Chapter 14
The whole thing happened so quickly that neither of them understood it completely until it was done. Then, shocked, they both just held still for a long time. Spiller rested his cheek against Arrietty's hair and buried his forehead in the pillow. She kept her hands on his back and her eyes closed. She could not have been cold with Spiller covering her like one of the quilts Miss Menzies made, but after awhile she shivered anyway, and Spiller finally raised his head and sheepishly brushed a lock of hair off her forehead.
"Ari, are you all right?"
She didn't open her eyes, but spoke fiercely, so fiercely he winced when he heard how fierce her voice was. "No, I am not all right. I trusted you, Spiller. And I trusted myself. I never thought of myself as the kind of girl who…no. I am not all right."
He levered himself up onto his elbows. "Ari, it is going to be all right. I promise. I love you and I'm pretty sure you love me and we're getting married. We can get married as soon as we get back to the mill if you want. We just have to tell your parents…"
Arrietty, whose eyes had popped open, threw his arms tightly around him and sliding one behind his head, pulled his mouth down to hers. "Spiller! Oh, Spiller!" She kissed him hard, completely confusing him, because the anger in her voice had been unmistakable just a few moments before.
"Whaaaa?" He started to say when the kiss finally ended.
"You said you love me! You have never said you loved me, Spiller!"
He rolled his eyes. This was beyond ridiculous. "Of course I love you! Always have and always will. Since the moment I met you when we fell out of that tree. Laughed, I did, because deep down I knew it then. Last thing I ever expected. Yes, I love you. You just figuring that out now?"
"No, I knew that, but it's so nice to hear it! To really, really hear it!"
She kissed him again and he kissed her back, and they wound up making love again. They took more time at it, got more used to it, and both enjoyed it a lot more. When it was done Spiller collapsed beside her.
"Arrietty Clock, I do love you, with all of my heart, but don't think I'll ever understand you. Always one surprise after another!"
"Do you mind?" Arrietty asked, rolling onto her side, putting one hand on his chest and looking into his face.
"No," Spiller had to admit. "I wouldn't try to change a single thing about you."
"I wouldn't try to change a single thing about you, either. I know sometimes it seems like I don't understand the way you live but I'm trying, Spiller. I do like most of it, you know."
"I know," he said, kissing her forehead.
"You don't have to marry me as soon as we get back to the mill," Arrietty told him putting her head on his shoulder. "Let's wait until you get back and are there for the winter to talk about it. Maybe we can convince Mother and Papa that there's no reason to wait until spring. Both of us are still going to feel the same way about each other this winter as we do in the spring. That's soon enough to ask. I don't want to have to start anything with Mother and Papa when you have to go off on another trip."
"All right," Spiller said drowsily, not looking forward to that conversation, either. "But there's one thing I'm sure of."
"What?" Arrietty asked, puzzled.
"If I have to pick a new birthday, I'm picking today. This is the day my new life starts. Never mind anything that happened in the old one. This one will be better than anything I've ever had before."
"Oh Spiller, that's so sweet," Arrietty said, but he fell sound asleep as Arrietty was drawing the covers over them.
When she woke in the morning, Spiller was watching her sleep. "I love you," he said.
"Don't start that again!" Arrietty said drowsily.
"No?"
"I'm just teasing you," she answered, and reached up to stroke his rough cheek. He turned his head and his black eyes bored into hers.
"Ari, never forget I love you. You're mine now and always will be. There's no way back. It's done." He leaned down to kiss her, sliding his hand over her. It was a full hour later when she finally sat up and said, "I'm starving. Let's go see what Arista has for breakfast," Spiller swung his legs over the bed and started digging around on the floor for his trousers.
Arrietty paled. "Oh, Spiller, do you think they know?" She wasn't ashamed of what they had done but she really wasn't ready to discuss it in detail with anyone else. It was something private and special, that she wanted to keep between the two of them, at least for awhile.
"I doubt it. This room's too far away from their room, and even if they did, don't think it would surprise them or that they'd care, not that it's any of their business. It's nobody's business but yours and mine. Changes everything, though. That is does. Ari, I still think we need to get married."
"We will eventually," she answered as she looked around. "I think I have all of my things. I'll go use the bathroom first if that's all right. I really need to."
Spiller sighed. "Mean it, Ari. Should tell Pod, I should, and we should just go ahead and do it. What if…" Spiller hesitated. "What if something happened?"
It took a minute for this to register with Arrietty, and she swallowed hard, but then she shrugged."We won't know that for awhile. A few days won't matter, and anyway," she added mischievously, as she opened the door, "perhaps you'll wind up matchmaking for Arista's and ours." She was gone before Spiller could groan.
