Chapter 43
The show was a success. After the first few moments, Kirk was too busy to think about his nakedness. He was pretty sure he had made no major blunders during the dramatization. The obstacle course had been fun, in spite of the nerve-racking sense of isolation from not being able to see or hear. Even the tightrope walk had come off well.
The concentration required for the grid maze wasn't all that difficult; nor was carrying Konti all that physically taxing. What was hard was forcing himself to trust Konti's directions. But his thinking had already been changed to the extent that he never considered dumping Konti off his back.
The beating was interesting. When Konti removed the head device, Kirk's senses were assaulted by sight and sound. Quite a shock, but he caught Konti's signal that meant, hands on head, no sound and no motion. Just my luck, he thought, to pull the most difficult on the first try. Silence he could probably manage; he'd never been a screamer. But holding still was another matter. Especially since it wasn't supposed to be quite perfect, just look as though he could almost do it, but not quite.
The feel of the lash surprised him. What Konti had just been doing had finesse. This was brute force. Sledge hammer rather than needle. His instinct was to draw into himself to shut out the pain. What was it Kezak had said? Separate the performance from the reality. He began to concentrate on giving a good performance, and managed to more or less ignore the pain. But he had never felt so physically assaulted before.
He lay on the floor of the flitter, not talking or moving for the two hour trip back to Konti's home. They occasionally asked how he was, but mostly the conversation was in Klingon. By the time they arrived, Kirk discovered his back was so stiff, he could hardly move, and didn't want to. But they couldn't leave him in the flitter, and if they did, by morning, it would undoubtedly be worse. So he forced himself to stand and walk into the house. The three of them took the same chairs they had earlier. He said he would prefer to stand.
"That bad, is it? It was a bit more brutal than usual. Three of those guys really had it in for you. And 60 lashes is the most we ever permit. Takes too long to recover from any more than that. So if it's any consolation, it's not likely to get any worse. So, talk to me. What are you thinking?" Konti asked.
"I'd like to hear Kezak's opinion of the show."
Konti translated. "Superb! Not one wrong move! I would never have known you'd lost your memory. A couple of things you actually did better than usual. That bit of confusion when Konti first put the head device on you was a very nice touch. And the grid maze was brilliant. Ever so much more suspense. We could see your hesitation at every step, as if you're uncertain whether you're about to die. It was great!"
"You think I faked it?! I bet Konti knows I was scared stiff."
"Doesn't matter. Do it that way again next time," Kezak insisted.
"How soon is the next time?"
"Day after tomorrow."
"Okay. What do we do between now and then?" Kirk asked.
Konti answered, "First we get you to talk. You managed total cooperation. Now I want some transparency. How did you feel during the show? How do you feel now? Where's the trust level?"
"I enjoyed most of it. The beating was a shock, and I'm still recovering. Trust? Maybe marginally higher than before. After all, everything happened exactly as you said it would."
"So the beating did not lower the trust level?"
Kirk considered that. "No, I don't think so."
"What about your escape plans?"
"I haven't thought about it since I read that letter," Kirk admitted sheepishly.
"Think about it now, then. If you knew there was nothing and no one to prevent you from walking out that door and never coming back, would you go?"
Kirk grinned briefly. "The golden opportunity, as it were?"
"Let me put it more plainly. Very shortly, Koh and Kezak will leave. Soon thereafter, I will go to bed. The door will not be locked, nor will you be restrained in any way. Will you kill me as I sleep? Will you still be here in the morning?"
"You would sleep in the presence of an unrestrained enemy?!"
"You are not my enemy."
"I'm not? If I were you, I would lock me up. I told you I can't be trusted."
"Nevertheless, I do, and I will," Konti stubbornly declared.
Koh rose to depart.
"Don't forget to feed him. I'll be here in the morning."
Kezak followed Koh out the door. Konti fed him another meal, showed him the bathroom, and went to bed, with an admonition not to stay up all night.
Kirk did some stretching exercises and took a shower. He still felt decidedly unwell. He'd read somewhere that the first twelve hours were the worst. So sometime tomorrow, he should start feeling better, he hoped. He paced up and down the main room, as he considered his situation.
Should he wait until tomorrow night to escape? Would he be given another such opportunity as this? Did he even intend to escape at all? Why did Konti trust him? Kirk went into the bedroom and stared at Konti's sleeping form. How could he?! And it wasn't that he was stupid. He chose to ignore what he knew to be common sense, and act as if Kirk could be trusted. Why did he do that? And how?
Total cooperation, absolute trust, complete transparency. What a challenge! So far, he'd managed the cooperation, and some of the transparency. But trust? No way! How could he trust Konti – he was a Klingon. The only way he might come to trust Konti, or any of them, was if he could manage to forget they were Klingons. And he didn't see that happening in the foreseeable future.
