Chapter 30
The next several hours were the worst agony Kirk could remember. The mindsifter was easier. Physically, the agony was a constant struggle to accept. But this only occupied a portion of his attention, and a small portion at that.
Most of his focus was on the emotional pain. Gut-wrenching, squeezing, twisting, stabbing - it overwhelmed him, and he let it. Having decided that the sooner he fell apart, the better for Konti, he was not trying to fight it. His breathing was very erratic, and his legs so weak he could hardly stand, but he continued to report regularly to Koh. Because of the supernatural peace, his acceptance of the pain was complete. Because of his complete acceptance, he did not fall apart.
Kirk kept thinking he would fall apart any minute. There had to be a limit to what he could tolerate. But he couldn't make it happen; he had to let it happen. All he could do was continue to hold his soul open, and refuse to let it shut down. Nor could he fake falling apart. He had no idea what he would do when it happened. Not that he cared. But Koh was too canny to be fooled by a fake.
This went on for over two hours. Suddenly, as Kirk was looking again at Konti's back, it was as if he had never seen it before. The shock nearly knocked him over. His response was instantaneous and not thought through. He dropped the whip, staggered out the door, and down the hall.
"Koh!" Konti was quite alarmed.
"I see him. Stay where you are."
Kirk burst into the monitoring room and staggered to a halt.
"Koh-" he stopped as he registered Koh's defensive posture, and hand poised on the dial. "You don't trust me." His tone showed surprise, but no accusation.
"Actually, I do. Konti thought I should lock the door."
"Your body language is not conveying trust. If you really trust me, take your hand off that dial, and relax."
Slowly Koh did.
"That's better. I want you to come down to Room E. I want to show you something. Can you put that pain generator on auto-pilot? Or fix up a remote control?"
"You want me to come with you, back to Room E."
"Yes. Can you just leave this for a few minutes?"
"Just a few minutes."
"Yes. You act like you don't believe me. It's not something you can see through the monitors. You have to actually be there in the room."
"Why did you come here? Why didn't you ask me from there?"
"I don't know. Maybe I thought you wouldn't come if I didn't come get you."
"Think back to the moment you came through this door. What were you feeling?"
"I remember being glad I had gotten all the way down the hall without falling. Foremost in my mind, though, was the urgency of my need to convince you to come and see what I want to show you. I left Konti without a word. Will you please come back with me?"
Koh glanced at the monitor, and observed Konti pacing in agitation.
"Konti."
"Koh! Are you all right?"
"I'm fine. Don't go away. Kirk will be back shortly." To Kirk, "Why the urgency?"
"Because I don't want to continue until you see what I have seen."
"What if I won't?" Koh asked thoughtfully.
"I'll face that if I have to. What can I say to convince you?"
"Nothing. Face it now. How does it make you feel?"
Kirk closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then his clear hazel eyes looked directly at Koh and he spoke calmly.
"Kill me now then."
"Are you angry?"
"No, but I'm not going back to Room E unless you go with me."
"No hostility, no aggression, no wish to attack me? You're telling me there was no thought or desire to attack me when you came down that hall to this room?"
"No, at least not consciously."
"And you would stand there, and let me kill you," Koh moved his hand back to the dial, "and not try to stop me?"
"Yes," and Kirk stood waiting for Koh to turn the dial up to a clearly lethal setting.
Koh stared for a long moment, then shook his head.
"You're incredible! Either you don't believe I'll do it, or you don't care if I do. Which is it?"
Kirk grinned. "Both. So stop playing games and come to Room E with me."
"Then you absolutely refuse to go on?"
"I'm not ruling it out entirely, but not til after you see what I want to show you."
"All right, you win. I'll come."
"Thank you."
Kirk started back down the hall without waiting for Koh. After setting the pain generator to automatically increase, and tying in the remote cutoff toggle switch, which he put in his pocket, Koh followed Kirk to Room E. He marveled at Kirk's trust in his word. Without hesitation, Kirk had returned to Room E, believing that Koh would come, simply because he had said he would. Even more astonishing was that he felt compelled to honor his word. No more games. When he entered Room E, Kirk was talking to Konti, with his back to the door. He turned when Koh entered.