When Arrietty got to the bathroom and found blood she was confused. Her monthly had just ended and she didn't know why it was starting again. Arista was happy to help her out, since Arista certainly didn't need any of those kinds of supplies at the moment, but Arrietty was even more confused when the bleeding didn't continue.
When she and Spiller were both as presentable as they could make themselves they went into the kitchen where Arista was frying potatoes and eggs. "Everything all right now?" Arista asked Arrietty with a wink.
"Yes, and this all smells wonderful," Arrietty said quickly, and offered to help. Arista asked her to make tea so Arrietty put the water on to heat and got the teapot ready.
Spiller went in to help Burgonet, who was setting the table for his wife, but he was almost done. "How long are you two planning on staying?" Burgonet asked, worried, as he put down the last plate. "That bedroom gets cold in the winter and winter's here."
"Just came to give you the baby presents Miss Menzies made," Spiller said, looking up as Arrietty brought out the tea. "Need to get back to the mill right away. Pod and Homily are probably worried sick wondering where we are. Been gone much longer than I wanted to be, and besides, I have one more trip I want to get in before the snow gets deep. I want to go check on Halberd and Hemiola at the stove before we settle in for the winter. I think they'll be all right but I'd feel better if I could just see them one more time."
Burgonet dropped his voice as they both sat down. "That Miss of yours is a wonder. She's the tamest human I've ever seen. At her age, too! I can't believe all the work she put into those things."
"Glad she's good at it," Spiller muttered as he poured tea. "Never know when you're going to need something like that."
Arista waddled in then, carrying the platter of eggs. "Like what?"
"We were talking about the baby things the human made," Burgonet said. "She did a good job."
"We don't need anything else, though," Arista said, looking at Spiller puzzled. "Why would you want more? Do you think Halberd and his wife will be having children right away?"
"No clue," said Spiller, gulping a huge mouthful of the hot tea, burning his tongue and the roof of his mouth.
"Let me go and get the potatoes," Arrietty said to Arista, giving Spiller a dirty look. "You sit down and relax."
They had a nice meal and an enjoyable visit even though the roof of Spiller's mouth hurt all day long. He and Arrietty went over the whole wedding in great detail. Arista especially enjoyed hearing about that. She really regretted not having her parents or Burgonet's parents around to see them marry. Listening in at the vicarage and repeating the vows, she told them, had been sweet and romantic, but she'd still missed her parents.
"I miss them, too," Burgonet said with a sigh. "They would've loved to have seen the baby."
"Lupy doesn't seem to be eager to be a grandmother," Arrietty said. "I think she thinks it would mean she's old and she doesn't want to feel old."
After breakfast Spiller and Burgonet sneaked upstairs to do some borrowing and Arrietty helped Arista rearrange the storeroom. It was getting hard for her to reach and lift. Arrietty was glad to help her. The storeroom at Burgonet's place reminded her of the storerooms Homily had set up under the floor at Firbank Hall. Arrietty often missed Firbank Hall. That was something she had never thought she'd say, but it was true.
As Arista chattered on about her pregnancy, telling Arrietty all about her symptoms, Arrietty wondered what it would be like if she and Spiller did have a baby. She didn't look any different or feel any different but she knew it was possible. She decided to confide in Arista just a little to see what she would say.
Hiding her face in a pile of bottle caps that needed rearranging according to size, Arrietty said tentatively, "My mother would be upset if Spiller and I were having a baby, since she still thinks of us as children, but I wouldn't mind. I know I can trust Spiller to take care of me and anyone else who comes along."
"Burgonet takes very good care of me," Arista said, handing Arrietty another cap that Burgonet had just stuck on the nearest shelf to get it out of the way, "but he does worry a lot. I hope it goes well. We tried for so long and waited for so long that it's a relief to finally be having this one. I can't wait until it's here. I'm sure he'll be a wonderful father."
The statement about how long they'd had to wait made Arrietty feel better. Arista hadn't gotten pregnant at once and certainly Homily could have had more children but it just never happened. Maybe everything would work out with no drama after all. She did develop another worry, though.
"I want more than one when we're married," Arrietty said fiercely to Arista. "I don't want a child of mine to grow up alone like I did. A houseful of them like Daubery has would suit me very well."
"You'd have to actually have a house first." Arista shrugged as she began to go through her container and bags of spices. "Remind me to tell the men that we're going to need more salt. Most borrowers don't have lots of children, though. Spiller's friend Daubery is the only one I ever heard of with five. You said Halberd's family had four, though, didn't you?"
