Chapter 16
Konti refused to take the leash, even though Kirk thought it unwise. He left Khlat at home as well, and drove the flitter himself. Side by side, they walked into Headquarters. But they got no farther than the door. The guard was adamant.
"I know who you are. I even know who he is, but he's not coming in here unrestrained."
"He's my slave. I take full responsibility."
"That's fine, but you're not bringing him in here."
"I have an appointment with Korn. He does not like to be kept waiting. And Kirk is coming with me."
"Not without restraints."
They stared at each other for a long moment, neither willing to concede. Kirk stood quietly, not really caring who won the argument. Abruptly Konti turned to Kirk.
"Go wait in the flitter. I'll be back."
Konti glared at the guard, as if daring him to object. So Kirk left and walked calmly back to the flitter, expecting any moment to be challenged, at the very least. But no one raised the alarm. The flitter's computer recognized him and permitted his entrance.
Kirk gazed at the controls. He had some sense that he knew how to fly one of these. In a crisis, he would try, and maybe the skill would be there, even though his mind had no memory of it. But today he had no intentions of going anywhere. So he relaxed in the seat, content to wait, glad to rest his injured ribs.
About five minutes later, the guard knocked on the flitter window.
"I have instructions that you are to come in now."
The guard turned and went back into the building without waiting for Kirk. After securing the flitter, Kirk reentered the building, and spoke to the guard.
"Who gave you these instructions?"
"Korn. Listen carefully. I will only say this once." And he gave detailed directions to Korn's office.
Kirk thanked him and strode down the corridor as if he had every right to be there. No one stopped him. In due course, he arrived at Korn's office, where he was ushered directly in to see him.
Konti stood up when he entered, gave him a brief grin, and nodded at where Kirk was to stand. Sitting down again, he resumed his conversation with Korn.
"I'm impressed, Konti, but I still wouldn't have staked my life on what Kirk would do. Now, what did you want to tell me about?"
Konti told Korn what he and Kirk had been doing the past week, including the visit to the club, the dinner party, and Kadat's visit that morning. He did not explain Kirk's behavior, or his own either, but merely reported it.
"Fascinating. I'm glad you told me, but I'm afraid it won't save him from the mindsifter."
"I didn't expect it to. Nor does he expect it." Konti nodded in Kirk's direction without looking at him.
"You expect me to believe he walked in here voluntarily, knowing he's headed to the mindsifter!?"
"Yes. If you gave him directions, he'd get himself down there, but I want to go with him."
"Konti, remember J'Keth?"
"How could I forget? But this is different, I promise you. Kirk remains steadfast through absolutely anything. Come and see, if you doubt my word."
"All right, I will."
As they departed the office, Kirk had the sudden impression that Korn was Konti's father. But this was no time to inquire. Kirk followed Konti to the basement room that housed the mindsifter. Korn brought up the rear. As they approached, Kirk heard a prolonged scream from within.
They entered the room and stood near the door. Kirk saw what he had been unable to see when he had been here last. The room was large, the equipment enormous. Several guards noticed him immediately, and moved to correct the lack of restraints, but Korn waved them away. The center of attention was the current victim strapped to the chair in the middle of the room.
Her piercing screams filled the room. Her rigid body strained against the straps. Kirk's response was nearly instantaneous, and without advance thought.
"Lord, speak peace to her soul. Take away the fear. Welcome her into Your presence this day."
Immediately she stopped screaming and her body relaxed. The technicians thought she was unconscious even though it was a little too soon. The medic on duty assured them she was not. Panic-stricken, they began checking and rechecking the machine. Then they noticed Kirk. One said he had jinxed the machine; another said he had jinxed the girl; a third said it was all ridiculous, the data didn't lie. Korn put a stop to the chatter and told them to get on with it. He had heard Kirk's prayer. So had Konti.
"She's just an Orion slave girl. Why did you have to do that, Kirk? Now they think the machine's busted again."
"I'm just a human. Konti, I'll scream my head off if you want, so you'll know the machine is working, but I will not deprive her of the peace of the Lord."
Konti stared at Kirk. "You would choose to scream?"
Korn interrupted, "As if he could choose not to!"
"Your choice, Konti. Doesn't matter to me. Either way is fine."
"No. I want it to be real, not an act."
"Oh, it's real enough. Last night was a game. This is a miracle. Don't forget, I know what this feels like. Without the miraculous intervention of God, I will be just as out of control as she was. The question is: do you want to see another miracle, or do you want the subjective proof that the machine is working?"
"If you can do for yourself what you just did for her, then do it."
"Okay, I will ask Him. Just remember, the power does not come from me. It's the power of God working in me."
