Chapter 16: Poor Haldir

By Elf from Downunder

16. It is not appropriate to graffiti in Lorien

"Do you think this one looks just like Gandalf? Do you?" Pippin whispered to Merry.

Merry put his spray can down and gave Pippin's work a glance.

"No! You forgot his huge nose!"

"Oh, right. Should I put Farmer Maggot in the picture as well?" Pippin asked.

"Only if I get to draw Saruman on a motorcycle!" Suddenly, Merry could hear faint footsteps coming from behind a large group of trees.

"Pip, I think someone's coming! They're going to see what we've done to the trees!"

Pippin's eyes grew wide as he threw his spray can as far away as possible. "Hide the cans!"

Merry just dropped his before he and Pippin hid themselves behind a bush.

Haldir was having a great morning so far. The birds were singing, the sun was shining – what was not to love? He was enjoying the peace and quiet so much, he almost didn't notice that the trees he was walking past had horrific drawings all over it in black and purple spray paint.

"What is up with these trees?!" he exclaimed, studying all the artworks.

"Is that one supposed to be me? Why do I look so fat?!" while he was making a big deal out of everything, he stumbled over Merry's spray can. Picking it up and looking at every direction to see if there was anyone around, he scowled in an authoritative manner. "Whoever did this is going to have to explain to the Lady Galadriel why these trees have lame drawings on them!"

At this, Pippin leaped from his hiding place.

"Hey! In case you didn't know, our drawings are not lame!" he stated firmly, giving Haldir a glare.

"Pip, he isn't supposed to know it was us." Merry sighed, coming out from behind the bushes as well.

Pippin's glare turned into an expression of realization. "Oh. Forgot about that."

Haldir looked just about ready to strangle the both of them. "You rascals!You did this!"

Merry shrugged. "It's no big deal. In my opinion, I think the trees look a lot better now."

"Are you insane!?" Haldir made a dramatic hand gesture towards one of the graffiti trees. "Is that supposed to be Aragorn?"

Pippin's face brightened. "Yes! We made him into a hill billy!"

The Marchwarden of the Galadhrim looked at him as if he were crazy. "Okaaay …"

But Pippin completely ignored his reaction, and pointed excitedly to another tree. "And that one's me!"

"And me!" Merry piped in.

"And we're the kings of Burger King!"

"We wish ..." Merry muttered.

Haldir looked at the tree behind him and gave it a questioning look. "And what's that picture supposed to be of?"

Merry gave him an insane grin. "That's Gimli sacrificing Legolas in Fangorn Forest!"

"So, are you still gonna tell the creepy elf lady what we did?" Pippin's face was hopeful.

Haldir folded his arms. "Yes. It's part of my job to tell her things like this."

Pippin's face immediately fell. "Can't you take a lunch break from your job?"

"Elves don't take lunch breaks."

"Oh. Can you at least not do your job properly?"

Haldir shrugged Pippin off. "I have to do my job properly! Now if you don't mind, I'm taking this can and telling the lady what you two have done!" he then made his way back to Caras Galadhon.

Pippin's bottom lip trembled. "You bully ..."

"Don't just stand there, Pip! Let's get him!"

Haldir was grumbling on his walk back. What a way to ruin his morning. He and his brothers were probably the ones going to scrub all the mess off from the trees. "Her reaction when she finds out what those two ..."

"Don't let him get any further, Merry!" he heard one of the hobbits shout.

He swiftly turned around to see the both of them with a long piece of rope. "Wait, what are you … GET OFF ME!"

Pippin and Merry tackled him to the ground before tying his feet and hands, and with the help of duct tape were able to stop him from screaming. When they were sure he was helpless, the two dragged him off and hid him behind the bush.

"Do you think anyone will notice he's missing?" Pippin wondered.

Merry shook his head. "Nah … he shouldn't be able to get away either."

"He's getting away now!"

Haldir would've groaned if it weren't for the duct tape. Despite the fact his arms and legs were tied, he still managed to perform an awkward way of crawling.

"GET HIM!" Merry commanded, and the two tackled him again.

Now, spray painting is a tedious and illegal task which is only partaken by...oh forget it. We reached 50 reviews, guys! AMAZING!