"No,' Arrietty said, thinking. "Hendreary had two, and Lupy had two. They were both widowed when they married and they never had any together. So neither of them really had four."
"Oh, I didn't know that," Arista exclaimed.
"Of course," Arrietty said, slightly worried by the memory, "Spiller was the oldest of five. Well, almost five." She lowered her voice. "His mother died in a house fire when she was having the last one."
Arista paled. "That's one thing that worries me. If anything happened in the house here I don't know if I could get around with this big belly of mine."
"Burgonet wouldn't let anything happen to you," Arrietty said firmly, sorry she'd brought it up. "It was different for Spiller's parents, trying to herd all the other children and get themselves out, too, and they lived in a hunting lodge full of humans. Here you only have to worry about what the vicar and the housekeeper are doing, after all. "
"I suppose so," Arista said, mollified setting a bag of pepper on the shelf.
Spiller and Halberd came back rolling a potato and an onion, and had more things to bring down so Arrietty went to help them, but in her mind she was more at ease. When it was time to leave that night she hugged Arista hard. The baby kicked her and Arrietty could feel it. She laughed and so did Arista. Arrietty and Spiller promised faithfully to come back in the spring and see the new baby. Burgonet hugged her, too, and wished Arrietty and Spiller a safe trip.
"When you come back I expect to hear all about your wedding plans!" Arista told them. "I want to know when you're getting married, and who will be there, and what your dress will look like, Arrietty. By spring I want you to have wedding plans!
"Count on it," Spiller said, smiling crookedly.
As she and Spiller loaded the boat when darkness fell she was more worried about him than herself. She looked out at the river, which was choppy in the dusk. "Are you sure you'll be all right? You won't get too tired?"
"Not with the early start we're getting," Spiller answered. "The one good thing about winter is that it gets dark early." As he untied one rope, then the other, he asked, "Are you sure you don't want to have a quick quiet marriage when we get back to the mill?"
"No," Arrietty said firmly, giving him a kiss before settling down under the canopy into the sheep's wool. It was a very chilly night. She was glad Spiller had his warm coat and new fur lined trousers. "We'll talk about it when you get back from the stove and we're settled in for the winter."
They got to the mill shortly after midnight. The moon was high and cast strange shadows through the blades, which were shaking in the wind, not turning. Spiller and Arrietty gathered up their things and made their way to Pod's new home. When they got inside the hall Spiller pushed open the door to his small room wearily and set down his bags. "Go to bed, Ari. I'll see you in the morning."
"I'll miss you," she said, giving him a hug.
"I'll miss you, too, but this is the way it's got to be for now. When I get back from the stove we'll sort things out. I promise." He kissed her then and pushed her out the door.
She crept down to her room and set down her things. She had slept a bit in the boat but she was just as tired as Spiller was. She pulled on a nightgown and crawled into bed not even bothering to unpack.
When Homily found Arrietty in her bed the next morning, she woke her daughter with a shriek of happiness that made Arrietty sit up wincing, pressing one hand to her forehead. "Shhh! Mother, please!"
"You're back! Oh, thank goodness you're back! We were so worried about you! How was the wedding? Did Halberd and Hemiola get to the stove all right? Did you go see Burgonet and Arista? How is she feeling?" Homily was very excited.
Arrietty sat up and groaned. "Mother, I just got to bed in the middle of the night. I can't think straight right now. Let me get cleaned up and dressed and I'll tell you everything. Where is Papa? Have you all been doing all right here?"
"Oh, we're getting along fine. I'll go make breakfast. Is Spiller in his room? Should I wake him?"
"He should be in his room," Arrietty answered, standing up and straightening out her blankets. "But he was even more tired than I was. Maybe you should let him sleep at least until breakfast is made."
When Arrietty had cleaned up and gotten a fresh dress on she made her way to the kitchen. Pod was sitting at the table having a cup of tea as Homily got the meal together. "So there she is! My little traveler! You must tell us all about your trip."
Arrietty reached for a thimble. "Let me get some tea, Papa. I'm still tired from being on the river most of the night. It was really cold and the waves were knocking us around. I'm glad Spiller has so much experience with the boat or we'd never have made it through."
"Tell us about the wedding," Homily begged, so Arrietty, certain that Spiller would not mind if she did that without him, began to describe everything in as much detail as she could, from the dresses the women wore to what each family member had said during the ceremony. She talked about the dinner and the cake as Homily finished cooking their meal and got it on the table.
They were just starting to eat when Spiller came in, on his way from his bedroom next to the storeroom to the bathroom. "Just looked outside. Snowed a bit."
