Chapter 18

On the Enterprise, nothing more was said about Kirk. No one forgot, but it was easier not to talk about it. The wound began to heal. McCoy finally gave up expecting Spock to inform him that Jim was dead. Life with Captain Young began to seem normal. Not the same, but normal.

The night before Young's eye surgery, Spock went to Young's quarters, at his request. He had been there once or twice in the previous weeks, but for the most part, he had avoided the place, largely because of the wives. They had occasionally been seen on the Rec Deck, and he had treated them courteously. But he wanted no entanglements or rumors of same, and Gisa was entirely too curious. However, it was Nona who greeted him at the door.

"Mr. Spock, do come in. Please sit down. How may I serve you? Will you take refreshment?"

"No thank you. Captain Young requested that I come to his quarters this evening. If he is not here, I will come at another time."

At this point Gisa walked into the room. "Who is here, Nona? I heard you speaking. Oh- Mr. Spock, what an unexpected pleasure!"

Nona ignored Gisa's enthusiasm and responded with quiet poise. "Husband is not here, Mr. Spock, but we expect him shortly. I'm sure he would be pleased if you would wait. Meanwhile, how may we serve you? You have only to name your desires, and your wishes will be granted."

"What sort of desires do you expect me to have?"

"Your privileged guest status entitles you to anything within our power to give. There are no limits."

"Does that invitation extend to information?"

"What would you like to know?" Gisa's inquiry held a hint of nervous tension, which made it clear that she knew something she didn't want to divulge.

Keeping his tone mild, Spock asked what he hoped was an innocuous question. "Mere curiosity on my part. I wondered how often you had been guests at a reception such as the one held the day you arrived. You seemed to handle the crowds with ease."

Gisa laughed lightly, the nervousness gone from her voice. "I was raised with such skill as part of my education. We both were. It is not unusual in our culture. May I in turn ask you a question? You are under no obligation to answer."

"You may ask. The nature of the question will determine whether I may answer."

"Why do you not ask for material things? Nothing can be denied you."

Nona volunteered, "Husband does not live in poverty. He has considerable that he could give you."

"I do not live in poverty either. Why should I take from him that which I do not need, simply because he has given me the right to do so?"

The ladies pondered this in silence for a moment.

"You are a man of unique character," Gisa finally replied.

"Not unique. I know several aboard this vessel who would have responded the same. There is much more to life than material things."

At this point, Captain Young arrived, with apologies for his tardiness. The ladies retired to the other room, leaving Spock alone with Young.

"I trust my wives kept you occupied while waiting."

"They wondered why I have not taken advantage of my status to rob you of your wealth."

Young chuckled. "And why haven't you?"

"My needs have already been abundantly provided for. I have no need to take your wealth. I did not do for you what I did in expectation of any monetary reward. However, if you have a need to give me something, that is a different matter entirely."

"No monetary gift could repay what you have done for me."

"No payment is required. I would do it again with no regrets."

"No regrets? Not even the death of Captain Kirk?"

"Why do you say he is dead? Have you a report of which I am unaware?" Spock's quiet inquiry betrayed no concern.

"No, I have heard nothing. Not even rumors. I simply assumed he could not have survived this long."

A minute relaxation of tense muscles gave away his relief. "Captain, I do not believe Jim is dead. I would have sensed it. Somehow, he still lives."

"Spock, Jim Kirk is your best friend, right?"

"Yes."

"As long as you believe him still alive, how can you be my friend? Or I yours?"

"The two are not mutually exclusive. My soul is big enough for more than one friendship."

"Spock, why don't you view me as an enemy? I am part of those that banished and maybe killed your best friend. Have you no loyalty to him?"

"You are no more responsible for his banishment than I, possibly less so. It was I who refused to testify on his behalf. It was I who restored you to functioning, so he was required to leave the ship as per original orders."

"Both of those things he wanted you to do."

"Yes."

Spock refused to defend the character of his relationship with Jim Kirk. Silence reigned for a moment. Then Young abruptly changed the subject.

"I asked you to come this evening, because there are several things I want to discuss with you. My eye surgery is scheduled for 0700 tomorrow morning. During the surgery and for whatever recovery period is necessary, you will be in command. Do you have a problem with that?"

"None, sir."

"Good. Kirk said he could have left you in command, but he didn't want to. I wondered why not?"

"His reluctance had nothing to do with my ability or willingness to command. Is there anything about our current orders of which I need to be aware?"

"No. It's just routine. Though I understand the ambassador from Madacaye isn't the easiest to get along with."

"Perhaps you will be recovered sufficiently by the time we arrive."

"For your sake, I hope so. But that's the other thing I wish to discuss with you. It's been weeks since you taught me how to deal with pain. I have had no occasion to practice it. I do not know if I can do what you taught me. If I cannot, I do not know how long I will be unconscious."

"I will be glad to assist you. We can review the principles and techniques this evening. However, I know of no way you can practice the skill. Would you like me to link with you during the surgery, as we did before?"

"I would like for that to be unnecessary. But I will bow to your judgment as to the best way to handle this."

"Did Dr. McCoy indicate how long the surgery was likely to take?"

"He wasn't very precise, but we're talking hours not minutes." Young's voice held no apprehension.

"Given your level of experience, it is unlikely that you could maintain control for the hours required, without my assistance. Alternatively, you could practice your skill as long as possible, allowing unconsciousness to overtake you when you are no longer able to control. I cannot predict how that would affect the course of your recovery. However, if it becomes apparent that recovery is being hindered by your inability to deal with the pain, I will link with you and take your pain, as I did before."

"Spock! How can I let you do that again?!"

