Chapter 23: Back at the Movies

By Elf from Downunder

This chapter is dedicated to NO ONE. I would, however, like to take this time to call upon animepercystyle...there was a reason why...but I kinda forget it.

Just joking. All hail those of us who don't particularly like Coke, but still love Legolas!

Yeah.

23. It is not opposite day. It is never opposite day

Fireworks dazzled the warm night sky. Many hobbits danced merrily, laughing without a care in the world. Like all hobbits do, of course. It was a night of celebration, Bilbo and Frodo's birthday. Bilbo's in particular, with him turning 111 and all.

Bilbo was drunk. Frodo was bored. Fatty Bolger was eating all the cake. What could possible go wrong? Only … everything.

Whilst all was well (sort of), Merry and Pippin were sneaking behind the pavilions with smug looks on their faces.

"This is such a great idea, Merry!" Pippin exclaimed rather loudly.

Merry glared at him. "Shhh! Make sure no one sees us! Except for Gandalf, of course … he has to see us!"

Pippin looked confused. "Uh, why?"

"So," Merry deeply sighed. "we can perform operation 'Opposite Day' properly! No one's a better target than Gandalf!

"Oh ..."

Merry immediately took Pippin's hand and dashed behind various things, as to avoid being seen … by most.

"Come on! Hurry up!"

At this point, Gandalf's wary eye caught two mysterious figures sneaking away from where he was seated.

"And where do you think you're both going?" he demanded to know, arising.

Both hobbits carried innocent smiles. It was time for operation 'Opposite Day' to take place.

"Ah, Gandalf! How nice it is to see you!" Merry beamed, both hands behind his back.

Pippin nodded enthusiastically. "Oh yes, very nice!"

Gandalf merely raised a bushy eyebrow. "What's with that stupid smile upon your faces? Are you up to something again?"

Merry's face turned into one of shock. "Up to something? Us?"

"Have a little faith! As if we'd pull a dirty trick during such an important event, right Merry?"

Pippin looked to Merry, who now bore a stern look.

"Right! I promise you, we will surely not cause any trouble!"

"At all! We promise!"

With a final inspection of the two (who were still grinning madly), Gandalf glared at them and said with a threatening voice, "I'll be keeping an eye on you two ..." before mumbling off back to his seat.

"I think that went rather well!" Pippin stated.

Merry nodded. "It sure did."

Last Gandalf saw of them was the two disappearing behind a tent. What he didn't see though, was the large firecracker they had with them.

...

After a strange dramatic firework scene which came out of no where, Gandalf was furious. Pushing aside random drunk hobbits while scowling and muttering, the maia soon saw the troublesome duo, whom were standing rather proudly and beaming at their work well done.

Fuming, the wizard walked behind them and pulled on the tips of their ears.

Both hobbits shrieked.

"Ow! Ow! Ow!"

"Meriadoc Brandybuck. And Peregrin Took. I might've know." Gandalf scowled.

Yet Merry somehow managed a strained grin. "Of course you might have known! You're so smart!"

At this, Gandalf let them go and gave the two a curious look.

"Huh? Okay, what is going on?"

"It's Opposite Day!" both hobbits cheered.

Gandalf's eyes grew wide. "What!?"

"Opposite Day!" Pippin said. "Where everything we say is really the opposite of what we mean!"

Gandalf shook his head. "That's just ..."

"Clever? Awesome?" Merry's eyes shone.

"Amazing? Original? Spectacular?" Pippin wondered hopefully.

"Ridiculous!"

The two cast miserable glances. "Oh."

"So," Gandalf started. "when you just said I was smart, you're really trying to say that I'm stupid?"

The hobbits began to nod, only to look at each other before shaking their heads.

"Oh, Valar save me from the stupidity of others! Today is not Opposite Day! You can both forget it if you are capable!"

"Oh yes, we're quite capable." Merry assured.

Gandalf nodded his approval. "Good then … wait a minute, are you saying that you're not capable?"

Pippin and Merry shrugged.

Gandalf sighed in exasperation. "I give up … and what I say is final! It is NOT Opposite Day! And never WILL be! Got it?"

"Nope."

...

Bilbo was incredibly drunk when it was time to make his 'epic' speech. His words were slurred and he was stumbling endlessly, even when he wasn't walking.

"So … do you guys like … you guys like … like magic!?"

The rather silent hobbits whispered among themselves in concern for the poor guy's health. 111 years must be really hard for him.

Bilbo let out a large belch. "Haha! I knew you guys would!"

At the back of the crowd was a rather mortified Frodo. "Uncle … you embarrassment ..."

"Oh! Oh!" cried Sam. "Can you make a coin disappear, Mr. Bilbo sir!?"

"One would hope ..." Gandalf muttered.

At this point, Merry and Pippin decided to poke Gandalf. "We've finished the dishes, Gandalf!" Merry said.

Gandalf nodded. "Ah good," he cast a glance at the table, which was still piled with filthy dishes. He glared at the two. "hang on! You've barely even started!"

Merry and Pippin grinned insanely.

"LOOK!" Bilbo hollered randomly. "I can turn invisible … WITH MAGIC!"

"I have had enough of this foolishness!" Gandalf turned back to his seat.

"We think you look very nice tonight, Gandalf." Pippin said.

"Oh yes," Merry added. "very ..."

Gandalf turned around. "Really?"

"A huh." Pippin nodded.

"And you're really wise!"

"Really, really, very, wise!"

Gandalf smiled. "Why … thank you very – oh. It's still opposite day, isn't it?"

Both hobbits shrugged.

And in conclusion to that already massively long story, I'd like to announce that it's still not too late to order in and get a LDC (Legolas Drinks Coke!) product. Only costs one review, and this chapter we're having a BOGO on everything in the store! Order now before it's toooooooooo late!

If you're too lazy to check back at the last chapter (and since I'm too lazy to repost the list) I invented a machine that will LDC-itize absolutely any product possible. True story. It's called the LDC-inator. And because of it, I am now in possession of a beautiful LDC toilet bowl cleaner.

Oh, and if anyone needs a mailing address for their postcards, I live at 221B Baker Street, London. With Sherlock Holmes.

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(Just in case you didn't get it, that last part was a joke).