"Good morning," Homily said. "Are you ready for breakfast, Spiller dear? We just started to eat. Arrietty's been telling us all about the wedding."
"Better her than me," he said, leaning in to kiss Arrietty as he went through the room. "Be back in a minute."
Arrietty blushed at his kiss and Homily saw it. "I hope the wedding didn't give you any over the top ideas about how romantic marriage is," she told her daughter sternly.
"Now don't start that again," Pod said, a bit irritated. Arrietty had never appreciated him so much as in that moment.
When Spiller came back he sat down next to Arrietty and they talked a bit about how Burgonet and Arista were doing. Homily nodded knowingly when they told her Arista was feeling better. "The middle part is the best part," she said. "You've got your stomach settled but it's not so big that you're uncomfortable. I do hope she has an easy time."
"They were asking us if Halberd and Hemiola plan on having children right away," Arrietty said, "but we don't know. They didn't say anything about it. Aunt Lupy doesn't seem to be too pleased at the prospect of being a grandmother, though."
"Probably thinks she's too young for that," Homily said with a sniff, "as if!"
"I want to leave tonight to go and see how Halberd and Hemiola are doing," Spiller said. "I want to see them one more time before the winter really sets in. Then I promised Arrietty I'd come back here to ride out the winter."
"We'd be glad to have you here with us," Pod said. "You're not taking Arrietty with you tonight then?"
"No," Spiller said firmly. "Too risky. If I get caught in a snowstorm and have to bide my time somewhere she needs to be here where it's safe."
"That reminds me," said Pod, getting up and walking away. He came back in a few minutes with the heavier fur boots he had promised Spiller for winter. Spiller took them almost reverently. They were so much better than the kind he used to wear, that Lupy just put together quickly merely to cover his feet in the snow. These were fitted perfectly to his feet and sewn with care. He slipped them on.
"You're an artist, you are. Never seen the likes of these!"
Pod looked pleased. He sat down again and took up his thimbleful of tea. "You'll need them if you're going to be traveling through snow."
The family spent the afternoon talking comfortably about nothing and everything, except the one thing Arietty had made Spiller promise not to bring up. It was hard, though. He wanted to marry her and have it done with. Not just in case, as he had said, but because he couldn't imagine a long winter under the mill with Arietty close at hand but out of his reach at the same time. He wanted to go to sleep with her every night and wake up with her every morning. He wanted to feel her head against his shoulder and her limbs tangled up with his. He kept his promise, though, and vowed to himself to settle the matter when he got back from the stove.
They had pea soup for supper and then Spiller went to get his things. Arrietty said she was going to help him pack and followed him down the hall. There was not much to pack, though. Spiller was traveling light.
"I'm going to miss you so much. Hurry back, won't you?" Arrietty said, as she held his quilt down so he could tie it up.
"Depends on the weather," he said again, as he tightened the knot and stood up, "but I'll be back if I have to crawl. I'll miss you, too."
Arrietty stepped into his arms and buried her face in his vest. She, too, was beginning to see how hard it would be to spend the winter with him and not be able to love him the way she wanted to love him. She liked his arms around her, the feel of his cheek rough with stubble against hers in the dark. She liked watching him sleep and listening to him breathe. "I can see why maybe this isn't going to work out unless we get Mother and Papa to agree to have us married before spring," she admitted, "so give it some thought as to how we can explain it."
"I will," Spiller promised, "but if you hug and kiss me a lot now, maybe it'll last me at least until I get back." With a grin, he gave her a long loving kiss which she returned enthusiastically. "Your parents are probably waiting to say goodbye to me." He picked up his quilt roll and his bag and walked out into the hall and down to the kitchen.
Homily had a bag of food for him, enough for a week of traveling which he took thankfully. She surprised him by kissing his cheek. "You dear, dear boy! Be careful, won't you?" Pod clapped him on the shoulder.
"Yes, be careful. We know you need to travel but we want to see you soon."
"Soon as I can manage it, I promise," Spiller said, and leaned in to kiss Arrietty's cheek. When he got to his boat he peered out from under the edge of the mill. The snow was not heavy, just a dusting really, on the banks of the river. He put his things in and went to untie the boat from its moorings, but stopped short, looking in the direction that he usually tried to avoid. He bit his lip slightly and made up his mind.
If I'm going to be married, and maybe even be a dad, I have to get over my fear, Spiller thought. It's been dragging on me for too many years. Have to let it go once and for all. It's not fair to Ari if I don't. How can we have a family of our own if I'm always having nightmares about mine?
