22 [Byun Baekhyun] La Vie En Rose
Just about 5 minutes after Wu Yifan sent me home, Park Chanyeol returned.
…I wasn't seen by him, right?
"Where did you go," He asked, seeing that I was still wearing my coat. His expression looked rather relaxed.
I shuddered a little on the inside. For how many times, I was punished for my answers when I was asked such a question.
"…I went to uh…meet a friend."
"What friend?"
I saw his calm expression and decided to take the risk.
"Just…a friend from high school...he just wanted to meet up after he heard I was discharged from the hospital."
"Oh." He nodded, not probing further.
Seeing that he has believed my words, I felt slightly guilty.
Why are you suddenly so nice to me; suddenly starting to believe me, even my lies.
Seeing that I was frozen at my spot, he became bothered.
"What's wrong?"
"…Nothing." I hid my shocked expression, turning around to plug my phone to it's charger as I changed the topic, "I thought you'd be busy with filming but you're back rather early."
"I've filmed all my parts for today — what's that?"
"Huh?" I turned around and saw him pick something up from the floor.
Ah — those musical tickets. Wu Yifan had stuffed them into my pocket while I wasn't paying attention, they must have fell off when I took my phone out.
"This is uh…what my friend gave…"
"'La Vie En Rose'?" He frowned as he examined the tickets. Then he looked up to ask me, "Who are you going with?"
"I don't actually plan on going. My friend just kind of gave it to me."
"So, you don't need them?" He asked.
I shook my head.
I saw the way he was holding those tickets. I instantly realised something. It was obvious.
He has been filming with Hayeon recently.
A longing re-united couple at last, they'd probably appreciate such chances. Walking into the dark room of seats, regardless how many people there would be around them, it would only be their own world.
"Have it," I smiled, "I won't be using it anyway."
"You're really giving them to me?"
"Yeah."
"So I can use it however way I like it?"
"…Yeah," Of course. I nodded and turned back to find the charger cable.
But I was tapped on the shoulder.
"Hey."
Park Chanyeol's deep and attractive voice came from behind.
What's wrong? I turned back around.
I saw him holding one of the tickets out towards me.
"Watch it with me."
No matter from how long ago it was, every single detail of the image stayed imprinted with me in my mind.
His expression as he asked, I remember. The slightly lifted corners of his lips, I remember.
Even the curve of his extended arm and his delicate fingers that held the paper, I remember it all.
He's the one I've been loving for a very long time.
The one whom I've never received anything in return from. The one who hates me and dislikes me.
Is now watching me sincerely, waiting for me to take the invitation from his hand.
— Watch it with me.
My mind stopped processing. I watched him with a confused expression as I slowly took the tickets from him.
"They're even VIP tickets," He watched me as I took the ticket from him, and then examining his own ticket, "Free to choose any session of the week. Woah, how'd your friend get this?"
"…" I remained in a daze.
"So let's watch it the day after the next?"
"Hey, Byun Baek Hyun."
"Huh."
"I said, let's go watch this musical the day after next," He waved the ticket.
"…The day after next," I nodded immediately, "Sure sure."
"Don't forget." He stuffed the ticket into his jeans pocket and walked slowly out of the room.
As I clutched tickets tightly, barely able to believe anything that has happened.
My heart felt as if it has been penetrated by a ray of light, spreading joy all around. I felt ecstatic, so much that I wanted to leap onto the bed and scream as I roll in it.
Ah…I'm too fucking easy.
I chided myself as I secretly looked forward.
— The day after next.
— Please come fast.
[After a very long time when we reminiscenced the past, he smiled as he exposed himself.
— Back then I was afraid you'd decline me.
— Even though I knew you'd agree. But I just…
— I was nervous for no reason.
— My palms were sweating as I was holding the ticket.]
Evening at seven o'clock, I put on my snapback and entered the theatre – just as it was about to start.
Chanyeol would be coming straight from filming, and when I got there, he was already at his seat.
He was wearing a snapback too as he waved at me to get my attention.
I walked towards him and sat down. I was slightly nervous at the thought of having to sit silent next to him for the next two hours. I felt my heart beat fast.
"Have you eaten?" He leaned close and asked in a low voice.
"Yeah, I've eaten."
"But I haven't."
"…Then what should we do?"
