15 [Byun Baekhyun] Failure
"What did you say? Did I hear wrong," Tae Shin Hyung looked at me with a shocked expression.
"…I said, can I push back the surgery," I calmly repeated myself.
The next morning, after I had packed up in the hospital ward, Tae Shin Hyung came to fetch me.
"Why would you want to drag it? Don't you know that you need to get the surgery done as fast as possible so that you can recover quickly, if you drag it, it will only worsen your condition, how could you…"
"Its because," I broke him off, "because…I don't want my parents to know about it, so, I'm looking for other ways to borrow some money, so, the surgery might be pushed back a little…"
Tae Shin Hyung probably didn't expect that it would be because of such a reason, he froze for a moment.
"Even though that's the reason, you should never risk your health…...you should find a time to tell your parents about it, at the end of the day, they'll still know about it somehow," Tae Shin Hyung sighed. "You don't have to worry too much about the surgery fee, the company won't make it difficult for you."
"Thanks Hyung," I smiled at him, at least the discussion about when to have surgery is over.
"Oh yeah, they came to see you yesterday right? The members."
"Yes, they came yesterday."
"…...What did you say to them?"
"I told them I had stomach flu, and needs some time to rest."
Tae Shin Hyung sighed again, and patted my shoulders, "I know you feel upset inside as well, yet you have to go through this by yourself. But now that we're missing one of the members of the group, its important for them to develop as an individual artiste, they can't be distracted…"
I nodded. I know, even though some of the members aren't close with each other, but thinking about it, if we had a member resting in a hospital waiting for surgery, it wouldn't feel good when being reminded of it while recording a variety show or some sort.
I stared blankly at the road as I sat on the car back to the dorm. There were all types of pedestrians, some rushed and others relaxed, all types of cars, from pretty race cars to trucks loaded with goods.
Left turn, right turn, green light, red light.
This bustling and diverse world.
It felt as if I belonged somewhere out of this world.
In a daze, I could recall those words Tae Shin Hyung told me when I was admitted to the hospital.
"Baekhyun-ah, do you feel better?"
"…What I'm going to you next – don't panic when you hear it…calm down first, and listen to me."
"The hospital says that there's a tumour at your stomach, it was already identified at your last health check-up, that's why I had called you to the hospital again for a re-check."
"Don't be afraid…thankfully, it isn't dangerous. I'm already trying my best to arrange a surgery for you as fast as possible, if not, the tumour might…"
"Don't be too sad either, it may sound serious, but you will definitely be okay…be optimistic."
I'm not afraid, neither am I the least bit saddened. Apart from feeling a little surprised, I have calmly accepted the fact that such a thing has happened on me.
I even wonder if God has finally had enough, and decided to give Byun Baekhyun who gets everyone's hate where ever he goes a way to end it.
Even if I were to be saved from this illness, it would only cause me pain and the others around me more trouble.
I'm sorry.
I'm also tired of this.
After I returned to the empty dorm, I went straight to bed.
Recently, I've always been feeling more tired than the in the past.
I'm not sure how long after, I was awoken by my phone's ringtone.
Incoming call: Wu Yifan
"Hello."
"Come out now."
"…Where?" I asked weakly.
"I'm already waiting below your apartment, come down fast."
He hung up after saying so.
I sighed, and briefly groomed myself before heading downstairs.
Seeing the familiar car opposite the road, I felt my head ache. But I had no choice, I walked towards it and opened the door before seating inside.
He still had his hands on the steering wheel, as usual, in his arrogant and proud manner.
"Why did you come out dressed just like that?" He asked me with a raised eyebrow.
I looked my own clothes — they weren't too different from the ones I wore in the past.
— But even if I were to dress up in my best clothes, they'll still end up being removed by you.
Seeing that I didn't reply, he replied to his own words, "Oh…I almost forgot that you are a celebrity. You have to dress low key to prevent being recognised by the public."
I turned my head to the side.
"I'm quite tired today, can we be fast? So that I can return earlier."
From my corner vision, I saw Wu Yifan staring at me, and burst out laughing.
"What are you thinking?"
"In your eyes, am I just a perverted jerk to you?"
"…No."
"Alright, then I'll be fast today. But before that, let's go get you new clothes."
"…Huh?"
I had no idea what kind of tricks he was trying to play.
"I'm bringing you to a party tonight, how could you go dressed like that."
"…Party? Why do you want to bring me there?..." I was even more confused.
He didn't replied and grinned before starting the car engine.
When I stood before the door of the building where the party was held, I was already dressed in a black suit.