They were finished with the girl and ready for Kirk. The guards approached, but Korn waved them away. Because of his ribs, Kirk was just as happy not to be man-handled. Calmly walking to the chair, he climbed into it, took a deep breath, and relaxed his body. Then he began to pray.
Korn divided his attention between Kirk and Konti. Kirk seemed utterly unconcerned. Konti seemed almost to be holding his breath during all the preparation. When they finally cranked up the machine and Kirk remained relaxed and silent, Konti took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.
"Konti, you have really fallen for Kirk. Didn't you learn anything from J'Keth?!"
"Father, I know I've let Kirk get to me, and I'll regret having to kill him. You know, I never really got over J'Keth. So maybe you know how much it means to me, to look into Kirk's eyes while I'm branding him, and know that he doesn't hate me. I will never forget him," Konti declared fervently.
"Konti, this may bother you, but I've got to keep him here til he wakes up. I must know that the machine did its job. After that, you can take him home and kill him in private if you wish."
"Of course, that's the obvious solution. I don't mind."
At that moment, Koh walked in, pushing a stretcher in front of him.
"Sorry I'm late. The guard didn't want me to bring the stretcher in here. Kirk's got three cracked ribs, and if you carry him out of here the way you did last week, I'm afraid you'll puncture a lung. So what's happening?"
"Kirk's doing the same thing he did last week. Look."
They lapsed into silence, all watching Kirk. Some five minutes later, to Konti's surprise, they turned off the machine and started to remove the wires.
"Koh, am I imagining it, or is Kirk still conscious? It looks like his eyes are open."
Koh pulled out his med-scanner, and approached Kirk. Konti and Korn followed. Koh conferred with the medic on duty and they agreed that yes, Kirk was conscious. In fact, he had never lost consciousness. Konti couldn't really see into Kirk's eyes, because the angle was wrong. Kirk whimpered as they transferred him from the chair to the stretcher. Konti turned to Korn.
"Well, are you satisfied? Can I take him out of here now?"
Korn was thoughtful. "From what you've told me, Kirk is capable of faking all the evidence I see."
Konti didn't think he was, but admitted reluctantly that yes, he could.
"In that case, I'm going to have to ask you to keep him alive for seven days. I'll stop in to see him once a day, but I'm not telling you what time, and it won't be the same every day. And Koh, no drugs. And we'll just see if he's faking."
Kirk was silent all the way home. They rolled the stretcher into the back room.
"Now what do we do?" Konti complained.
"Well, as I see it, you've got a couple of options. I can put in an IV and a catheter. You can keep him strapped down. Minimum maintenance. You can basically ignore him." Koh was busily checking Kirk's condition, which he'd already done twice.
Konti ignored Koh's fussing, knowing it was normal. "What's the other option?"
"No straps. No medical equipment. You close and lock the door, and clean up the mess next week."
"I don't like either of those options. Haven't you got any better ideas?"
"The only other idea I have would entail a great deal of work, and I have no idea what success you might have. You see, there's nothing wrong with Kirk's brain. And apart from the cracked ribs and various skin abrasions, his body's in working order too. He simply doesn't remember anything, including how to walk, talk, eat, bathe - everything." Koh paused, almost unwilling to voice the idea. "You could try to teach him." He quickly turned back to the stretcher, looking for something else to check.
Konti simply nodded. "How do I start?"
Koh stared for a moment, his hands briefly stilled. "If you're serious, I'll get you a tape on child development. And if you don't mind, I'd like to get the whole thing on camera for future study."
"Sure. Go ahead."
Koh departed and Konti moved to Kirk's side to get his first long look into Kirk's eyes. He stared for several long minutes. Kirk stared back.
"Well, Kirk, you were right. That same inexplicable something for which I have no word is still in your eyes. I don't see how it could be, since you don't even know who I am. Doubtless you would call it another miracle. So was staying conscious all the way through it. Father was not pleased. He doesn't like the fact that I've let you get to me either. Anyway, watching you endure this mental state for seven days is punishment enough. And he does have a point. You're too good an actor for your own good.
"You get your wish about not being in a hurry, though I doubt that you had seven days in mind. But I can just hear you now. You'd laugh and say, 'Sure. I don't mind.' And the thing is, you really don't object. You never object to anything we do to you. I wish I knew your secret. I know you've tried to tell me, but it doesn't make any sense."
Konti paced between the stretcher and the door, not at all comfortable with his own involvement in this affair.