"Have a meal with me when we finish."
"Sure."
I smiled to myself involuntarily at the thought of being to be with him for a longer while.
The theatre was suddenly filled with a romantic tune, the dark maroon curtains on the stage drew open. The dazzling female lead sat lazily in the centre of the stage.
I cut conversations with him and started to enjoy the story.
Barely half an hour into the musical, Park Chanyeol leaned towards me again, and asked, "Hey, isn't that that woman," He pointed to the actress who entered the stage, "Oh yeah, Jang Eun Won. She's a pretty famous actress."
I looked closely.
"I…don't think so."
"Tsk, how could it not be her. It's definitely her. It's just that her makeup is a little strange."
"It's definitely not her, her name isn't even in the cast credits," I looked at the information brochure in my hands, but I could barely see in the dark theatre.
"I bet you it's her."
"I don't think so, I've eaten with her, I know her."
"You've eaten with her? When?" He turned around to look at me, voice slightly raised.
Just as I was about to reply, someone seated in front of us turned around to glare at us.
We immediately lowered our caps.
When he turned back around, Park Chanyeol asked me, in an even lower voice.
"Search it online, it should be her."
"Oh."
I took my phone out, I was vaguely disappointed by the 1% shown near the battery. Why did I forget to charge my phone?
I immediately typed in the name of the musical in the search bar, but before the page could load, my screened blacked off.
…All the battery was used up.
I had to put my phone away.
"Did you find it?" He asked as he continued to watch the act.
"Use mine." He tossed his phone to me.
I continued to search for the musical.
After reading through the information of "La Vie En Rose"s musical and its songs, I gained more understanding towards the musical.
"See, I told you so —" I was holding his phone for him to see when the display image changed.
The phone in my hand vibrated as a picture of pretty girl came into my sight.
It was Hayeon. Hayeon called.
I froze, I felt him by my side do the same when he saw the arriving call.
In the past two months, Hayeon has yet to be brought up between us. This unexpected situation made both of us feel slightly awkward.
He tried to bury the awkwardness by letting out a few coughs, he took the phone from me silently and walked out of the theatre.
I could predict what would happen next.
I did feel slightly upset.
After a while, Chanyeol returned, but he did not seat down. Instead, he leaned down and whispered beside my ear, "I'm leaving for a while."
"…Oh."
"I'll be back soon, wait for me."
"Okay." I nodded. Before I could say "bye", he walked away.
I saw his back view disappear into the distance then turn back to the front.
There was no one on the stage, but the props forged a busy yet lonely street.
Park Chanyeol did not appear even when the near 2 hour musical ended.
I lowered my snapback again and followed the crowd out of the theatre. I felt slightly lost as I stood at the entrance of the theatre.
It was probably already nine as I predicted since I was unable to check the time or contact Park Chanyeol with my battery-less phone.
Furthermore, he's probably with Hayeon at the moment, how could I disturb them.
The night was cold, and I didn't walk far, afraid that he would leave when he return to see no one at the theatre. I lowered my head and leaned against the door, looking around carefully from time to time.
It feels like I've been waiting for a very long time.
I've waited for the session's crowd to clear away. I've waited for the new batch of audience to arrive. I've waited for the carefully crafted performance to unveil in front of many pairs of new eyes.
— I don't think he'll return.
I told myself.
But I couldn't bring myself to leave. His whisper of "wait for me" seemed to have cast a spell on me, making me unable to end the wait.
Only when I unknowingly brought my hand up to press on my stomach, I realised that my gastric pains had resurfaced.
But I'm used to pain. This time, it is probably because of the cold weather. I gritted my teeth and pressed down on the source of pain.
From my corner vision however, I saw someone hesitantly watching me.
I turned around to see a little girl standing there.
Her initial response when I noticed her was shock, but she immediately ran up to me excitedly.
"Oh my god, oh my god. It's Baekhyun Oppa." She rushed up and grabbed my arm, but immediately let go when she realised that her actions were inappropriate.
I forced a smile at her.
"Baekhyun Oppa, it's been so long since we last saw you! You were in the hospital?"
"Um…about this…" I smiled bitterly. I was unsure of how to reply.
"Are you very sick? You don't look very well…" Her expression showed worry.
"Nah, it's nothing major." I assured her.