"You dressed up like this…" He examined me for a moment, "not very nice."
…I did not know what to say.
"Look at your skinny form, you really do look better dressed in thick clothes that cover your frame up."
"If you prefer muscular men, why did you call me along to this place with you." I muttered in a quiet voice. Is it interesting? Teasing me.
"What did you say?" He lowered his head and leaned close to me.
"…Nothing," Knowing that it'd be better not to get on his nerves, I kept quiet.
Wu Yifan was probably one of the major people in the business industry. People who looked similar to his status came up to us as soon as we entered the hall.
"Hey! Long time no see, Mr Wu."
Wu Yifan returned to his composed self and interacted with each of the people, briefly introducing me when needed.
"This is my friend, Baekhyun."
I bowed and greeted them, after all, they all looked like respectable seniors or people of higher status.
"This youngster here seems like…hmm, isn't he the main vocal of which group?" One of the bosses was trying hard to recall.
"M1," I replied respectfully.
"Ah yes yes yes yes. My daughter really likes them a lot, and that – who? She goes on and on about him all day…Chan…something."
"…Chanyeol."
— The moment I say out your name, I felt as if I was in a daze. Look, only your name is enough to make my heart flutter.
I should just die just die, because no matter how you spite me for being a bitch, as long as you are Park Chanyeol, you'd be a drug I am addicted to, something I can't do without.
"We'll be going over first," While I was in a trance, Wu Yifan's voice came from beside me, a hand also reached over. I tilted my head to look at him, he nodded politely at the group of people and softly pulled me towards the seats at the corner.
"How do you like hearing his name?" He asked expressionlessly.
Seeing that I did not speak, he asked me to seat down beside the table.
"I have to go somewhere to discuss some things, you sit here first," He said.
"Yea," I nodded.
"Don't ever drink wine, not even when someone offers," He nagged again before he left.
After watching him leave, I sat quietly alone at the table. Bored, I fiddled around with the forks and spoons on the table. All around me were people chatting, I seemed like someone out of this circle.
On the other hand, Wu Yifan was at another faraway area talking to some people, a glass of wine in his hands. He looked like one of those young masters in dramas.
Thinking of when I first met him, it was in a similar occasion.
Just as I was in my own world, someone suddenly sat down on the empty seat beside me.
I turned my head around. My eyes widened.
"Hayeon…" I muttered while looking at her shocked, "…Why are you here?"
"You don't wish to see me? Byun Baekhyun."
I just…the way you speak to me harshly, its almost exactly the same as Park Chanyeol.
"No," I'm just afraid you'll end up in the same situation as last time.
I looked around her, "You're here alone?"
But she didn't answer my question.
"Why? Don't you want to ask me why I said that to Chanyeol about you?"
I froze for a little, then realised that Hayeon was referring to her telling Chanyeol that I was the one who worked together with Wu Yifan to try to harm her.
"You wanted revenge. I have nothing to say," I lowered my eyes.
Afterwards, I heard her laugh, similar to that of a winner's towards the loser.
"Byun Baekhyun, you must not know yet, but I finally got the script in a drama not long ago."
"…Congratulations."
"Even though, you caused me to be unable to debut, I still did it, all by myself." She stared at me, like a complain, but more like as if she was trying to show off.
Yes, Hayeon, look how fast karma has done its job. You will soon appear in front of the public's eye like a star, just as charming and pretty as back then while Byun Baekhyun would have to slowly disappear from it.
Isn't it always like this in the dramas? The main characters go through hard times, but still end up having their dreams come true, end up with the person they love, while the once villians end up in a pitiful state.
"I hope I haven't interrupted your little chat," Just then, Wu Yifan appeared in between the both of us, one hand supported on the back of my chair.
Hayeon looked at Wu Yifan, expression still filled with fear, probably being reminded of their horrible past encounter.
"M…Mr Wu," She called, afraid.
"Ms Lee, if there isn't anything, I'll be leaving with my friend first," He said as he began to pull me up.
Lee Hayeon bit her lip, not speaking.
"Ah, and also, thanks to Ms Lee, I managed to become friends with Baekhyun."
"Isn't it Ms Lee who told others that we were partners in crime, trying to harm you together?" Wu Yifan continued to smile, yet his words made one afraid.
"So, me and Baekhyun must look as if we were friends, right?"
Hayeon's face turned pale.
Seeing such a situation, I immediately nudged Wu Yifan a little, and said my goodbyes to Hayeon, "We'll go first."
Hayeon's eyes were still filled with hatred as she looked at me. I smiled bitterly, she's probably guessing that I was the one who told all these to Wu Yifan.