"Now that it's over, I realize just how much I've enjoyed this past week. Is it treason to like a human as much as I like you? No, I don't think so, as long as I don't let it interfere with my duty. And I won't. I learned that lesson a long time ago. Koh thinks I'm a fool to let myself like you. So does Father. But you know what's funny? Koh likes you too, and it's not just medical interest, though there's that aspect of it too. You'll be the subject of several research papers, I'm guessing." He absently rubbed his thumb along his fingertips.
"Koh didn't say how long he'd be gone. I have no idea what to do with you. Teach you to eat, walk, talk - where do I begin?! But I promise you this, Kirk: I will not abandon you to suffer alone for seven days. No drugs, Father said. That means, you have to endure every long hour of it. I've heard that babies sleep a lot. Maybe you can sleep through most of it. Knowing you though, I doubt it.
"I wonder if your personality is gone too. That which makes you who you are - if you've lost all memory of the experiences that shaped you, is your character a blank slate, just like your mind?"
Konti rambled on for over an hour. Kirk's attention was riveted on Konti's face, but there was no sign that he understood a word of it. But neither did he move, make a sound, or lose interest. Finally Konti gave up waiting for Koh.
He removed the restraining straps and pulled Kirk into a sitting position. Kirk yelped in pain. Konti let go. Kirk fell back onto the stretcher.
At this moment, Koh walked in. "Sorry that took so long. I was hoping you'd wait til I got here. I want the whole thing on camera. What have I missed?"
"I just pulled him up, but I forgot about the ribs. I'm afraid I've hurt him."
Kirk was again silent, watching intently. Koh pulled out his med-scanner and reported.
"No, the ribs are no worse. See this big bruise on his side? Kadat kicked him. The three cracked ribs are here, here, and here." He touched Kirk in each spot, but got no reaction. "That's odd. Didn't I hear him yell when you picked him up?"
"Yes. That's why I dropped him."
"Interesting. Anyway, if you handle him on the left side only, it should be safe enough. Mind you, it'll still hurt every time he moves, but you won't make it worse."
Konti had been looking into Kirk's eyes.
"Look at his eyes. I think he's trying to tell me something. It seems like he's pleading. Do you think he wants me to make it stop hurting? Korn said no drugs. That includes pain-killers, doesn't it?"
"Was Kirk asking for pain-killers this morning?" Koh asked sarcastically.
"Of course not."
"Does he look or sound like he's in pain?"
Konti shook his head. "Well, he's not hiding it quite as well as usual, but no, not really."
"Then I don't think he's asking for pain-killers. Think like Kirk does. What just happened? What does he want you to do now?"
"What do you mean? Kirk can't think. How can he have decided what he wants me to do?"
"He can't think in words, because he doesn't have language. But he can think, and he most definitely has a functioning decider. So think like Kirk. You're going to have to get good at it." Koh was finished rechecking Kirk's condition and had moved on to setting up his camera.
So Konti did, as he stared into Kirk's pleading eyes.
"I think he wants me to try again. He's taken this one incident, the only data he has, and concluded that the price of mobility is no sign of pain. He hopes I will give him a second chance. And I will, but I have no idea how to do this."
"Neither does he, and there aren't any books for this situation. I'll write one after the two of you figure it out."
Konti reached for Kirk and saw the pleading look be replaced by eagerness. Satisfied that he had guessed right, Konti pulled Kirk into a sitting position. Konti tried to hold him up with one hand and swing his legs over the side with the other. He lost hold of Kirk, who fell head over heels on the far side of the stretcher, and landed in a heap on the floor. Konti winced in sympathy, but no sound came from Kirk. Konti picked him up and laid him back on the stretcher.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Konti looked into Kirk's eyes and answered his own question. "Yes, you do. Okay, here we go again."
After half an hour of continuous effort, replete with numerous falls, Konti finally had Kirk in an upright position. But Kirk could not stand unaided, much less take a step. After Konti dragged him around the room in a circle, he returned Kirk to the stretcher. Kirk seemed satisfied and content to rest, so Konti and Koh moved to the main room for a meal. Koh showed Konti the material on child development he'd brought.
"This is of limited usefulness, because Kirk is not a child. He doesn't need any more sleep than you or I. His muscles and digestive system are already fully developed. So's his personality. Probably the most helpful thing in this material is the stages of development, the sequence. A child learns to walk before he talks. Doesn't mean you shouldn't talk to him. But don't expect him to try to talk before he can walk.
"Your first big job is potty training. But don't expect to get much helpful advice from here. I expect him to grasp the concept immediately. Your problem will be communicating the need and getting him to the commode. Then there's feeding him. He certainly doesn't need an all-liquid diet. But I don't expect him to be able to feed himself."
Suddenly they heard a heavy thud from the back room. Rushing in, they found Kirk face down on the floor. Konti picked him up and laid him back on the stretcher.