"Oh yeah! I almost forgot!" Her animated actions did seem rather endearing, "It's such an important thing!"
"Baekhyun Oppa happy birthday!"
I paused, then followed by a smile.
"Thank you."
She knocked her head regretfully, "I didn't know I'd meet oppa today, I didn't prepare anything for you!"
"It's okay —"
I was interrupted by her before I could finish. She used my hand to search in her bag and retrieved a small notebook.
"Oppa could you please sign for me?"
I took the notebook and the pen. Just as my hand left my stomach, I felt the cold spread in my body. As I had managed to warm the area, the wind felt even colder in comparison.
— Looks like it was never supposed to be warm in the first place.
I completed the signature as I let my mind wander.
"Ah! Thank you so much Oppa!" She took her notebook back, but had no intention of leaving.
"What is Oppa doing here?" She asked, "Are you going to watch a musical?"
"No…I'm waiting for someone."
Her eyes were filled with curiosity, "A friend?"
But I could tell she probably meant "girlfriend".
Just as I was about to reply, my arm was grabbed onto from the back.
The voice was slightly panting as it travelled into my ears.
"I'm back."
The girl in front of me widened her eyes, "…Chanyeol Oppa."
Park Chanyeol bowed a little at her politely, "Hello." His smile was enchanting.
— Enchanting. My beloved Chanyeol. I tilted my head to watch him, his eyes were still dazzling hidden under the shelter of his snapback in the dark and heavy night.
"We're leaving first, be careful on your way back!" Before the girl could react, he had pulled me away.
I staggered behind him as I heard his deep voice melt into the night.
"Sorry, I made you wait long."
"…It's okay."
"Let's go eat something, I know there's a nice stall near our dorm."
"You weren't unrecognised right. Why did you just stand there foolishly."
"…Oh."
Because I'm afraid you won't be able to find me.
Due to the pain in my stomach, I could barely reply him. He seemed to have notice that I was abnormal and stopped in his steps to turn to look at me.
"…Angry?"
"….No."
Why would I be angry? The fact that you've returned to look for me is enough to keep me happy for a very long time.
"Then you —" He looked at me, confused, coming closer to me.
I tried to avoid his gaze.
"…Your gastric pains are back?"
Am I hallucinating? His tone was full of worry.
"No…"
"What the hell do you mean by no? Your face is pale," He watched me, "Lets go back."
Go back? How can that be?
This is our first date. Being greedy, I didn't want it to end just yet.
"…It's nothing much…" I started to get panic, and tried my best to smile at him, "I'll be fine after drinking some warm water…"
"No, you already —"
"Please," I forced the smile as I looked at him pleadingly, "…Just for a bit more, a bit more."
He watched me, not speaking for some time.
At last, he sighed.
"You fool."
There wasn't much people in the small yet brightly lit eatery, especially since it was already 10 on a weekday.
We sat at the corner of the shop as I slowly sipped on a cup of hot water. It did lessen the pain.
When I put the cup down, I saw Park Chanyeol sitting in front of me staring directly at me, it made me feel rather uncomfortable.
"Why aren't you eating," I pointed at the bowl of noodles in front of him, "It's getting cold."
"Oh." He simply replied before breaking apart the disposable chopsticks to stir the noodles.
But he did not eat them.
"…Because it was cold right?" He suddenly asked.
"Huh?" I could not understand what he was referring to.
"Your gastric pain was because you stood there too long in the cold weather, am I right?" He sounded slightly unhappy, "I remember the doctor told you that you should take note of the food you consume, and wear lots of clothes to prevent yourself from getting too cold."
I watched him.
He actually remembered.
"Your pain just now…was because I made you wait for too long right?"
"No no," I immediately shook my head, "Sometimes it just starts to hurt for no reason, it's definitely not because of that."
His lips was pressed into a thin line, expression unreadable.
Just then, his phone rang.
He looked down and took his phone out.
I felt my heart clench.
— Will he leave again after the call? Like just now.
I watched him nervously with the cup held tightly in my hands.
"Hello, Luhan Hyung."
Ah, it isn't her…
"Yeah, I'm together with him right now," He watched my as he spoke, "His phone ran out of battery."
Suddenly, his expression changed to look rather strange, he did not speak for some time, as if he was frozen in his spot.
