Chapter 26: Elrond the Mutant Sheepdog
By Archet
Contrary to popular belief, JRR Tolkien stated in the unpublished novel History of Middle XIX: the Story of Smeagol that Elrond is indeed a mutant sheep dog :D.
26. I must accept that Elrond's eyebrows can only do that because he's an elf, and I will never be able to
Dinnertime at Rivendell failed to ever be uninteresting.
Between randomly appearing dwarves, Pippin choking on grapes, and hobbits tumbling off piles of cushions there seemed to always be some sort of phenomenon in the happening, should you require entertainment during your meal.
This particular evening, a rather stormy sort of rainy atmosphere had cast itself into the normally cheery outdoorsy sort of room. This partly had to do with the fact it was raining. It also had to do with the fact there had been a flood in the kitchen, resulting in a ton of water turning to steamy vapour and annoying the heck out of Rivendell's current dinner guests.
Most specifically of course Elrond, which I sure you could've guessed.
It's a well-known fact that the previously mentioned half-elf-Maia-mutant sheepdog-partly human-and part alien... person thingie liked to wiggle his eyebrows around a lot.
It's an equally NOT well-known fact that people like to mimic his facial expressions. A lot
"LOOK AT MEEEEE!" screamed Pippin immaturely, slipping off a huge pile of cushions onto the floor and knocking his soup bowl over into the lap of the elf sitting next to him. "Oops, sorry Figwit."
Elrond's eyebrows went up. One of them stayed up while the other went down.
Merry, Frodo and Sam's eyebrows all went up. One of Pippin's went up. Each of them tried hard to lower an eyebrow, except Pippin of course, who tried to figure out how he had managed to raise the first one in the first place.
Cue Figwit temper tantrum.
Glorfindel sniggered loudly into his Miso soup, cause Elrond to turn and glare at the immature blond elf lord
His lowered eyebrow somehow managed to creep up past the raised one and disappear into his (dare I say it) retreading hairline.
Sam turned beet red in imitation and Frodo snorted into his drink.
"Sam...if you have to go to the bathroom...just go- don't hold it in!" he grinned woozily at his friend, who had somehow managed to get his eyebrow all the way up.
"Oh no..." muttered Sam quietly, looking rather distorted with his messed eyebrows.
"Don't tell me you went in your-" Merry stared at Sam, the redirected his attention to Pippin, who had been rolling around on the floor with Figwit unnoticed for the last few minutes. He was holding his ground rather well for a hobbit, let me tell you.
"MY EYEBROW!" screamed Sam, "IT'S STUCK!"
Elrond turned, pointing his evil-force overload (I mean pretty elfboy) glare at Sam's poor eyebrows. He broke into a...wait. Elrond doesn't grin. He broke into a total you-can't-guess-what-I'm-thinking-face, as Sam stared.
Frodo grinned.
Merry yelled at Pippin.
Glorfindel fell of his chair.
Figwit tried poked Pippin, who screamed and pushed him into the closest object. Figwit rolled directly into Sam's chair, which fell over with a crash.
Aprroximately 7/7 of the characters mentioned in this story (assuming I can count), left the room that night with the story of their lives. Approximately 1/7, aka Sam, left the room without eyebrows.
Elrond refuses comment, though we are still speculating about the more than likely chance he does indeed practice eyebrow voodoo.
Contrary to popular belief, I AM NOT DEAD!...!
Happy bday to Frodo YESTERDAY...
AND YES I UPDATED THIS IS NOT A FIGWIT OF YOUR IMAGINATION.
...see what I did there? :P