ANNOUNCEMENT: In case you didn't notice in the description, I have recruited Elf from DownUnder to help me out with the story! This means more updates for you, so be happy. This chapter is mine, the next is her's, etc. Enjoy! *turns off megaphone*

Chapter 15: Noble

15. I will not sneak extra Lembas helpings and blame it on Gimli

"Blue, no wait- yellow."

"Umm, orange!"

"Purple."

"You're all wrong," Frodo said, "Guess again."

"Magenta!" exclaimed Merry.

"Olive!" yelled Sam.

"...Octarine!" Pippin chimed in.

"No, no and...wha?"

"Octarine," Pippin shrugged, "It's like a mix between green, yellow, and purple."

"Since when did Pippin become a colour genius?" Merry laughed.

"Since reading Terry Pratchett," the young hobbit retorted.

Sam stared, "You can read?"

"YES you idiot!" Pippin shouted, and the two of them began to argue, only supported by Merry and Frodo's encouraging shrieks.

Aragorn sighed audibly at their bickering and shifted the canoe poised on his back. Luckily, with all the portaging they had been forced to do over the past few days, the boats were extremely light, but it was still rather tedious to have to carry them through underbrush for hours on end.

It didn't help that Legolas, sporting merely 4 inches of blond(ish) hair, insisted on literally carrying his boat on his head, and was continuously bonking into trees.

The hobbits had invented some sort of colour-guessing game to pass the time, but most of it had ended in childish arguments and a lot of bruises.

The Ranger really, truly couldn't wait for their river journey to be over.

"I SAID PURPLE ALREADY!" Pippin screamed so loud that on the other side of the world Manwë cowarded nobly (if that's even possible) beside his mountainous throne, "YOU LIAR!"

"I thought you said octarine-" Frodo attempted to shield himself behind Sam, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"SETTLE DOWN already!" yelled Boromir, losing it.

"My...friends," Aragorn attempted to keep the sarcasm out of his voice, "If I were to offer you each some Lembas for energy, would that give you enough to think about to stop arguing for a while?"

Lamest question ever, by the way.

"Sure!" exclaimed Merry, always the first to respond to food offers.

"Lembas is a queenly gift," came a muffled Legolas-sounding voice from beneath a waddling canoe, "It was never meant by the Lady to be given out at will."

"Legolas, shut up," Boromir and Gimli said in unison. Any thing to keep the monsters quiet for any period of time was worth it.

Aragorn put his canoe down and opened the cooler sitting inside, "Righty. So...blueberry, chocolate chip, or original?"

The hobbits shared knowledgeable glances "Chocolate!"

"Chocolate it is," Aragorn began to unwrap the leaf...thing, Legolas glaring holes into his back. He turned it over. A few crumbs slipped out.

"WHO ate the chocolate Lembas?" seethed Boromir from between his teeth.

Frodo suddenly became very interested in his feet.

Sam came to the rescue, "It was Gimli!"

He was met with three looks of confusion, one look of pure anger, two wild grins, and the top of someone's head who happened to be watching a small potato bug on the ground, "I, I mean, I saw him! I really did! Last night! It was true!"

Gimli sucked in hid breath and counted slowly to ten. Aragorn looked hard at Sam, "I do not appreciate your lying, Samwise. We are a team, and we will need this food later. This should better not happen again."

Sam stared at his feet as well, "It won't...Sir."

"Good."

Some time later...

"Thanks, Sam," Frodo weakly grinned at his friend, feeling rather embarrassed and ashamed.

"Don't mention it Mr. Frodo. 'Ts the least I can do, seeing the challenges you're already facing..." Sam trailed off and leant his head against his pack, trying to fall asleep.

Deep in the shadows of the trees, Gollum crouched thoughtfully, a notebook poised in his frogish hand.

In thin, spidery handwriting he slowly wrote, "Trick with Lembas. Say fat hobbit ate it. Make sure [these two words he underlined several times] to leave evidence. Crumbs, perhaps."

Cookies are overdone. REVIEW for cake! Now, off to go to something productive at 6am on A Saturday...