After a while, he replied, "Oh…okay…I've got it."
After he hung up, I asked, "It was Luhan Hyung right? Is everything okay?"
He watched me with even more bewilderedness, "Yah! Byun Baekhyun you…!"
He suddenly shouted at me.
I got a shock.
"Today is your birthday?"
"Uhh…Yeah."
"The hell, you bastard…why didn't you tell me!"
23 [Park Chan Yeol] May Sixth
2010 —
"Happy Birthday!"
He was the last to enter our group; the rookies amongst the trainees didn't exactly have much better of a life than the rookies amongst the real idol industry. No one was close with each other yet, it felt more like "so we're going to debut together, and help each other in the future". On his birthday, it was Luhan Hyung's idea - everyone pretended to be cold and unwelcoming to Byun Baekhyun in the day, until at night when the lights of the practice room were switched off and Sehun emerged with a candle-lit cake.
The candle light illuminated Byun Baekhyun's smile. His eyes were gleaming too.
"Happy birthday!" The May Sixth of that year, we surrounded him, our cheers engulfing our lively yet fragile youth.
2012 —
"I want to give myself to him as a gift."
It was his first birthday celebration after our debut. The fans below the stage were holding all forms of banners and gifts for him. And Sehun had somehow exposed that I failed to prepare a gift for Byun Baekhyun. Towards the fans who were shouting in unhappiness, he could only smile awkwardly. I walked towards him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders as if we were close, his body tensed up in response.
"I want to give myself to him as a gift." I said. The May Sixth of that year, amongst the fan's enthusiastic shouts, our smiles fooled the whole world.
2013 —
If someone were to ask of his birthday, I would struggle to remember.
— Was it May Sixth? It seems so.
But when the day came, I failed to associate it to "his birthday".
How do I define the passing of time?
It is the number that lights up and dies down on your handphone screen. It is the shared bedroom that darkens at dusk then lightens again at dawn. It is the mindless flipping of the calendar. But those circled dated marked significant never involved you.
May Sixth this year, he sits before me, sipping on a cup of warm water while I listened to Luhan Hyung on the other side of the phone.
"I thought he wouldn't be out tonight, so I even bought a cake with Sehun. We wanted to celebrate before we leave."
"We have a flight tonight remember? There's a show overseas."
"Then tell him that I wish him happy birthday."
"It's fine as long as you're with him. Kyungsoo went to Busan for filming, I was just afraid Baekhyun would return to an empty house. You're celebrating with him outside?"
"…Don't tell me you forgot his birthday? You dumb shit."
"You won't remember unless we throw a party huh?"
I was rooted for a moment until I finally spoke up to stop Luhan Hyung's nags.
"Alright…I've got it." I hung up.
So…Today is your birthday.
How come I had no idea?
"Today is your birthday?"
"Uhh…Yeah."
"The hell, you bastard…why didn't you tell me!"
It felt as if I've gotten used to unleashing my anger on him, even though it was my own fault.
He looked at me helplessly.
"A…About this, I…uh, sorry."
I was suddenly reminded of when I asked him to watch the musical along with me. When I told him to have it dated today, he looked for a slight moment, shocked.
…It can't be that he thought I had chosen this date to celebrate his birthday with him?
I felt a little frustrated at myself. But I had completely forgotten about his birthday. Since this was already the case, I might as well come clean, "I didn't prepare any presents…"
"You don't have to."
"…Did anyone celebrate with you already?"
"I heard that the fans had a gathering to celebrate my birthday," He seemed happy as he thought about it, but immediately kept his smile away when he saw my displeased expression.
"Uh…Is it…" He asked me carefully, "that you're unhappy because it's my birthday?"
It did seem so.
"Let's not talk about this anymore," He tried to talk about something else, "So today you— "
"I want to talk about this."
"Huh?"
I grabbed my chopsticks and picked up a strand of noodle carefully from my bowl.
"Eat this as a representation*, birthday boy." I gave it to him, "I know you can't eat much when it's late, but just eat it to fulfil it's purpose. — Hey stop stoning. Quick."
"Oh oh oh," He immediately leaned in, and took it with his lips before sucking it up.
— Like a small animal.
"Ok, now you'll live long." I reached forward to pinch his cheeks. He shuddered a bit before letting a little flush onto his cheeks.