"Do you forbid it, then?"

"No, but- there must be a limit!"

"There is a limit to the quantity of pain I can tolerate at one time and continue to function. But that should not be a concern, since my own injury no longer hurts."

"Which would be easier for you: to assist me during the surgery, or help me recover afterwards?"

"Neither is difficult. The latter would take less of my time, but I am quite willing to do the former, if you would prefer it. You would then not need any recovery period."

"And you would carry my pain indefinitely? I don't think so. I will take responsibility for my own pain just as fast as you can teach me how. I will do the surgery without you. After that, you can give me lessons in pain management at your leisure when duty permits. If I still haven't recovered by the time we reach Madacaye, I'll give you the choice of whether you'd prefer to deal with my pain, or the ambassador."

"Sir, with all due respect to the ambassador, there will be no contest. You are clearly a better diplomat than I."

xxxx

The surgery lasted seven hours. McCoy was naturally exhausted. Spock kept his inquiries brief.

"Honestly, Spock, I don't know. As far as I can tell, the surgery was successful, but I won't really know until he wakes up and tries to use the eyes."

"And when would be the optimum time for that to occur?"

"Meaning you plan to wake him the same way you did the last time?"

"I do not expect it to take as long."

"No, I don't suppose it will." McCoy sighed. "He's a good student, Spock. He lasted over twenty minutes. No human would have lasted more than seconds." Except maybe Jim, he thought, but didn't say. "I need some sleep. If things get worse tonight, I'll call you. Otherwise, we'll see how he looks in the morning."

xxxx

McCoy let Spock in to see Young early the next morning. He was still unconscious; his condition stable. Gisa and Nona were there, as before.

"Good morning, ladies. With your permission, I will wake the Captain."

Spock sat down, readied himself, and placed his fingers on Young's bandaged face. The pain hit him like a sledge hammer. He yielded to it, drawing the pain into himself. He began searching through the haze for the core of Young's mind. He found him huddled in emotional misery.

*Spock! How can you stand it? I feel like such a failure! It was worse than I remembered. I only lasted a few minutes. And once I was buried under this blanket of pain, it was hopeless. So teach me. What do I do now?*

*You need to rest. I will return in a few hours.*

Spock withdrew, taking all of Young's pain with him. Young slept soundly until noon, when Spock returned. McCoy announced the eyes were looking good, but he wanted to give them another day of rest before taking off the bandages. Spock assisted Young in practicing pain management for some two hours. When he would have taken all Young's pain once more, Young objected.

"Spock, no. You have work to do. Dr. McCoy's not going to let me out of here today anyway. Better you give it back to me, than have us both be non-functional."

"Very well, Captain. As you wish."

Spock returned the pain to Young, who immediately lapsed into unconsciousness. The same scenario was repeated that evening. Spock would have kept the pain all night, so that Young could rest, but Young wouldn't let him. The next morning they discovered that the pain was multiplied if Young tried to use the eyes. And it was no better the next day. They held a conference with McCoy that afternoon.

"Captain, do you realize you're asking for a miracle? I had a dozen eye replacement patients in here last month. Not one of them was out of here in less than two weeks. The idea that you should be completely recovered in two days is just plain ridiculous."

"But Doctor, none of those patients had Spock, and none of them was the Captain. I need to be functional. Spock, how long before we reach Madacaye?"

"At present speed, approximately two hours."

"There is no way I'm letting you out of here in two hours. Spock will just have to handle it without you," McCoy stated unequivocally, daring them to argue.

"I'm sorry, Spock. I expected it to be like the first time. Once you took the pain, it was gone and stayed gone. Physically, I felt fine. Why is this different?"

"There are several differences. On that occasion, your body had already had three days to heal. Also, you did not insist repeatedly on taking it all back. However, the biggest difference is that under these circumstances, you are receiving new pain stimuli every time you open your eyes. Long-term, on-going pain management is a much more complex skill. Perhaps with more time-"

"We don't have more time. So again, I'm going to insist that you give it all back to me. I'm sure you can handle the situation, but you don't need my pain to deal with too. Wake me if you need to. Otherwise, I'll see you when the mission is over."

"Very well, Captain."

xxxx

Three hours later, Spock was back in Sickbay. McCoy saw him arrive and intercepted him en route to Young's bedside.

"Spock! What are you doing back in here? Don't tell me you have to consult with Captain Young!"

"I will not tell you then." Spock's face was impassive.

"Spock! Don't get literal on me now. What's so bad planet-side that you can't handle it without Young? There's nothing he can do about whatever it is anyway."

"Ambassador DuChev clearly thinks otherwise. I have been given no alternatives, Doctor. I must wake the Captain, and he must function, at least for a short time."

"Tell the ambassador it's impossible."

"I cannot. He knows what I can do."

"You told him?!"

"He already knew. Whatever his source, he is well-informed."

"Then tell him I forbid it - doctor's orders."

"Doctor, if Captain Young and I do not appear in the Ambassador's office within the hour, his government will begin slaughtering their people - one hundred every hour until we comply."

McCoy dropped his jaw. "Then I'm coming too."

"That is your prerogative."

xxxx

Sullivan opted to send Chuck as well, so there were four of them gathered on the transporter platform, about forty-five minutes after the Ambassador's ultimatum. Scotty was at the controls. Young was standing, supported by Chuck, his eyes bandaged. Spock was standing unsupported, but McCoy could tell he was having some trouble handling all Young's pain. He had twice had to take more of it, in order to keep Young conscious.

"Spock, I'm tellin' ye, I dinna like this."

"You have your orders, Mr. Scott. Energize."

"Aye, sir."