He untied the boat and began to push away from the mill, but not toward Daubery's house, toward Lupy and Hendreary, and Perkin's Beck. He went the other way. It took longer than he remembered but suspected that was because of the choppy, icy water. When he had first fled it had been summer and he'd been going downstream.
He took a deep breath as he came punting around the last bend and his heart jumped into his throat. It was still there. His own father's hollow tree, the one he used as a workshop. It really didn't look that different. Past it, on the hill, he thought he could see the old human, Mr. Cairncross, coming up from the river and heading into his family's hunting lodge where Spiller had been born. Fancy that old buzzard still being alive. He'd been an old man when Spiller had been a tot.
The Cairncross Lodge was somewhat different but not so much that he couldn't recognize it. They had made a few changes when they had redone the back of the house after the fire but it was surprisingly like Spiller remembered it.
He pulled in and tied up the bow of his boat but didn't tie up the stern. He wasn't planning on getting out. He just wanted to sit there for awhile and have one last look. He stared at the house, saying goodbye in his heart and mind, ready to close one chapter of his life and open another, when a movement caught his eye.
Someone was going toward the tree. Someone borrower size, not human sized. Spiller's heart jumped back into his throat as whoever it was went into the hollow in the tree just as he had done a hundred times as a boy following his father, his chubby legs working fiercely as he had called, "Dad, Dad, wait for me!"
Spiller stared, but in the early morning light it was hard to make out if the shape was male or female, stranger or kin. As it disappeared into the tree he jumped up in shock. "Hey!" Spiller yelled, as loud as he had ever yelled, as loud as he had called for Pod to cut the fishing line that time Pod and his family were caught on the river.
He went to jump onto the bank, so shocked that he totally forgot that he wasn't moored all the way. The boat swung in the water when he unbalanced it and slammed against his left leg. He heard the bone crack and screamed again, even louder than he had shouted. He grabbed the long grass through the light covering of snow and pulled as hard as he could at the ice coated stuff, afraid he would slip into the freezing water and be swept away.
Spiller managed to get himself onto the bank where he collapsed, but the pain was so excruciating it was as if his leg was being torn off. Just before he passed out, he saw a pair of eyes, as black as his own, above him, looking into his intently. Something jarred his memory. Mummy, he wanted to say, or at least Mum, but he couldn't even get that much out before he slipped away.
Spiller faded in and out for a long time. He was lying down and he couldn't move the leg with the cracked bone. Although it still hurt he could wiggle his toes. Someone occasionally held a silver thimble to his lips so he could drink. It seemed oddly familiar. For a moment there a few times when he regained consciousness, he saw the inside of the tree, but it was different than he remembered it, lined with what looked like tobacco tins. Several times he saw the black eyes again, kind, and caring eyes, but whenever he tried to speak, it was just too hard.
Spiller didn't know how long this went on, but eventually he came to and found himself lying wrapped in his quilt, lying on what looked like the sheep's wool from his boat. He tried to move his leg and winced. Then he noticed a much larger lump under the quilt where his left leg should be. Someone, he realized, had splinted the leg and bandaged it tightly to hold the bone together so it could knit. His boots were sitting beside his makeshift bed. His nose was cold, but since he was out of the wind and wrapped up, it was not too bad in the tree.
He moved his head and saw a bit of the outdoors through the opening that led into the tree and the path beyond. There was snow on the ground but not too much. It looked like it was still just a dusting. Then something dark blocked his vision and in stepped the dark figure he had seen from the boat. It was a young woman wearing a hooded cloak made out of some kind of black material, possibly wool. She pushed her hood off her head as she entered and he saw her hair was as black as the cloak and almost matched her dark eyes.
"This tree..." he said tentatively when she was all the way inside.
"You're awake!" She was delighted, whoever she was. "Oh, Ash, you're awake! I'm so happy. I never thought I'd ever see you again, and then when I did, I was so afraid I'd lose you a second time. I'm so glad I heard you calling when you were on the bank. You were badly hurt and you've been very, very sick. You're safe now, though. You're in Dad's tree. I use it for a shed. I borrow tins whenever Old Man Cairncross throws them away and I keep some of them here for storage." She knelt down by his makeshift bed, and reached under her cloak for a small bottle of tea and a bit of bread. "You need to eat, Ash."
"What? What's that?" He shook his head to clear it.
She rocked back. "It's tea, or do you mean me? You don't recognize me? Don't you know me, brother dear? It's Larkspur, Ash. Look at me. Really look at me. I know you're confused but you are my brother. I knew it the minute I looked into your eyes."