Suddenly he realized he was very tired. He lay down in a corner of the bedroom, and was fast asleep in minutes, still having made no decision regarding escape. Nor did he ponder the fact that he was sleeping in the same room with a Klingon.
xxxx
Konti woke to find Kirk asleep in the same corner he had twice chosen before. He smiled. Moving quietly so as not to wake Kirk, Konti went to take a shower. When he returned, Kirk was awake, sitting up, and obviously waiting for him.
"Good morning. I hope you slept well. How is the back this morning?"
"Better, thank you."
"Breakfast in five minutes."
They ate in silence. Konti was comfortable; Kirk was not. All the questions of the night before were still unanswered. After breakfast, Konti announced the activities of the day.
"In just over two hours, we have company coming for the monthly branding ceremony. I'll come back to that in just a moment. After the ceremony, we have the rest of the day to ourselves. I have obtained some Klingon language tapes. I suggest you spend perhaps eight hours working on the language. Then a meal and a nap. This evening, if you've no objection, I would like some help on the translation work I'm doing. At midnight you are due in Koh's lab. Any questions before I explain the branding?"
"Several. You sound as if I have a choice about how I wish to spend the day."
"Yes. I am open to input from you on the subject. Do you have other concerns more pressing than the language?"
"No. I have no objections to your plans. I just can't believe you would let me decide. Another thing: I recall you said the rules included no food or drink, no sleep, and no privacy. Yet you have given me all of those things. Why?" Kirk dared to demand an explanation.
"The rules have been relaxed since we started doing the shows. Koh tells me from day to day whether I can feed you. And if you spend the night here instead of at the lab, it's assumed you will sleep."
"All right. Last question: will you take me to the lab, or do I have to walk, deciding all the way whether to escape or not?"
"You walk."
Kirk stared for a moment. "Did I envision this situation when I set this up?"
"I don't think so, but knowing about this would not have changed your mind. You would have just laughed, and suggested everybody place bets on what you would do."
"You're betting your life," Kirk retorted.
"So is Koh, and with considerably less confidence than I have. I am a Christian. Koh is not, yet."
"Are you saying, it's because you're a Christian that you can trust me?"
"Yes. I know what the Lord told me to do."
"What's that?"
Konti sat back in the chair and decided it wouldn't hurt anything to tell him. "Require of you everything I would have expected before. That means I behave as if you are completely trustworthy, even though you keep telling me you're not. God will take care of the consequences."
"Well, for your sake, I hope you're right, but I still can't promise it."
"You don't have to. I'm not worried."
Konti explained the branding ceremony in detail. Kirk did not seem apprehensive until he mentioned that Korn would be witnessing, as well as Koh.
"Who is Korn?"
"The one who wants the secrets."
"I'm supposed to trust him too?!" Kirk objected.
"You will accord him respect, but you do not have to trust him. It would be a nice touch for you to put on the slave performance, but he will not be surprised if you don't.
"The last thing I must explain is the eye contact. You are required to maintain eye contact with me during the entire ceremony. As your master, I am supposed to establish and maintain dominance over you by means of the eyes. Both Koh and Korn know that I have not, and will not, do that. But they do not understand what we have done instead, though I have tried to tell them.
"We have done this nine times, under a variety of circumstances. Not once have I seen in your eyes any sign of hate, distrust, betrayal, or blame. Instead, I've seen a warmth, an encouragement, a reaching out in friendship, almost a love, if I may use that term without being misunderstood. I do not expect to see that today. But I do dare to hope that you will not hate me."
"Why would I hate you?"
"The brand is very painful."
"I assumed so, but pain by itself does not produce hate. Deeply held expectations that were not met might result in hate. Whether or not I come to trust you is not a function of how much pain you inflict. It's a question of how honest you are. The first time you withhold essential information, or lie to me, even with good intentions, will be the moment you make it impossible for me to trust you. And even then, I would not hate you."
Koh and Korn arrived within minutes of each other. Kirk acted as butler, greeting them, and taking their wraps, then serving drinks, while the three of them chatted in Klingon. Konti had so thoroughly briefed Kirk that he did not have to understand a word of what was said. He got all of his instructions by watching Konti's hands.
In due course, Kirk fetched the branding case, and knelt in front of Konti. As he gazed up at him, Kirk sensed that Konti hated doing this. He wondered why, but this was no time to ask. He had no idea if he could manage to hold still, but he hoped so, as much for Konti's sake, as his own.