"Thank you." He said with his eyes lowered.
I watched his shy expression, it suddenly seemed…kind of cute.
"I'll…gift you a wish."
"A wish?"
"Yeah, as I gift," I nodded, "I'll make a wish of yours come true."
He watched me with wide eyes.
"Anything?"
"As long as I can do it."
"Hmmm…" He sank into deep thought.
"I'm Genie for you boy~" I watched him, humming a song of Girl's Generation. It made him giggle.
"Quick, tell me."
"…I'm thinking," He scratched his head, "Anything? For real?"
"Yeah."
"Then…," He bit his lips and asked carefully, "Can we go on a date again?"
That's it?
I looked at him, puzzled.
He continued to watch me carefully, "Will that be possible?"
I nodded.
"When?" I asked him.
"I get to decide that?"
"Duh."
"Then…" He thought about it, "One month later?"
"Huh?"
"Why? Is that not possible?"
"…Alright, then one month later," How peculiar, "June Sixth?"
"Uh, yeah, yeah," He nodded, and immediately pressed down the uplifted corners of his lips.
You're that happy eh?
Even after how I've just ruined our first date ever.
Despite so, you're still looking forward to the next one?
"Next time, let's go watch a musical again, since I didn't finish it this time," I suggested.
I didn't finish it with you.
"Sure," He nodded, "But I'm not sure what musicals will be showing then."
"Anything is fine."
He nodded again, this time with a smile.
"Oh yeah, what happened in the end?" I asked.
"Huh?"
"La Vie En Rose. What was the ending?"
"Uh…In the end, the female lead became a famous singer," He thought for a while, "But she didn't have a smooth love life, her lover died, and so did she, after falling sick soon after."
"…That was so…brief."
"But that was what happened."
"Thank goodness I didn't finish it."
"Uh…"
— I'm satisfied.
He lay on the bed, as he gazed at me with a smile.
— Do you still remember La Vie En Rose? The story that I told you it's ending.
— Even a difficult life like that in the story, can still be referred as one like a rose.
— So, I'm satisfied.
— As long as we can love like this.
Byun Baekhyun…You moron.
He watched me, suddenly panicking, and reached his hand up to touch my face.
— Don't cry…Hey… be happy!
When we reached the dorm, it was already over eleven.
A cake was placed on the table, I suppose by Sehun and Luhan.
Byun Baekhyun walked towards it and picked up the card beside it before reading it attentively.
I joined in. Those dudes even wrote birthday greetings for him, even Kyungsoo who left last night.
Why didn't they invite me.
He put the card down, but his bright smile made me feel slightly strange.
…Looks like, I'm not the only one who can bring you happiness.
And, they do it so much better that I can ever.
The thought made me feel frustrated and angered.
"Let's eat the cake?" He suggested with a smile.
"Eat? It's late, I thought you aren't supposed to?" I did not sound particularly kind.
He did not understand why I was suddenly displeased, "…A little bit won't hurt."
I watched his face as he questioned me, his lowered eyes made him look kind of innocent.
"…Eat it then," I reached out to take some icing with my fingers and smeared it on his face.
He failed to dodge in time, and got icing across his cheeks.
I laughed as I looked at his face, I got more icing on my finger again and reached out to try to smear it across his face again.
"Hey don't —" This time, he avoided my attack. But I did not think of letting him go, as I chased after him.
He tried to dodge as he attempted to do the same to me with his icing coated fingertip.
We chased each around for a while.
He ended up pressed against the wall.
"Do you still want to run away." The icing on my finger was all over his face. His left cheek and right jaw was coated with two strip of pale white icing.
He laughed as he tried to attack me while I grabbed his wrist in time and pressed it onto the wall.
Our quick breaths from the chase gradually slowed down, the intimate position we were in made the atmosphere slightly strange. The tip of my nose was almost in contact with the hair of his forehead.
I watched his fluttering eyelashes up close.
I continued to watch him as I spoke.
"Did you know, Byun Baekhyun."
Why is my heart beating fast.
"You jerk, you're really good looking."
He looked up, looking at me with confused eyes.
— Don't you get what I just said? Fool.
— I just said that you're really good looking.
I pulled his hand up slowly and placed his icing-coated finger between my lips.