"I've just told Konti what occurred in the monitoring room. He has not broken the command for silence, nor have I asked him to. The event that precipitated my trip down the hall is something I saw. I have been looking at Konti's back for hours, but suddenly it was a brand-new shocking sight. I want you to see it the way I saw it. Imagine that you are one of those coming to inspect the damage. You've heard the report, but you want proof that Kirk actually did it. I want your first reaction to the sight, not as Dr. Koh, but as an inspector. Okay?"
"Yes."
"All right. Konti, turn around, slowly."
Kirk kept his eyes trained on Koh's face. The appalled shock was obvious, followed closely by a surge of anger, which in turn was replaced by a clinical curiosity.
"Well?"
"You certainly managed to do a job on him."
"First reaction, Koh; be honest."
"I was shocked and angry."
"Put words to the anger."
"As an inspector; this is not what I think. This is what I think they will think."
"Understood."
"The filthy dog! How dare he! Death is too good for him! etc."
"Does this response differ from what you hoped to achieve?"
"No, I'd have to say it's right on the money."
"In your opinion, will the response be substantially different after another two hours of whipping?"
"Possibly in degree."
"Does your plan to clear Konti of any treason charge fall apart without another two hours of this?"
"No," Koh reluctantly admitted, "I think it will work with what we've got."
"Good. Then I quit. Not one more lash."
Kirk took a deep breath and collapsed, out cold. Koh immediately pressed the toggle switch. Konti dropped to Kirk's side.
"What happened? Is he okay?"
"He relaxed and let the pain from the wires overtake him. I have no idea if he did it on purpose; possibly not."
"How high is the dial?"
"I've turned it off, just to be safe. I don't know exactly how high it was. I'll have to check the tape in the monitoring room."
He had been checking Kirk's vital signs.
"I think he'll be fine. May be out a little longer than usual. How's your back feeling?"
"I'm fine. Don't worry about me."
"Konti, your back is a mess. I don't know what Kirk did to you, but it's likely to hit you all at once. So sit down before you fall down. And don't lean up against anything. I can't fix your back til after it's been inspected, and that may be several hours."
"Fix it? What do you mean?"
"Your back needs medical attention. I told you, it's a mess."
"You don't give Kirk's back any medical attention."
"Has he ever gotten 450 lashes all at once?"
"No, I don't think so. That dinner party was only about 300. Are you saying my back looks worse than that?"
"Yes. A lot worse. If I wasn't looking at it, I wouldn't have believed he would do that to you. Not for any price."
"The price you gave him was my life."
"Yes. It's the only thing that would have worked."
Konti frowned. "You're not telling me you made it up?"
"No, the threat is very real. It's the only reason Korn agreed to this whole scheme. Like Kirk, he decided your life was worth the worst beating you are ever likely to get. But a word of warning: you will have to come through with your end of the deal. Otherwise, what he just did will be worse than wasted. Three 500-lash beatings spaced only far enough apart that you don't kill him."
"Koh! I can't do that!"
"Yes, you can. Would you despise what Kirk just did, and let them kill you anyway? You don't even have to do it yourself, though it would be better if you did. Nor do you have to do it wired to a pain generator putting out maximum non-lethal dosages. And last but not least, you can hide your emotions behind an angry front, instead of putting your emotional agony into words, continually forcing yourself to face it."
"But three of them! It's too much!"
"That's the point. They must be satisfied that you have given him a fate worse than death. The truth that he has already paid a far higher price must be kept a secret among us."
"What secret?" Kirk was awake.
"How do you feel now?" Koh inquired.
"Other than exhausted, not bad, considering. What secret?" He repeated the question.
"We were talking about the difference between what they will think, and what we know to be true. Konti doesn't want to give you three beatings."
"I don't blame him. I wouldn't either. For one thing, it's exhausting."