"Larkspur? No! The fire…I looked and looked for you all. Never found you, any of you. It can't be."
She sighed. "I believe you looked but there was no one to find. Dad pushed me into the hall and told me to run and I did. I ran through the wall to the front of the lodge, ran and ran through the dust and the dark. I thought they'd be right behind me, but no one was. I suppose Mum couldn't make it and Dad didn't want to leave her. The little ones were probably too afraid to go on their own. I didn't know what happened to you, Ash. I thought perhaps the humans had trampled you in the garden."
"Why do you call me that?" Spiller asked, dazed. Could this handsome woman really be his sister? She did look exactly like his mother had looked when Spiller had been a boy. Something was jumbled up in his mind, long lost memories that he had buried so deeply he wasn't sure if he could dig them up again.
"Why? What do you call yourself?" She looked puzzled.
"Spiller," he answered rather stupidly, and she laughed.
"Mum's old nickname for you? A dreadful spiller, she used to call you. I remember her saying that many a time! You've been using that? How sweet to honor her that way! But whatever you call yourself, you're Ash Lodge, of Cairncross Lodge deep down, and there's no mistaking it. I'd know you anywhere. But if you want to keep calling yourself Spiller, it's all right with me. We all used to laugh so when Mum called you that."
"I do remember that," Spiller said, his head in awhirl. "A dreadful spiller…I do remember."
"Well, I should hope so," she said, pouring a thimble full of tea and holding it to his mouth. He drank deeply as she added, "You were the clumsiest child at table she ever saw, or so she used to say. I can't believe you got out of that boat of yours without tying it up properly, though. Dad would have your hide. He must have told you a hundred times not to get out of a boat until it was properly moored. I got it up on the bank after I got you into here and went back and emptied it." It is a nice boat. It's a lot nicer than anything Dad ever had. It was hard, but not too hard, since there was frost on the riverbank. That made the grass slippery. I stashed it where Dad used to hide his boat in the winter."
She refilled the thimble. "You're lucky you got off with just a clean break in your leg and that you had food with you. That's what I've been using to keep you going." She offered him another drink and he took it.
He recognized it now, his mother's favorite thimble and didn't know whether to laugh or cry. This really was his sister. He knew it now but his head already hurt from thinking and his leg was starting to hurt, too. "But where did you go, Lark? How did you live?"
She laughed. "You are my brother, all right. No one else ever called me Lark."
He grinned. "Nice it is, to be able to say it again. So tell me what happened."
She sat down beside him and wrapped her arms around her knees. "I ran through the wall until I couldn't run anymore. I was so tired and there was so much smoke, wood shavings and dust. I saw a mousehole and climbed out. I was next to the biggest chair I'd ever seen. I fell down on the ground and the next thing I knew I was on a bed with a pink satin cover with a pink satin bolster under my head. There was a lace canopy over my head and when I looked into the room I saw one of those dressing tables the human women use, just my size. Then I saw a human face. Cairncross had a little granddaughter named Alice and she'd found me next to the human chair. When she saw me sit up she gave me a miniature goblet filled with water and told me she was sorry I had lost my wings in the fire."
"She thought you were a fairy," Spiller said flatly, thinking of Miss Menzies.
"Yes, and she had picked me up and hidden me in her dollhouse in the nursery. She said she hadn't told anyone about me, because she didn't think they would believe her, and anyway everyone was too busy. Her mother and her sisters had been killed in the fire. What with funerals and repairs to the damaged parts of the house, no one really had time for her."
"Can see that but it's sort of sad," Spiller said. Humans got as lonely as borrowers did. He knew that well, from Miss Menzies and Mr. Pott and even young Tom.
Larkspur looked thoughtful, trying to remember. "I told her that my parents and my sisters had died in the fire, too. I was still hoping you were out in the garden somewhere but I was too weak to look. My throat hurt from the smoke and my clothes smelled bad. Alice had taken my dress and left me sleeping in my petticoat. Since they had told her to stay in the nursery she had used my dress as a pattern to make me some more clothes. She brought me water and food and we talked a lot. She was lonely, Ash. She was so lonely."
"When did you give up on me?" Spiller asked quietly, reaching for some more tea.
Larkspur held the thimble for him. "When Alice came one day and told me they had finished tearing down the burned parts and were starting the work on the new section of the house. She said her grandfather had told her she could watch the workmen if she didn't bother them. He was getting worried about her being shut up in the house day and night. I asked her if she could take me, too. She put me in her pocket. When we went outside they had tossed all of the debris from the fire in what was left of the garden. I knew then you weren't there. Alice let me go and look at what they'd torn down from the kitchen. I found Mum's thimble and a few other things. Alice helped me bring them back."