"If he's going to fall out, you'd better secure him with the straps."
"No." Konti was vehement. "No restraints."
"Then I'd better lower the stretcher, so he won't have so far to fall the next time."
And he did, but it was still over a foot off the floor.
"You think there will be a next time? He's had enough falls for one day."
"Don't tell me you think this was accidental? He probably considers it a major accomplishment. And it is. The only way he could have fallen out is to turn himself over. An infant can't do that until he's several months old. So yes, he will try it again."
And he did. Twenty minutes later they heard him fall again. Konti put him back in bed.
"You'll be up all night if you keep putting him back in bed. I wish I could stay to watch, but I have to go. See you tomorrow."
"Good night, Koh, and thanks."
Konti watched Kirk do it again. He rocked from side to side until he had sufficient momentum to carry him all the way over. Konti didn't want to contemplate what Kirk's ribs must feel like. He decided to watch to see what Kirk would do if left on the floor.
For several moments, Kirk did nothing. Hearing no sound of approaching footsteps, he set about working toward his next goal, that of rolling over from front to back. He spent the better part of an hour rolling back and forth across the room, perfecting his technique. In due course, he ended up at Konti's feet. He stooped to talk to Kirk.
"Yes, I've been watching you. You're getting very good at it. But I don't understand what drives you. Those ribs have to be hurting badly, yet you neither stop nor make a sound. You don't have to learn to walk in one night. The job will still be here tomorrow.
"It just occurs to me that this is the time of day you normally eat. I wonder if you think I'm not going to feed you. No, you wouldn't have any basis for that conclusion, at least not yet. A baby cries when it's hungry; you suffer in silence. Why? So many questions that you can't answer. I'll be back in a few minutes with your supper."
Konti propped Kirk up against the wall in the corner of the room so he wouldn't fall over. Then he tried to feed him bread, soup, pudding, and water. Kirk hadn't the first idea how to go about eating. Fortunately swallowing was more or less automatic. Konti had no better idea how to spoon-feed than Kirk did, so together they managed to make quite a mess. Konti cleaned up as best he could with water and a towel.
"Bath in the morning. Now it's time for bed."
He picked Kirk up and deposited him on the stretcher.
"Now stay there. I'm going to bed, and you need some sleep."
He illustrated his words with gestures and hoped Kirk got the idea. He left and turned out the light. After spending about an hour going through the material Koh had brought, Konti went to bed. He had not heard any tell-tale thuds from the back room so he hoped Kirk was sleeping.
Konti rose early and went to check on Kirk. The smell assailed him as soon as he opened the door. He had forgotten to take Kirk to the bathroom the night before. He turned on the light and discovered Kirk was not on the bed. He was on the floor in the far corner, curled up in a fetal position. In another corner he had deposited what should have gone in the commode.
Konti picked Kirk up and carried him to the bathroom. After giving him a thorough bath, he propped Kirk in a corner of the bathroom and went to clean up the mess.
At this moment Korn walked in.
"He's in the bathroom, but if you need evidence, I'm cleaning up the results of last night."
"Yes, I see. I smell too. Why did you feed him?"
"Because I thought he was hungry. I would feed a dog too, if I had one."
"Hmm- touchy this morning. Didn't sleep well?"
"Actually I slept very well - too well. I didn't hear this at all."
It took Konti three days to conquer the potty problem. They spent most of the first day in the bathroom. Konti poured as much water into Kirk as he could manage. Every hour they practiced using the commode, but Konti had to hold Kirk up. He could neither sit nor stand.
At bedtime, he gave Kirk another meal. In the morning, he found the same results as before. Konti was discouraged, but what he saw in Kirk's eyes was fear.
"What are you afraid of? Me? Why?"
Konti followed the same routine as the day before, except he didn't give Kirk any water, and only took him to the bathroom every two hours. They spent the bulk of the day learning to sit unassisted. After Konti figured out how to explain by illustration what muscles were and what they did, learning to sit became relatively easy.
Kirk extrapolated to a more purposeful use of arms and legs as well. At bedtime, Konti let him roll around on the floor for two hours. By the end of that time, Kirk was well on the way towards crawling. And the look of fear had disappeared from his eyes. Konti took him to the bathroom one more time and put him to bed. It had been 24 hours since Kirk had had anything to eat or drink. Konti hoped for a clean room in the morning.
The next morning, Konti walked into a room that didn't smell. Further, Kirk was still on the bed. Instead of being curled up in a ball, he was stretched out on his back, more relaxed than Konti had seen him for days. Thinking him still asleep, Konti approached quietly. Kirk heard him and opened his eyes. The fear had been replaced by a deep satisfaction. Konti was pleased.
