Chapter 20: Haldir's Back!
By Elf from DownUnder
20. Do not ask Haldir to give you a piggy back
Merry, Sam and Frodo were well hidden behind a statue in Caras Galadhon. Frodo gave Celeborn's guide a rather doubtful look, and then looked at Haldir, who was standing between two tall trees. Haldir looked rather bored, and as Merry pointed out before, it was a great chance to strike.
"I don't think this will work." Frodo stated.
"Trust me, it will. Pippin went through his lines for hours," Merry assured.
"Well," Frodo sighed. "This will be interesting."
They waited a little longer for Pippin's big scene.
"Pip should be on in three … two …"
"I NEED TO PEE! I NEED TO PEE!" Pippin screamed, running around with his arms flailing in the air.
Merry grinned. "Knew we could count on him!"
Haldir gave the screaming hobbit an incredulous look. "Huh? Is that ..."
"I NEED TO PEE NOW!" Pippin purposely ran straight into Haldir, causing the two of them tumble over each other.
The Marchwarden cursed as he stood up, rubbing his temple. "Don't you hobbits ever watch where you're going?" he scowled.
Pippin didn't stand, however. Instead he sniffed and after many acting lessons from Merry, managed to pull off a very well staged performed sob. "My ankle … I think I twisted it."
"Twisted it? Oh, you can't be serious!"
"Oh, but I am!" Pippin rubbed his eyes. "I'm very serious! And now I can't stand up!"
"Well, here's a suggestion. Go and drag yourself."
Behind the statue, Sam looked at Haldir in disbelief. "Wow. He's much smarter than he looks."
Merry shook his head. "Don't worry. Pip will be able to come up with something."
"But I can't drag myself!" Pippin dramatically cried. "I will get stepped on by all the elves!"
Haldir glared at him. "No you won't. Now stop wasting my time – I've got better things to do."
The fool of a Took gave the cold hearted elf his best puppy dog eyes. "Please … Haldir sir … can you give me a piggy back?"
Haldir blinked. "A what?"
"A piggy back! Can you carry me to where all the food is?"
"Don't you need the bathroom?"
"Er, I kinda don't need to go anymore ..." Pippin then grinned. "So, about this piggy back ride ..."
"No way." Haldir made a move to walk off, but caught a glimpse of Pippin's professional puppy dog eyes face. He sighed. "Fine."
Pippin's face immediately brightened. "YAY!"
Haldir just rolled his eyes. "I'm going to regret this later ..."
A few hours later
Haldir was right – he was going to regret it later. After leaving the 'injured' hobbit at the food pavilion (who was probably going to eat Lothlorien out of house and home), he bumped into his brothers, who were smirking and laughing endlessly.
"What's so funny?" Haldir wondered.
Orophin shook his head. "Oh, nothing. It's just that you looked like such a softie with that hobbit on your back!"
"You saw that, did you?" Haldir groaned. He hated his brothers sometimes.
Rumil nodded. "Yup! Looked like you wouldn't hurt a fly!"
"Can I have the next piggy back, brother mine?" Orophin asked, an innocent smile upon his face.
Haldir faked a smile. "Sure … and I'll dump you defenceless at an orc camp while I'm at it!"
Elf from downunder: ...that was rather fun to write ^_^
Archet: *laughing too hard to reply* AWESOME