"Kirk, we know what else it was. I've got a tape full of your descriptions. It seemed markedly worse after the break. Do you know why?"
"I was trying to make it as awful as possible. The sooner I fell apart, the better for Konti. Didn't work though. Sometimes, stubbornness can be a disadvantage."
"So you don't consider that trip down the hall to be falling apart?"
"No, I don't. Would you consider one unpremeditated action falling apart?"
"Considering what that action was, no, I wouldn't. But as you found out, I was prepared for you to be completely out of control."
"I'm sorry I scared you. You too, Konti. I shouldn't have left without telling you why."
"You can't exactly be blamed for not thinking clearly under the circumstances," Konti reasoned.
"If that's the extent of your falling apart, I would say you have unbelievable control. But then, I already knew that. I will promise you this: I will never make you do this again. There will be no reruns of this experiment. I may play with the upper ranges on the dial again, but no more whipping parties."
"Thank you. How high was it anyway?" Kirk asked.
"I don't know exactly. I haven't been back to check. But tell me, were you aware of any increase after you quit beating Konti?"
"Yes. My impression is that it never stopped increasing. It was a constantly increasing pressure all day long, except during the break, when you turned it off. And it's off now, but it was still increasing when I passed out."
"Did you do that on purpose?" Koh wanted to know.
"No. You think I can pass out just by wanting to?"
"At those pain levels, yes. The only reason you don't pass out is because you don't want to."
"Maybe. I think you give me more power than I have."
The discussion moved from debriefing to strategy concerning the expected inspectors. Koh refused to let Konti go home until his back was treated. Kirk thought it best if they came directly to Room E, and the sooner the better, while the blood on the floor was still fresh. Koh left to call Korn, and was back a few minutes later.
"They'll be here within the hour. And Kirk, I checked the tape. You want to guess how high the dial was?"
"I have absolutely no idea."
"460," Koh reported.
"Hmm- You like to live dangerously. Konti would not have been happy with you, and Korn would have had a fit."
"The manuals are always conservative. I would have risked as high as 500, if you were still conscious. But I'm curious about your perceptions."
"We can talk about that tomorrow. Right now, we need to be getting ready for visitors." Kirk got to his feet. "Ideally, they should be able to feel the tension in the atmosphere as soon as they walk in the door."
"What tension?" Koh quipped.
"That's the problem. There isn't any. Konti's still basking in the peace of the Lord, and I'm too exhausted to feel tense. But the real problem is there's no hostility among us. Any astute observer will notice, even if they can't quite pinpoint the reason it feels wrong." Kirk turned his head. "Konti, I don't want to deprive you of that peace, but how well can you fake agony and anger?"
"I don't know. I'm sure I'm not as good an actor as you are," Konti claimed.
"Let's try it and let Koh be the judge. Start by feeling the pain in your back. Focus on it; sense how very awful it feels. Show it to me on your face, in your breathing, your body language. That's good. Now keep that in focus. Let it build to overwhelming, and it will if you let it. While that's happening, I want you to think about the source of the pain. Think about the long hours of standing with your hands on your head. Think about the intense pain of every lash, over and over and over, multiplied incredibly as the hours dragged on.
"Here's where you have to create an alternate reality. I don't want you to think about the peace you enjoyed, or any of the words I said. Put that reality in a box; close and lock the door. If you let it out of the box, it may cost you your life, so bury it deep. How's the pain? Is it building?"
Konti nodded.
"Good. Now, here's your new reality. Your pain, your agony was caused by this slave who's been nothing but trouble. You didn't want him in the first place, but you've tried to be kind and considerate - even taken care of him. But now, he's repaid your kindness with this unspeakable outrage. You are absolutely furious! You've been violated! Let the agony feed your anger. Express it; let it out. Death is too good for him! Too easy! You want him to suffer long and hard for what he has done to you."
Konti had been almost getting it, but suddenly, he crumpled, putting his face in his hands, and shaking his head. Kirk turned to Koh.