In the car, Wu Yifan lit up a cigarette while I sat silently beside the driver's seat.
After a long time, I opened my mouth to break the silence.
"You did it on purpose right?"
He took a drag of the cigarette, and slowly huffed out the cloudy smoke.
"What are you saying."
I sighed silently, and leaned onto the car window, tired.
"You knew Hayeon came, that's why you brought me here. Am I right?"
He listened, and laughed softly.
"Looks like you are a lot more smarter that I thought."
"Why are you doing this?"
"Because," He turned his head around to look at me, "I'm very curious, where's your bottom-line."
I looked back at him, confused.
"You're helping Lee Hayeon so much, but she doesn't appreciate it. Looks like this pitiful lady, doesn't know what she had exchanged for to ensure a successful debut."
This topic made me slightly uncomfortable. I was suddenly reminded of how on the bed, how this person had shamed me by making me lose all my pride.
"You saw it too just now, what an unappreciative little lady, how upsetting."
"So, let me ask you again, our deal, do you still want to continue it? Its still your own choice."
My hands balled up into fists.
"The token in exchange to her position, do you still pick yourself, or her — "
"Myself," I cut in and answered, before he finished.
I'm already this rotten beyond repair, I'm not afraid of being worse.
"Now you've heard my answer, can I go back now?" I shut my eyes out of exhaustion.
After sometime without a reply, just as I was about to open my eyes to look over, I was pulled over by someone, and then pressed into a firm chest.
Wu Yifan…is embracing me.
I'm a little afraid, afraid that he'll do something to me, but I didn't dare to push him away.
"You doing all these silly things, is it all for Park Chanyeol?" He suddenly asked, I could not identify his emotion from his words.
"…No, I said this before, its only because I owe Hayeon."
"Don't you feel as if you are wronged and suffering?"
I shook my head, but I felt an ache in my heart from those words.
Maybe I do feel that way. Hatred and misunderstanding from the person I love, I'm repaying for my sins, yet no one is willing to forgive me.
I want to…I want to become closer with that person, but all I see is coldness and despise.
But, a person like me, am I even fit to feel wronged?
Seeing that I did not speak, Wu Yifan let me go.
"How old are you already, yet you are dropping tears," He looked at me, words with a teasing tone. His hands reached over.
I duck instinctively, hurriedly, wiping off the tears on my cheeks.
He watched me, he put down his hand in mid-air awkwardly.
I immediately arranged my emotions, silently scolding myself if it was because of my illness that I've became this weak and emotional.
It felt as if that hug never happened, we went back to our distant state.
"Oh yeah," He opened his mouth to speak, "When is your surgery?"
His question made me froze.
"You…how did you know?" I thought about it, "Tae Shin Hyung told you?"
"Who is Tae Shin Hyung?" He asked me with a frown.
"My manager, the one you saw last time…" I knew he had a bad memory and didn't bother to explain much.
"Ah, the one I met at the hospital." He nodded, "After I met you at the hospital, I assigned someone to take note of your medical records."
Is this even possible? I looked at him, shocked, "Isn't that the patient's privacy?" I was a little unhappy, as if I was betrayed by the hospital.
He ruffled my hair, "Looks like you have quite a lot of energy, getting angry at me."
"I did not," I stopped looking at him and turned back to my seat.
"Really, tell me, when's your surgery? I'll find someone to arrange you the best surgeon,"
"No need for that." I replied simply, not wanting to stay longer on this topic, I asked, "Are we not going back?" The car was already at its original spot for half an hour.
"Go back? Go back to my hotel?"
I paused, hearing his words, after a long internal struggle, I realised that he was playing a joke on me.
"You…"
"Alright, alright. I'll send you back." He could not help but laugh, following that, he started the car and drove onto the road.
16 [Park Chanyeol] Why Don't You Know
I used to think that you'd always be by my side.
And have our lives entangled with each other's for the rest of it - as if like a sin.
Being such a bitch you are, no matter how I despise you, yet you willingly stay by my side.
That's because you love me.
You love me. Right?
So, what are you doing now.
…You want to leave me behind, and seek happiness for yourself alone?
I, no matter what, will never allow that.
Byun Baekhyun, you belong to me.
You have to remember.
"Chanyeol…ahhh…"
Pain?
That's right, you are only fit to live like this - in pain.
"Have I ever told you, that I hate it the most when others touch what's mine," I thrust forcefully into his body, listening to his whimpers and moans.
"…Ah…"
"Including you."
"Ah…uh…ah…"
"Including you, Byun Baekhyun."