I sucked it gently as if I were eating delicate pastry.
— He tastes like icing.
I thought.
Afterwards, I leaned in and whispered in his ear, word by word.
"I. Want. To. Eat. You. Up."
Anyone could hear the teasing amongst those words.
He didn't move, lowering eyes, no longer looking at me.
I moved closer towards him and kissed the icing off his cheek. Brushing my lips across his as I travelled towards his jaw, collecting the icing there with the tip of my tongue.
His body shuddered a little and closed his eyes immediately.
"Are you still afraid of me?"
I gently kissed his eyelids.
"…Don't be."
Another kiss fell on the tip of his nose.
"Right now,"
I leaned close to his lips.
"I quite like you."
My last words made him open his eyes wide in shock, at the same time filled with disbelief. Before he could respond, the next second, I've already caught his lips with mine.
I gently pulled him away from the wall towards myself as my hand travelled upwards, fingers placing itselves amongst his soft hair.
I've never kissed him like that.
His lips were warm and likable.
As our lips embraced, lust spread like wildfire. I reached a hand downwards to unbuckle his belt. Instinctively, he tried to stop me.
"Don't move," I muttered against the kiss, it was slurry.
I continued, pulling down his pants and reached my hand into his briefs, grabbing the heat.
"Ah…" He moaned into my lips.
I caressed his desire, gradually increasing in speed.
He could hold back no longer. He broke away from the kiss and threw his head back, gasping in pleasure, as I continued to attend to his needs.
At last, he released himself under my touch. Leaning down, he rested his head against my shoulder.
I turned to face him, gently kissing the frame of his ear, occasionally swiping across it with my tongue.
"Do you feel good."
I asked him softly.
"Now, it's my turn."
24 [Park Chanyeol] Two ends of the balance
I lifted up the man who was leaning limply against my chest and carried him into our shared bedroom. I put him down on the bed and immediately climbed on top of him.
I kissed him softly. This time, I wanted to be gentle.
Even though I was kissing him gently, he did not dare touch me. Instead, he clutched onto the hem of him own shirt, as if it was a habit from my normal aggression.
I let go of his lips and started to unbutton his shirt.
"I used to hurt you" I whispered in a soft voice, "all the time, am I right."
"…" He bit his lips and remained silent.
I tugged his shirt off. His body beneath the cloth looked especially thin, thinner than what I remembered. I could see the curve of his protruding bones, and the paleness of his body.
There was still the tiny scar from the incision of his previous surgery. I could still remember vaguely, how there used to be lines and dents of muscles on his slim wrist, but now, he looked sickly and weak.
Since he was admitted to the hospital I had not touched him. I knew he was losing weight rapidly, but I had no idea that the body hidden under his clothes was this emaciate.
If his body was like this, no matter how gently I treat him, it'd be considered harm.
"How did you become so skinny?" I asked with a frown.
My prolonged gaze made him shy. He grabbed the clothes beside him and covered his body, then lowered his eyes, not looking at him.
"It must look really ugly."
I sighed and lifted the clothing above his body.
Then I lowered my body and kissed him again.
"If it hurts, tell me."
As if he had not understood what I just said, he turned his head to the side as soon as our eyes met.
I leaned forward to kiss his neck as my hand reached into his pants. I used a finger to start to stretch him. He frowned from the foreign object inside of him.
I kissed the corner of his eyes again as I reached another finger in.
"…Ahhh…" He let out a soft moan with his face flushed.
He looked beautiful.
"Does it feel okay now?" I asked as I inserted the third finger.
I heard the way the question left my mouth, it sounded slightly hoarse with a hint of impatience. Was Park Chanyeol born impatient? But with this guy, I thought I should start to contain myself.
He looked at me, after hesitating for a while, he spoke in a soft voice, "You…don't…You don't have to do this…"
"…No it's okay."
"Just, just like how you used to, it's fine…You'll…feel really uncomfortable like this…" He said with much care.
"Like how I used to? But, but then you'll feel uncomfortable."
"I'll be fine."
I felt a certain rush of feelings in my heart.
I did not reply, but watched him. He looked as if he was trying to gather courage, then he watched me cautiously as he reached his hand downwards to touch my rising desire.