Her eyes were bright with tears but she went on. "I stayed with her for awhile but eventually Alice's father decided he had to go back to town and he wanted her to come with him. I told her about the mousehole. She took me to it and gave me some of the dollhouse furniture. She left me some food, needles, thread, pins, all sorts of things. I pulled it all into the wall and told Alice that if she ever came back to put something into the mousehole that I could recognize and I would come up to the nursery to see her."
Larkspur sighed. "I saw Alice again a few times every year. She doesn't come very often now. I think the father married again and his new wife doesn't like being here where everyone was used to having the first wife in the house. Anyway, I crept back down the passage to where they were working on the kitchen as often as I could. When they laid the new water pipe I tapped it the way Dad had it tapped when we were there. I managed to get enough to eat from what the workmen left and eventually I started borrowing from the new kitchen. I knew girls weren't supposed to borrow but I had no choice. I had all of the clothes Alice had made for me. When they got too small I let them out. Then I got braver and started taking a few things that the family left lying around and using them. I knew it was wrong but what could I do? I had no one else to help me with Alice gone. I had to borrow."
"It was not wrong," Spiller told her fiercely. "You had no choice. I've no patience with borrowers who don't want girls to learn to take care of themselves. Wait until you meet my Arrietty…oh, no! Ari must be frantic!" He bolted upright. "How long have I been here?"
Larekspur frowned. "Not quite a week, but Spiller, if that's what you want me to call you, you can't stay here much longer. The winter has been mild so far but you can't be outside when the snow gets deep. I won't be able to get to you and you can't go far on that leg. I was hoping when you were more yourself again, I could make you a crutch and move you to the house. I use this tree for storage, but many's the time in the winter I haven't been able to reach it. Who's Ari? Do you have a family of your own now?"
"That's a long story," Spiller said, sitting up. "I'll tell it to you but let's get working on that crutch first. Can you find me a twig the right shape and size?"
"I can try." She rose and putting her hood up, went outside. Spiller ate the bread she had brought him and drank the rest of the tea. He had to get inside, yes, because he would heal faster where it was warm and dry and he had to heal quickly.
Larkspur brought him several t-shaped twigs before she found one the right size. He put on his boots to try them out, to make sure they were tall enough, and she admired those.
"Remember the boots Mum made for Dad when he used to go hunting in the winter? Remember how she would turn the fur down at the top, so you could see a strip of the fur at the top of the boot?"
He laughed at that. It was so nice to have someone to reminisce with. "Yes, but Mum didn't like making boots and shoes. She wasn't very good at it. Pod made these. As a shoemaker he's amazing. She would have liked Pod."
"Is he part of your story?" She asked when they finally found twigs that worked and Spiller, wincing, eased himself back down and took the boots off as he got ready to work on the twigs with a razor blade his sister had salvaged from his boat.
"Yes," he answered. He told her about how he had waited by the tree and had finally given up hope and taken their father's boat downstream. He told her about Daubery and Sateen, and how they had taken him in and cared for him, and about all of his adopted sisters. He told her about Pod and Homily and Arrietty, about how Pod was the shoemaker, how he'd lived in a big human house but he'd been seen and had to run away. He told her how Pod had tried to live outdoors and about their new home at the mill. He told her how wonderful Arrietty was, how brave and kind and beautiful.
"She can read a treat, cook and sew, and she likes the outdoors as much as I do, even though she grew up under the floor at Firbank Hall." He told her how he and Arrietty wanted to get married in the spring.
"A sister-in-law! I'll have you and a sister-in-law, too? What fun that will be! I hope I get to meet her. I hope she will like me and be my friend."
"She will," Spiller said confidently.
"I can't believe my brother has a girl that he wants to be with forever!"
"I don't want to be with her forever," said Spiller. "I need to be with her forever. We just belong together. When I get well I'll take you to meet her and we can come and visit you sometimes."
When the crutches were done, scraped down to smoothness, it was late. Larkspur checked his splints and bandages, tying the latter as tightly as she could without hurting him. She had set his leg very well. He was impressed. Then she helped him up. He slipped a crutch under each arm and braced himself with it. Then Spiller asked Larkspur to pack his bag, roll his quilt and to put it all onto his back.
"Can't I get it later?" she asked. "That's a lot to carry."
"Can't lose these things. If we get to your house and a snowstorm comes in they'll get ruined. Please let's try."