"…Chanyeol…"
"How could you, let another man touch you. Such a disgusting whore."
I recalled those pictures I saw yesterday off the internet. Byun Baekhyun was in those pictures, and was walking side-by-side with another man, as if returning to a car. His cap was pulled down and wearing a big scarf, yet I could still clearly see his features.
The comments underneath the pictures agitated me even more.
— That guy really looks like Baekhyun's older brother.
— Is he hanging out together with his friend? His older brother?~ I want to see him in real life too.
— He looks so handsome even in casual clothes ~ Jjang!
— Isn't that Wu Yifan? The one on the left, he's a big boss though.
— Ah Baekhyun oppa is so amazing! He must be so popular to know such a big boss!
Fucking hell, its Wu Yifan again.
I looked at the current him — the petite person moaning in pain beneath me — I could tear him apart.
I breathed heavily as I punished him, forgetting everything apart from wanting to conquer him underneath me.
He didn't dare to touch me with his hands. He could only grab onto the sheets below him tightly. His brows knitted up from the pain, his forehead had a sheer layer of sweat.
His lustful features, I could not help but to want to kiss them.
— But how could he deserve such gentle treatment.
After I released myself, I took myself out of his body and wrapped myself in some clothing before walking to the bathroom.
When I returned, he hurriedly supported himself to sit up, looks like he wanted to go to the bathroom clean himself up as well.
Do you really hate being in the same room with me that much?
He gripped onto the table, trying hard to stabilise himself. Always so run down, after we've had sex.
— What about when you were with Wu Yifan? Is he very gentle in bed? Does he makes you feel good?
Such thoughts angered me.
Just then, I noticed those hands which were holding onto the table. The small apple pendant glowed faintly on his slim and pale wrist which shown from beneath his sleeve.
"You're actually still wearing that," I sneered and went up to grab his wrist.
Byun Baekhyun who thought I had already let him got a shock, he looked at me nervously.
"Did you know."
I tugged on the thin metallic chain wrapped around his wrist.
"This, was supposed to be the Christmas present I intended on gifting Hayeon, it just happened that the staff got mistaken during the shoot."
He looked at me, face full of shock. This must be your first time hearing of this right? But this isn't the first time that you have stolen what originally belonged to Hayeon.
"It can't be that you thought for real that I'd gift it to you."
Just like this, you should always be playing the dumb character - you treasure a certain thing, but it has never belonged to you in the first place.
I applied more force on my tug on the chain.
The thin chain pressed into his skin, forming a red mark. He seemed to have realised what I was about to do, he immediately panicked, furiously trying to prevent me from doing so.
"No…Chanyeol…stop."
I smiled, and gave the chain a sudden yet forceful tug.
There was a barely detectable sound.
And the chain split and broke before anyone could prevent it.
As it fall to the floor, I could see the blood on his wrist.
But it was as if he felt no pain, he hurriedly bent down to look for it all over the floor.
I watched him from above. Just as he was about to touch the necklace, I kicked it away.
He paused for a moment, before continuing to reach for it.
Once again, I kicked it away.
He didn't raise his head, kneeling on the floor in a demeaning way.
I saw him raise his arms to wipe his eyes.
My heart moved.
— Was he crying?
During that brief moment when I lost focus, he finally managed to pick back the broken necklace, and held it tightly in his palms as if it was a treasure.
Days still passed in the same dawdling manner. There were endless schedules depriving us of sleep. Yet I still made time to meet up with Hayeon, except it was no longer as frequent as before.
Also, I witnessed the way Byun Baekhyun got more and more despondent by the day.
Living in such dreary days, never I would have imagined that I would get the chance to meet Wu Yifan individually.
I was walking along the corridor of the broadcasting station after I had ended my solo schedule when I brushed shoulders with that person.
Even though I have never seen him in person, I knew I did not recognise wrong – the person whom I had sworn to take revenge on as soon as I met him.
Just like that, he walked past me.
I spun around and dashed towards him, grabbing his shoulders before throwing a punch square in his face.
However, the two men behind him blocked me immediately.
"Bastards! …Let me go!" I shouted, ignoring the station staffs' strange stares as they walked by.
Wu Yifan squinted his eyes as he gave me a once over, before showing a small smile.
"Mr Park Chanyeol?"
"Wu Yifan ! What the fuck is your relationship with Byun Baekhyun?"
I paused for a split second after shouting, and immediately added, "And what did you fucking do to Hayeon?!"
The person eyed me with a wider smile.