In a few strokes, I was at my brink. I cursed in a low voice as I removed my fingers, and thrust into the heat. His walls contracted such that I let out a groan in pleasure, at the same time I heard his moans as well.
"…Ah…"
I leaned down and opened up his lips with a scorching kiss, his soft moans fell into my mouth.
"Louder," I said as our lips separated, looking into his glistening eyes.
"…Ah..."
"Baekhyun-ah."
"…Hng…Ahh…"
"Call my name."
"Chan…Chanyeol…A-Ahhh"
I was satisfied as I continued on with the rhythmic thrusts. But I saw his eyes tear up.
Then a drop of tear rolled down.
"It still hurts?" I stopped immediately and asked him with a frown.
"N-No," He shook his head immediately, and wiped his tears, "…It doesn't hurt at all."
"Then why are you crying?"
"…Don't mind me…"
I smiled, and arched my back to push my heat into his and continued on from just now.
"Ah!" He called out, unprepared. But he bit his lips immediately.
"Does it still hurt?" I teased.
He shook his head.
His warm body seemed as if it held a spell, constantly drawing me in and I let myself be absorbed in all his beauty.
"Chanyeol…I…Ah…C-can I hug you?" His sentence was shattered by my forceful drives into him. I spoke nothing but pull his arms up to be wrapped around my neck.
I was in endless desire.
Afterwards, I let myself go in him. I lay down on my side and pulled him into my embrace, remembering to pull a part of the blanket over to cover him.
He was still recovering. With his half-opened eyes, he gasped softly.
"Am I dreaming?" He asked.
"No."
He opened his eyes and looked at me, "When tomorrow comes…will you still be like this?"
"Yeah."
He closed his eyes again out of tiredness.
"How nice."
I kissed his forehead.
"Hey, happy birthday."
"Chanyeol-ah, wake up." Someone called me softly.
It was Byun Baekhyun.
I was still feeling tired. I fidgeted with my brows knitted and changed my sleep position.
"…Chanyeol," He was hesitant but he gently nudged me with his finger.
"…yeah…" I replied lazily.
"Wake up, you have a schedule to attend to soon."
"Give me a kiss. Then I'll wake up."
"Huh?"
"The prince woke up when the princess kissed him." I said, with my eyes still closed.
"…It's the opposite."
"No, you remembered wrong." Now I was fully awake, but I didn't want to open my eyes until he completed my request.
I could hear the smile in his words, "There's no princess, here's just the frog."
I kept still for a moment and then leaped up to grab him into a kiss.
"Alright, now you're my princess." I stretched my arms and shouted energetically, "Awake!"
I was on my way to wash up, but as I passed by the living room someone entered our dorm.
"Tae Shin Hyung?"
Baekhyun who was standing by the room door paused as well. It felt weird as if we had been caught in the act.
But that was not the case, it was just myself acting up.
"Jong Woo…he didn't bring you to the shoot?"
Jong Woo was my new assistant that the company had assigned. After we've started promoting separately, Tae Shin Hyung had been more involved in Kyungsoo's schedules while the rest of us were assigned assistants.
"He'll be coming later," I scratched my head, "Is Kyungsoo back from Busan yet?"
"He's back yesterday but he went over to his parents' house."
…I thanked Kyungsoo in my heart, what an observant boy.
Then Tae Shin turned to Baekhyun, "Baekhyun, follow me."
"Huh? Where are we going?"
"Didn't you see my text?" Tae Shin Hyung frowned, "Seriously, I called you yesterday but you didn't pick up, and now you're telling me you've not even read my text?"
"Ah, my phone was flat…" He smiled apologetically.
"You really – " Tae Shin Hyung wanted to chide him, "Nevermind, since you should be done resting by now, you're following me to the company today. Remember the OST thing I told you last time? It's about that. We might need you to finish the recording today."
"Huh? Right now?" I could tell that Baekhyun did not expect this.
I helped him, "Can't he record another day?"
"Why another day?" Tae Shin Hyung looked at us with a puzzled expression, in the end his gaze landed on Byun Baek Hyun.
"You don't feel well again?"
"No, no, I'll go get ready right now."
"Alright, I'll be waiting in the car," Tae Shin Hyung said before leaving.
When I was done washing up, Baekhyun was already dressed and ready to leave.