So she got his things on his back and moving to his good side helped him out of the tree. It was cold outside, but sweat broke out on Spiller's forehead as he moved slowly forward, step by step. With each step he took on his good leg he would then drag the broken one along. The pain was like a knife in his leg each time but the wrappings seemed to be holding. It took an hour to cover the distance to the hole Larkspur used to get into the house, and they had to stop several times, but she held him up and didn't complain. When he got into the house, Spiller wobbled and collapsed, trying to stifle his scream of pain in his sleeve.
"Rest a bit, brother. It's not far now. I'll go get you some water." She left him in a dark, dusty passage, but that didn't bother him. He'd seen plenty of those. He was just worried about how long it would take for his leg to heal and if it would ever be the same again. His sister had set the bone well but that didn't mean it would knit together perfectly. He was glad when Larkspur came back with the water. After he drank and rested, she helped him down the passageway to her rooms which were filled with a hodgepodge of homemade furniture and doll furniture. He sat down on a pine green velvet wing chair that was clearly from Alice's dollhouse.
"This reminds me of Arrietty's Aunt Lupy's house. A human friend helped furnish that, too. "
As Larkspur knelt and checked his leg to make sure it was still splinted and that the bones had not shifted during his walk to the house, he told her about Lupy, Hendreary and the boys. He told her about Halberd's wedding to Hemiola, and some more about Daubery's family. He told her about his friend Burgonet and how he and his wife were expecting a baby in the spring." He hadn't talked that much in years but she was delighted to hear his voice.
"I never knew there were so many borrowers left! At times I thought I was the only one!" She rocked back on her heels and pulled over a small table and another chair. Then she went to get some more food for the two of them.
"That was Ari's biggest fear. Was afraid we were dying out, but we're not there yet," Spiller told Larkspur. "There's plenty of borrowers out there." He thought for a moment. "I wish I could let Ari know where I am," Spiller said sadly. "Probably worried sick about me and I'm worried just as much about her. She's so much a part of my life now I think I'd die if I lost Arrietty. "
"Don't you think she's safe in that mill?" Larkspur asked, putting down a few raisins, more bread, and some nuts.
Spiller sighed. "Oh, Lark, If I told you the truth you'd think I'm horrible."
"I could never do that," she said gently, offering him a raisin. "I'm too happy to see you. You've had such a hard life. I know what it's like. We both know you have to do things sometimes that you don't want to do."
Spiller sighed. "My problem's what I did want to do." He hesitated a moment and then began to tell her the truth about his and Arrietty's trip to the wedding and what happened afterwards. He tried to make it sound romantic, and not sordid or sneaky. He stumbled over parts of it, and got red in the face, but he finally got it all out. It was actually a relief to talk to someone about it.
Finally he was all talked out. "What if she's there and finds out there's a little one on the way? What'll she do if I don't come back? What'll her parents do to her?"
"Well, you know them best," Larkspur said, pouring some more water, "but if you love her and she loves you and you were planning on getting married in a few months anyway, it will probably be all right. She must love you a lot and they sound like nice people. I suppose they'll get angry, at least for awhile, but they will probably get over it. You just have to make it right as soon as you can." She was a little shocked, but it was clear that her brother was madly in love with his future wife.
"I want to make it right, but how can I steer a ship in the ice with a broken leg?"
"You can't, but I promise I'll take care of you. You'll get well, and then you can go back to your Arrietty, and maybe I can even go with. Now that I have you back I'd like to share your life with you now and then and see all of these people and places you've seen. Do you really think I can?"
"Oh, sure! I'll even take you to Little Fordham. Wait until you see Little Fordham! We can go riding on the trains, you and me and Arietty. Ari loves riding on the trains."
Larkspur brightened at that. "It's real then? Alice told me about it but I didn't know if it was real or a story."
"As real as you and I, Lark," said Spiller, and began to tell her about that. When she finally made up a bed for him and helped him to it, Spiller was exhausted but happy. Once they got him settled in and immobile his leg even stopped hurting. She left him water and a small container to use as a chamber pot and settled his quilt over him.
When they'd said goodnight Spiller put his hands behind his head and thought about everything that had happened. He hadn't had to let go of his past after all. He'd found a very vital piece of it and he was very happy. The only thing that marred his happiness was his worry about Arrietty. If it hadn't been for her he could easily have spent the winter endlessly talking to Larkspur, catching up on the years they had lost, and remembering the years they shared. His love for his sister was genuine. It was not like the love he felt for Arrietty but it was just as strong. It seemed like every time he had someone else in his life they didn't replace the people he already knew. They just added to all of the others. It was nice, he decided, as he fell asleep.