His incomprehensible smile made me even more aggravated. I wanted desperately to give him a hard beating, but I could not escape the restraint of the two tall men holding onto me.
I struggled desperately, yet he stood in front of me, perfectly still and untouched.
"I'll answer your second question with a sentence — I didn't do anything to Lee Hayeon, at least not what you were thinking of."
I continued to glare at him.
"As for your first question … Baekhyun's relationship with mine, was built based on you and Lee Hayeon."
Those words got me frozen on the spot.
"…What do you mean?"
He continued to smile, amused.
"Let him go."
"But — " The two men holding onto me hesitated briefly.
"Just do it, if he dares to do anything silly, he won't get to listen to my stories."
He brought me into one of the personal waiting rooms of the broadcasting station and closed the door as we walked in.
"You'd better give me a proper explanation, or else I won't let you out." I stood at the door without moving, glare still fixated on him.
Almost as if it didn't bother him at all, he sat down on the sofa.
"Sit. You want some water?"
"Get to the point."
He removed his formulated smile, but he continued to look at me with those amused eyes.
He took his time to speak.
And every word that left his mouth had flipped my world around.
"I'm not sure what mistake he made, to you and Hayeon. I only know he's trying to repent for his wrongdoings."
"Lee Hayeon wants to debut, you know that. And her company wants me to invest money in her so that she can get her fame."
"I'm sure you know how it works in your industry, no sponsorship is free. If she wants the fame, she has to pay the price."
"However, this 'price', is taken care of by Byun Baekhyun himself."
He watched me as he spoke, every word and sentence was properly enunciated. I could not help but to feel confused, even though there was nothing difficult to understand at all.
"I didn't force him to," He said as he twisted the ring on his finger, "He could've chose not to get involved in this mess, but it was his own choice, to pay the price in place for that girl." As he spoke, I could notice his expression darken just by the slightest bit.
I licked my dry lips and asked in a shaky voice, "Why…Why him…."
It was difficult to believe.
"Why did you let him choose?"
"He looked pretty enthusiastic about it, I mean the first time we met, he got beaten up for Hayeon."
"…What?"
"Ah, I forgot this story wasn't the version you've heard," Wu Yifan said as he stood up. He leaned towards me, "That girl – Lee Hayeon, told you that Byun Baekhyun called her into that room and joined hands with me to torture her?"
"Ha, a little boy like Byun Baekhyun? How could it be possible that I'd know him prior to that? The first time I met him, was when he sheltered your beloved girl. And he didn't let go even when he was beaten."
"So thanks to him, I didn't touch a hair of your Lee Hayeon, she probably got a shock, but that's all, and I apologise for that."
I could not absorb his words, and numbly asked, "I…Why should I believe you?"
"You can choose not to believe me, but the person you ought to believe, is Byun Baekhyun."
"He's such a simple minded fool, such that I could see through him from barely those few meeting we've had. If you are still unclear what kind of a person he is, I can only say that I'm extremely disappointed in you, Park Chanyeol."
"Or you could ask your Lee Hayeon, even though she probably won't be telling the truth."
I froze at my a moment before turning away to leave.
"Hey, I told you so much, aren't you going to thank me?"
"I have no energy to waste on you."
So what if he told the truth. To me, Wu Yifan is still a bastard, still someone who requested to sleep with Byun Baekhyun before he was willing.
"Also, I should remind you, Baekhyun is sick."
"What crap are you talking about." Of course I know that.
"I said, that he's sick here." He reached his hands towards me and jabbed at my heart area, "Don't you think that there's some problem with his mental state? Oh right, when did you ever have the time to care about him, of course you wouldn't know."
"What problem?" I asked with a frown, too lazy to bother about his snide remarks.
"I'm not a psychologist, how would I know? But 'I don't want to live anymore' is that kind of a problem considered bad enough?"
'I don't want to live anymore.'? I looked at him in disbelief.
Almost as if he could sense my confusion, he continued with his statement.
"I'm telling you these very seriously. I'm guessing that he'd only listen to you, so you'd better persuade him to get a surgery, if not, he'd be left with no choice but to die."
His tone made me slightly uncomfortable, but the content from what he had said, made it more difficult for me to accept. I immediately grabbed his shoulders.
"Why will he die! Isn't it just gastric flu!"
"Gastric flu?" He looked at me strangely with a frown, but soon it looked as if he realised something, "That's what he told you right? Nevermind, you should go ask him on your own.
Anyways, even though you have no feelings towards him whatsoever, you shouldn't just watch him die. It's best if you get him operated on as quickly as possible."
Through his serious eyes, I could feel a sense of panic rising in me.