Chapter 13

Konti did lose the argument, but he pushed it farther than Kirk thought was probably wise. Kirk wondered at that, but had no opportunity to inquire. From Korn's office, they took him directly to a basement room which contained the mindsifter. His impression was that there were several others in the room besides the technicians. Probably security guards for trouble-makers. Kirk thought he heard Koh's voice also, as he was being strapped down.

When they had him thoroughly immobilized, they shaved his head in half a dozen places. To these shaved areas they attached electric leads. They also put a strap on his forehead that ran from one temple to the other. They attached all the wires to a metal frame which they fitted onto his head. They then proceeded to screw the frame into his head in four places. That was painful, but no more so than the head device he'd been wearing for the previous two weeks. As they turned the machine on, Kirk prayed.

Into Your hands, Lord. Thank you for what Spock did, so I don't have to fear this.

Konti watched in silence. Kirk's face remained calm and peaceful, his body relaxed. The technicians thought there was something wrong with the machine. But after checking and rechecking and finding nothing wrong, they proceeded anyway. Somewhat reassured by the data output, they relaxed.

Koh muttered something about incompetence, and the fact that it was taking thirty minutes instead of ten.

Khlat snorted, "Kirk doesn't care!"

Konti continued to watch in silence. He was afraid the memory would haunt him for the rest of his life, but he could not force himself to look away. The man was compelling without saying a word. The inner calm remained intact right up to the end. Konti watched the unseeing eyes close, and the jaw go slack. Kirk was unconscious.

Shortly thereafter, they turned off the machine and told him he was welcome to the carcass. He waited impatiently while they removed the metal frame, wires, and restraining straps. Konti picked Kirk up and slung his body over his shoulder. He quickly carried him to the flitter with Koh and Khlat following.

xxxx

At home, Konti carried Kirk inside and put him on the bed. Dismissing Khlat, he turned bleakly to Koh.

"Well, you were right. I let him get under my skin and I regret it. But I will kill him cleanly, and I will do it before he wakes up. I owe him that much. Any idea how long?"

"With most, I'd say an hour or two, and some of them never wake up. With Kirk, who knows. You might not have five minutes."

Konti drew his blade and approached the bed. He raised the knife, prepared to plunge it quickly but accurately, to end the life of James T. Kirk. Suddenly he was startled by a voice.

"You might want to reconsider that course of action."

"Koh, did you say what I think you said?"

"I didn't say anything."

"I must be imagining things then."

Konti raised the knife, determined to follow through with his unpleasant chore.

"Kill me if you must, but I'm not sure the Lord will let you."

Shocked, Konti stared at Kirk's face. The knife slipped from nerveless fingers and landed harmlessly on Kirk's belly. Konti made no effort to retrieve it, and Kirk just left it there.

"Koh, he - he's talking! Are you hearing what I'm hearing? It's not possible! No one survives the mindsifter with their mind intact. Have you ever heard of such a thing?"

Konti sat down heavily.

"No I haven't," Koh replied. "It's impossible, unless there's something wrong with the machine." He pulled out his scanner, took readings, and frowned at the results.

"As far as this scanner can tell, there's absolutely nothing wrong with him. But you'd think if there was something wrong with the machine, they'd be screaming for us to bring him back."

Kirk spoke. "There is another possibility, and that's that the machine worked just fine, but the Lord has restored my mind." He picked up the knife, smoothly got to his feet, and presented the knife to Konti, hilt first. Konti was still in a daze, and sheathed the knife without really being aware of what he was doing.

"'The Lord' as in, your God?"

"My memory of the experience leads me to believe the machine was working."

"Describe what you felt," Koh demanded.

"It was a different kind of pain than what I've felt these last two weeks. There's no physical component to it, yet it seems to fill your entire being. I was conscious and aware much longer than I expected to be. The machine takes your most recent memories first. The unsettling part about it is being aware of what is happening to you, while no longer being able to remember why.

"The effects are cumulative, so it becomes more and more intolerable as the machine cuts deeper. I lost consciousness somewhere around age four or five, I think. Just as well that I didn't have to try and deal with it using an age two or three mind."