"If he can't do it, you should separate us. Konti can lay on the floor, face to the wall, and pretend to be half-conscious. Maybe they won't try to make him talk. We can lock me in Room A. Did I see some handcuffs in the drawer? Come to think of it, those would be useful even in here. Leg manacles would be good too, if you've got them."
"Yes, I do. We're running out of time. I agree it would be safer to 'play dead' so to speak, but infinitely better to play the scene for all it's worth, if you can. I'll fetch the restraints; you talk to Konti. He's the one that will have to decide what he can do."
Koh left.
"Konti, listen to me. It's not just your life at stake. My life is already forfeit, so what happens to me is irrelevant. But Koh is in this up to his ears, and I suspect your father is too. You can do for them what you won't do for yourself. You were getting it, until you started thinking about beating me. You aren't going to beat me. It's that alternate reality, ungrateful slave, who just happens to look like me. Separate the two, and you can do this."
Suddenly Kirk gasped. "Uh-oh. Koh just sent me a signal. Must mean they're here. Konti, decide, now!"
"I'll do it."
"Pick me up and throw me at the wall."
"What?"
"Pick up the slave and throw him at the wall. It's the outrage of the thing, as much as the pain. And keep doing it til they walk through that door."
So Konti did, three times. The third time, he had Kirk lifted over his head when the door opened. He hurled Kirk at the far wall, and turned to face the visitors. Kirk landed with a thud and lay still. He began praying fervently for Konti, that he could pull this off. Konti drew himself erect as he recognized two very senior officers with Korn. Koh was last and stayed by the door. The others spread out before him.
Korn spoke. "At ease, Konti. Turn around."
Konti presented his backside for inspection. No one said a word for several long moments. Finally Konti turned to face them and broke the silence.
"I must apologize for being out of uniform."
"Apology noted," Korn replied. The others did not speak. "Did Kirk do this?"
"He did. Koh threatened him." Which was true, but Konti said it with contempt, conveying a far different meaning. "But he has not yet learned the full meaning of the word 'threat'. Believe me, he will pay for this, and pay dearly. He will wish he had let Koh kill him. But killing's too easy. I mean to make him suffer.
"He forced me to take him as a slave, and he's been nothing but trouble. I tried to be fair, even took care of him, and this is how he repays my kindness. It's outrageous! It's absolutely-!" Konti took a deep breath and composed himself. "Forgive me, I forget myself."
"Indeed. Kirk! Stand up!"
Kirk stood up slowly, but cowered against the wall, with lowered eyes.
"Come here!"
Kirk tried to stay out of Konti's reach, and seemed none too eager to approach within Korn's either.
"What do you have to say for yourself?"
Kirk shook his head, kept his eyes on the floor, and conveyed nervous anxiety with his body language. Korn took a step towards him, slapped him across the face, and sent him flying. Kirk would have stayed down, but Korn called him back, and did it again. And a third time. During all of this Konti kept himself at attention, neither approving nor disapproving. Korn quit, satisfied that Konti was not going to react to his treatment of Kirk.
"Koh, see to Konti's back. We'll let ourselves out. I'm sure you will keep Kirk adequately restrained."
"Yes, sir." Koh pulled out the handcuffs he had put in his pocket.
Korn left, followed by the two senior officers.
"Konti, go on down to Room A. I'll be with you shortly."
Konti left without a word. Koh stooped to handcuff Kirk.
Kirk whispered. "Koh, lock the door. You don't know that they won't be back."
Koh did not reply, but did lock the door. Kirk promptly went to sleep. Debriefing could wait til morning. Koh also locked the outer doors, so no one could enter unannounced. Then he patched up Konti's back. Over Konti's protest, he applied a local anesthetic, and a liberal quantity of synthskin. He hooked him up to an IV, and gave him several injections. Konti wanted to know what was in them. Koh merely replied that he didn't tell Kirk what was in them, so why should he tell Konti. With an admonition to behave himself, because he, Koh, had to answer to Konti's father, Koh bid him good night. Konti was asleep in less than five minutes.