Chapter 27: ANNIVERSARY!

By Elf from DownUnder

Dedicated to Gandalf, for winning the award of most-times-mentioned-without-actually-appearing.

27. I will not carve the Deathly Hallows sign into the trees in Lothórien

The company were all in a miserable mood during their first night in Caras Galadhon. Gandalf was dead. Galadriel freaked half of them out. And they had to sleep in trees. Can you believe it? TREES!

Boromir was sitting away from everyone, muttering curses and giving any elf he saw a death stare of doom.

"I hate elves ... I hate this stupid, ugly, treehouse elf city ... I hate Legolas ... I hate that mind reading elf lady ..." Boromir was interupted by Gimli's loud and indescent snore.

The man had to contain his laughter, as he saw the Marchwarden of Lothlórien scribbling all over the dwarf's face with permanent marker while laughing like a maniac.

"Eep! Guys!" Legolas shrieked. "My braid's caught in this tree branch!" he frantically pulled at it, only getting it more tangled.

Sam sighed as he settled into bed. "Everyone is so depressed ..."

Frodo glared at him, his eyes wide and bloodshot. "Sam, of course we're all depressed. Gandalf is DEAD!"

"Really? I thought the one that died was Dumbledore!" Sam exclaimed.

Boromir sighed. "Whatever Sam ..."

There was a moment of awkward silence.

Sam suddenly leaped from his bed. "I'm going to sing to cheer everyone up!"

Boromir's eyes widened in fear. "No, you're not!"

"SOMEWHERE, OVER THE RAINBOW!" Sam stood on a rock and dramatically spread his arms out wide.

Somewhere over a rainbow, Celeborn and Galadriel were clutching their ears in agony.

Aragorn sighed in content, running his rough hands over the bark of a tall and wondrous Mallorn tree. "I remember this tree … this is the tree Arwen and I made out under years ago..."

"Guys! Guys! My hair!" Legolas was on the verge of tears.

Orophin just so happened to be walking past, and rolling his eyes at the squealing wood elf he pulled him away from the branch. Legolas screamed as a lock of his hair ripped out.

Staring at his lovely hair in horror (which was wrapped around the branch quite firmly), Legolas sobbed.

"You're welcome ..." Orophin scowled, and continued walking.

Aragorn was still in his poetic, lovey dovey muse. "And then we stood on the mound of Cerin Amroth where golden flowers bloom, and there we pledged our … WHAT THE!?"

Gimli immediately jolted awake. "What!? What!?" he sat up and splashed cold water on his face, seeing his reflection in the freezing water. "Hang on, what the?" Gimli didn't remember have a thick, black mono brow and 'I HEART HALDIR AND THE GALADHRIM' written on both his cheeks.

Haldir smiled evilly and started slowly backing away.

Gimli furiously stared at the elf. "You stupid elf!"

"Someone's engraved something all over the back of the tree trunk!" Aragorn continued, exclaiming as he pointed at a deeply carved symbol. He had never seen it before, and it didn't look familair – a triangle with a circle inside and a line cutting through the middle. Nope. Totally not familiar at all.

But anyway, no one was really listening to Aragorn. Sam was singing, Frodo had stuffed leaves in his ears, Boromir was staring at the sky and Gimli was snarling at Haldir. He picked up his sharpened axe and took menacing steps towards the elf.

"Hey! Put that axe away!" Haldir warned, silently wishing he had his sword in hand.

Gimli started growling. "I don't care how many elves are watching, or how many fangirls love you – I'M GOING TO CUT ALL YOUR PRETTY HAIR OFF IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY!

Haldir shrieked like a little girl being chased by a rabid squirrel before bolting in the opposite direction. "No! Get away!"

"And look," Aragorn pointed at all the other trees. "the same symbol is carved on all the other trees behind it!"

Boromir rolled his eyes. "No one cares ..."

"I can't believe it!" Aragorn ignored the Gondorian. "Who would do something like that!"

"Aragorn, relax. They're just trees ..."

"THEY'RE SPECIAL TREES!" Aragorn hollered.

Legolas sat next to Boromir (much to the man's disgust), sniffing and dabbing his swollen eyes. "I bet if someone engraved those symbols all over me you wouldn't care!"

Boromir smirked. "That's because it would look hilarious ..."

"SHUT UP!" Legolas curled into a ball and started sobbing again.

Aragorn at his messed up companions confused. "Hey, where are Pippin and Merry?"

"Nobody loves me ..." came the reply from Legolas.

Boromir shook his head and mumbled something morbid about Legolas' fangirls.

"Merry, how many trees have we carved the Deathly Hallows sign on?" Pippin wondered randomly.

"Um," Merry thought for a while. "about 35?"

Pippin looked downcasted. "Oh. This isn't as fun as I thought it would be ... maybe we should try something else ..."

Merry raised a brow. "Like what?"

Pippin excitedly grabbed a tattoo kit in his pack. "We should tattoo the Deathly Hallows sign on somebody!"

Merry shook his head. "Sorry Pip, but I don't think anyone here would want us to ..."

At this moment, Haldir feel clumsily from one of the trees. He frantically stood up, rubbing his butt and looking in all directions. "Is he here?"

Pippin looked confused. "Is who here?"

Haldir shivered. "The ... the dwarf! With the axe!"

"Ah! You mean Gimli!" the hobbits said in unison.

"Yes! And he wants to cut my hair!"

But the hobbits weren't listening. They were eagerly whispering in hushed and hurried voices.

Haldir looked nervous. "What ... what are you whispering about?"

Merry gave him a blank look. "Haldir ... stay still ... and don't scream." Pippin nodded in agreement, holding out the tattoo needle threateningly.

"Why are you looking at me like that!?" Haldir started backing away, sweat breaking across his forehead.

"Don't worry Haldir ... it won't hurt for long ..." Merry and Pippin advanced towards him.

"NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Thus Galadriel and Celeborn got no sleep that night. For the Golden Wood was filled with Legolas' sobbing, Aragorn's ranting, Sam's terrible – I mean thoughtful singing and Haldir's screams.

Hey guys, did I mention last time that this story is OVER A YEAR OLD?

Yeah. Wow. We've come a long way, haven't we? :)