"I have trouble believing a four-year-old mind could deal with it," Koh scoffed.

"You were calm and relaxed right up to the end. I watched you," Konti admitted.

Kirk smiled. "That was the Lord's doing. Before we even got there, I asked Him to show you His peace. Left to myself, I'm sure I would have been screaming and climbing the walls."

"They expected you to, and thought the machine was broken when you didn't. But if the machine isn't broken, then they got their data, and will assume you are now dead. So what do I do with you?" Konti rose and stepped to the window.

"I can think of several possibilities. You could kill me, as you were about to do. You could lock me up in whatever passes for a dungeon around here. You could give me to Koh to experiment on." He flashed Koh a grin. "You could put me to work. You must have something I could do.

"But consider this. What will happen when Korn finds out I'm alive? Or any of that crowd from the Assembly? It can't be kept a secret very long. It would probably be best to call Korn now and tell him, rather than wait for him to find out."

Konti turned to face Kirk. "Best for me undoubtedly, but for you? What do you think he'll do about it?"

"Well, I happen to know he didn't get any useful information out of the mindsifter. So if he finds out I'm alive, it would be logical for him to try again."

"Yet you're suggesting I call and tell him? Why? You can't be wanting to go through that again." Konti strode into the main room as if wanting to get some distance.

At Koh's gesture, Kirk followed Konti, with Koh trailing him. "I'd be lying if I said I was thrilled about the idea. But neither am I terrified, any more than I was the first time. Nothing's changed, except that I know what to expect."

Konti faced him belligerently. "You expect your God to save you a second time?"

"Maybe. I expect Him to do what is best. I do not necessarily expect to know what that is in advance. Permission to ask you a question?"

"Granted." Konti folded his arms across his chest.

"You were going to kill me before I woke up. Was that for your benefit or mine?"

"For yours. No one should have to live without a mind."

"I would like you to allow me to wake up before you kill me. I want you to see that the peace of the Lord is not dependent on my mind. After you've looked into my eyes and observed my emotional condition, you can go ahead and kill me. I won't know what you're doing or why, but it doesn't matter. Will you do this?"

Konti took two steps and looked searchingly into Kirk's eyes.

"Are you still blind?"

"No. What does that have to do with it?"

"I can't tell by looking at you. You would choose to be conscious yet mindless when I kill you, just so that I can look into your eyes one more time? I don't understand what I see there now, so of what use would it be to look into mindless eyes?" Konti raised his brows in blatant disbelief.

"Is what you see now different from what you saw before?"

"No, I can't describe it, but I think it's the same."

"So even though you don't understand it, you still recognize it. That's good enough for me."

"I'm making no promises."

Kirk smiled and pressed no further.

Konti called Korn, who was first disbelieving, then shocked, then angry. He ordered a complete overhaul of the mindsifter - which would take approximately a week, after which Konti would please bring Kirk back.

"So, you have a one week reprieve. And I'm back to my first question. What am I going to do with you?" Konti was back to a belligerent stance, but it appeared to be a genuine question.

"What would you like to do? Killing's out for the moment anyway. That leaves the dungeon, which would be boring but safe. Or Koh's experiments, which would be anything but boring. Or put me to work. Do you have other slaves? Have you got any jobs no one wants to do? Or here's a novel idea: I could be your personal slave, waiting on you, providing for every comfort and desire."

"I've never had a personal slave." Konti cracked his knuckles and rocked back on his heels.

Kirk laughed. "Well, I've never been one, so we're even. But seriously, we could try it, and if it doesn't work, there's always the dungeon."

"Why are you always so cheerful? I have trouble envisioning the great and mighty James T. Kirk as a groveling slave."

Kirk dropped to his knees. "But if I could, that would make you even greater, as the master over the mighty Kirk. Please, let me try." The grin on his face made it a joke.

"Why do you want to make me greater? And you and I both know the only one who has mastery over you is you."

Kirk's grin disappeared. He wanted Konti to take this as a serious request. "We don't have to tell anyone, and if I'm successful, they won't know. In fact, you won't be able to tell either."

"No, I don't want you to hide from me. One of the things I like about you is your straight-forward honesty. If this ceases to be a game to you, I want to know it."

