My mother (7 months pregnant with me) and my Dad were walking in the woods one day, (oh btw my Dad is dead now, but this is in "humor" not "depressing" so I won't go in to detail on that) and they saw a plant, Katniss, and they though, "What a perfect name!". However when I was born I turned out to be a massive baby and I had temper tantrums about not having a name with a "f" sound in it (I was weird back then ok) and so Mom thought, "I'll change it to Fatniss! How splendid!" So I have all rights to hate my mother.
Meanwhile I was standing there with Puffy, while she was clearly making fun of my name! So I thought of a genius reply and thought I'd say it aloud.
"Well, it's a long story. But you clearly have no right to be complimenting me on my eccentric name when you have such a fabulous and extravagant name, Puffy Tinkle! I am so jealous!"
I was using big words, not in my vocabulary of words such as "duh", "dunno" and "lol" (though lol is not technically a word). She gave me, a deep, hard glare, ooh, drama, the audience is going to LOVE this.
"Anyways," she says, in order to not get to caught up with me publicly insulting her, "boys next!" She took out a slip of paper and read, "Feta Meparkey!"
As we walked through the crowds, I thought, hell, that's a man right there! If he so much takes his shirt off I'll melt! He is wearing a blue shirt and white trousers. He has sandy blond hair and dark, daring brown eyes. Suddenly I recognise him, he's the one who owns the cheese store, the one which I always look into and smell the luring aura of the inside. The name Feta is just as bad as mine, I love it! He looks up at me as he's walking, this was my chance! I batted my eyelashes furiously, as if to say, notice me! And then, to my disappointment, he looked away. Are you kidding me? He could have at least flirted back, rude.
Stupid Puffy doesn't even realise what's going on as he steps on stage. She is just her usual, delightful and annoying self.
"Splendid!" she says. "Now let's welcome to the stage, the one of our two victors from this district who is alive, Heybich!"
"What did you just call me?" Heybich booms from behind.
She facepalms. "Sorry, I mispronounced it an added a "t" but really COULD YOU JUST COME ON UP, WE HAVE A LIMITED AMOUNT OF TIME ON TV!"
Now he comes on. I expected a handsome knight, no, prince with shining armour with short brown hair, deep blue eyes... and single. Single was the most important one. But instead came out this big, fat, drunk dude, (he was even holding a bottle of champagne as we speak). The appearance on his face told me he was definitely single, only I wasn't too worried about that anymore.
"Ah, nice new contestants, how old are you?" he points to me, in his drunk daydream world, he probably doesn't even realise that it is rude to point at people.
"I am sixteen." I say bluntly. A lot of people say I act way younger than the typical sixteen year old, but they're just saying that to make me act immature.
"You look no older than thirteen!" he laughs, and wins some other laughs from the audience.
I frown, everyone is trying to embarrass me today. First Puffy, then hot dude *cough* Feta, and now Heybich. That sucks, I already have people to fight against before I even enter the damn arena.
We are then brought to a giant building in the Capeetol, where all people who were chosen will be staying. They take me into a fancy room, and honestly, it's luxury. There's a queen-sized bed, a red-velvet rug, and a freeeeee box of chocolates, I love it!
They tell us to get some sleep, but I am not tired, so I lie with my eyes open like a creepy stalker person all night. I do this until Puffy asks me to get up, (one step ahead of ya Puffy) and go onto the next stage, the parade, where all triboots dress up and walk a mile, and the crowd either boos or cheers. She says I'll love my stylist.
But Puffy would like people who were like her.
Some one from high standards and dressed up so much they looked like a dumpster from art class.
Oh dear.