As the brand approached his face, Kirk had a sudden thought that Konti was going to blind him with it. He tried to dismiss the idea, but couldn't. Consequently, when the brand touched his forehead, Kirk was rigidly tense, not breathing, and his eyes were wide with fear. The pain was intense, but the fear unfounded. Kirk tried to breathe carefully. He was afraid to relax his muscles, and afraid not to. Four minutes was a long time. Maybe he could think about something else, and manage to avoid shaking. He began to notice Konti's eyes. Full of compassion and concern, Konti cared about him - his pain, his struggle. 'Love your enemies.' Did Konti love him? Could he love Konti? He had said he wouldn't hate him, and he didn't. But could he love the one causing this agony? Could he forgive the hurt? Did he want to?
His muscles reached their limit and started to twitch. He had to move. The only direction that might be safe was forward. He tilted his head slightly, pressing his forehead more deeply into the brand, while at the same time relaxing his arms and legs. This action intensified the pain, but he hoped it would allow him to remain motionless a bit longer.
Konti sensed the increased pressure immediately. The movement had been so slight as to be unnoticed, except for the pressure on the brand. Tears streaming down his face, Kirk continued to gaze steadily into Konti's eyes. No hate and no fear. Konti wasn't exactly sure how to identify what he saw in those eyes. Acceptance of the pain, to be sure, and many unanswered questions. Not trust, but not distrust either. That indescribable something, that Konti was now calling love, was missing or at least, if it was there, it was hidden, rather than shining forth as the most predominant element to be seen.
Finally Koh called time. Konti removed the brand and Kirk took a deep breath. After putting the branding iron away, Konti examined the brand carefully. Kirk's slight movement had not spoiled the brand. He drew his knife and added the tenth cut, noting that Kirk's eyes held a smile.
After putting the branding case away, Kirk stood by the bedroom door, his eyes on Konti's hands. He sensed Korn's anger, but of course, did not understand what was said. Korn only stayed a few minutes. He stared at Kirk as he received his wrap, but he did not speak. The atmosphere relaxed noticeably as soon as Korn left. Konti and Koh both switched to Standard, so Kirk could comprehend.
"Well, Kirk, I'm impressed. How did you manage to hold still when you were so rigid?" Koh asked.
"I didn't. Konti knows I moved."
Koh looked at Konti for confirmation.
"Yes, he did. I couldn't see it, but I felt it. He pressed his forehead into the branding iron. I don't know why."
"I didn't know what else to do. I had to move - my muscles were starting to twitch," Kirk admitted.
"I'm even more impressed. Even as a 16-year-old, you think fast under stress. And endurance is your middle name. You're going to need it if you're coming to my lab tonight."
"Konti's betting his life that I will."
"So am I. Korn wanted to be sure you knew that. Konti told him it wouldn't matter. That your decision wouldn't be based on whose life was at stake."
Kirk turned to Konti, puzzled. "What will it be based on?"
"If you decide you have a duty obligation to escape, you will go, regardless of who dies, including yourself. Otherwise, you will stay, and the level of pain to be endured is not a deterrent."
"Korn thinks it is. He wants me to break you. I mean, he really wants it. But he doesn't want me to tell you what you're in for at the lab. He's afraid you'll run."
"Why does he care what I do?"
"Because Konti is his son."
Kirk looked from one to the other as he assimilated this revelation.
"Then why is Konti more loyal to me than to his father?"
"I have disobeyed no orders. I have committed no treason. You have been over-zealous in preserving my reputation as a loyal Klingon. So why do you say I am more loyal to you?"
"Because you care more about what happens to me than about what your father thinks of you."
"You must have seen that in my eyes. I don't know how to explain it. You have been a friend to me like no other. I cannot repay what you have done for me, but I do care, very deeply." Konti held eye contact to convey the intensity of his commitment.
Kirk was uncomfortable and tried to change the focus. "So Koh, you better not tell me what's in your lab. I can guess anyway."
"But you said we must be completely honest with you if you are to trust us. The branding and last night's beating are child's play in comparison."
"Charming. You don't need to give me a graphic description. Hours upon hours of non-stop, unbearable agony will do. But Konti's right, even as a 16-year-old, I don't run away from pain unless I have to."
"You're not afraid that I will break you?"
"Depends what you mean by break me. I have very little control as it is. I don't expect to be able to control my reaction to whatever you do to me. I'm not afraid of falling apart. If Korn wants to listen to me scream all day, he's welcome. I'm not afraid of spilling any secrets. If I had any, the mindsifter would have found them. What else could happen?"
"You might go mad."
"Unlikely. I'm just not wired that way."
"And you're not afraid of the pain itself?"
"Not at the moment. I might be by the time I get there. But I haven't let fear govern my behavior for over ten years, and I'm not about to start now."