Koh cleared his throat.

"You object, Koh?" Konti's voice held mockery.

"You're digging the hole deeper."

"How much more can I regret it?" Konti absently rubbed his thumb across his fingertips.

"A lot."

"Let's just say I'm looking for healing from old wounds, and I'm willing to put up with a new one in the process."

"It's your funeral. I'll be around to pick up the pieces."

"You always have been, Koh, and I'm grateful."

xxxx

Kirk and Konti played the game all week long. Kirk learned how to bathe Konti, give him a massage, shave him and fix his hair. He learned how to care for his clothing, fix and serve his meals, and clean his home. Kirk learned fast, never needed instruction more than once. He genuinely tried to please, and was a diligent worker. He actively practiced a servant's demeanor, altering his posture and mannerisms, keeping his eyes downcast, and never speaking unless in reply to a question.

The acid test each day was the afternoon outing. Konti actively sought ways to humiliate Kirk. Gathering a crowd, he spoke insult after insult, belittling Kirk's manhood, his courage, his intelligence, his parentage, his morals, his Federation, and anything else he could think of. He illustrated each point by insisting that Kirk do the most ridiculous things. Some of it was funny, some truly difficult, some merely disgusting. All of it was designed to make Kirk look foolish.

The crowd loved it and laughed uproariously. Kirk tried hard to keep a straight face, and was glad he had practiced the downcast face. If anyone had seen the look in his eyes, it would have been a dead giveaway. And to laugh aloud would have ruined the entire show. Kirk wondered how professional clowns managed it.

xxxx

The first full day was drawing to a close. Kirk had bathed Konti and given him a thorough massage. Suddenly Konti sat up on the bed.

"Sit down." Kirk sat on the floor.

"Look at me." Kirk raised his eyes as far as Konti's feet, which were cross-legged on the bed.

"I want to see into your eyes." Kirk brought his gaze up to look into Konti's eyes.

"Shed the slave demeanor and talk to me."

Kirk suppressed a smile and asked mildly, "What would you like to know?"

"Tell me what you felt today. Your performance was superb. I am truly impressed."

"I am glad my work pleases you."

"Well it does, but that's not what I meant. And stop talking like a slave. I want to know what you really think." Konti was genuinely curious.

"I truly am glad. Also grateful that you trust me enough to let me do this." Wanting to be completely honest, Kirk took a moment to think. "As to how I felt: joyful, content, curious. I am tired now, but it's a good tired. I like to work."

"What about this afternoon?"

"That was hysterically funny. It was all I could do to avoid laughing out loud."

"You thought it was funny?!"

"Sure. Didn't you? The crowd certainly did."

"You were supposed to be highly offended, exerting all your willpower to maintain the slave demeanor and force yourself to meekly do whatever I told you to. No self-respecting Klingon would have put up with it."

"The whole idea was to prove that I'm not a self-respecting Klingon, but a cowardly slave unwilling to defend his honor."

"You think it funny to be thought a coward?"

"No, but it doesn't bother me either. The only part about it that bothered me was the insults to the Federation. And I just chalked that up to ignorance."

"Why doesn't it bother you?"

"I have no need to defend my reputation. God knows whether I am a coward. My only concern is what you think of Him, and He is well-able to defend His reputation."

"I still don't understand why it's funny."

"Imagine you're one of the crowd of watchers. I've just been told to stand on my head in the mud. It's slippery underfoot, so it takes me several tries to manage it, by which time, I'm pretty well covered with mud. But I've kept it out of my face. Then the master purposely knocks me over, so that I land face-down in the mud." Kirk half-pantomimed the scene without getting up.

"You could have avoided it."

Kirk grinned. "Yes, but that wouldn't have been nearly as funny."

Konti just stared at Kirk. "You did it on purpose, to make them laugh at you?! I don't understand you."

"You're not thinking like one of the crowd. If you can see what they saw, then you will understand why it is funny."

But Konti couldn't. "Why do you want to be laughed at?"

"I like laughter. It's good for the soul. And I'm just as willing to laugh at me as anything else, possibly more so. I don't have to worry about offending anyone."