06 – Part I: [Byun Baekhyun] My Existence

To still be able to stand here next to you. It's great.

The moment the music ended, I felt completely drained. Like a puppet whose strings were suddenly cut.

When stage lights dimmed, I felt giddy. The sequence for us to exit the stage was choreographed as well – Park Chanyeol and I exited from the right, while Luhan Hyung and the rest from the left.

I stumbled backstage with unstable footsteps and ended up tripping on the messy wires on the floor. My already weak body fell forward.

But it fell into someone's embrace.

Before I could react to the temperature of the embrace, I was pushed to the ground all of a sudden. I let out huff in pain, and looked up.

"Can you stop acting like a fucking bitch in front of me."

Who else could it be, apart from Park Chanyeol.

"…Sorry…"

Maybe if I fell straight onto the floor after tripping amongst the wires, it would have felt better than being pushed away and landing in such a uncomfortable situation.

"And," He looked at me from above like a god, "It was because the dance instructor wasn't there just now, that's why I had to send you to the hospital."

- - I know.

"Don't think that your tactics can move me."

- - I know it all.

But can't you lie to me?

I struggled to stand up, but ended up falling to the floor again. Just when I was attempting to stand up for the second time, a pair of hands suddenly appeared to pull me up.

"…Luhan Hyung." I called softly, while I raised my hands to wipe off the sweat on my forehead.

Luhan looked at me as it to check if there was anything wrong, and turned around to face Park Chanyeol.

"Don't go overboard. Baekhyun isn't feeling well."

"Luhan, you shouldn't be such a busybody either," Park Chanyeol frowned, "you've been butting in too much recently."

"Ha. What did you say?" Luhan looked at Park Chanyeol ludicrously, "do you not want to live anymore by talking to me like that?"

Sehun tugged at Chanyeol, "Don't be like this, Luhan is older."

"So what if he's older - -"

I panicked, everything was because of me. I immediately held onto Luhan.

"Don't quarrel because of me…please. Stop quarrelling." I turned to Park Chanyeol as I spoke and looked at him pleadingly.

He looked at me coldly, and left a sneer before turning to walk away.

"Quarrel because of you? Save it. Don't think of yourself to be that important."

Sehun chased after him, and threw a glance at me as he past me.

- - The glance that I had always been familiar with, "it's all your fault".

Yes, it's all my fault.

The night is gloomy. Park Chanyeol's even breathing came from the other bed. It was probably because today drained him; he fell asleep early.

But I couldn't fall asleep no matter how hard I tried.

What exactly, is the meaning of my existence.

Since young, my mother would always jokingly tell me that I was an accident. At first I didn't understand, But I did as I grew older, it was because our family wasn't very well-off, and with my brother, my parents didn't want a second child.

Afterwards…when I became a trainee, my family was always against it. At a certain point, they almost wanted to chase me out of the house. Back then I would always console myself, that maybe when they saw my success after debut, they would understand.

So I practiced like crazy, and tried my best to make it down this difficult path. But when I brought home the first trophy for our music broadcast win, I still faced my parent's cold expression.

Then I understood. What they were hoping for was not this career, so even if you succeeded, it wouldn't bother them the least bit.

Afterwards….a person named Park Chanyeol entered my heart.

Afterwards, because of my selfishness, Chanyeol's most beloved girl was chased out of the company, and disappeared in our world.

Afterwards, Park Chanyeol started his revenge.

Afterwards….

So I always think, what is the meaning of my existence?

- - Maybe if I were never born, that would have been the perfect thing.

06 – Part II: [Park Chanyeol] Christmas Night

Late winter.

"Merry Christmas!"

Everywhere was filled with the warm atmosphere of Christmas as I walked down the streets. Workers were dressed up in Santa Claus costumes as they stood in front of the store, Christmas trees were hung with tiny gift boxes and yesterday's snow, while the snowmen tried their best to smile before they melt as they stood by the streets.

Of course, we weren't appearing on the streets for a stroll.

"From now – Mission start!"

Because there were VJs, PDs, staffs, and the MC with us as well.

"Remember, don't let each other find out that you're the one buying the gift for them!"

The five of us put out our hands together and shouted "fighting" before going separate ways. The VJ in charge of filming me followed along, and asked, "Have you thought on what to buy?"

"Nope," I smiled at the camera, "but I will get some inspirations as I walk around."

I walked forward after I finished speaking and retrieved a piece of paper from my shirt pocket, eyeing the name written on it.

- - Byun Baek Hyun.

Ha, God really does know how to give me problems.

"What does Baekhyun like?"

How would I know.

"Um…something cute, or something delicate." I made up. No matter what, he probably wouldn't like anything that I get him.

I was in a terrible mood, but if I didn't say something, my section would be edited out completely.

"Ahhh what should I buy? Didn't we win a lot of money from the game earlier." I waved the envelope in front of the camera, it was the money that the show producers had given us. "Baekhyun-ah, just you wait, I'll get you a super cool gift."

Even I was disgusted by my fake smile.

The street was full of youngsters, in their own clusters, friends or couples holding hands. There were many girls who screamed in happiness after seeing me, and followed after the camera some distance away.

- - How will you spend this day?

Dress up all pretty, and have a blast with your friends?

Or do you have another boy, that you can lean into to hide from the winter cold. Thinking of this, my heart started to ache.

I am still selfishly hoping that you haven't forgotten about me, or our past that was filled with laughter.

No matter what, today is a happy occasion. You have to spend it with a smile.

And wait for me to get you back.

- - You have to wait for me, Hayeon.

When I finally withdrew from my thoughts, I realised that I have been walking for quite a distance quietly with a dark expression. I licked my dry lips, and just as I was about to say something to the camera, the name of a tiny shop along the street attracted my attention.

"夏の言" (T/N:夏言is the original chinese character of Hayeon. In chinese, it literally means 'words of summer')

My heart felt as if it had been gripped tight.

It's your name.

I walked towards it without realising.

It's an accessory shop that young girls would like. Different types of jewelleries and pendants were hung everywhere. She liked places like these the most, and wouldn't want to head out once she entered.

"Are you going to buy Baekhyun's gift here?" The VJ asked.

"Nope, I just wanted to get something for my friend."

"Girlfriend?"

"No, for my sister." Normally, scenes like these won't be broadcasted, thus I explained rather simply.

I walked around the shop. My eyes ended up fixed on a delicate looking necklace.

The necklace had a simple design with an apple pendant hung on the silver chain, pieces of diamond engraved around the centre. It shone brightly under the light.

She liked apple prints, she said apples always reminded her of my name - - Chanyeol.

I took down the necklace and held it tightly in my hands, the metallic necklace made my palm ache.

- - When can I give you this present personally?

- - Regardless, please just wait for me.