycle of having bad date after bad date left and right these days. Penelope had feared this very thing would happen when she had ended her relationship with Kevin. Because its what had always happened before she ever dated Kevin. No guy really took her breath away who she actually dated. She waited for them to grow on her and her to grow on them but nothing really clicked.

Still she had hoped that things would be different now. She was different now. Older and more confident. More aware that she couldn't sit back and let life happen to her. She had to go out and make something amazing happen. And she was trying.

But she was still alone and lonely. She didn't even have a real date for this wedding. She was here with her co-worker Spencer Reid as her escort. Most of her other co-workers all had real dates: Rossi was with a pretty blonde who he met at a writer's conference, Hotch was with a lady that his sister-in-law Jessica had set him up with early this summer and things were still going well between them, and Seaver had brought a man she knew at the FBI academy. Derek was supposed to bring his latest quasi girlfriend but things had gone rocky with them just the other night.

That didn't surprise Penelope any. Derek broke up with more women than most men met in their whole lives. The fact that Derek also couldn't find love didn't comfort her any. In this case, misery did not love company. She wished he could have someone he was crazy about loving him right. But it looked like it wouldn't happen for him either.

They were both just hopeless at romance, sadly.

No wonder they had never done anything about all their chemistry. Neither had a lick of luck at love! Together they were doubly unlucky.

The ceremony and reception were extremely bittersweet for Penelope. Every happy emotion in her was chased by a sad one. She tried to not think about herself, to focus on JJ in her beautiful gown who was so brave to finally take this step, but it was impossible to keep Penelope's thoughts from drifting back to her own sorry love life. Especially when she looked over and met Derek's eyes, just as the preacher was saying the vows. In his gaze was so much powerful emotion that she quickly looked away again, letting out a shuddering breath, discreetly using her kleenex to wipe at her tear stained face.

She was relieved when the dancing started, giving her a distraction from her own thoughts. Thoughts she didn't want to even think- about spending her life without any special love to call her own- but they kept tormenting her as she looked at the happy, newly married couple who both glowed from their mutual joy.

As the maid of honor she had to dance with the best man, who was Will's childhood friend from New Orleans. Tanner was a real southern gentleman, a little paunchy around the guy but otherwise handsome with his dark hair and eyes, and perfect bright white smile. He chatted her up and she did her best to stay cheerful till the dance ended.

Then she made her escape to the bathroom to touch up her make-up and hair before she went to get a drink. She surely needed something strong to help her keep grinning at this point. There was no way Penelope wanted to be appear anything but happy for JJ and happy to be here. Otherwise she'd become an object of pity by everyone who knew she'd recently got out of a long term relationship.

And pity is the last thing she wanted anyone to feel for her. So she wouldn't pity herself- and the life of solitude she might have. No she would smile and remember it was her who broke things off with Kevin. She had known she needed something different than him for her future.

I'll find my uber happy ever after, she told herself as she approached the bar, one of these days...