He gave Kirk a meal, followed by successful use of the commode. That afternoon Kirk learned to crawl, and by bedtime was pulling himself into a standing position.
Konti declared potty training was complete. Kirk could get himself to and from the bathroom and use the facilities without assistance. Therefore he could sleep where he liked. Kirk chose the same corner of floor in Konti's room that he had chosen when he first arrived. The next day Konti told Koh they were done with the stretcher, so Koh removed it. Kirk never returned to the back room.
The fourth day Kirk walked holding onto the wall. The fifth day he took his first steps unassisted. Konti began to think about the end of the week. He was reasonably sure Korn was convinced that this was no act, but of course, he wouldn't say so. But what then? He had intended to kill Kirk as soon as Korn would let him. But now? Kirk's mind was definitely no longer a blank slate.
But if he didn't kill him, what would he do with him? He would be called back to active duty as soon as they were done with the Kirk question. A starship was no place for Kirk in his present condition, even though that condition changed daily.
Konti marveled at the rate Kirk learned. He pursued his chosen objective with single-minded focus, driving himself relentlessly until he accomplished his goal. Once achieved, he might practice that skill for an hour, but then move on to a new objective. He worked himself all day and often late into the night. Konti continued to talk to him, because Koh said the more he heard, the faster he would learn the language. But for most of it, Kirk was basically teaching himself, with little help from Konti.
The sixth day Kirk decided he would feed himself, or not eat. It took him two hours of slow, painstaking labor, but in the end he managed it. That afternoon, Konti taught Kirk to kneel. He dreaded the branding next morning, but he was stuck with it. Korn had made it quite clear he would make no decision until tomorrow afternoon.
That evening Konti tried to explain it to Kirk. He brought out the branding iron and explained what it was. He turned it on and let Kirk feel the heat it generated. He placed Kirk's fingers on the brand itself. He thought Kirk got the connection, but he couldn't be sure. Koh stopped in briefly later that night, and Konti shared his fears about the morning.
"It's just not fair! Kirk's mental development is that of a young child. And this is the worst one of the whole sequence. You know that! More slaves lose it on this day than any other."
The monthly series was four times as long as the weekly branding was. And the first one followed right on the heels of the weeklies, when the wound was still very fresh. Of course all of Kirk's had been longer than strictly necessary, but that had been before he'd lost his mind.
"Would you rather have him branded a child for the next twelve years?"
"No, of course not."
"Well, he's either an adult or a child. If he's an adult, he has to face it as an adult. Unless you decide to kill him first."
"I can't. Korn won't let me. And he'll be here to watch the branding. Koh, I'd like it if you came too."
"I'd be glad to." He paused. "You wanna tell me what's really bothering you about the whole thing?"
Konti sighed and looked over at Kirk, who was sitting on the floor playing with his hands. Which is to say, he was practicing fine motor coordination. Konti guessed that Kirk might be able to pick up the branding case and carry it, but he was not going to risk it. That was not strictly necessary.
"Koh, I hardly know myself. I guess it's fear that he will hate me. I can hardly hope for any other response. He can't possibly understand. And when he hates me, I will despise myself, just like with J'Keth. But that will not make it any easier to kill him. You would think, with all I've had to do for him this week, that I'd be glad to be rid of him. But it's not so.
"Koh, I can't think of him as an enemy. Nor a slave either, for that matter. I don't know what I think of him. I only know I don't want to kill him." Konti raised bleak eyes to get Koh's reaction to his weakness.
"What did he say about it?"
"He hasn't said anything at all. I can't tell how much he understands."
"No, I mean before this week. He knew you would kill him. Did he talk about it?"
"Yes. He was completely unconcerned. Said it wouldn't matter that he wouldn't understand it. But that was then. Now I look into his eyes, and I see innocent trust. It's these eyes I do not want to betray."
"Konti, Kirk is not a child. Does he cry in pain, hunger, or fear? No. Does he wait for you to direct his learning? No. That's an adult personality he's got, trapped inside a child's abilities. And he's correcting the deficiency just as fast as he can force himself to work at it. I wouldn't be at all surprised if his response to the branding is the same as it was the first time. He almost laughed at you, as I recall."
"I'm sure he won't be laughing. He hasn't cracked a smile all week. In fact the only place I see any emotional reaction is in the eyes. And there's precious little of that."
Koh snorted. "I can tell you why. He's copying you. Have I ever told you that you have the most dead-pan face of anyone I know? Kirk doesn't express emotion because you don't. You're the only example he has."
"Oh. I can't teach him what I can't do. But I miss it. His sense of humor was one of the best parts about last week."