"…Are you really fine?" I asked him softly as I watched him.
Realising what I was trying to ask, his cheeks instantly flushed.
"Yeah, f-fine."
I found his reaction amusing. I pulled him into a hug and lowered my head to kiss him softly.
His response was still a little edgy and tense.
It was as if I had found a "How to handle Byun Baekhyun" manual. I instantly realised that his reactions to my gentle treatment as compared to my aggression made me a lot more satisfied and feel much better.
"I'm leaving," He gently pushed me away with his eyes lowered.
I nodded, staring at his moist lips.
"Do a good job, I'm going to be starring in that drama after all."
He smiled, "Alright."
While I was at the film set that evening, I received a call from Luhan Hyung.
"So did you eat the cake," He asked slowly.
"Yeah…Some of it."
"I thought you'd play around and end up smashing it," He said with a small laugh.
"When are you coming back?" His words and tone made me feel a little uncomfortable, I tried to change the topic.
"We're at the airport, our flight's soon – what the fuck Oh Sehun, sit properly! There are cameras!"
Luhan Hyung's chiding popped up out of nowhere, then I heard Sehun ask "Is that Chanyeol Hyung on the other end?". Afterwards, it was him on the phone with me instead.
"Yah, Hyung," He shot me the question, "You went to watch a musical with Baekhyun Hyung?"
I looked at the phone strangely, "Wait what…how did you know?"
"There were pictures by fans. Hyung don't you ever surf the internet?"
- Don't you ever surf the internet.
Those words sounded familiar, as if I've heard them somewhere before.
The image suddenly appeared. It was Hayeon in the middle of filming an emotional scene.
When the director shouted 'action', her tear immediately flowed down. Alongside the impactful script, the whole scene seemed so real and raw.
"I did those things, it was all for you…" Hayeon cried towards the camera.
I watched her, a little stunned.
On May Sixth, I hurriedly left the theatre with my phone in hand, got in a cab and arrived at a rather plain looking café.
At the corner of the place sat Hayeon, she was silent yet with tears streaming down her face.
"What happened?" I looked around to make sure there were no others and sat down opposite her.
She tried to force a smile yet more tears started to pour out.
"I…was supposed to film a crying scene today, and…and…no matter what the tears just wouldn't come out."
I gently stroked her back, "And you were scolded by the director?"
She nodded.
"He was so fucking horrible…he doesn't even care how I would feel, s-scolding me in front of all those people."
"Let's not be upset anymore, okay? We're bound to experience these things," I tried to comfort her.
She burst out crying again, sniffling and coughing as she said, "Now I know…know how difficult it was for you…were, were you always scolded like that too?"
I smiled at her and teased her, "Yeah, but I didn't cry as much as you do."
"Shut up, you're annoying me," She said, lips forming a purse, looking as if she could start crying anytime.
"Don't cry anymore," I reached out to pinch her nose but she had avoided it swiftly.
"Don't touch it, I've just got fillers for them the other day…"
I paused for a second, "You're already so pretty, you didn't have to."
She shot me a glance, "But you couldn't tell the procedure."
"Because there wasn't a noticeable change."
She didn't speak for quite a while, only speaking after she's dried her tears.
"What have you up too these days, when you aren't shooting."
"Uh…I go to the company to practice."
"Before you started the shooting too?"
"Huh?"
"During then, you couldn't meet be because you were always busy, was it because of practice too?"
Was she referring to when…Baekhyun was hospitalised?
"Uh…yeah." I answered, feeling a little guilty.
She suddenly smiled, "Oppa don't you ever surf the internet?"
"…" I didn't understand what she meant.
"Nothing." She shook her head before turning to face me again.
"From now on I'll work hard, Oppa."
"That's great attitude," I stroked her hair with a smile.
"I tried so hard to debut, was because I wanted to stand next to you; I wanted to become prettier, more outstanding, all because of you."
I watched her expression. I was touched, yet somehow I felt guilty.
"That's why, Oppa, you can't let me down," She was trying to sound cute yet I could sense the seriousness in her expression.
"I won't." I answered instinctively, yet I felt my heart become heavier.
You see, there are so many eyes all around us, our stories would always be presented to the world through the lenses of other people.
Both of you, I want to hide away from the world.
It is difficult for me now to balance.